Moments Revealed and Unrevealed
by Montreat11
Summary: For every question there is an answer, it's just a matter of finding the truth. 6th in the Moments Series. Belle's perspective of the events in Storybrooke from the moment Belle wakes up after the second curse is cast and ending with the wedding! R/R.
1. An Unexpected Beginning

She wasn't sure what she had expected.

That the purple fog would clear and she'd be back in his castle? That Bae would still be holding her up around the waist? That she'd arrive back in the Enchanted Forest with nothing? No, she wasn't quite sure what she expected...but this wasn't it.

She remembered purple smoke, she remembered being surrounded by it. She remembered watching Emma and Henry disappear across the line, knowing she'd never see them again. She remembered Baelfire taking Archie's place next to her in the thick of it, telling Archie he "had her." And then thunder and lightning and…Ruby? Yes, she remembered Ruby being there. She had thought for sure that they would have disappeared the minute the smoke touched them but obviously they'd lingered for a moment or so. Enough that Ruby had arrived. They had to have. There was no other explanation for Ruby's voice screaming that she'd made it, calling out for Granny, asking if anyone was there that could hear her, she couldn't see through the storm!

But she wasn't sure if she'd ever gotten to Granny, because this was her next moment, the present. There was blackness, perfect blackness. No sound. No sight. Only…a mattress? Her stomach did a nervous roll as she suddenly became conscious of where she'd ended up. She wasn't in darkness, her eyes were shut, and she was lying in a bed. It was soft and warm and welcoming and she had to fight the urge to panic. The only bed she'd ever slept in as luxurious as this one was, as wonderful as his bed, was the bed she'd had in her room when she still lived with her father in his palace.

The possibility made her break out into a sweat! Her heart hammered at the thought but she managed to keep her eyes shut tight. Had the curse brought her back to her father's castle? Was she waking up away from Baelfire and Ruby and everyone she knew and considered a friend? Was she back in the last place she ever wanted to be again? A princess but prisoner to her father and his wishes. No! She simply wouldn't stay. This wouldn't stand! She wasn't sure what she expected, she wasn't sure who she was if he wasn't here next to her, but she knew that if he were here, in this world or by her side, he wouldn't want her to go back to who she was. He would want better for her!

Her broken heart pounded at the sudden rush determination that she felt, but she managed to keep her eyes shut. She wasn't sure if anyone was around her, if anything would happen the moment someone saw she was awake, she needed a plan. That was easy to put together because it consisted of two words: get out! She'd open her eyes, shove off the heavy blankets covering her, and make a run for the woods. She'd get out some way, she'd find Neal, she'd do her best to look after the one thing that he'd cared about as much as he did her. That was it, the only plan she needed. So she took a deep breath, counted to three, opened her eyes, and…

This wasn't what she expected...not by a longshot. She wasn't in her father's castle. She wasn't in the Enchanted Forest. She was home.

She was still in Storybrooke.

The luxurious bed she'd been in wasn't hers, but theirs. She felt as though her heart had stopped and her lungs were working on remembering how to breathe. Her eyes seemed to have no problem remembering their function, though. They filled with tears instantly as she looked around the room, just as she remembered, just as they'd left it…yesterday? Last night? What happened? Why was she here and not in the Enchanted Forest? Was this a trick of some kind? A dream?

She cast a sideways glance over to the spot of the bed he would have been sleeping in. It was empty. No, this wasn't a dream, or a trick. If it was he would have been there, lying beside her. No! He'd have been holding her just as he always did. Like he never would again. She drew her knees up to hug her chest and cried, not bothering to hold back as she sank back against the bed and stared across at the empty spot next to her. None of this made any sense, but why should it? None of what had led up to his death made any sense to her either.

How could it have happened? Everything had been so great when he got back, he'd had his son and his grandson, he'd had her, he was thinking of a future! One with her, his family! How could Pan have slipped through the cracks so easily and caused…this? Was that why she was here? Pan? Was it possible that Regina hadn't been able to stop the curse in time? That they hadn't made it back to Enchanted Forest and they were now living in Pan's version of the curse? "Something hellish" That was what Rumple had said Pan's version would be like, but other than the obvious fact that Rumple wasn't here beside her, nothing about this seemed "hellish".

Remarkably, though she knew that she'd felt emotionless up until this morning, she felt something growing within her. An itch, an urge she couldn't explain to get up and look outside. Curiosity. She was curious! And right now she felt it twitching the muscles in her arms and legs, eager for her to push out of bed and figure out everything that she could about what had happened. She was surprised. She shouldn't feel this way, she should feel as she had what she could only assume was hours ago. Nothing. Numb. Dead. She should want to just lay here for hours, staring at his empty bed side, and crying into her pillow.

But she didn't want to. It was unexplainable. She wanted to give in to her curiosity. She wanted to get out of bed, to look outside, to figure out what had gone wrong, because there was no doubt in her mind that something had gone horribly wrong, or at least not according to the plan that they'd made. She looked over at his pillow one last time, and gave a final sniff, then obeyed her inquisitive nature. Much to her surprise, it wasn't as hard as she expected it to be. In one easy motion she was able to roll out of the bed, taking note that she was wearing one of her night gowns, and went to the windows. They were shut against the cool weather, as they normally would have been. Outside the sky was grey but it wasn't raining. It was clearly morning, there were birds flying over the trees and the small white house that sat behind his own looked perfectly normal, not a shingle out of place.

But it was, strangely enough, the normalcy of it that seemed wrong to her. Without a second thought, or final glance to the bed, she turned and left the room. All normal. The hallway, the upstairs rooms, the bathrooms, just exactly the way she remembered them. Even the one that he'd made for her when she'd had no memories, before she'd been Lacey.

But she had her memories now. All of them, every last terrible, sad memory was right where it should be. The good, the bad, and Lacey's! If this was Pan's curse she wouldn't have expected that. She should have been back in the hospital, she should have been Lacey, or something worse than both of them combined, but not in their house, aware of who she was, what had happened, and feeling perfectly safe! Or at least as safe as she could feel in his house. But that was suspicious as well. She shouldn't be feeling "safe". She should feel nothing…nothing at all.

She ran down the stairs and looked around again. Perfect. All of it. Her sewing machine, the well dusted furniture, the objects simply laying around the house, even all of his little projects were still sitting right where he'd left them, waiting for him to come back and pick them up. They were terrible, horrible reminders. Reminders that she shouldn't have to deal with because she couldn't…but she could! She should have broken at the sight of his knick knacks strewn out across the tables, just as she'd collapsed broken yesterday. But she didn't break. She felt sad, there was no doubt about that, she was heartbroken and upset at the idea of never seeing him again. But it just didn't feel like it had when she'd watched him die. She'd felt that! A pain in her chest that made her feel as if she had been pierced through the heart just as he had. It had felt indescribable, like no pain physical or emotional she'd ever felt in her life! And she remembered the aftermath, the way she'd felt hallow, and pitiful, torn in half, the way she'd felt as though there had been nothing left for her in the world if he wasn't in it. She still felt those things, or believed them, but they were...duller. In some strange way she felt like they were less real. She couldn't piece it together!

Was that the curse? Had Pans curse somehow taken her love for him or lessened it in some way? NO! Never! No one and nothing, not the Evil Queen, Pan, or Death could ever do that. It was a stupid assumption. She still loved him. She still felt heartbreak and sadness. It just wasn't as prominent as it had been yesterday. Yesterday. It seemed like it was longer than just yesterday. It _felt_ as though it was longer than just yesterday. When her Grandmother had died she'd felt sad too. It hadn't hurt nearly as much as it had hurt to lose her Rumple, but it hadn't been a pleasant time in her life. Yet, over time the pain from it had faded. It never disappeared completely, sometimes she still felt like she could feel it angry and raw beneath her skin, but she'd learned to live with it, to go on despite it.

This didn't feel like that. It didn't make sense! She wouldn't have thought it was possible to ever have any kind of semblance of a life again without him, and it certainly didn't make any sense that she'd feel it this quickly. She walked through the house in a state of utter confusion and bewilderment. No, nothing about this made sense at all; none of it.

She stopped suddenly when she arrived in the kitchen, frozen in her footsteps as if someone had slapped her. No, not someone. Something. Something in here was different. She couldn't pick it out, but she knew it was! Something in the kitchen was not as they'd left it, something had changed! She moved around the room slowly. The dishes were all where they should be, even the ones she'd watch him load in the washer before all of her world had disappeared in a flash of light. The sink still dripped slightly. The back door was locked. The burners were off. The food…the food was different! They'd barely had any in the house when he'd gotten home, they'd made plans to restock it together! But it wasn't necessary, the refrigerator, the cabinets, even the freezer, stocked full of fresh food! But none of that had been noticeable when she'd walked in. It was strange and certainly something to add to the mystery but it didn't explain…or did it.

Suddenly her eyes stopped over something on the milk that made her stomach roll. The expiration date. The milk was fresh, but no milk stayed fresh for that long! No. It couldn't be. She felt her shocked fingers release the door handle and the thing sealed, hiding the evidence that had given her a clue. Something was different. Something small that was difficult to notice. Or just not something she thought to check because it didn't seem possible. She turned around and her jaw dropped.

The calendar.

The calendar was different. She rushed forward and paged through it. It was turned to the same month that it had been yesterday only yesterday wasn't yesterday. Yesterday was last year! A year. A year! That was what had happened! She'd gone to bed and a year had passed?! How was that possible? She couldn't remember any of it. Had it happened? Was the calendar just a mistake they'd made? She shook her head. No, she was certain it was there yesterday. Last year?!

How was this possible? How was any of this possible? Was that why she had this dull feeling in the pit of her stomach? Had she gone through the process of devastating grief and just couldn't remember it? Was it possible her body did? She didn't know, she couldn't know, because according to the calendar she was missing a year! She'd been robbed of a year of grief and devastation but still a year all the same! What had happened that she'd lost her memory of that time? What had happened in the last year? And why was she suddenly remembering now?!

Had a new curse just broken? Or had one been cast? Had they even gone back to the Enchanted Forest? Who would have been capable of doing such a thing? Her first guess would have been Rumple but she knew that wasn't possible! So who then? Regina? Would she do such a thing to get back to Henry? Would David and Mary Margaret to get back to Emma? Or…her heart and mind finally stopped racing as a new and completely unexpected thought came to her, a suspect that she couldn't believe she was considering.

Like father like son.

What would Neal have done to get back to Emma and Henry?

She wasn't sure what had happened, she knew this wasn't what she expected but she was sure she knew what to do next. She had to find Baelfire.

* * *

**Hi! For those of you that are just checking out this fiction, welcome! For those of you who are a fan of the Moments Series, welcome back! This is technically the sixth in the Moments Series although it's the fifth in publication. I'm sorry that Moments Exchanged is taking so long, but it is what it is. ****You'll get number five, Moments Exchanged, covering everything in the Enchanted Forest, if you come back in December during the winter hiatus...and I hope you all will. But until then, t****his story, obviously begins with Belle waking up in Storybrooke just before Emma arrives in "New York Serenade" and ends with the wedding in "There's No Place Like Home"!**

**As always because I am working to keep this series as accurate as possible, so if you spot something that is off, something that we saw on TV that I missed or forgot please don't hesitate to let me know so I can correct it right away. I'm pretty good with details but even I miss things sometimes! To keep track of updates throughout the year I've created a Twitter account under Montreat11 just for Moments! So if you want to keep up on any changes, minor or major, follow me! Also if you enjoy this fiction, please review! I always enjoy those wonderful gems waiting for me in my inbox and I love writing back to thank you personally for reading and reviewing! It helps me know that I'm a doing a decent job. So ****thanks for being here, thanks for reading, and reviewing, and, as always, Peace and Happy Reading!**


	2. Understandable Confusion

She ran back upstairs and dressed faster than she ever had, trying to stay focused on the task at hand and not the odd feelings and thoughts that kept popping into her head: sadness at his empty bedside, amazement that all of her clothes were still where she'd left them, curiosity when she heard people begin to wake up, exit their houses, and ask their confused neighbors what had happened.

She didn't know what had happened, she couldn't be sure of anything except for the fact that something obviously had. She was going to figure it out, but first of all she had to find Neal! And not just for herself or her own curiosity, she had to find Neal for Rumple, because Neal was the only living thing that she had that connected her to him. She didn't know what the final memory she had of yesterday, last year, meant but she hoped that it meant something good.

She could barely stand in the agony of her shock and she wouldn't have if Archie hadn't been holding her up. But Baelfire had taken his place. He'd taken her from Archie, supported her, held her against his side. They'd both felt the loss of Henry, his son, her…almost Grandson. She'd worried that it was the disappearance of her family, that now that he was gone she wouldn't have any one to go to since she wouldn't have gone back to her life before she'd known him. But Neal had made her feel like she wasn't alone-not in that moment. They'd watched their family drive away together and with only three little words, "I've got her, she felt as though they'd bonded somehow. In an hour they'd gone from having the world at their feet to being the only family they both had left.

And now Neal wasn't next to her as he should have been, as he'd said he would be. She didn't care if she was wrong, if she found him and that moment hadn't meant nearly as much to him as it had to her. She didn't care if she knocked on his door and he said that he'd only been trying to be nice and never wanted to see her again. Of course she would be devastated, but at least she would know where he was. That was all she needed. She just needed to know that he was ok, and safe, and healthy. She had to find him. Because he was Rumpelstiltskin's son. Because he was Henry's father. Because he was all that she had now.

Leaving was remarkably easy. There were people outside, neighbors she supposed though she'd never met them. They were gathered in a circle in someone's front yard talking, she assumed by their tired red faces faces and sharp dramatic gestures, about what had happened. But she didn't bother to stop and listen to what they were saying, she could only imagine they were just as clueless and confused as she was. If they weren't they wouldn't have been gathered around like that and it would have just been a normal morning. No, nothing about this was "normal". They might not know for sure, but she did...she'd been there. How she'd survived, that was only another abnormality she intended to figure out as soon as she had Bae back.

So she quietly picked up her keys, noticing that even his car was placed in the driveway as if he'd parked it there himself, and left the house. She was sure to lock the house tight, in case the neighbors got any idea to search the home of the Dark One in the aftermath of his death, but they didn't seem to notice her. She took advantage of the distraction and slipped quickly into the car, started it, and pulled away. None of them even gave her a second glance as she stared back in the rear view mirror.

She drove into town, conscious of similar small groups gathered in front of houses and in the streets. Some were calm, like the one she'd seen across the street, but she passed quickly by the couple she'd seen that looked more like riots. People yelling in the street, throwing fists in the air, faces turned red in rage. No, this amnesia wasn't limited to her, but whether or not it was limitless she was going to find out. And she knew just where to begin.

She'd ended up in their bed this morning, at home. If Neal was here like she was then she was going to check the last place he'd called home. And lucky for her, that place would take her somewhere she hoped that she would get answers. Granny's Bed and Breakfast. She'd never visited him there but she recalled asking Rumple if Bae needed a place to stay when they got back from Neverland and remembered him telling her that he'd been staying at the inn. For all she knew he woke up in his own bed this morning just as she had.

She parked in the place that he always had, the lot by the Rabbit Hole and intended to walk straight to the Bed and Breakfast without delay, but something caught her eye as she walked down the street. It wasn't the B&B that was crowded, it was the diner. A casual glance over, despite the early hour, told her there were people inside. A large crowd from what she could see. She flashed back to all the times she'd met with her small group of friends while he'd been away in Neverland. They'd always used the diner, could there have been some other meeting going on? Could Neal have gone there in search of food and found the others?

She crossed the street, practically ran up the stairs to the door and pulled it open. Sound blasted in her ears so loud she had to cover them as she looked around amazed. There wasn't a small group of people in the diner, there was a hoard, a mass that she would never have believed could have fit in the diner! There were people everywhere! In the booths, standing on the tables and chairs, sitting on the stools at the counter, lingering in the door jam to the kitchen, even leaning out the little window that orders and food went in and out of! And they were all yelling! Screaming at-

"Hey!" David screamed over the top of the crowd. He was standing on the counter, over the town people, looking and acting like the Prince, the courageous hero, he'd once been. And the people responded as though he was. The crowd quieted the moment he'd yelled and stared at him with bated breath. "We know you're scared, we understand that, but shouting isn't going to get us anywhere!"

"What happened to us?!" someone yelled out from the crowd.

"What was the green smoke we saw?"

"No, it wasn't green, it was purple!"

"I saw it and it was green!"

"Are you saying I'm lying?!"

"It was both!" David yelled out over the heads and stopping the argument before it became another riot. "What you saw was a curse enacted by a very clever, very evil boy," he stated as the people quieted again. "Regina was able to pacify it and that was why it changed color. We were supposed to go back to the Enchanted Forest-"

"So why aren't we there now?!" a woman yelled.

"We're really supposed to trust the Evil Queen to do as she says?!"

"How do we know she didn't curse us again?"

"We don't believe that Regina tricked us," David insisted, struggling to control the crowd.

"How do we know?!"

"Mary Margaret and I trust her, despite her past. We're going to try to figure out what happened and where everyone went but for right now the best thing everyone can do is keep calm and do your best to locate your family members just like when the last curse broke."

"My calendar says a year has gone by. A year of my child's life I can't remember!"

"All we want to know is what happened to us?"

"Why can't we remember?!"

"We want to go home!"

David had done his best but the room exploded again. This wasn't going to be any help. The tired look in David's eyes told her that he'd only just awoken to this as she had. She didn't know where Mary Margaret was or any of the others yet, but it was clear that they were no closer to figuring it out than when they woke up. She glanced around at the people, but couldn't get a good look at them. On her right there was a table that someone had just jumped off of and, though she knew Granny wouldn't appreciate it, she took advantage and quickly climbed up on top of it to look out over the crowd.

No one, not even David who was too busy trying to regain control of the crowd, seemed to notice her as she towered over them. Her eyes searched the faces she saw before her carefully, once, then a second time, but by the third time she knew she wouldn't find what she was looking for. Neal wasn't in the crowd. Being here was doing no good then, she had to go to the Bed and Breakfast, maybe she'd have better luck there.

"Belle!" the yell was faint over the voices of the crowd, but she was certain she'd heard it. "Belle!" she glanced around and saw what she was looking for. Ruby, making her way slowly through the tight crowd to the place she was standing. In the end it hadn't mattered that Ruby made it to Granny or not on that road, they were certainly together now, or would be. Would Ruby know if Neal was around?

"Belle!" she hopped off the table and met Ruby by the door. The girl threw her arms around her hugged her.

"You're alright!" she meant to mutter in her ear, but had to shout it instead to be heard over the voices.

"Yeah, I made it to the town line just in time to wake up to this!" she shouted motioning around to the people in the diner. "They all just showed up this morning! Granny and I barely had two minutes before they started coming!"

"There are groups like this meeting all over town!" but Ruby only put her hands to her ears. She hadn't heard her. So she motioned to the door by her elbow, let the mob shout all they wanted to, there was nothing more they were bound to hear or find out being inside. She and Ruby had to fight the few feet to get to the door and open it, but it was much quieter outside.

"They all just showed up this morning," Ruby repeated. "We woke up to people knocking on the door to the inn asking where Emma was and if she'd fix this. Granny sent me here to check on things right away and I just found them waiting outside!"

"And no one has any idea what's happened?"

Ruby shook her head and pulled her down the stairs, moving farther away from the diner, as if she was afraid someone would over hear their conversation, or maybe just read their lips. "I don't even know what happened!" Ruby whispered in shock. "I heard Granny tell the people at the inn Emma wasn't in town anymore, that she'd left. I haven't had time to ask Granny what happened yet or why she wanted me at the town line, that's why I called David. I figured he could fill in the blanks better than I could and I could go check on Ashley and the baby. I was just about to leave when I spotted you."

She nodded understanding, but her brain was still having a hard time making sense of it all. Ruby had gotten to the town line later than the rest of them, just in time. But no one had told her everything that had happened that led up to Emma leaving town with Henry! She wasn't sure what was worse at the moment, living for decades in a prison without any memories or sense of time, or having a chunk of it stolen as it had been now.

Neither. What was worse was having nothing and no one in her life, knowing she'd never see him again. The only thought that made this confusion bearable was her determination to find Neal. She had to locate him. "Ruby," she swallowed nervously, "Neal, has he been here? Have you seen him?"

"Not this morning," she answered shaking her head. Belle shook her own head in disappointment, he hadn't been there then. She hadn't seen him, Ruby hadn't seen him, Ruby had seen her and come running, and she liked to think that if Neal had seen her he would have come after her as well. Neal wasn't in the diner. The diner was a dead end, but maybe the Inn would offer the kind of answers that she needed.

"Is anyone still at the inn?" she asked desperately.

"Granny should still be there, but whether or not the people who knocked on the door are I can't be sure." Then the inn would be the place she looked next.

"I'll check on her," she insisted, hoisting her bag up on her shoulder and turning to leave, she'd go around the back, there was no way that she stood any chance at getting through the diner packed as it was.

"Belle, wait!" Ruby shouted grabbing her hand. She turned to look back at the diner, making sure no one was watching again, she supposed. "No one here knows what happened, we all just woke up this way. They know it's a curse of some kind but they don't know magic, none of us really do. What does Rumpelstiltskin think? Does he have any idea's about what happened or what this is?"

She felt the air leave her lungs again as Ruby's eyes stared into her own. It wasn't Ruby's fault. She didn't know. She didn't have time to learn what had happened, she'd said it herself! Someone should tell her, should explain to her what happened. She should just say it, say the words, tell Ruby! She'd understand, she'd always understood...but she couldn't. No matter how many times she opened and closed her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to hold the sudden tears that had sprung to her eyes back, she just couldn't do it. No, this curse hadn't taken her love for him away, and the pain, while it wasn't as intense as it had been in that moment, was still very fresh, maybe more so than she'd originally thought that morning. And she just couldn't bring herself to tell anyone what had happened, to say the dreaded words. Not even to Ruby.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, wiping tears from her eyes. "I have to go. I have to find Neal."

"Belle!" Ruby called as she turned to leave.

But she pulled herself out of Ruby's grasp and walked away from the scene quickly. "I'm sorry I have to go," she repeated over her shoulder, her voice breaking as she tried to remember her goal and not her past.


	3. Nothing to Lose

She felt bad about leaving Ruby like that, about just walking off and not stopping to explain properly. But she figured she'd get the opportunity to apologize, to explain again. The fact that Ruby didn't know, one of her closest friends, someone who had worked with her and their small group in Storybrooke, meant that there would be others that didn't know, that would come looking for him, expecting answers she couldn't give. One way or another she'd have to find a way to say the words, to live with it. She had been living with it supposed, she'd survived the year, she just didn't know how she'd done it.

She managed to collect herself before she made it to the gate in front of the Bed and Breakfast. At least she hoped that she looked put together. She wouldn't say that she'd cried after Ruby had asked her about Rumple but her eyes had filled with water and she'd had to wipe her sorrow away multiple times to keep the evidence off her face. Ruby was right, if there was anyone who would understand what had happened or why they were here, it would have been him. Without him, she wasn't sure how anyone would figure out what was going on in town; royalty or not. Without him she wasn't even sure where she belonged in this town...or even all of existance.

The bad news was that she owed Ruby an apology for her behavior, but the good news was that she didn't have to worry about that with Granny. She'd been there, she would know not to ask, and maybe even understand the tears. The door to the inn was open and there were still people there. A group of about five or so were gathered around the living room. It looked like a family, maybe two families, and they were much quieter than the people at the diner. They were whispering back and forth to each other, a woman about Granny's age was using the phone, looking nervous as she held her head in her hand. Granny was there next to her on the couch, holding her other hand as all eyes watched the woman.

She found herself staring too, trying to figure out how to get Granny's attention without breaking up…whatever was happening. She knew where Granny kept the records maybe she could just check which room was Neal's and see if he was there herself. "Cindy?" the woman on the phone raised her voice hopefully and a wide smile spread across her face. She looked relieved. "She's there!" she told the group, "she's at Franklins! Oh, Cindy I'm so happy to hear your voice." The whole room seemed to heave a sigh of relief as they smiled and hugged one another. She couldn't help it, she smirked too. With the exception of no one knowing what had happened in the last year, it at least appeared that everything was normal, just any other morning in Storybrooke. It gave her hope. Neal was upstairs, still asleep, just waiting for her, not realizing what had happened yet.

Granny looked up suddenly and saw her. She watched as she offered the strange woman a hand squeeze and excused herself, one of the men patted her on the back and thanked her for her help before she could get away. Granny merely nodded and told them to take their time before meeting her at the front desk. "Belle," she muttered automatically opened her arms for her and she found herself falling into her embrace just as she had when Rumple had left for Neverland. How was it she always found her way here after disasters? She glanced over Granny's shoulder to the family gathered in her living room. Apparently she wasn't the only one that found comfort here.

She pulled away and wiped her eyes again. "Ruby is over at the diner," Granny informed her.

"No, I know," she whispered, glancing back at the family that wasn't paying them any attention. That was just fine with her. "I'm looking for Neal," she explained to the old woman. "Is he here? Have you seen him?"

"He's been registered here since he came to Storybrooke."

"But have you seen him this morning?"

Granny shook her head and glanced back at the family behind her. "I...haven't seen much today. I'm still trying to put together everything that happened."

"Everybody is," she nodded, hoping she'd understand that she didn't have any answers for her either. "Do you mind if I go upstairs? Check on him?" Granny looked her over longer than she would have thought necessary for this mission. She wasn't sure why she'd hesitated, but after a moment she gave a long sigh.

"I put him in room eight, but…Belle!" she didn't wait to hear what Granny was calling after her for, she turned and ran up the stairs without hesitation. She could find out what she wanted to tell her later. For now, all she wanted was to see Neal. Everything else could wait until afterwards.

"Neal?" she spoke as she found room 8 and knocked on the door. There was no answer, and the door handle didn't turn for her. But she didn't panic. It wasn't exactly late in the morning. Granny's hadn't even technically been open for breakfast when she'd stopped by earlier. Was Neal an early riser as his father had been? Or did he sleep late like she tended to do? And Rumple might have always woken at the slightest sound, but he'd told her more than once that sometimes it took him minutes of asking her to roll over before she finally woke up enough to actually do it.

She slapped her hand against the door, hard, banging rather than knocking. "Neal, it's me!" she shouted raising her voice enough that he should be able to hear her, and hoping he would know who "me" was. Did he know her voice well enough yet? Or her accent? Her father's kingdom was small, there weren't many people that had one like hers, none that she'd met yet in Storybrooke, with the exception of her father. Still, did he know that? "It's Belle," she called just in case. Nothing happened and she was certain that even she would have been awake by now.

"Baelfire!" she called knocking again and quickly placed her ear to the door. Nothing. No sound. Not the squeak of floorboards, or the shuffling of feet, or even the snap of sheets and blankets. Now her heart thudded against her ribs as she felt her body go numb. The town was confused but everyone had seemed accounted for. Was it possible she'd left the meeting too soon, or assumed everything was fine to fast? Timidly she placed her hand on the knob and turned. It was unlocked. She took a deep breath and pushed on the door hoping that he wouldn't see her as intrusive if he was there. "Neal?" she asked peeking around the corner.

Her heart fell. No. It did worse. It stopped working for a minute she was sure. "Bae!" she called glancing over to the bathroom and hoping beyond sense that the door was closed and the shower running. It wasn't. The light was off and the door was wide open. He wasn't there. Not only was he not there, but the bed was made perfectly as though it hadn't been slept in, as though the room hadn't been occupied at all! She tried not to panic, to tell herself Granny might simply have given her the wrong room number and she should knock on some more doors, but then her eyes spotted something. A draw on the dresser partially pulled out. Was it possible he'd left? He'd woken up this morning in Storybrooke, packed his bags, and went off in search of Henry and Emma without a second thought?

She stepped forward to investigate. Clothes. Men's clothes. T-shirts and socks were still in the dresser, a glance in the closet revealed a couple of light jackets, pants, and shoes. And there, on the top shelf of the closet, was a large black duffle bag. No. It couldn't be. He'd been in town a while, maybe he'd brought two bags with him? She raced into the bathroom but saw what she'd hoped would disprove her theory. People might leave behind some of their clothes in an effort leave in a hurry, but she didn't think he would have left his toothbrush or, there, in the wall plug so it could charge, his cell phone. She fell back against the door, completely overwhelmed, once again on the verge of tears.

A perfectly made bed, clothes and bag still unpacked, and his cell phone all left behind. She knew what it meant, she knew the only thing that made sense that added up, but she just couldn't believe it! Everyone else seemed to be confused but finding their family members! They'd all woken up in their beds this morning just as she had. Neal should be here! Or at the very least he should have taken the phone with him when he left Storybrooke much less the inn! That was what bothered her the most! She didn't think much of her own, especially not now that she had no one to call on it, but she knew that Emma kept hers on her all the time! She assumed Baelfire would have done the same since they'd been in this world longer. Where would he go without it? Why wouldn't he have called her? "I've got her," that was what he'd told Archie. She didn't know exactly where they stood or what they were to each other but she figured he'd at least have called her or visited her, wanted to check on her as she did him!

"I tried to tell you," she jumped to see Granny standing in the door frame looking in at her just standing there in the bathroom, staring at that ridiculous damning phone.

"Did you see him leave?" she asked hopefully, wanting nothing more than for Granny to say that it had been a fluke and she'd tried to tell her that Bae had left to see…who else was there to see? Emma was gone. Henry was gone. He was…more than gone.

But Granny only shook her head, "I haven't seen much today but I did a head count the second I realized something was wrong. Everyone was here, right where they should have been, but Neal wasn't."

"Could he have left before you got up?"

Granny gave her a look that was almost insulted. It wasn't necessary. Yes, she knew it was a stupid question but she had to ask it, to try. "Not much get's past me. Not after Ruby tried to sneak out of here every way known to man and certainly not Neal. I'm sorry, Belle. His scent isn't in the bed. If he is in Storybrooke he didn't end up here."

"But then where else would he be?" she asked. "Where else _could_ he be?!"

"Back in the city for all we know. We don't know what happened, or why we're here again. For all we know whatever it was that brought us here delivered him back to his home in the city."

"No," she shook her head, "there's no magic outside the town line." Rumple himself had told her that. In fact, if her memory wasn't tampered with, he'd used those exact words. Whatever linked Storybrooke to the Enchanted Forest, their world to this town, she knew that it was limited. The magic didn't extend far enough, it wasn't powerful enough, to deliver Neal back to New York City. The old woman said nothing. She was just as clueless as she was. And standing in this room was obviously not going to tell her anything. "Neal's here," she concluded aloud. "In Storybrooke. He has to be. And I need to find him!" She moved out of the bathroom, around Granny, and strode toward the door intending to figure out where to look next when she heard Granny's voice behind her shout "You're grieving!"

She stopped dead in her footsteps, but that was all that stopped. Was she? Was she grieving? A statement like that, one year ago, would have been enough to make her feel like she'd run into a brick wall at the bottom of a steep hill. It would have knocked her over, brought her to her knees, and reduced her to tears. Of course she felt something, but it just wasn't as bad as it had been then. She'd watched him die and felt numb, empty. Now she just felt lost, like she had when he'd been in Neverland and she wondered if she'd ever see him again or when she'd stayed here after leaving him in the mines. She felt pain and loss, but it just didn't feel like the end of the world, not as it had when Baelfire had to hold her up at the town line.

_"I've got her."_ She wasn't sure what it meant then, but as far as she was concerned it was a two way street. Neal may have held her up then, supported her. He was all she'd had left. Well, now, in this town, she was all he had left. It was time to return the favor. "He's Rumple's son," she muttered over her shoulder at Granny. "I have to find him."

"Grief makes us do things we shouldn't-"

"This is something I know I have to do!" she stressed, turning around and interrupting her. It was Lacey's boldness and quick temper that poured out of her frustration, but the hard determined face of Granny softened her. Obviously the ability to silence a person with a single look wasn't something that Granny had lost over the last year.

"Grief makes us do things we shouldn't," she repeated, "it sneaks up, swallows us up in vendettas, and makes us forget who we are." She knew that. She knew that better than anyone else because she'd been face to face with the beast that grief had created from the man she'd held in her arms in the dark of the night. But whatever she was feeling whether it was grief or sorrow or just some strange phase in the aftermath of whatever had happened that led her back here, she knew this wasn't about that. It wasn't what was driving her. Was it?

"It's not a vendetta," she sighed, swallowing the lump in the throat that was bringing tears to her eyes just thinking about what was going on inside of her and the event that had led her to it. "Baelfire is his son," she repeated in a kinder more appropriate, less desperate voice. "He is the only living connection that I have left to him. I just need to know that he's alright, that he's safe."

"That's fair enough," she nodded stepping forward. "And I'll be on the lookout for him and if I should see him or he comes by I'll tell him to call you and let you know. But you need to tell me you're not going to lose yourself to this. To take care of yourself. I know it's not easy from experience, but I'm telling you that you have to do it. Because the hard truth is that no one else will."

Widow Lucas. It was the name for Granny that Lacey had left in her mind, she'd never used it, ever since she met Ruby her grandmother had been "Granny" to her. But the moment the name jumped into her name a thought that had never crossed her mind before popped into her head. Where was her other half? Had she lost someone the way she had? Who was Ruby's Grandfather? She couldn't hold her tears back and reached forward to hug the old woman, that she'd really never thought about or seen in this way before. Was Granny who she'd be in the future? Without Rumpelstiltskin by her side, was she doomed to live a lonely life for as long as she lived?

No. Because Granny wasn't alone. She had Ruby. She had someone in her life…and so did she. That was why she needed to find Neal. It was as much for herself as it was for father and son. So she nodded and offered the best smile she had. "I promise," she assured her confidently. "If you see him, let him know I'm at Gold's house?" Granny nodded, but it was clear from the expression on her face that she didn't believe her promise. She just didn't understand, there was no way that she couldn't keep her promise. It simply wasn't possible for her to lose herself, not anymore. Whether she felt it right now or not, she'd lost herself the moment Rumpelstiltskin had died. And the saddest truth, the real truth, her truth, was that if she didn't find Neal, if she didn't have that one little piece of him in some way, then she really had nothing to lose.


	4. Alone in a Big House

She'd spent most of yesterday wandering around town, driving through the outskirts, and checking for Baelfire anywhere that she could think of. She took a glance through her library, hoping that maybe Neal would think to look for her as she was him. But the lock was intact, and one walk through told her that no one had been there. It was all just as she remembered it, just as she had organized it. She checked on her apartment, remembering last minute that it wasn't her apartment the last time she'd been there. She'd given it to Ariel.

She knocked. Numorous times. But she had just as much luck at that door as she had with Neal's. When she finally opened it herself she found the apartment just as she'd left it. It looked like his room at the inn had. The clothes that she'd decided to leave behind were still in the closet, there was a book, a child's picture book with photographs from around the world laying on the nightstand that she imagined Ariel had been looking through eagerly each night, and the bed was made, the sheets clean and crisp as if no one had slept in it. Maybe she hadn't. For all she knew Ariel had spent the last year with Eric, and unlike her, woke up beside him this morning just where she belonged. For all she knew, the apartment was hers again. Ariel's absence was no reason to panic...at least not yet.

She would keep her eyes open for the mermaid, but Neal had to be the priority. She left a note for Ariel, multiple notes, in the apartment, on the door, at the library's front desk, all asking the girl to call her when she got her message, that she was worried and wanted to know she was alright! Then, after being sure that both the apartment and the library were empty, she locked them up and went to the next logical place she could think of to find Neal. The pawn shop. Despite the curse, despite his death, the sign above the door still had his name on it, and whether they'd been there for a year and just couldn't remember it or had just arrived back that morning, it still smelled like him. Tears came to her eyes as she closed the door behind her. She knew right away that he wasn't there. The door had been locked, she was the only one that had the key now, and it was too silent. She knew this shop. With him gone she knew this shop better than anyone else in the world! If he was here she would know it. If he was asleep in the back she'd be able to hear him breathing. If he was hiding behind the counter or watching her from some crevice she would feel it.

Or at least she thought she would have. She sighed as she looked around the space. It was warm here, welcoming, and comforting, just as it had been when he'd been in Neverland. It shouldn't have been. She'd felt it when he died. She should still feel it now, shouldn't she?! A feeling like that, it didn't just disappear overnight! And as intense and overwhelming as it had been, it shouldn't have disappeared over a missing year either. Even stranger was her reaction to places like the shop and the house. The feeling, even if it was buried or had lessened somehow, should have risen in her chest and overwhelmed her again. The shop should have been one of the most painful places for her to be. It wasn't. And it just didn't make sense.

She took her time looking around the shop, just in case her "feelings" really weren't working as they should have, to confirm that no one but her had been in the building, but the only thing she found out of place was in the backroom. Signs of a struggle. The shelves of one of the bookshelves he had kept his knick knacks on looked as though it had been broken and a sword she didn't recognize was on the floor. She was about to panic when she glanced behind her to the cot and remembered. Pan. Rumple. Alone in the shop. The cuff on his hand. A struggle had happened here. But it hadn't been this morning before she'd gotten in. It had been a year ago. It was left over from Rumple and his father. From whatever had happened after she'd left him alone that day, a decision she regretted more than she ever thought she would.

She could have stayed in the shop all day, but Neal was out there somewhere? Probably just as confused as she was, maybe even looking for her. The way to honor her true love wasn't by sitting idly in his shop and wondering why she no longer felt the way she had when he had died, it would be by finding his son! There was nothing useful in the shop. She vowed to come back and clean up the mess that was left behind, but she had to move on. She locked the shop and began her search yesterday.

She checked the docks, Hooks ship was missing. Eric's ship was right where she'd last seen it, but Christian Possion was gone…no sign of Ariel either. She went to Mary Margaret's apartment, but no one answered. She'd seen David out and about already, she figured she'd check there later. She asked everyone that she'd seen, everywhere that she could look, even drove up to the cabin. When there was no sign of him she settled for just driving around. Finding the random groups of people, that became less and less as the day wore on and checking faces for Neal's.

She'd arrived home yesterday night. Tired. Depressed. Out of ideas. And completely stumped. She refused to believe Neal was gone, that he'd left the town without telling her or leaving a note, or even just leaving his cell phone behind! He had to be here, somewhere in town, although where he was hiding she didn't know. Why he was hiding didn't make any sense either! She couldn't think of single reason that he wouldn't come to see her, unless...

No. No, it wasn't possible! It wasn't possible for something to have happened in the last year, for Neal to be…. No! She might not have any idea what had happened when they'd gotten back to the Enchanted Forest, if they'd gotten back, or what had happened in the last year, but she couldn't think of anything that they would have done to have cost Neal his life! She didn't think that he would have left her alone in that year. "I've got her," might not have been much of a promise but it was enough for her. Neal was a good man. He wouldn't have said something like that if he was just going to let her down the moment they got, or didn't get, to wherever they'd been in the last year! She'd been half dead and he'd been grieving the loss of his family. How much trouble could the pair of them have gotten into?!

She'd gone to bed nearly as confused as she'd woken up that morning, and going to bed in their room hadn't helped that confusion any. She missed him. When she'd gotten home and the house was still, when she'd made something to eat and had no one to talk to, when she'd sat in one of the rooms and just stared at the project he had laid out on the table, an old clock by the look of it, and had no one to share the time with, but especially when she went to bed.

There was no one. No one to hold her, to guard her against the nightmares, to take up the other half of the bed that suddenly seemed to big for just one person. She'd fallen asleep, eventually. She'd stared at his pillow so long that she forgot to blink and her eyes watered. That was all it took to open the flood gates. But it wasn't just him that she missed, that she was missing. He was gone. So why didn't she feel it? Why was that dead feeling she'd had gone from the pit of her stomach, why did she feel like she was just waiting around for him to come back to her? It might have been worse than actually feeling it when he'd died. That was grief! That was loss and sorrow and death! And she didn't get to experience any of it! To move on properly. She shouldn't feel like she could move on. It simply didn't make sense to her. None of this did.

She woke up in the morning, from a dreamless sleep, the sheet of the pillowcase sticking to her face where it was wet from the tears that she had shed, and her arms cradling one of his own pillows against her chest, pressing his scent into her nose. A poor substitute for the real thing. But in the interest of not spending the day under the covers, thinking about how everything had turned upside-down, she'd simply pushed herself up and started all over again that morning.

Back to the inn. Nothing.

The library and her apartment. Empty.

The letters. Unread.

The shop. Untouched.

The cabin. Perfectly still.

No sign of Neal, anywhere.

She'd asked everyone that she thought of and everyone she ran into. A fisherman by the dock. A woman at the diner. She'd even gathered up her courage and gone into the hospital, both hoping and fearing that she would find him there. When she didn't she wasn't sure if she should have been happy or sad. It was dark and she was home again. The day had been an almost identical copy to yesterday. And coming home was no different.

She leaned against the wood door and listened to the silence echo off the walls of the house. Until this moment, she never knew quiet could be so deafening, but she felt it weighing down on her. The emptiness. The loneliness. The nothing. She couldn't bear to think of him doing this every night, before she'd come back, after she'd left, night after night to an empty house filled with nothing but hostile reminders of loneliness. Doing it herself? Well, there was a reason she was out of the house all day. And she suddenly understood perfectly why he kept a cot in the shop. She couldn't help but wonder if this house, grand and comfortable as it seemed, was really just a part of his curse. The one that he'd had to live through without her.

Staring into the lifeless home, living here for an eternity without him certainly seemed like it was for her. This curse or the old curse or whatever it was they were living through and dealing with kept spinning her head and emotions in ways it shouldn't. She felt the weight of him being gone every second. She just didn't feel the right kind of weight. It felt like those days she'd lived here on her own when he was in Neverland, when she'd waited for him to come back to her. But he wasn't. He couldn't. Those thoughts had no problem sinking into her bones when that horrible moment had unfurled right before her eyes. So why wasn't it sinking in now?

She pushed herself off the door and walked, paced really, room after room hall after hall. She couldn't spend the night doing this again, asking the same questions over and over, having her lack of answers bring tears to her eyes. Maybe being here was a mistake. She'd woken up here, moved in here to be with him, close to him! Maybe she should just go back to her apartment, live there. Without the promise of his return what was there for her in this big house besides misery.

She stopped dead and stared ahead of her, shocked at where her legs at taken her. The door to the basement. The one she'd hardly paid any notice too when she'd first lived here, the one that he'd given her access to hours before…well, before. It was the place he kept his magic and spell books, the items that he didn't want at the shop for fear they'd end up in the wrong hands, the reason why he'd had the room so heavily guarded. There was a lock on it, simple looking but she knew that it's true defense wasn't in that lock, but the one that wasn't seen. He'd given her a key of course, for the real lock but the other key he'd given her, it was in her very skin. Or it should have been.

She stared down at her hand and looked to the knob again. Would that magic still be active? Would it have survived his demise? Did it work like that? Were the items that he hadn't wanted anyone to get still just as safe as he'd left them, or had they been sitting there for the last two days completely unprotected. She rubbed her fingers together nervously. What was the harm of checking? Keeping safe what he'd wanted safe, that was what she should be doing. She hadn't been able to find Baelfire yet. This was something at least.

Before she could lose her determination she reached into her pocket and pulled out the set of keys he'd given her, the keys that unlocked everything in his life and unlocked the door. It gave a small snick that she supposed any normal thief would have thought was a success, but she wasn't done yet. Timidly, hoping the magic hadn't reset and would still accept her palm she lay her hand against the metal knob. It was quick, almost unrecognizable. Beneath her hand the ball flared with heat but then faded to cool as ice in a matter of seconds. The magic still worked then. He'd told her himself that if it had been a stranger, someone besides her, the knob would have burned the hand of the thief. He would have been caught red-handed, literally. But it had recognized her just as Rumple had enchanted it to. For her, the door was wide open.

She should have shut it, been content to know that all she had to do was turn the lock and the items inside would continue to be safe away from the public that knew next to nothing about them. But somehow she found herself wandering down the stairs and looking around.

It was just as she remembered it. Just as it had been the last they'd been there together, when they'd arrived to fetch a book on the Black Fairy's wand, something to help him defeat Pan. The items he'd left out on the table still remained. A flask filled with purple liquid, wool and a bit of straw, no doubt for spinning into gold. A set of scales that contained a whitish rock that looked like salt. And a small vile of golden straw, only a single one laying on the table was out of place. Without questioning why she felt herself picking it up and holding it to her chest. She didn't know what all this all meant, magic was foreign to her...but chances were none of this was good. She popped the little straw back into the vile with the others, for safety, and turned her attention to the books.

They were all there. She'd only ever been there that one time but they all looked in order, and though she didn't know what the items on the table were she knew that the most dangerous thing in the room was probably these books.

She ran her fingers over the bindings on one of the shelves, shivering at their touch. They contained dark magic. There was no doubt about that in her mind, she could feel it. Well, not all of them. Some of them contained basic magic. She knew because she'd seen them before, in her library back in the castle. She pulled one of the familiar ones out, cradled it in her arm and sat down at the table on a stool that he had close by as she paged through it. What he wanted from this she wasn't sure. It was basic stuff, the kind of information he probably had memorized. Magical properties. Magical creatures. Basic potions. Portals. Easy spells even she could probably figure out if she tried hard enough. Explanations and information on plants, animals, magical items. Magical items. Magical items?!

Her jaw dropped as she paged through the section, a new idea forming in her mind. She couldn't do magic, nothing extraordinary, nothing like he could do, nothing that would allow her to find Baelfire. But was it possible that she didn't need to? Could something already be in existence that could help her?

Yes, it was very possible!

All she needed to do was find it!


	5. Valuable Information

She jumped when she heard the knock on the door. From the basement, the place she sat at his wheel with the book in her lap reading, it was faint but still enough to startle her and make her heart pound. Not once in the time that she'd spent here had anyone ever knocked on the door and she couldn't imagine anyone that would except…Baelfire!

Faster than she knew she could move she set the book down and bounded up the stairs. She would have run right there if it weren't for a faint voice in the back of her head that told her to lock the door. Neal had never been to the house so far as she knew and she wasn't sure if he would expect a room like that to exist, but she knew one thing for certain: he hadn't kept that room under the tightest possible lock and key only for her to leave it unlocked, even with his own magic guarding it.

The second knock came harder than the first one did and made her lock the door quickly before stashing her keys and hurrying down into the entry way. It wasn't Baelfire. That much was obvious. The fogged stained glass windows didn't allow her to clearly see who it was, but the shape was too slender to be Neal, or any man she'd ever met. Slender and tall. Who on earth had come to his door? Friend? Enemy? Someone had to have been responsible for why they were all here instead of back in the Enchanted Forest. Or had the news not spread yet that he was gone, and someone had come looking for him? She hesitated in the entry way before she even made it to the door, debating what she should do, when the third knock came. "Belle?! Are you in there?!"

Ruby. She sighed with relief and opened the door quickly. There was Ruby, offering a small sympathetic smile. She was happy that it was Ruby, but a small part of her wasn't. After everything that had happened, that was happening now, she honestly wasn't sure what she expected her to say, what Ruby wanted to say to her. And Ruby seemed to have the same problem, her confident demeanor seemed to have vanished the moment she'd opened that door and they exchanged glances for what felt like an eternity. She hated the way that she was looking at her, like some sort of wounded animal that she wasn't sure how to pick up for fear she'd break it more. It was clear to her now. She knew today what she hadn't when she'd first seen her only days ago.

"You, uh," she stuttered and glanced into the house behind her, "are you going to leave me standing out here all day or can I come in?" she asked gently, her tone was friendly, joking even, but her face was unsure.

She offered the closest thing to a smile that she could muster and opened the door wider for her, a silent invitation. "I brought lunch!" she explained glancing to a bag that she'd dropped that she hadn't been aware of. Lunch? She glanced at the clock. After noon! Had she really been in that basement reading all morning?!

"Thank you," she muttered, suddenly realizing that her stomach was growling at the smell. Last time he'd gone, leaving her without a promise that she'd ever seen him again, she hadn't been able to sleep or eat…yet now she could? Something was certainly wrong with her!

Ruby shrugged, "I worked through the morning and I have to go back soon. But I just got a call you should to know about. Granny told me to come find you here."

Her heart skipped a beat and she felt her body go numb in anticipation. "Neal?!" she finally choked out, hoping Ruby's news would be that he'd been found or sighted.

But she only shook her head. "No, sorry," she muttered sadly. "But what I have to say might be helpful. If you'll listen." Helpful? Listen? How could she not? Other than a thought to find something that might find Neal for her, she had no other ideas! Nothing else to go on! She needed all the help she could get! And if Ruby had been kind enough to bring her lunch, then they may as well eat.

"The kitchen is back this way," she explained, picking up the bag of food and noting that Ruby was still in her waitress uniform. "I'm not sure I have much around to drink besides water and wine-"

"That's fine," she answered. "We only have about an hour, we'll have to hurry."

That pronouncement certainly didn't set her at ease. Or even give her hope. An hour? What had Ruby come to tell her? Why did they have so little time? "What's happening?" she asked setting the food on the table and working to get plates together as Ruby sat down.

"Emma came back into town last night."

The plates in her hand nearly fell from her grasp. "Emma?!" she questioned. "Emma's here?!" Ruby nodded and bit into the hamburger she'd brought for herself casually. She was still working on putting it together. Emma was here? All this time she'd secretly been hoping Neal had left Storybrooke to find Emma and Henry, but would he really have brought her back to this?! Rumple had died to make sure they'd be safe not get into more trouble! "How?" she asked desperately.

"Long story," Ruby muttered as she swallowed and pushed a plate toward her. It didn't matter. Lunch had been forgotten the moment that she'd heard Emma's name. "But the short version is that Hook had to go find her. He gave her a potion that returned her memories and after learning what was happening here she brought Henry back to investigate."

Her mind flooded with questions. How had Hook gotten out and found her so fast? Where had she been? What did she think she could do? But one question stuck out more than most. Emma was missing her memories too? She'd been outside Storybrooke how was that possible? And if it was a potion that brought them back could a potion be created for the rest of town. "Emma's memories are missing too?" she questioned.

"Were," Ruby corrected. "And yes, but not in the way you might think. Granny didn't know, I had to wait to talk to David yesterday when he came to pick up some food for Mary Margaret, I wanted to know why they hadn't called her yet to tell her we were back... Before Emma left, before they crossed the town line, Regina sent them away with new memories, ones that didn't include Storybrooke."

The conversation. The one she'd seen Regina and Emma having right before the curse had hit, immediately before they'd left, the one that she couldn't hear because she'd been partially dead and living in a fog...that must have been it. Regina sending them on their way without any memory of them, the town, her, Rumple...Neal. Had Neal been about to hear the conversation? Did he know that?

"It's fine now," Ruby went on, "Hook reversed Regina's magic and brought her back here to try and solve the memory problem, so we can figure out who cursed us, and what happened in the last year to bring us here. But also…" her friend's voice trailed off as she looked her over timidly. This was what she'd been afraid to tell her, the part that concerned her.

"What's happening?" she asked again, goading her on, wishing that she would simply get it over with. Something else was wrong, she needed to know what it was!

"If it were just our memories we wouldn't be as panicked, but it's more than that. In the last few days people have started going missing."

"Missing?" Ruby nodded. This time her heart did stop. "Neal's not the only one?"

"The dwarves, not all of them of course but some of them were out checking the town lines and they didn't come back. And when Emma came into lunch a little while ago she and David had to leave for another one. Not a dwarf this time, but apparently there are some people camped out in the forest and something happened to one of them." Something happened to one of them? What on earth was going on in the town?! She'd heard nothing of people going missing besides Neal, much less any of the dwarves?! No, that was wrong. Could be wrong. Might be wrong. Ariel. She hadn't seen Ariel since she'd been back, or Christian Possion, but she'd been too busy fussing over Neal to question their disappearance. Was it worse than she suspected? Neal, Ariel, Christian, the dwarves, and someone who lived in the forest! Who else was missing? And better yet, where were they going? They couldn't leave town! What was happening to them when they went missing? And who was taking them?

"Listen," Ruby leaned forward suddenly as if the walls had ears would hear what she was about to say. "Emma called after she went out to the line to see for herself what was happening. She's going to hold a town meeting before dinner to talk about it but she wants us to meet her in the library before she does."

"Who's 'us'?"

"The gang," Ruby insisted, "I'm going to watch the diner for Granny, do my part there, but you, the dwarves, Archie, Mary Margaret, as many of us that are still around."

She shook her head in confusion. "But why?" she questioned. A meeting before the meeting? They were all just as clueless as Emma was, surely, what could she possibly have to say to them that she couldn't say in front of the rest of the clueless town?

Ruby shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the rest of her lunch. "I don't know, she didn't say. She just told me to spread the word about the town meeting, that's what she's doing now, but keep quiet about the meeting beforehand, no one is supposed to know about that but us. I may not know Emma like I know Mary Margaret, but a tone like that, it sounded like she had a plan of some kind."

She had a plan? A plan that she needed her for? No, all of them. Her, Archie, Snow, those that had gone to Neverland to save Henry, but also those that had stayed behind to protect the town. If this had happened a year ago she would have been thrilled to get the opportunity to be a hero, included in the little group that constantly seemed to be saving everyone. But right now, all she wanted was for Neal to turn up. Here, at the meeting, with Emma, anywhere! She would trade just about anything right now just to catch a glimpse of him, to be proved wrong, that he wasn't missing. At this point, she would have been happy to hear that he was simply avoiding her instead of officially being counted among the "missing".

She nodded finally, "I'll go, then."

Ruby smiled, "Granny will be happy about that. She's been…worried about you," she admitted. She wasn't terribly surprised. They hadn't really talked yesterday. She'd stopped in twice to ask about Neal. The first time told her she hadn't seen him but had informed David that she was looking and he'd call if he found anything, obviously he hadn't. The second conversation hadn't been much different than the first and both times she'd moved on quickly without hardly saying anything to the woman for fear of what she might say to her if she stayed longer. She'd have to make amends with Granny for that someday.

"You know I've never been here before," Ruby said suddenly, looking around the kitchen and taking it all in. She jumped at the comment, so lost in her own thoughts she'd nearly forgotten she wasn't alone. Here? Ruby? Well, of course she hadn't been here before. No one had. She was certain that she had been one of the few people to be in this house probably during the entire course of the curse! It might not seem likely, but she knew him. It was his house, it was the one place where he would keep his private life out of the prying eyes of the public. He wouldn't have trusted anyone enough to have invited them over, and frankly, with his reputation, she couldn't imagine anyone trusting him enough to want to come over voluntarily. "It's nice," Ruby added offhandedly, "but big. Are you going to stay here permanently?"

She couldn't help but snort at the comment. In all honesty she was still trying to figure that out. If it hadn't been for the fact that she'd woken up here in her first memory, she wasn't entirely sure she would be here as it was. "Maybe," she muttered, "I'm not sure to be honest."

"Granny…" Ruby hesitated for a minute, picking at a couple of fries on her plate. "Granny told me what happened, that day before the town line. Between Peter Pan and Mr. Gold." She felt the lump automatically rise in her throat, just as it had when Ruby had brought it up days ago. It might not have felt like it did that day at the town line, but she still wasn't convinced she was in a place to talk about it, to say the words, to accept what had happened. "I know that saying 'I'm sorry' wouldn't be enough, but, for what it is worth, I am."

She felt her lips turn into an automatic frown she couldn't help and had to wipe the tears away from her eyes quickly. Granny had once told her that very few people would have sympathy for her if she ever lost him. It was nice to count Ruby as one of those people, to know one of them. The words didn't bring him back, but they were certainly worth something.

"He loved you." She glanced up at Ruby, thinking she might have imagined the words, but when she saw that she was staring straight at her she realized she hadn't imagined anything! It was surprising. "You once told me he would die before he ever hurt you and I didn't believe it, I didn't think it was possible for anyone that…like him to ever be that selfless, but he was. The rest of Gold's ethics are questionable…were questionable, but I think it's pretty clear how he felt about you wasn't. He loved you. And I'm sorry I didn't believe it before."

She didn't bother to try and stop the tears cascading down her face. What was the point? As soon as she got rid of one another would spring to life again. It was possibly the kindest thing anyone had ever said to her. The most valuable piece of information that Ruby had given her today. Even if it did make her cry. Still, she knew the tears were for the wrong reason. She missed him. She missed him so much it hurt! She missed that love. She missed feeling it in the morning when she woke up, when they had lunch together, when they sat in the quiet, and when they were working together to save Henry, even if he had objected to her presence because of the danger. She missed his over protectiveness and wished she hadn't taken it for granted. But she still didn't feel like she missed him enough!

"It doesn't feel real," she finally admitted through a swallow. "None of it feels real." A year ago or yesterday it didn't matter. Whether or not she felt as though she'd lost him or her mind was just playing tricks on her, taking away a year of devastating grief or if there was something to the strange light feeling she felt about it, it simply didn't matter. He'd loved her and he was gone. He. Was. Gone. She just wished she knew why her heart didn't feel it like it had a year ago. Why she wasn't still crippled by grief.

Ruby nodded. "I went over to see Ashley the other day, to check on her. Her leg was healed, completely healed! And Alexandra! I remember her as a baby, but she's a toddler now! Walking around and starting to talk! If it weren't for that and Mary Margaret I wouldn't believe that all this time had gone by. It's all so strange, like someone reached into our heads and pulled out our last year."

"Does anyone know what happened?" she asked, eagerly picking up the opportunity to change the subject away from Rumple and back to Neal. "Does anyone remember anything?!"

Ruby shook her head and sighed. "No. No one that I've met knows anything. They don't even know what happened before with Pan! If it weren't for Granny telling me I wouldn't even know."

"Were you there?" she asked, suddenly remembering the vague memory she had of Ruby's voice at the town line as the smoke had overtaken them. "Did you make it before the curse hit?"

"Yeah, barely!" she nodded. "I got Granny's call to go to the town line right then and she'd explain later. She told me I didn't have to come but...I know Granny's voice when something is wrong and I know what it takes to scare her like that, so I put Alexandra in her crib and left right away. I drove like mad to the town line and I must have been on the fringe of it because I felt like I was driving in the green haze the entire time. Lights didn't help, I could barely see you all at the end of that road, and it was pretty obvious no one could see me. But I remember the smoke turning purple and I got out of the car. I yelled for Granny and I remember trying to find her as I made my way through the people, but I don't think I got to her. I don't remember getting to her, I just remember not being able to see or smell or hear through the thunder and lightning, and then…" Ruby sighed, staring off into the distance as if she was seeing it play out right in front of her eyes instead of a year ago.

"Nothing," she finished. "Just like everyone else, I woke up in my bed here just like it was a normal day. Granny was there, confused as ever. If it weren't for the calendars being ahead a year I would have thought it was all just a bad dream but then people started knocking on our door and we started to put it all together, to look around the inn and we realized…" her voice trailed off again. But she knew what was on her mind, what she didn't want to say out loud for her consideration.

"Neal was gone," she finished for her swallowing the remainder of her tears.

Ruby nodded. "Neal was gone," she echoed.


	6. The Gang's Plan

Ruby told her to eat, they didn't have long. She did as she was instructed, wolfed down the hamburger that she'd given her and prepared to go to town as usual. Ruby excused herself after lunch to go back to the diner to watch Henry while the rest of the town was busy.

"You're watching Henry?!" she exclaimed. She'd told her earlier but she hadn't really thought of it until this moment! It wasn't that she thought less of Ruby's babysitting skills or her ability to protect the boy but she knew that if people were going missing he would be safer with Regina, or someone else who could protect him magically! Not to mention that if a year truly had passed Henry wouldn't be a boy anymore. He would be well on his way to becoming a man. He'd already expressed interest in being a hero he was really just going to let someone watch him like he was a child? She wouldn't!

As if sensing the question Ruby turned as she got to the door. "I forgot to tell you," she sighed. "The potion Hook used to give Emma her memories back, there was only enough for one person. Henry is here, but he still has no memory of us. Emma's trying not to confuse him and to keep him occupied. He thinks she's here on business." Emma's memories were restored but Henry's weren't! Her heart dropped for Neal, wherever he may have been. It meant that even if he went after his son, even if he managed to find him again, Henry wouldn't recognize him, or the name of his grandfather…or her for that matter. And the situation only seemed to get worse!

Emma was trying not to confuse him, she knew what that meant! She was trying to keep him away from magic, from discovering that the stories he had in his head were true and alive before him in this town. As someone who had once been like Henry was now, someone who had no memory of what Storybrooke was or what existed within it, she knew how difficult it would be to make sure that he stayed in the dark. With or without Rumpelstiltskin and his magic, he was bound to notice something sooner or later...it was impossible not to.

Ruby left quickly and she followed so that she wouldn't be late. Whatever Emma was planning she wanted to be part of it, to know if she had any idea where Neal was, and to see if, on the off chance Neal was avoiding her, he'd make himself known for Emma. And if she was wrong. If Neal wasn't avoiding her and her fears that he was indeed one of the missing was confirmed, then she needed to be there so that she could find out all she could about the people that were going missing! There had to be something that she could do to help Neal, to find him, and bring him home again! Even if home only included her and Emma for now.

The library was already unlocked when she arrived. It was startling. She knew that she hadn't left it that way and she was certain the only keys in existence for it belonged to herself and Rumpelstiltskin since she'd never gotten the chance to give Ariel one. Timidly, she pulled the door open and wandered inside. It was quiet, but not nearly as quiet as it was when she was the only one inside. She heard murmurings, whispers coming from one of the back storage rooms and she was just about to reach for something heavy, a flashlight or a broom, when she heard a voice that she knew. "We still can't find our brothers!" Leroy growled. "Three of them, three of them are missing now! How do you explain that?!" Suddenly she had a hunch that she was late and Emma was already there.

Relieved, she made her way into the room and found that she had to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. They'd turned on only one lamp and drawn the shades so that hardly any light would get into the room, maybe hoping that no one outside would spy them all crowded inside. Though she couldn't see their faces clearly, she could tell by their posture that they were all staring at her when she arrived, probably giving her that same wounded animal look that Ruby had given her when she first opened the door. How long was everyone going to look at her like that, like she might crumple at any minute? But then again, when would she feel like she was going to break apart again as she had that day? This strange strength she felt she possessed could only be temporary, certainly! Wasn't it?

"What's going on?" she asked, hoping that they would all remember they were here for Emma and not to gape at her.

"Sorry," Emma stated without a sign of apology in her tone. "You weren't around and we needed a place to meet," she explained, holding up a device that Lacey recognized. Lock picks. Emma had opened the library. That answered one question, but left so many other open.

"And why are we meeting exactly?" she prodded, crossing her arms over her chest protectively, still feeling eyes that she couldn't see on her.

Emma sighed and looked around at the small group gathered together in the dark room. "I need you. All of you. People are going missing and you're all who I trust most in this town, the ones I'm certain had nothing to do with it. So I need help in order to figure out what's happening and why you're here again."

"What exactly do you need us to do?" Archie asked timidly, getting straight to the point.

"We're going to start a riot-"

"A riot!" she glanced behind Emma, squinting her eyes through the dark to see who the voice belonged to and her jaw dropped. It was Mary Margaret. And if there was any doubt in her mind that a year had passed between when she last saw Emma and this moment it all faded at the sight of her mother. Not even the darkness could cloak the fact that the woman was pregnant. Heavily pregnant. In fact, she was certain that the last time she'd seen a woman carrying a child, with a belly that large, she'd gone into labor the following week. She tried to remember to breathe, to focus on what was going on now, but she couldn't help but stare.

Suddenly it all seemed real...to real! There was a year missing from their lives! An entire year gone, when they could have done anything said anything and not known about it. Women could have become pregnant, delivered their children, and woken up without ever knowing they were parents! Bonds could have been forged and torn apart. People could have gotten married, started wars, died, and be carrying on right now without knowing any of it! For all she knew, she'd cast this curse herself, made a mistake, and simply had no memory of it! For all she knew Neal had done it...

"Emma the town is barely hanging on by a thread and you want to panic them more?!" Mary Margaret breathed in what sounded like fear and confusion. There were a lot of emotions and thoughts circling through her own head at the moment, but even she thought that the suggestion sounded counter-productive.

"Yeah, well…not exactly," Emma stuttered. "You're going to cause a riot, but the riot is only a distraction. Something to make the town think we're chasing after someone else so that whoever is really behind this will get sloppy, make a mistake."

"That's assuming they start to make mistakes," Leroy barked angrily at her.

"All we need is time," she countered quickly. "If whoever is behind this doesn't make a mistake, then hopefully we'll be able to have figured out a way to get your memories back. Maybe then we'll know who caused this and we won't have to guess."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Tom Clark suddenly insisted. "Who is 'we'?"

"Yeah, who are we supposed to blame?" Walter chimed in stepping forward.

Emma opened her mouth but closed it again in hesitation as she looked nervously around the room. It wasn't something they were going to like and somehow that told her exactly who they were working with before she even spoke the name. "You're going to convince the town that Regina is responsible for the curse."

She was right. The room exploded as it became obvious that no one liked that particular answer.

"We're working with Regina, now!"

"How can we be sure she's changed?!"

"You still trust her?!"

"Is this a good idea?"

"She caused the last curse for all we know she caused this one too!"

"Everybody!" Emma shouted, her voice rising too loud in the little room and making her as well as half the people with her jump. It made Emma glance up at the shaded window nervously, as if worried someone had overheard their private meeting. "Regina is going to help as best she can but I need your help to convince everybody else that she's not helping!"

"No offense sister," Leroy snapped, "but that's not going to be a problem. What makes you think she didn't cast the curse again?! You weren't there and none of us can remember to prove she isn't just as responsible this time around as she was the first time!"

"I trust her," Emma whispered harshly but with total confidence. "Regina didn't do this."

"Well that's all fine and dandy," he went on, "but your trust means nothing when our brothers keep going missing!" His brothers! Missing?! She looked around the room, studied the faces as she hadn't been able to see before, checking people off her list of individuals that should have been here. Granny, Archie, Mother Superior, they were all here. Hook was gone. She had yet to see him but she assumed since he brought Emma back he was fine. David was missing, but she suspected Mary Margaret wouldn't be half as calm as she was if he had gone missing since she'd last seen him that morning at Granny's diner. Neal, Henry, and Rumple, the three that should have been standing with her but weren't for obvious reasons. But besides their absence, there were four of the dwarves present. That left three unaccounted for. The brothers that Leroy mentioned were missing. The ones that Ruby had mentioned!

"Who else has gone missing?" she asked, curious just how much of town this applied to. Where they losing people by the day?! Or were there others that hadn't woken up in their beds as they should have?

"We're not sure," Mary Margaret stated with a sad waver in her voice.

"People are getting abducted by the town line," Emma informed her. "We're not exactly sure who, or what for that matter, is taking them-"

"For the record, my money's on Regina."

"Leroy!" Mary Margaret chastised.

"Look, I know it's not a perfect plan," Emma went on, her jaw stiff as she spoke. "But it's what we've got. We need help and none of you are going to get your memories back or figure out who did this or find the people who are missing without it!"

"And Regina is the answer?"

"Yes! Leroy, I'll be with her the whole time. We're going to try and find a way to get your memories back, and figure out who did this. The sooner that happens you'll get your brothers back!" Emma and Leroy stared each other down, both stubborn, but both unwilling to say what they wanted to say. Leroy did trust Emma, he trusted her judgment, but having someone you love taken from you without a promise of ever seeing them again, of even knowing if they were ok could supersede trust. He was just scared, just as she was, that she might never see Neal again, never know that he was safe and alive. She'd already lost Rumple, she wouldn't lose Bae too.

"What do you need us to do?" she asked, making the pair of them break their staring match and move on to what was important. She didn't care if she had to work with the Evil Queen, the woman who had imprisoned her and taken years, decades, away from her and Rumple. All that mattered now was finding Neal. If working with Regina was the price…so be it.


	7. A Woman on a Mission

They knew what to do. They had their plan and their instructions. They might not all have been in agreement that it was best, but they all agreed to trust Emma and the plan that she created. The only thing left to do was follow through with it, hope that Neal turned up at the meeting, and know that, if he didn't, as soon as she'd done her part, she could get back to finding him.

They left the library quickly but separately. She unlocked the back doors and let them go their separate ways in small shifts so no one would see them leave as a group and suspect anything. Not all of them were going to the meeting. Mary Margaret was going to sit with Henry, make sure he stayed far away while Ruby worked on convincing the people that chose to go to the diner instead of the meeting. The Blue Fairy and Marco remained behind so that he could take her back to the convent, where his son was staying. Hook and David, she learned, were still out looking for a man that had been taken just that morning.

It was going to take the rest of them, those that were left, to delicately raise the suspicions of everyone in town and also convince them that it was under control at the same time. But she had no doubt that they were capable of it. They could convince them. They could figure out who else was missing. They could find Neal.

When she finally arrived at the meeting with Granny, she realized that accomplishing the first part might not have been as difficult as she suspected. They were already arguing, screaming at the top of their lungs at each other. She stopped dead in her tracks at the shock of it all. Chaos, complete and utter chaos. Just as it had been that first morning when she'd been in the diner. She was certain that it would have calmed slightly by now, but it appeared to have only been festering. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to convince them Emma was after Regina, the feeling that was permeating from this room, she felt like they could have accused Pongo and they'd believe it without a second thought.

"Well, this is going to be fun," Granny muttered next to her sarcastically looking around at the crowd, clearly thinking the same thing as her. "Come on," she sighed, "let's find a place right up front where we can make a nice spectacle of ourselves."

It drew a small snort from her, the closest thing that she would be able to get to a laugh with him gone from her life. Although she would have thought even that small action would be impossible a year ago. Yet another strange action within her, something she was capable of feeling that she shouldn't have been able to…something wasn't right.

She wished she wasn't so short. But Emma was already standing at the front and everyone else on their feet gave her an excuse to look around at the faces before her, to try and look for Neal maybe even the other dwarves. If it was a matter of not being in touch with her, or wanting to avoid her, she hoped he would have at least come to the meeting. If Neal knew Emma was here he would have come for that reason alone! But she didn't see him. Any of them, for that matter. But especially not Neal.

"Everyone!" Emma's voice ran out over the crowd, but few heard it. "Everyone I know you're frightened and confused!" she shouted again tossing her hands in the air and getting everyone's attention. "But I need you to listen." They obliged, sitting down slowly in their seats but never taking their eyes off of her, hoping she'd offer them something they could use to understand what was happening to them. She only wished it was that simple.

"Is it true?!" Archie cried out first, playing the part better than she thought he ever would have. "Is, is there some kind of monster keeping us from leaving town?!" If the town hadn't noticed the disappearances then they certainly would now, and the rumble of hushed whispered voices told her that this news obviously wasn't as widespread as it should have been.

"Is that what happened to my brothers?" Grumpy questioned, only his tone was far too realistic to be an act. He didn't have to pretend, he was still afraid, still angry and untrusting. But it worked in their favor. Possessing anger and fear would only make it easier to spread anger and fear.

"Yes," Emma stated clearly, "we believe that people are being abducted as they approach the town line."

"So we're trapped here," Granny clarified cleverly "again?!"

"It's no different than the last time," Emma confirmed gently. She had to fight not to smile at Granny's clever reminder. She was protecting the people in more ways than one. Reminding them that they couldn't leave the town or else they would lose all their memories, but also ensuring they stayed far away from the line, the place people were going missing. Maybe that was what happened to Neal. Maybe he had woken up in Storybrooke and tried to leave to find Emma and Henry. And when he got close to the line…

"Last time we lost our memories," Leroy pointed out angrily, "This time we get dragged into the woods!" As if Emma's statement wasn't enough. No one would go near the line now, not after that pronouncement. It assured that the town would be too afraid to even try to go into the woods, but they needed more than fear! Scaring the town wasn't the sole purpose of this meeting. They needed the town to feel like Emma was getting somewhere when she wasn't.

So she stood up and looked at their leader. "Do you know who cursed us?" she asked, purposefully redirecting the conversation. "And, why they want us here?!"

"I'm working on it," Emma shrugged, "but it's hard to figure out who cast a curse when no one remembers the last year."

"Who?" Leroy rose from his seat, that same fire still in his eyes. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Do you remember something?" Emma asked him.

"Who cast the last curse," he began, "who knows how to use it?" The room seemed to vibrate with nervous energy again and around her she began to hear shouts of approval and nods of agreement. Leroy had done it. "Who's the only one who ever did anything like this before?!" he screamed, at the top of his lungs rallying the towns people far too easily. "The Evil Queen!" he declared, pointing toward the back.

She followed his motion, followed the gaze of every eye in the building to find Regina, standing alone at the back of the room, just as they'd planned. She had to admit that she was slightly surprised, part of her wasn't sure she really would show up. But being here, working with them instead of against them, was a good sign in her mind. It was proof that Regina truly wasn't the one responsible for this curse. Or if she was just couldn't remember casting it. She never thought she'd see the day that she began to trust the Evil Queen, but it was just another strange feeling within her she didn't understand. Or maybe the feelings were just missing. She didn't feel loss, could she feel distrust? Or was that gone too? Was that possible? Did that explain the reason why she didn't feel as though she'd been sawn in half?!

"For once," Regina declared, dragging her attention back into the room, "I'm just as clueless as the rest of you."

"You expect us to believe that?" someone questioned. She had to bite her lip and concentrate in order to not celebrate. It was good. That man wasn't in on their plan, he'd said that without being prompted too. The suspicion was growing and their plan was working

"It's the truth," Regina assured them.

"This curse has your fingerprints all over it," Granny insisted.

"And you did take away our memories once before," she pointed out in the silence.

"You still have your big house," Granny pointed out.

"You think I care about my house?!" Regina fought back with an angry laugh. "About my job, about any of these things?"

"Regina, please," Archie begged, "just tell us the truth. We'll understand."

"Speak for yourself" Granny responded.

"I am telling the truth!" Regina insisted, rounding on the crowd. "If I had done this there's one thing I'd have right now: my son!"

"Yeah," Emma scoffed, "you're not getting anywhere near him until I get to the bottom of what's going on here."

Regina and Emma stared at each other for a moment, facing off. "So now you're siding with the rabble?" Regina questioned finally, putting on another all too convincing show of being hurt and furious at the same time. Emma held her ground, offering another accusing stare. It was convincing, almost too convincing. In fact, she couldn't help but wonder if they were both still harboring some resentment toward each other over Henry. Maybe some things hadn't changed, maybe some things were incapable of changing no matter how much time passed by or what happened in the past. "I thought we'd been through this. I'm innocent!"

The crowd stood up and she watched as they all turned on the former Queen. She stepped into the aisle fighting to see over the heads of the crowd whose anger was beginning to grow, their suspicion sparked. Now they just had to convince them that Emma had it all under control. But it wasn't them that could do that, it was Emma.

"Yes, that's what you said before," Emma stated, "but now I'm wondering if I believe you."

"Don't come any closer!" Regina yelled throwing out her hands at the angry mob forming, the motion caused a visible wave of hesitation to wash over the room. "Do you remember who you're dealing with?!" she questioned. Of course they knew. It was obvious the way they were looking at her now! They knew what those hands could do if provoked. She knew something was coming but she didn't know what it was. Emma promised no one would be hurt but she honestly didn't know if she trusted the queen that much yet. "If you all want me to be the Evil Queen, then fine! That's exactly who you'll get."

Suddenly Regina threw her arms out and she felt the magic rise thick in the air. She still recognized the feel of it against her skin, even if it didn't feel exactly as his did. The hair on her neck and arms stuck up as the ground began to shake beneath her feet. An earthquake. She'd created an earthquake! And everyone in the room felt it as they struggled to stay on their feet. The room shuddered and swayed. Signs fell, furniture shifted, and the ground vibrated. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a puff of purple smoke and the Evil Queen vanished before all their eyes as the room stilled.

"I knew she did it!" Leroy shouted as everyone settled into their seats and those that had fallen fought to get back on their feet again. No one appeared to be hurt, but she had to admit, it was a nice touch. The final nail in the coffin.

"We can't let her get away," someone stated, but Emma was already on the move, walking down the aisle and passing people by quickly.

"I won't," she stated with angry determination before finally picking up the pace and running out of the room. A woman on a mission, preparing for a fight, a hunt.

It just wasn't the mission everyone else thought that it was.


	8. Unexplainable Feelings

They stayed put after Emma left, it was what they'd agreed on. After riling everyone up now they had to calm them down. So they inserted themselves into conversations, they tried to stress their belief that it was Regina that was behind the whole thing and that Emma was going to handle it, to solve the mystery. But they also listened. And watched. For the names of any others that were missing. For someone to say something they shouldn't, something that didn't belong. For someone to give away a hint about who was really behind this, and how to get their memories back.

But so far she'd heard nothing. She moved on from the group she was standing among, the ones that obviously were just as confused as she was, in order to inspect a small group talking feverishly in low whispers and heads bowed in the corner, when suddenly she collided with a man who stood up to quickly and smelled like flowers.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" her belly felt as though it had been dropped off the library tower, her heart stopped, and her breath left her lungs as she felt all the blood she had race to her head making her face turn red. Anger. She felt it there, pulsing just below her skin as the man that had helped to right her suddenly jumped away as though he'd been burned by her.

"Belle!" her father gasped as the realization of who exactly he'd nearly knocked over touched his eyes. She didn't know what to say. Her mouth felt dry and there was a lump in her throat that wouldn't allow any of the words she thought up to leave her lips. It was the first time she'd seen him since that day in the mines. She'd told him that she never wanted to see him again and she'd meant it. After what he'd done?! After he'd tried to take her away?! After he'd tried to erase everything she was, everything that had made her his daughter, and replace it with the nothing she'd been before just to get her away from Rumpelstiltskin!

"Belle, I," he reached out to touch her arm but she took a step away, out of his grasp. She couldn't see his face, it was blurred behind tears she refused to blink away. He no doubt knew about her and Rumple, about what had happened after the mines. Whether or not he knew that Rumple was gone, or believed he was still around as Ruby had she wasn't sure, but she surely wasn't going to be the one to tell him. She wasn't ready to say the words, she couldn't live with the way he'd say "I told you so" or "he destroyed you." She just couldn't take it. And if he insisted that she come back to him, to live with him, to be his daughter again, the girl she'd been before Rumpelstiltskin had made her who she was? The very suggestion made her sick. "Belle, wait! Please. Please let me explain!" he called after her.

But she didn't listen to him. She was already half way to the door, forgetting their mission, forgetting his face, forgetting their plan. Outside, she leaned against the wall of the building with her arms wrapped around her trying to catch her breath and clear her head in the cool thin air. But it wouldn't work. The yard around them was filled with the same small groups, buzzing it seemed with tense activity and humming with whispers, important information that she should be trying to overhear. But she couldn't, she couldn't bear it. So she pushed herself away from the wall and walked away as fast as she could to nowhere in particular.

She hadn't been prepared for that confrontation, somewhere deep down she wondered if she ever would be. The truth was that she would have forgiven her father, just as she'd forgiven him over time. It hadn't just been their bond that forced her back into his arms, it had been the way that he'd apologized, that he'd reformed, or at least tried to. Her father wouldn't do that. He wouldn't apologize for what he'd tried to do, he'd never understand what had passed between the two of them because he'd never try to, never want to. He'd only see the past, he'd only see the monster he'd met in the war council room.

Rumple was her future…or he had been. Now there was nothing, and she wished that she would remember that. She wished that she would feel it like she had that day at the town line. She was missing half herself, half her soul, half her life. Her future was stolen from her. And she felt like there would have been some comfort in feeling that kind of grief. Sad as she was she shouldn't still feel whole. Maybe then she wouldn't make the mistake of thinking there was a life without him. The only future she had now was Baelfire. Finding him, keeping him safe, and making sure he was happy. That was the future he'd left for her, his life's work, his legacy. If she couldn't feel it, then maybe she'd find some comfort in living it out.

Her legs brought her back to her library and she pulled the keys out of her pocket to unlock the door. The task was finished. She'd done as Emma asked her to do and now she had work to do, now she had to find Neal. "Belle!" She jumped as someone called her name and turned around nervously, hoping that there wouldn't be any more surprises for the day. She was wrong. It was a surprise, but not a terrible one as she'd feared. It was Mary Margaret, walking down the street from Granny's. Henry was with her. "Hi!" the woman greeted, as though they hadn't seen each other in one of her back rooms only hours ago. "Belle this is Henry, Emma's son. Henry this is Belle, the town librarian."

"Oh! It's nice to meet you," the boy held out his hand for her to shake. Awkward and strange as it was she slowly reached out to take it, all the while her brain trying to put together what had led them to this moment. It was an entirely different kind of emotion, seeing Henry again. Being introduced to him as if she was a complete stranger. She found herself longing for her emotions again, for the ones she'd had the day that he and Pan had switched bodies. He'd asked if she was his grandmother, understanding even at a young age that they were bound together in some way through Rumple even if it wasn't through blood.

He didn't recognize that now. He didn't look at her with trust as he had when he'd asked her if she trusted Rumple. He looked at her with respect. The same amount he would give to any librarian he didn't know. How had Rumple ever survived looks like that from her when she was nothing. Worse, how had he survived them when she was Lacey?! She didn't know Henry well and yet she felt like it was a knife in the heart...though not as bad as a dagger to the heart of the Dark One.

"Henry and I thought he might find something to read while he and Emma are in town," Mary Margaret said after a moment. Suddenly she realized she'd been staring, been too silent for too long, and her words shook her from her stupor.

"The sign says the library's not open yet-"

"No, it," she shook her head, finding her voice again and managing a smile. Maybe he was exactly what she needed to help her forget her previous encounter. She'd forgotten something. Henry was his legacy too. She'd make sure he was just as happy as Neal would be when she found him. "It's fine," she smiled, "come on in. I think I have something for you." She and Mary Margaret exchanged glances before she unlocked the door and led them into her sanctuary. She didn't need the silent warning, she wouldn't tell Henry anything, just give him exactly what he was looking for. Something to pass the time in happiness.

"I'll bet," she sighed tossing her green jacket onto her desk and leading him back into one of the rooms that was precisely as she'd left it a year ago, "you're looking for something adventurous. Right?"

"Yeah!" Henry confirmed with a curious interest. "How'd you know?" Because he'd once told them all how he longed to be a hero, he just couldn't remember. And she couldn't tell him how he had been the hero in his own adventure.

"Lucky guess," she lied. "I have a sense about people and you look like someone who would enjoy a good adventure. Something heroic."

"Good guess," he smiled. She looked at the books lined up before her. Shelf after shelf of adventures and fantasies, of grand heroics, daring sword fights, magic spells, and far off places that Henry would never guess actually existed.

"Take what you'd like," she encouraged. "It's yours."

"Thanks!" He didn't understand, she could see it in his face. He thought she meant to borrow, but for all she cared he could keep it with him forever. A gift from the love of his grandfather, the one who had died for him. The one he'd never know.

"I know you're probably busy right now," Mary Margaret whispered harshly in her ear, "and you're not really open but I was wondering if you had any books on…this," she motioned suddenly to the bulging belly that she was still not accustomed to seeing on her. "Babies. Pregnancy," she settled, obviously flustered. "The ones that I have just keep making me nervous and I found someone to help me but I still-"

"It's alright," she smiled, placing her hand on her shoulder and silencing the princess's nervous rambling. Not that she could blame her. If she'd woken up pregnant, expecting a baby without knowledge of how long she'd been pregnant or when or how it had happened, she'd have died from the shock. "I understand, it must be a lot to take in all at once. Come with me," the pair excused themselves from Henry who was already eagerly pulling book after book off the shelf to inspect them and went back into a section that she hadn't worked on much, but had everything that she would need. "Take what you need for as long as you need it."

She sighed with relief and stepped up to the shelves herself. But before she began leafing through them as Henry was she cast a nervous glance over her shoulder. "How'd it go?" she whispered softly, so that Henry wouldn't hear the pair of them. She was quiet herself, knowing that it would be a difficult conversation to explain to someone not privy to what was going on in the town, but she filled her in on what had happened. She told her that it had all gone according to plan and she had nothing to worry about, but she left out the bit concerning her father. There was no need for Snow White to know that about her. There was no need for anyone to know. Not anymore.

But was it possible that she knew something else? That Mary Margaret might be able to confirm something else for her? Something she didn't quite understand? "How...how do you...feel since all this happened?" she asked.

The woman gave a funny smile as she pulled out a book to look at. "Well my ankles are swollen but at least I don't remember the morning sickness."

She shook her head. She'd misunderstood, she didn't mean physically, she meant emotionally. Did she feel as though she felt something within her that didn't belong? "I didn't mean it like that," she corrected. "I meant…" What? What exactly did she mean? Did the words exist for what she meant?

Mary Margaret sighed, set the book she had picked up on a table and stepped forward. "A week ago I was standing in a cave telling David that I wanted to have another baby, then a few days ago I woke up ready to have a baby. I have no memory of being pregnant. No memory of how or when our child was conceived. If it weren't for Doctor Whale I'd have no idea how long I've been pregnant! And now my grandson is standing in the same room as me but thinks I'm his mother's old cell mate from jail…!" she paused as she gave a false, nervous smile and wiped a tear from her cheek, the only sign of what she suspected was inner turmoil. "I feel the same as everyone else. I don't know what to feel."

She tried to smile, to nod and pretend as though that was what she meant, but she didn't feel relieved by her answer. Not knowing what to feel was normal. The Queen displayed all the signs of having too many emotions to choose which one she wanted to feel. Anger. Confusion. Fear. They were all emotions that she felt too, but at least they were right! If Rumple were here by her side he would have had them as well. She'd be the only one to know it, to see it beneath the mask he would have put on for the world around him, but he'd feel them the same as she did.

But the feeling she had was different. It didn't belong. It didn't make sense. She felt as she should have when she'd lost him. She'd felt as though someone had killed her too, taken half of her, stolen away the breath in her lungs and she was merely a body walking around but not alive. It was because of him. She knew it was! It was because of the bond they shared. True loves weren't supposed to be separated, they weren't made to survive without the other and lead normal lives! It wasn't a feeling easily overcome! He was gone. So why didn't she feel like it. Why did she feel like, as much as she missed him, the bond was still intact.


	9. A Place to Start

Mary Margaret and Henry left soon after they arrived. They'd taken a handful of books and thanked her before walking off down the street together. She wouldn't say that their visit had made her day, but it had at least made it better than it had been. Seeing Henry as a normal teenage boy brought her some form of comfort. It made her feel like his sacrifice hadn't gone to waste, that even if Henry couldn't remember the deed, he was at least living the life that he'd wanted him to have.

And Mary Margaret was kind, that had always been her impression of her despite the little that they'd interacted, but she knew that she just wouldn't understand what was going on inside of her. Her family was safe. She knew where they were and what they were doing. She knew they were alive. All she had was Baelfire. And right now she couldn't say with certainty that she knew where he was or what he was doing. As much as she hated to even think the words she had to admit the truth. She didn't know if Neal was alive. All she had was hope.

She wondered if this was what Rumple had felt like for centuries, after he'd lost his father, or Neal, or even her. She understood as she hadn't before, the unease that clawed inside of her, that made her want to close up and never tell a soul what she felt or thought because it wouldn't make any difference. They wouldn't understand. How could they? She didn't even fully understand the strange pains she felt. The sorrow. The determination. The wholeness that she knew didn't belong. How could anyone ever understand that? Understand her? They couldn't. The only one capable of that would have been him. They'd always understood each other. Always. With him gone, no one ever would again.

She'd heard nothing from anyone since she'd left the meeting, no calls, no news. Nothing. So she'd made herself busy, done her best to focus on the task at hand, and got to work. She found all the books that she had on magic. But they weren't the books that she needed. They were the books from this world. The Land Without Magic. She needed information from their world. For the first time she didn't need the fantasy adventure to give her a hypothetical item that didn't exist. She needed assurance. She needed the books from their world. Fortunately for her, she knew exactly where to find what she was needed.

So she'd locked up the library for the night, walked across the street, and into the pawn shop. It was still intact, still just as she'd left it yesterday night when she'd finally picked up the mess the broken shelves had made on the floor. Still comforting, still warm. As much as she wanted to bask in it, she'd wasted no time in going to the back, finding the row of spell books he kept hidden from prying eyes, and picking one to page through.

Items. She needed items. Something that was already in existence, already enchanted. She couldn't waste time trying to figure it out for herself. She found things, in passing. A glass that could see between worlds. A candle that could come to life. A sword that could only be possessed by someone meant to rule. Even a reference to the magical beans harvested by giants that could open up the portals between worlds. But it wasn't what she needed! Their magic was too great, she knew that. Enchanting something to find someone or something would have been a simple spell. She didn't know what she was looking for but she knew that it would be small, inconspicuous. It would be the answer to everything.

She jumped as the bell outside chimed and her heart suddenly beat rapidly within her chest. Someone was in the shop. Someone was walking around out front. There were steps coming closer and closer. Baelfire?! Or someone much less friendly. She'd found a sword laying on the floor and placed it on the table before collapsing onto the cot. She didn't know how to use it properly but it was better than nothing. As the footsteps moved closer, behind the counter, and a shadow appeared by the curtain, she lunged. The book fell from her lap, she clutched the sword in her hand, and held her breath…before Ruby stepped into the back room.

The girl smiled as she stepped back and took in what she was sure was a shocking sight. "Were you going to use that on me?" she asked, glancing to the sword in her hand. Her nerves seemed to pass and she smiled as if entertained by the notion. It was a funny thought, if she'd been in a better mood she might have laughed with her. But she was different than before. There wasn't time to laugh. She didn't have the heart. She had to find Neal. It was what she had left.

"I didn't know it was you," she assured her laying the sword against the table and picking up the spell book.

"Sorry, sometimes I forget that not everyone can smell like I can," she apologized gently. Ruby moved into the room and glanced around it with new eyes. Probably another place that she'd never been before, and never would have been if Rumple had been alive. "I never know where to look for you anymore," she muttered sitting on a stool. "First you're living in his house, then I hear you're working in the library, now you're here. Are you a librarian or a pawnbroker? Or both?"

She shook her head and settled back on the cot. "I'm neither," she informed her. "I'm just working, just trying to find Neal." Her breath caught on the word as she perceived the woman before her and hope rose within her. "Did they find him?" she asked suddenly, wondering if Ruby had come to tell her good news. "Do they know what happened? Do they know where Neal is or…"

Ruby shook her head, silencing her before she could finish asking. Of course they didn't know. Ruby would have told her the moment she'd come in if it was true. "I got a text from Emma before dinner. All it said was that there was a change of plan and we should just 'go with it'. Then Leroy came into the diner and told everyone during dinner that Emma had found Regina working on a potion in her office. He said that she'd been planning to use it to prove her innocence, to bring their memories back, and that as soon as it was finished we'd know who was responsible for all of this."

She furrowed her brow in confusion as she replayed the message over again in her head. It made as much sense the second time around as it had the first. None! That wasn't a change of plan, that was a different strategy altogether! "I don't understand," she confessed. "What are they trying to do?"

Ruby shrugged, offering another smile, though this one was unsure and nervous. She didn't know either and she clearly didn't like not knowing. "She didn't say."

She sighed and looked down at the book in her lap. Ruby didn't know. Ruby! Mary Margaret's best friend. The best friend of the mother of the savior was clueless! They wouldn't tell her. They never had. Despite the fact that she'd been permanently attached to Rumpelstiltskin's side, they'd never seen her as part of the little team they made up. She was support, but nothing more. Clearly, if they hadn't thought to inform her of what was going on, that hadn't changed. For all she knew they would find Neal, but it could be days later before they finally got around to telling her. They didn't understand her determination, her need to find him. They'd be of no help to her. In the end, her only hope, her only help, rested in the books. In finding the right one, the right plan, the right…whatever it was that she needed.

"What are you reading?" Ruby asked quietly. She nearly jumped, forgetting that she was there with her.

"It's a spell book," she explained.

"I thought you didn't care for magic."

"I don't, but…" but she was desperate. But she felt as though she was drowning in this sense of purpose and determination that she shouldn't have, that he should have taken with him. "I'm looking for something."

"What?" she questioned. Neal. Information. An item that she wasn't even sure existed but she hoped would. Help. Hope.

"I don't know," she admitted, shoving the book off her lap, sitting forward, and rubbing her hands over her face. How was it she couldn't remember a minute of the last year of her life, but she felt as though the last three days, ever since she'd woken up in that bed, seemed to have taken hundreds of years.

"There's something else going on, isn't there?" Ruby went on with a swallow, looking her over with suspicion. "There's something wrong, something besides the obvious? Something you're not telling me? Or Granny, or anyone else for that matter?" she prodded.

She glanced up at her friend, her curiosity growing again. Did that suspicion of Ruby's come from the look she had on her face? Or did it come from something that she felt too? Something that Mary Margaret hadn't trusted her enough to confide in her? Or was she really alone? Was she the only one that didn't feel like something was right on the inside?

"I don't...I don't feel like I should," she admitted quietly. "Something doesn't feel…right."

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked, looking her over with a sympathetic worried face. It wasn't accusing, didn't judge, which she appreciated seeing as she had nothing but a feeling. But she didn't feel comfort, her curiosity was like a strange itch she couldn't reach. She didn't want to have to explain it, she just wanted someone to understand it. She wanted him to understand it as he always had, with or without words. But he was gone, and Ruby was here, sitting with her, asking if she was alright. He was gone. And she supposed she should just get used to talking to other people about what was going on within her. It wasn't as if anyone would ever be able to understand her as he had again. That kind of understanding came only once in a lifetime, the product of a unique love. But Ruby would be a start.

"Belle?" Ruby prompted at her silence. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, trying to think of the words of a way to describe it. A way to make her understand. "When he was in Neverland," she began, "when he was in Neverland and I wasn't sure when or if I'd ever seen him again, I missed him day and night. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, but I knew that he was alive. I can't explain how, I just knew that if he were gone I would have felt it. And I did, a year ago." She pressed a hand to her heart as she swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat as everything she'd felt that day, that moment, flowed back into her as though a dam had broken somewhere in her heart. But they were only memories, ghosts of the feelings she'd had. They weren't really within her now. And she wanted to know why more than anything else.

"I felt what happened to him. It felt…like the end. Like nothingness. Like someone had reached inside of me and pulled out my soul. Broken a connection that I'd always had. It was certain and unquestionable and undeniable, and I'd have felt that pain if he'd been right in front of me or in another realm. But now?!" she laughed falsely, it was either force a laugh or cry and she wasn't sure that she had the strength to cry at the moment. "Now...ever since I woke up that morning…I still miss him, but I don't feel like I did. I miss him. But it's the same feeling I had when he was in Neverland. He's gone, but I still feel as though I'm just waiting for him to come back. There is nothing certain about it. I just don't understand why I don't feel it! How something like that could change over such a short period of time with or without memories!"

Ruby looked her over sadly, as if she might be the one to cry if she said something more. Had she gotten through to someone? Did she understand? Did she think she was crazy for wanting the feeling she'd had before? "You think it means something?" she asked.

Meant something? She hadn't considered that. That it might mean something. That there was a reason, a purpose, for the feeling. But if there was something that it meant, she couldn't fathom what it was. She'd seen him die, she'd felt him die, her brain seemed to understand just fine. It was the rest of her that had suddenly refused to believe the truth. "I don't know," she answered honestly.

"Is that why you're reading spell books?" Ruby asked. "You think it might tell you what's wrong?"

"No," she shook her head and pulled the large volume back onto her lap. She hadn't thought to check his spell books or notes to see if he had anything written down on true love, but now that she mentioned it, it wasn't a half bad idea. He'd studied true love before the curse was cast, he'd told her that before but said little about what he'd discovered. Maybe he'd have something at home that could help, something hidden away to answer her questions. For all she knew, what she felt was perfectly normal. "No, I'm looking for something. Something to find Neal and anyone else who might be missing."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but there has to be something!" she insisted turning the book open again to the pages she'd been on before Ruby had turned up and paging through it again. "Some object that exists to find something. Fairy dust. A magical bow and arrow. A-"

"Compass?" she glanced up at Ruby's suggestion. No, not a suggestion. There was more than a suggestion in her eyes. It was an idea.

"You have something that could help?!" she assumed eagerly. "A compass?"

"Well…I don't _have_ anything," she corrected. "I've only ever heard stories. _Declinatio de Adpeto_, that's what they called it."

"Compass of desire," she translated. If it was what it sounded like that might be precisely what she needed. Her desire, her greatest wish was to find Baelfire, if there was a compass in existence that could lead her straight to him then that was what she needed to find! "Do you know where to find it?!"

She shook her head, "I only ever heard a story or two, never saw it, never learned where it came from. People searched for it, but I've no idea if they were successful or not. I don't even know if it's real or just a legend!" A legend? Real? Legends always started somewhere, even if they morphed into wild fantasies over time, there was always something true about them! "I'm sorry I don't have more than a name for you, but-"

"It's more than I had before!" she corrected Ruby. It was a name, it was a place to start.


	10. The Future That Never Was

It was an excellent place to start. But she and Ruby had searched the spell books that she had there in the shop and found no mention of the _Declinatio de Adpeto_. She appreciated the help Ruby offered, more than she thought she would have. It made her feel like she wasn't as alone in solving this mystery as she thought. But, with the spell books in the shop exhausted and Ruby expected to open the diner the next morning they had no choice but to say goodnight for the evening. But still Ruby promised she would ask around the diner and come help her again tomorrow afternoon and in return Belle promised to let her know if she found anything before then. Tomorrow planned, she went home to the basement and spent half the night paging through books before she finally found any mention of it. There wasn't a lot written on the subject, a small paragraph for a small object, but what she did read gave her more hope than she'd felt for days.

"Declinatio de Adpeto, _The Compass of Desire, sometimes called a Lost and Found, is a rare item that will point the possessor in the direction of the thing they most long for. The first record of the compass appears almost one hundred years ago. It was owned by a hunter, who claimed that he received it as a gift from his father, but was unable to trace it back further. He claimed the compass was created by a genie when he wished for true love. Unable to create the love desired the genie fashioned a compass so he could seek out his true love instead. However, this story has never been confirmed and it is now more commonly believed that it was created by the true maker of the compass, The Dark One, who enchanted a trunk of compasses for reasons unknown. It is believed there are less than fifty in existence and for this reason the item is often considered priceless." _

Her heart had skipped a beat at that paragraph, she'd felt just as she had the day Ariel had delivered his message to her. She knew the reason he'd created a compass to lead him to his heart's desire and it was as if he was handing her the instructions that she needed to fulfill everything that he had planned. What he couldn't do, what he wasn't here to do, she'd would make possible. She didn't want to believe that he'd known about this, planned it this way the night he'd given her the key to this room. It was too overwhelming to believe that he knew Bae would go missing, that the curse would return them to this world, that he knew he was going to die...to much to believe he'd known it all was coming and hadn't warned her. She felt tears gathering in her eyes again and sniffed them back, violently wiping the tears on the backs of her hands. She wasn't ready to face a possibility like that. It would only make her angry at him and she wasn't ready to be upset with him like that...not yet. So instead she looked back down at the book and read the small section again, forcing herself to get back to work.

Less than fifty was a lot in a large realm, but in a small town she had no doubt there had to be a few around somewhere. And the best place to begin looking was in the house. So she tore it apart. She went through drawer after drawer, looked under all the beds, in all of the closets, around every corner,and in every nook and cranny that she'd explored since she had lived in this house and the few that she hadn't. In the attic she went through box after box of books, dusty and forgotten relics, and a couple old trunks. Despite her dislike of it she searched the basement top to bottom, pulled out every book, looked under the table, and pulled the shelves away from the walls to check for hiding spots. She even searched through the small desk that he kept in his office. There were official papers, maps, and the normal junk that she would have expected to find within it, but no compass, at least none that pointed anywhere but North.

When she was convinced that there wasn't anything in the house she'd quickly showered and dressed, applied the make-up she needed to hide the fact that she'd been awake all night, and drove into town. If there wasn't one in the house then the next best place to look was the shop. But the sheer amount of treasure he'd amassed over the years meant the shop was going to take a lot more time to search than the house was. Within the first hour she'd convinced herself that it might be impossible, that she might actually need a _Declinatio de Adpeto _just to find a _Declinatio de Adpeto_! But she refused to give up just because the task was difficult. There was one in the town, she knew there was! It was all that stood between her and Neal and she wouldn't rest until she had it.

Drawers. Shelves. Counters. Cabinets. Cases. Slowly was the trick. One section at a time, one corner, then another, then another, then the back room. She moved the furniture, opened every box, even found her cup and checked the hiding place that he'd used for Pandora's box. Nothing. She glanced around the shops back room, unable to think of anywhere else to look, doing her best to think. There had been no doubt in her mind that she'd find something here that she hadn't even thought about what she'd do if it wasn't here. But there had to be a way to find one. There had to be something!

There, on the counter. A black ledger that Mr. Gold had kept during the curse, when he really had been only a simple pawn shop owner. She opened it up and read the tidy scrawled handwriting, the handwriting of a man that had all the time in the world to write notes about what he'd sold and bought. Much different than the frantic handwriting she'd seen placed into his spell books. She felt her mind begin to work as another idea worked itself into her head. There would have been no better place for the _Declinatio de Adpeto _than inside this shop. Just because it wasn't here now, didn't mean it hadn't been when the curse was cast. Without magic, without the mind of Rumpelstiltskin a compass would have just been a compass. And it would have been possible for Mr. Gold to have sold it off without ever knowing what he'd really had.

Carefully she began going over it, page after page of notes, descriptions, prices, the places he was storing them, and other typical information for his meticulous records. Some of the items she recognized, a lot she didn't. She'd searched the shop high and low the last few days but after a while everything seemed to blend together. The shop had always seemed overwhelming, but she didn't know just how overwhelming, exactly what she'd missed, until she saw it all in writing like this. Was there really an oil lamp out in the cases? Curious she picked the ledger up and moved through the door way, locating the case to the door and peering in. Oil lamp! No. No, it was there of course, but she knew better. It wasn't an oil lamp, as Gold assumed, it was a genie's bottle, the same one she'd picked up that day at the castle, the one he'd told her not to shake around for fear they'd have a genie on their hands.

She smirked at the discovery. This could work. If Gold had labeled a genies bottle as an oil lamp then he very well could have labeled the _Declinattio de Adpeto _as a compass and sold it to someone. So, what else had he misnamed that might be of help? There was a note about a watch in one of the glass cases, maybe that-

She froze as she turned around. There was a woman in the shop. A woman with red hair she didn't recognize and certainly hadn't heard come in. Had she been so absorbed in reading that she'd missed the bell? She'd have to be more careful about that. But the woman acted as thought she didn't see her either, looking into the glass case in front of the room, inspecting the items with interest. It was an innocent gesture, something not completely out of place in a pawn shop, but it was his pawn shop, his items, and she felt strangely protective of everything in these walls.

"Uh," she cleared her throat to draw her attention away from whatever she was studying so carefully, successfully catching her eyes. "Can I, uh," she covered the case with the ledger and leaned in, safely hiding the items within the case away from her gaze, "can I help you?" It felt odd, to suddenly feel like she was a pawnbroker instead of a librarian, but no one was going to take anything out of this shop without her knowledge. It was just as much part of his legacy as Baelfire and Henry.

"Oh, you must be Mrs. Gold," the woman assumed with a happy smile. But it was her eager nod, the way her face just begged her to confirm the name that made her heart twist into knots so tight she wasn't sure it would ever beat properly again. Mrs. Gold. Mrs. Gold! It was strange how two words, one word and an abbreviation really, could turn her inside out, could transform her happy news and renewed spirit into tears so quickly. She felt as though she'd been punched in the gut and knocked off her feet.

"No, I'm, uh," she took a deep breath. What was she exactly? Girlfriend wasn't deep enough, it didn't hold the promise or enough weight to contain the bond they shared. They'd never been married, or engaged, but they'd talked about it once just after he'd gotten back from Neverland and things had still been perfect. Well, she'd talked, he'd listened. She'd suggested that she wanted another name, his name, that the future he wanted with her would naturally evolve into that…but she'd never actually tried out the name she'd desperately wanted. And she didn't know what that made her now that forever had ended. But she knew what it didn't make her. "No...I'm, uh, no-not!" she stuttered a little too loudly, losing control over her voice as she fought to hold her tears in.

Not Mrs. Gold. Not Sweetheart, or Darling, or even Beautiful Belle. Just...not.

"Oh," the woman exclaimed almost bashfully, "sorry, the sign said 'Mr. Gold's' and I just assumed..."

"Oh, that's..." words, she needed words. The woman wasn't trying to be hurtful, she just didn't understand. It was an honest mistake, but that didn't stop the twisting and turning her belly was doing with her words. "That's alright," she excused, waving the mistake off. It was better they get on with another conversation, the sooner they did she'd be gone. The sooner she was gone she could go back to looking for Neal. She might not have his name, but she would get his son back. "But unfortunately we are closed," she informed her.

The woman's face fell, disappointed at her words and she swallowed, trying to keep herself together just long enough to be polite. "But if you think you've lost something I'd be happy to take down a description and try and find it," she suggested. "Items seem to gravitate here during the curse." No doubt something he'd designed himself. With any lucky a certain compass would be here, or had been here at one time, too. "But, uh, nothing is actually for sale..." she amended quickly, not knowing what the strange woman was after. If it was a compass she couldn't, wouldn't, give it over yet. This shop was a treasure trove of resources and until she had what she needed, until Neal was back safe, nothing was going anywhere she couldn't keep her eye on it.

"Oh," the mused, looking around the shop sadly, making her belly twist more and more with each passing gaze. She knew, in her heart of hearts that not everything in the store belonged to him, but...in her mind it did belong to him. To get rid of any of it would be...getting rid of another little part of him, of herself. She couldn't do it. "That is a shame," the woman commented.

"Is Mr. Gold around?" she asked suddely, looking up at her with bright eyes, "maybe he can make an exception." This time it wasn't her belly that twisted with the words, at least not exclusively her belly. Her heart did too. It made her her think of the feeling she'd experienced with Ruby a few days ago. It made her wish the woman would leave, leave her alone and stay away from a topic that felt like it burned her lungs every time she opened her mouth to speak...because she had to speak.

"Uh, no, he, uh, he isn't," she tried to smile, to be polite and excuse her stutter.

"Oh...he's not one of the missing is he?!" the woman continued to question, twisting the knife painfully into her chest. "I'd heard people were being abducted!"

"Ah, no," she felt her body give a small laugh, a reflex to stop the tears she was trying to hold back as her heart hammered, but also because the idea of her Rumple being abducted was...still, abducted would have been better than... "He..." She knew she'd have to answer this sooner or later. Ruby hadn't known so she knew that others wouldn't know. She had to do it, to say the word. And she may as well get used to saying them because she was certain more people would come and ask with time. She took a deep breath, telling herself to just say them, get them out in the open. She might even feel better when she did.

"He died…" she finally stated, her voice wavering on the last word as she fought to hold in her tears. She was wrong. The words didn't make her feel better. They tasted like vinegar.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss…" the woman said sympathetically, but when she raised her eyes saw that her gaze was prompting her yet again. She wanted something to call her, something besides Mrs. Gold, a name that hurt more than Sweetheart or Darling put together because she honestly didn't know to expect it.

"Belle," she offered, placing a pen back in the jar just for an excuse to do something besides losing herself in front of this stranger who didn't even know that they hadn't been married…not legally at least.

"Belle," the woman repeated with a smile, "that's such a pretty name." Pretty. Like beautiful. "Beautiful Belle" the name he'd used to wake her up in the mornings. The womans comment was supposed to be comforting, but it wasn't, it just couldn't be. She found more pens to put away idly as she fought harder against her tears and tried not to wring her hands with anxiety. She hadn't planned for it, or expected it, maybe that was why it seemed to have snuck up on her and hit her so hard. Still not as hard as the day he'd gone away from her, but harder than it had been since she woke up to find him gone.

"I can tell you two were close," the woman commented in a way that begged her to confirm her suspicions. It only made her want to get her out of the shop faster. If she could tell they were close why was she doing this to her?

"Yeah, we uh," were close. Close? Did close describe it? Did close account for months of time? For days of wine and roses and nights of consuming kisses coupled with gentle touches? For the secrets? For the whispers? For the words? Was close a good word for it? No. But it certainly wasn't the worst she'd ever heard, and she honestly couldn't make her mind think enough at the moment to come up with something better. "We were," she informed her sadly. Would she leave now? Would she understand what her words were doing to her and leave?!

"I'm so sorry..." the woman reached forward suddenly and grabbed her hand, snatched it off the busy task she hadn't even been aware she was still doing, and held it as if they'd known each other for years instead of only minutes. And what she felt for the woman certainly wasn't friendly at the moment. Explainable because of what she was forcing her to feel, but still not her fault. All she honestly wanted was to move on from this conversation. "To bother you," she finally finished, going on, "but I was hoping to buy a baby gift for a lovely woman I met at Granny's diner." Her hand tightened around her own and she looked around the shop as if expecting to see someone, despite the fact that they were alone. "Maybe you know her she goes by Mary Margaret here."

She opened her mouth to say something but was still having trouble forming the words, still trying to put two and two together. The baby gift. Mary Margaret. She should have realized sooner than she did! She wasn't sure of anyone else in Storybrooke that was pregnant, although she was sure it was possible. If Mary Margaret could wake up nine months pregnant and she could misplace her grief, who knew what else had happened in that year that could turn up.

"See, I'm helping her with her pregnancy," the woman went on in her silence, "and today is my first day on the job, you know." She pulled her hand away and folded them nervously in front of her as she smiled awkwardly. "Curse or no curse," she sighed, "a girls got to work." It made sense. Her sudden motions, the insensitivity, the way she seemed to buzz with something. It was nerves. Nerves she could relate to. Nerves she could help settle. And at the moment, she'd rather settle nerves than talk about…what they'd been talking about.

"Mary Margaret," she smiled, relieved that she'd finally found her words. She hated to give anything of his away, but at least she'd know where this was going and she knew that if it was required for something, if there was something special about it, then Mary Margaret would return it to her quickly. And if this would get the woman to finally leave...so be it. "Well, why didn't you say so! I think..." she glanced behind her at a shelf she'd gone through that morning searching for the compass. There was something there that would be harmless enough. "I think I may have just the thing!"

"Bless you!" the woman smiled excitedly.

She turned around, looking for the place that she'd put the item...everything seemed to have moved twenty times in the last twenty-four hours, but after a moment, she found it, resting on the shelf right where she'd replaced it. She snatched the baby's rattle up gently and took it back to the woman waiting for her. "Here," she offered.

"Oh!" the woman gushed taking it from her and making a delicate tinkling sound that made her think of a rattle she'd owned as a baby. Handing it over didn't hurt nearly as much as she expected it would. It was just a rattle. It was a rattle that certainly had no magical properties, would get the woman out of her shop-his shop, and if it turned out to be important in some way, at least she'd know where to find. "Oh it's darling!" the woman exclaimed happily. "Absolutely perfect!"

"Good," she commented. That meant she'd leave and let her cry, nurse her reopened wounds, before Ruby came over.

"How much do I owe you?" the woman questioned with a smile.

"Oh!" Money. Right, there was money involved in this business. He'd told her that once and so did Lacey's memories but she had no training to assess value! Neither did he but at least his cursed self thought he did! Then again, she was giving it under the hope that if she ever needed it Mary Margaret would give it back to her. That wasn't exactly a transaction...it was more like a childish loan! "Consider it a gift...for luck," she lied to the unknown woman. It wasn't so much for her as it was for Mary Margaret and if, on the off chance, she ever did need it back she'd be sure to replace it. A gift was a suitable way to look at it.

"Oh, you're very kind, Belle," the woman commented.

"It's my pleasure," she said, swallowing back her tears and forcing a smile as she thought about the compliment. She was kind. But she'd rather be Sweetheart.

But it wasn't to be. And this woman...this woman didn't know that. The way she'd talked to her, assuming she was...she was his... The way he hadn't known about their relationship, or that Rumple had gone...she hadn't been in Storybrooke before. The people that lived in the woods, the ones Ruby had told her about that didn't have houses. She put it together, though she didn't understand it. There were people here in Storybrooke that hadn't been here the first time around! She didn't know how that was possible but this wasn't the womans fault, she hadn't meant to make her relive the horrible feelings she felt when he'd died. She just...it wasn't her fault.

"And, ah, welcome to Storybrooke," she managed happily, greeting her as she would have wanted to be greeted the day she'd emerged from the asylum.

"Thank you...I really think I'm going to love it here!" the woman muttered with a happy smile. She glanced down at the rattle and beamed, holding it in front of her and giving a little shake as she laughed.

She glanced behind her, at a clock, noticing what time it was and that Ruby was due soon. She didn't need the woman to overhear their plans, she didn't need to have the woman's comments in her head or to break into tears in front of Ruby during their search. She just needed to get her out, cry over the future and the man she'd lost, then put herself together to find his son. Because Neal was the only future she had with him now.

"Oh! You'd better go!" she suggested, pointing at the clock. "You wouldn't want to be late."


	11. Something in the Air

She was running late…and today was not the day to be late. She had found two records of compasses that Mr. Gold had sold before the curse broke and though she didn't know who the people were exactly, Ruby said that she did and they'd made a plan before she went home yesterday. Ruby, ever the true friend, promised to take the morning off and the pair of them would locate the sold compasses to see if either of them were the _Declinatio de Adpeto._ If they were she would hope that whoever had bought them would allow her to use them and with any luck she'd be one step closer to finding Neal by the end of the day.

She should have been on her way to the shop five minutes ago, but she'd gotten sidetracked, just as she had yesterday. She'd gone to this jewelry box every day since he'd been gone, every day since she remembered and plucked a simple gold band out of the mess and placed it on her finger, the right, not the left. She'd started doing it when he was in Neverland because it reminded her of him, of the gold ring that he wore on the identical finger, but today she found herself staring down at it, remembering the strange encounter she'd had yesterday…and a conversation they'd once had under night's cloak of darkness.

The woman's comment had thrown her. It had hit her as if she'd been punched in the gut. She'd been expecting to have to tell people that he was dead, to have to explain to herself that despite what she felt he wasn't coming back for her, but she hadn't expected to explain to someone that the future she'd once envisioned with him was dead as well.

Mrs. Gold. Belle Gold. Funny how a simple name could make her gut twist into knots. Her father's name here was Moe French and Lacey's memories of how the world worked told her that her name here should be Belle French, Rumple had as much as told her so the night he returned from Neverland, but in all honesty she'd never actually thought of herself as having a last name, a family name. In her mind a family name required a person to have a family, something her father hadn't tried to give her in Storybrooke. He'd tried to take her memories away from her! Thinking of herself as Belle French only left a sour taste in her mouth. The world might see her as Belle French, but to him...to herself, she was Belle. Just Belle and nothing more. But Belle Gold. Belle Gold! She'd told him she wanted the name but never actually tried it on! And it felt...it felt...right.

It felt right. It sounded right. They never had anything official, no paper work, no vows, no announcements, but they'd never needed it in her opinion. She was walking around now as if she was a widow, no one objected to the way she'd been staying in his house, or at the shop, or using the car as if it belonged to her. She wasn't Belle Gold, but she felt like she may as well have been.

She stared down at the ring she was spinning around on her finger and shook her head. The ring could stay, he hadn't given it to her, but it was a memorial to what would have been. That future was dead. It had died before it even got the chance to live, he'd taken it with him. The only future she had now was one without him, she didn't know how she was going to survive it, but for now she knew where it had to begin. Neal. Neal was what she had left and sitting here staring at the ring she had on her finger wasn't going to get her any closer to him. She'd wasted enough time, she was late, and she needed to find that compass!

So she found the names of the people that she and Ruby needed to locate today, grabbed her bag, opened the door, and nearly ran into David standing on her porch, his arm raised to knock. "David!" she breathed, trying to recover from the shock of finding him there. Not once since she'd lived in this house had anyone visited, then this week she'd gotten visits from both Ruby and David?! And Mary Margaret, apparently. She wasn't on the porch but she could see David's red truck parked on the street, still running with Mary Margaret inside. She was talking on the phone with someone but also watching the two of them with careful eyes. No, not them. The empty space behind her, the house's hallway. But it wasn't like Ruby's curiosity at never having seen the house before. It was something more than that. Something she couldn't identify, something that made her nervous and need to look behind her to make sure no one was standing behind her. It was empty. What was going on?

"What?" she sighed looking back at David, who was just as surprised as she was, but his look was quickly fading into worry. "What's going on?" she asked eagerly. Neal. Had someone found him?! Did they know where he was?! "Is Neal-"

"No!" David gasped, "no, nothing like that." Her heart should have slowed down knowing that everything was alright but it didn't, not when she caught David glancing around her as Mary Margaret was, into the empty house as if he kept expecting to see someone standing there behind her. That wasn't normal!

"What's going on?" she asked, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind her. The constant gazing inside their home was making her uneasy. They'd both liked a private life and she didn't want to put it on unnecessary display for them now!

"Um," David gave a long sigh, and glanced around the porch, as if he'd find the words he was supposed to say written down for him somewhere. "Granny told us you were living here now."

And that didn't answer her question. It told her that they were looking for her and who exactly had informed them that she was there, but it didn't answer why they'd come to the house in the first place, or why they would have been looking for her. And the way he was averting his eyes, looking around, and trying to come up with answers that didn't tell her what she needed to know told her something very important. He was avoiding telling her something. Why would he come to her house, why would he be looking for her but not want to tell her why? What was going on?

"Why are you here, exactly?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm just," he shook his head as his eyes widened a bit with fear, "I'm just checking on you." He was a bad liar, or a really poor planner for not thinking that she would ask these questions and have answers ready for her. Fortunately she was an expert at sniffing out lies and she knew the look required to get them to shift into truths. It was simply a stare. An unnerving, questioning stare that told the liar she didn't believe a word that they'd said. If it worked on a man like Rumpelstiltskin, then someone like David didn't stand a chance and after a few seconds of exchanged glances he gave a sigh of surrender. "Have you had any visitors lately?"

Visitors? He'd come all this way to ask if anyone had visited her? "Besides you and Ruby? No one," she concluded feeling more confused than anything. "Why?"

"No one has stopped by, come looking for you, no one has been in the house or the store while you haven't been there?"

"No," she answered her stomach beginning to tighten. She didn't like the direction this conversation was taking and she certainly didn't like that he wasn't answering her one most basic question. "Why?" she repeated. "What's going on?"

"Have you been to the shop yet today?"

"No. No, I haven't. I was just on my way out and I'd appreciate if you'd tell me-" but before she could finish the sentence David's phone rang and reached too eagerly into his pocket to grab it.

"Emma," he sighed, almost relieved, then turned and began walking back to his parked truck. "No, we're all clear here," she heard him say, "Hook should still be waiting at the shop. Did you find anything at the-" but what Emma was looking for or where she was searching she never found out because the sound of the slamming door cut him off, leaving her without any indication of what was really going on.

Her mind tried to pick apart his words, to figure out what she could as she watched the red truck drive off into the distance as though it was completely normal. David and Mary Margaret had come to "check" on her, to see if she'd had any visitors. Emma was also searching for something at some unknown location. And Hook was…she felt her eyes widen as she tripped over an unsettling fact. Hook was supposed to be waiting at "the shop." His shop? Hers?!

No!

Suddenly that feeling of over protection overwhelmed her. She'd worked on the same side as the pirate while they were dealing with Pan, but that felt like a lifetime ago. There had been extenuating circumstances then and in all honesty it wasn't as if they'd really had to work together! She still hadn't forgotten the time that he'd robbed from them when he'd shot her, especially now, knowing just how little they'd had left after that. They might not have been actively trying to kill each other, but she knew that Hook was the last person that he'd want anywhere near his shop…especially unsupervised.

So she turned to lock the door behind her and sped off down the street after David and Mary Margaret, to the store, hoping that she was wrong that David had been talking about some other "store". But as she stopped at one of the two red lights the small town featured, her phone suddenly let out a chirp, the one that reminded her she had a text message. It was from Ruby, and the words made her blood run cold. _Mary Margaret called me. I assume the search for today is postponed. Do you need to talk?_ There was no doubt in her mind. There was something going on and the "store" that David had been talking about was hers. The black duster the pirate still insisted on wearing as he spoke with David and Mary Margaret made that abundantly clear.

"What is going on?!" she asked when she finally parked the car and marched over to the small group.

David stepped forward and opened his mouth to say something when she heard Emma call out from behind her, "The store, we need you to open it!" She turned to see the woman hurrying toward her, looking desperate, just as her father had.

"Why?" she questioned, angrily. She was really getting sick of asking this question.

"Emma, did you check the cabin?" Mary Margaret asked as her jaw dropped.

"The cabin?" There was only one cabin that she knew of in town. Their cabin. That's where she'd been! "You were at the cabin too?!"

"It was empty," Emma went on as if she hadn't said anything. "Hook?"

Hook motioned to the door behind his back. "If there is anyone inside they are being incredibly still." The cabin. The house. The store. She felt an irritated anger rise somewhere in the pit of her stomach, it was the place that she usually managed to contain Lacey's emotions, but as they continued to talk over her, not with her or even at her, she felt her control slip away. No memories, no Neal, no Rumpelstiltskin, no answers...she could feel it all boiling over at once. What was going on and why the hell wasn't anyone telling her what she wanted to know?!

"Stop!" she yelled as their conversation suddenly veered toward why Mary Margaret was with David instead of at home. Her sudden outburst managed to quiet them, making them look at her as if they'd only just remembered that she was there. Her jaw clenched as she looked around the small group of people surrounding her. She was tired. Tired of not finding Neal. Tired of not knowing what was happening. Tired of always being the last to know anything. And tired of everyone lying to her when clearly there was something happening that concerned her! "I'm not going to open that door," she stated clearly, "until somebody tells me what is happening! Why were you at my house? At our cabin?! What…who are you looking for?!" she amended, recalling that David had inquired not about an object but about visitors.

No. Not visitors, just a visitor. Which meant they weren't just looking for anyone, but someone specific. She watched as everyone around her began to exchange glances with each other again nervously, once again wondering what to say to her. "Belle," David breathed stepping forward, his face softening with something like guilt and sympathy. "Please, we're going to let you know-"

"But we need you to let us into Gold's first," Emma insisted. She opened her mouth to object, to say that wasn't the deal that they'd made when she was suddenly struck by how much that would have sounded like him, making deals. She'd learned once long ago from him that when it came to the greater good the promise of information was better than nothing. And with the determination on their face, she felt her resistance waver. They weren't going to tell her anything standing here on the street and if there was something in the shop then it was better they check it out before someone got hurt. Until she opened the door, this was a losing battle.

With an unhappy sigh she turned, unlocked the door, pushed it open, and stood back as Emma and David drew their guns and Hook his sword as they marched inside...leaving her standing angrily outside.


	12. A Reason to Live

As much as she objected to letting them into the shop and wanted to follow them inside, she knew better. Mary Margaret wasn't just staying outside because she wanted to, or because she was pregnant, she was doing it to keep her outside. If there was someone in the shop, she didn't know who it was or what they were capable of, she was unarmed, and she'd be more than useless if she went in. She'd be in the way. So the women waited outside in tense silence, Mary Margaret casting her strange sympathetic glances every few seconds as she fumed, waiting. The woman wanted to tell her something, to explain what was going on, but it was easy to see that she was worried about what was going on around her. When she wasn't just looking at her, she was looking around, up and down the street, as if she expected to see someone charge them any second.

"It's empty," David finally stated poking his head out the door. "He's not here and neither is she." She? He? They were looking for two people?! Why would they be in the shop or the house? They certainly couldn't have been looking for her, which meant they were looking for something. Suddenly she was very happy that she'd been keeping the basement under lock and key, that the protection spell still worked, but she was still confused and without answers.

As if he read her mind David held the door open for the two women and motioned them inside. "Is someone going to tell me what this is all about?" she questioned the moment David closed the door behind his wife.

"There's something you need to know," Emma stated. Obviously there was something she needed to know or else she wouldn't be here! Or at the house that morning...or the cabin!

"Does it have something to do with why you were at my house this morning?"

"Yeah," David stepped forward and pulled something shiny out of his pocket. "I don't suppose you know what this is, or have an explanation for it." She plucked the object from his hand with a frustrated sigh. Answering her questions with more questions wasn't exactly giving her an explanation! And neither was handing her… a golden branch?!

No.

Not a branch.

Her heart stopped and she suddenly felt the blood drain from her body. She was light-headed and she felt as though the room was spinning as she stared at the object. No, it wasn't possible! Was it? Despite the fact that the world seemed to have turned upside-down she managed to stride into the back room with determination, forgetting that she wasn't alone in the shop. It couldn't be, it just couldn't. Could it?

She dropped onto one of the stools by the table and picked up a magnifying glass. It shook in her hands as she looked the item over.

No. Not a branch, not a branch at all. It was a piece of straw.

And it was solid gold.

She practically broke the magnifying glass when she dropped it. Her mind seemed to move slowly as she stared at the object, only capable of making sense out of one thing at a time. Golden straw. Straw into gold. It wasn't the usual straw into gold thread, but she had seen golden straw like this before. In his tower, the one he used for a work room in the castle, a small pile of twig like looking gold just like this that she'd always assumed he needed for some reason or another. It was there in the basement too! She'd placed one of the twigs back into the little vile he had for it!

Her mouth felt dry as she looked up to find that she wasn't in the back room alone. The others had joined her and were watching her with intense curiosity and apprehension. They looked like they were waiting for her to crack and it was no wonder, she was crying. She hadn't noticed it before but now that she was aware of the world outside this single piece of gold she could feel tears sliding slowly down her cheeks. "Where," she swallowed and wiped her face, giving her voice a chance to be more than a whisper. "Where did you get this?"

Emma let out a noise that was part groan part disbelieve. "I don't suppose you've ever heard of the Wicked Witch of the West?" it wasn't a question but it wasn't a statement either. It was the voice of someone who only barely believed what she was asking, who still couldn't comprehend the words coming out of her own mouth.

"From Oz?" she clarified. Emma might have trouble believing it but she knew better. A town like this? Anything was possible. Any of the books she had in her library, any of the lands that she'd read about, could be more than fiction. If Peter Pan could be real then Oz could be too.

"Yeah," David clarified. "She's the one that cursed us, the one that sent us here."

"The Witch of the West?!" she questioned. As far as she knew the witch was in Oz. What would she want with anyone from the Enchanted Forest? What would she want with the curse?! And what did the piece of golden straw in her hand mean?! "Who is she? What does _this_ have to do with her?!" she asked holding the straw up.

"We're not sure who she is yet," Emma answered in a gentle tone. "But we figured out where she lives."

"And this?" she asked, no longer patient enough to wait for the answers. She felt as though she could barely breathe as she looked at this one silly little piece of straw that she felt her life was revolving around.

"The witch wasn't there," David answered, "but there was a cellar. Inside we found…a cage. Inside the cage there was gold straw...and a spinning wheel."

"A cage?" she questioned, trying to get her brain to form a complete thought that would be helpful instead of just a useless echo of what they were telling her. A cage? A prison? With a spinning wheel. To spin wool into thread. Or straw into gold. A cage?!

"It was empty, the lock broken..." she heard David sigh but couldn't take her eyes off the item in her hand. Gold or not, with each new detail it was suddenly becoming the most precious and valuable thing she'd ever seen. And slowly, one thud at a time, she felt her heart start to beat again. "Regina said she could feel dark magic." She nearly broke at the words.

"So, so Rumple's alive?!" she concluded for David, letting out a small disbelieving, but happy noise. She shouldn't jump to conclusions, seeing should have been believing but it never had been with him. She didn't need the words, the proof she needed wasn't what she held in her hands. It was what she felt. What she'd been feeling!

Her thoughts didn't surprise her. Not even a little. They thrilled her, made her happy and hopeful beyond belief but she couldn't say that the truth shocked her. She should have guessed, she should have known from the moment that she first woke up and didn't feel right! From the moment she'd confessed it to Ruby and she'd asked if it meant anything. It meant everything! She'd missed him, she missed him now, but she hadn't felt the way that she did when he'd died for a reason.

He wasn't dead.

He was alive. And that was why she felt alive.

She shook her head as she continued to stare at the object. "How is that even possible?" she questioned aloud.

"We were hoping you might be able to tell us that," Emma commented. He was alive. It was the only logical conclusion and she knew it was true with or without the words. There was no doubt in her mind. It wasn't a question. It was fact. But she didn't know how or why or what it was that had brought him back to life! She'd seen that dagger, she'd felt him die! As far as she knew he should be dead! So why wasn't he? She glanced over at Emma, sad she had nothing to offer but still everything to be gained. "You know him and this shop better than anyone," Emma went on. "If he's in Storybrooke there has to be a clue in here about how he got back or, or, how we can find him now that he is!"

"Yeah," she nodded in agreement, "I'll, uh, I'll start looking right away." Emma was right. Magic like that, powerful dark magic that it would have required, he certainly would have been the only one to own those spell books. Had the answer been staring her in the face all this time? Waiting for her here or in the basement as she'd wasted precious time on that silly compass?!

"Keep your eyes out for him too," David reminded her. "If he comes into town, he'll-"

"He'll come to me," she smiled, fighting back tears because suddenly she felt the days melt away and it was as though nothing at changed. "Yeah, I know." Baelfire was missing, he had no way of knowing that Henry was in town, and unless he was in danger in some way she couldn't think of any reason why he'd go to him. She was the only one that he'd want. It was a mystery to her why he hadn't come back to her already! Yet another part of all this that she just couldn't make sense of. He'd been in a cage. A cage! Like a common prisoner, but he wasn't just common. Regina had sensed dark magic at the place he was being kept, why hadn't he used it before? Why wasn't he using it now. Why was he simply missing instead of using it to appear before them now in a puff of smoke like she knew that he could? She knew that this was strange, but something about it just didn't feel right. There was something else going on.

"I will stay here with you," she felt her stomach drop as every happy feeling she'd had disappeared when she glanced over at Hook. Him? Hook! Hook was volunteering to stay with her?! "I'm surprisingly good at research," he added with a forced smile. No, not volunteering, he'd was being volunteered. It had been someone else's idea to leave him here with her. She didn't know who'd come up with that idea but it was the worst one she'd ever heard! Outrageous really!

"You," she clarified, hoping she'd heard something wrong, trying not to laugh too hard at the idea, "will stay with me?!" He offered a look that was not reassuring at all, but merely confirmation of the absurd suggestion. He didn't like it either. So why was he doing it?!

"He'll protect you if the witch comes," Emma commented. The witch. She hadn't even known about the witch until a few moment's ago, whatever she wanted with Rumple she'd left her alone! Between facing an unknown witch inside Gold's shop or being trapped in it with Hook, she'd rather take the witch!

"You do know he tried to kill me!" she pointed out.

"Well, there were extenuating circumstances." Extenuating circumstances lasting decades!

"Twice," she reminded him. There were no "extenuating circumstances" it had been cold heartless revenge! And they wanted to leave her alone with him inside her shop, in his shop! It was a good thing he wasn't dead because he'd roll over in his grave at the thought.

"Sorry?" Hook questioned. It wasn't an apology. He'd need remorse for that and there was clearly none in his gaze. He might not have succeeded in killing her but she could see that he didn't regret a minute of the pain he'd cause the two of them in his actions. A shallow "sorry" wasn't going to fix that.

"You really know how to charm a girl, don't you?" Emma commented behind her, speaking the words she would have said...only a lot more nicely than she would have said them. If it was her, she would have dipped into Lacey's vocabulary.

"This will be my way of making it up to you," Hook insisted through that same unhappy forced smile. He could make it up to her by getting out of the shop and promising to leave them alone once Rumple came back to her. But Rumple wasn't back yet. He would protect her just as he always had when he got back, he'd be furious to find Hook in his shop…but at least she'd be alive. They both would be so long as Hook didn't decide to kill her first. But he wouldn't do that.

She caught the way that Hook kept throwing glances at Emma, the comment he'd made to her that night at the grave about his heart, the way Neal had reacted to it...jealousy. He saw the pirate as competition! He was trying to impress her. Court her even! The thought was laughable! He'd run off with Neal's mother now he was chasing the mother of his son! It made her skin crawl! But...she knew that killing the woman that she wanted him to protect was a poor way to get in Emma's good graces. And if he tried anything, at least there was a room full of witnesses, placing him at the scene of the crime.

She swallowed, hating the arrangement, hating the word she was about to say, but understanding the need for it all the same. "Fine," she muttered. It wasn't ideal but it was an arrangement that would keep her alive. And if Rumple was alive, if he was on his way back to her, then finding Neal wasn't just her only reason to be safe. Their future wasn't dead, he was alive, he'd come back for her, they'd find Neal together. It was reason enough to live.


	13. A Delicate Resolution

"Alright we should really get out into the woods," Emma insisted, picking up on the cue to go before either she or Hook changed their minds.

"Hey, maybe you should stay home," she glanced over to see David exchanging a worried look with Mary Margaret. She turned her back, choosing to examine the straw that had given her more hope than she'd ever thought possible rather than eavesdrop on the Charming family. Especially when, given Mary Margaret's new size, she agreed with David.

"Me?!" she questioned. "I'm the best tracker here!"

"I, I know," David insisted, "but we'll manage. Remember what Zelena said, you need your rest." Zelena? Who was Zelena? Oh, the woman. The woman that had been by yesterday and said she was helping Mary Margaret with her baby. Her name must have been Zelena.

"Belle," she turned to see Emma still in the back room as her parents had left. "Thank you for your help," she stated. "Don't worry, we're going to find him."

"Okay," she muttered, suddenly feeling like she should have felt more worried than she actually was. It was hard to feel anything other than joy, knowing that he was out there somewhere, alive. But so was the witch, and as it was he hadn't come right back to her when he'd been freed. Worried should be what she was feeling. There was more than enough to be worried about. "Thank you," she smiled reaching out for Emma's hand and giving it a friendly squeeze. There was plenty to worry about, but they'd get him back. Or he'd come back to her. She was sure of it. Frankly, the only thing making her stomach turn at the moment was staring her straight in the face.

Hook.

The moment she heard that bell chime their departure and they were alone, the room instantly felt too small. She stared up at the tall man dressed in black and couldn't help that her stare turned into a glare. He was here. She couldn't stop it but she didn't have to like it. And she certainly didn't have to acknowledge him. For her own sake, and for Rumple's, she turned away and toward the task at hand. The spell books, the ones that she'd been using to help her her search for Neal days ago now served a new purpose. She began to go through them, to try and find an explanation, a theory, anything to explain what had happened! But she found nothing. Book after book after book. Nothing. She widened her search, every story had a small grain of truth to it, in this case she'd take a fairy tale, a myth, even a ghost story just a small inkling to suggest how the Dark One had managed to return from death, how he had come back from the one thing that should have been able to kill him.

Nothing. The books barely mentioned him, and when they did it was in passing. The Dark One was responsible for creating this, or The Dark One spent centuries crafting that, The only one to ever safely and correctly master this spell or that potion is the Dark One…. She slammed the last one closed and looked around. There had to be something somewhere. It wasn't possible that a witch from Oz could figure out how to outsmart the Dark One all on her own. She sighed as she spotted another few books she'd missed sitting on a top shelf. It was a long shot, but it was something. Better than the useless pacing and curious glances Hook was throwing around the shop.

She didn't like it. It would have been irritating if it was anyone, but it was Hook! He was as antsy as a tiger in a cage, something she knew amply about as she'd been in too many cages to count! And the flapping of the cloak with each turn, the creak of the wooden floor...it was driving her absolutely mad!

"Don't sit there," she ordered, when she watched him bend his knees to rest on the cot. He sighed and cast her an annoyed glance, but honored the request and moved away. It was childish, she knew. There was more going on here than just her and Hook, she'd managed to remember that once before, but she'd never had to let him into their private space or deal with him all on her own! She'd let him stay to "protect her", but as far as she was concerned that was about as cordial she was going to get. And she'd let him sit on their cot over her dead body.

"You know," he muttered finally, "perhaps I could be of more assistance if you actually let me help you." She raised an eye-brow and glared. Hook, help her?! The last time he'd helped her she'd ended up unconscious in her cell chained to the bed. "I am here to help after all," he added as she turned back to the book she'd been paging through.

"Like you helped me out of my cell in the tower or over the town line?" she questioned. Hook opened his mouth but quickly closed it again as a sly smile spread over his face. Speechless. That was just fine with her. "And you're here because Emma wants you to be," she informed him, glancing back down at the book before her just for an excuse not to look at him, "not because you can help or protect me, not that you would if you could."

"Ah," he breathed, "now that's where you'd be wrong, love."

"Don't call me that," she corrected sharply. She didn't care if it was a turn of phrase, she didn't want it spoken about her. "And I don't know what you could possibly help me with...last I heard pirates weren't exactly known for their literacy."

"Well for starters," he sighed ignoring her comment, "I hear you've been looking for Baelfire, Neal."

Her head snapped up at his words. He'd caught her attention and she wished she hadn't been so obvious about it. That smug look on his face only made her want to clench her jaw together and keep quiet. But she couldn't, for Neal's sake, for hers, for Rumple's as well. "Where did you hear that?" she asked quietly, uselessly intrigued.

"Word gets around whether you are on a small ship or in a small town," he answered in a cocky voice. "Have you had any luck in finding the boy?"

She paused, unhappy at the answer she'd have to give. She'd had a plan but obviously the search for the item to help search for Neal had to be put on hold. "No," she admitted. The room suddenly seemed to have gotten far too quiet, she felt as though she could hear her heart racing at the anticipation of what he'd say. Was it possible to find Neal and discover Rumple was alive all in the same day? She hated to ask for help, to use Hook for anything more than she had to, but this was about Neal, Rumple's son. If he knew something then she owed it to Rumple to find out what it was and if it would be significant in the search. What exactly did the pirate know? "I don't suppose you have any information that I could use to find him?"

"If I had any pertinent information then I wouldn't need to be asking you, would I?" she shook her head and let out a snort as she turned back to her book to ignore him again. She didn't know what bothered her more, that he'd gotten her hopes up knowing he would crush them or that she'd let herself believe Hook could be helpful. "But I would like to offer my services to help find him, in any form that you should need." Nothing. More help. Help like he was helping now. She could live without it. And with Rumple alive, with him on his way back to her, there was no reason for Hook to be concerned with Neal. They'd find him together. He'd done it once before, he could do it again, this time with her by his side.

"He's Rumple's son," she concluded without a thought, closing her book, and glancing around for the step stool to reach those other books. "He's my concern not yours. I'll find him."

But as she turned to move the stool that she'd located she suddenly felt the thin metal of his Hook wrapped around her elbow. Her heart hammered as she did her best to move away from the man, frustrated that she hadn't been listening for him to move better than she had been. No matter why he was here, Hook was first and foremost a threat. "Don't let your excitement make you forget. Baelfire was the son of the Dark One, it's true," he hissed through clenched teeth. "But there was another person in that equation as well. He was just as much the son of Milah as he was the son of the Dark One."

"She left him," she reminded the pirate as she finally managed to pull her arm free of the sharp metal.

"And she regretted it every night thereafter! More so after she discovered what became of the boy," she could think of a million reasons, responses, sentences she'd like to throw back to the pirate. But she couldn't. The voice in her head, the one that had reminded him in the first place that Milah had left Rumple and her son, was a tricky devil. It sounded like her, but it wasn't her own. It was Lacey's voice, her boldness, her unsympathetic demeanor. The stress of having Hook around, the powerlessness to make him leave, her over protective nature toward Rumple and his son, at some point during the conversation Lacey had pushed her aside and taken over. The realization was like being doused in cold water.

She couldn't blame Hook for Lacey completely, but his actions had certainly helped contribute to the path she'd taken to get there. She wasn't going to allow anyone, least of all Hook, to get to her in that way ever again. She wouldn't allow Lacey to take away her emotions, her compassion again. Even the little that she possessed somewhere for Hook and Milah...because whether or not she liked it, she did have compassion for them. It wasn't a lot, but it was there.

"Rumpelstiltskin is not the only one capable of making mistakes and living to regret them afterwards," Hook insisted.

She wouldn't say she was sorry, she couldn't. If she was sorry for what had happened then she'd have to be sorry that he ever ended up in her life and she just couldn't bring herself to do that. It wasn't Lacey's selfishness, that was her own. She needed him like she needed air in her lungs and didn't want to even imagine what her life would have been like had he never showed up to take her away from her former life. But now that she'd felt the physical pain of losing him, whether it was recent or not, she couldn't say that she didn't feel sorry for what the pirate had gone through with Rumple and Milah. The conclusion was the same as it had been when she and Rumple had arrived back in this shop what felt like ages ago, after they'd gotten the shawl back and left Hook a bloodied mess on his ship. The entire situation was a mess, and there was no way to clean it up.

But there was a way to move forward, to accept what it was, acknowledge what had happened, and move on with their lives. She'd never be friends with Hook. Never. But that didn't mean that she had to be part of the feud, standing opposite him on the other side of a clear line. There was no clear line, it was blurred, and as much as it soured her stomach to admit it, Hook was right in a strange way. Probably not in the way that he'd meant to be, but he'd made a good point. She was connected to Hook through Baelfire. And the truth was that he had about as much claim to Neal through Milah as she did through Rumple. Remembering that might be the best place to start working around the mess their lovers had created for them.

"You can 'assist' me by helping me with these books," she concluded coldly, ignoring the way his angry face was fading into shock. Instead she left him there, moved the step stool over to the shelf with the books and climbed up before looking back at the man, expectantly. She'd done what she could, extended a hand, despite the churn it caused in her gut. The rest was up to him. There were two choices. He could take her up on her offer, put the conversation they'd just had behind them, and she could go back to work. Or he couldn't, he could continue to pace nervously, and ignore her while she went back to work. Either way at the end of the day there was still more than the two of them going on, and one way or another she would find her answers!

Suddenly the pirate gave a heavy sigh, then turned and offered another of those false sarcastic smiles. "It would be my pleasure," he lied gallantly.


	14. Questions Without Answers

He was still lying. They both knew it. But in some way they were both lying to each other in pretending to be fine with this arrangement.

They'd come to a stalemate, the place where they could tolerate being in the same room as one another but still weren't thrilled about it. It wasn't his pleasure to take the books that she handed down to him. He'd rather be off with Emma, hunting down the witch, than here in this shop. And she'd rather be here alone, stepping on and off the step stool a million times as she worked, than handing him books. But it was what it was. For now they'd have to live with it, knowing that it wouldn't last forever. Emma would return and collect Hook, they'd go off in search of the witch. Rumple was alive. He'd come back to her, he'd find her, and they would go on with their life. He'd explain what exactly had happened to him. They'd find Neal. She'd rely on him for protection as she always had, just as he'd learned to rely on her. It was only a matter of time.

"Ah, watch the cover on that one," she muttered passing him another and observing it's delicate neglected state.

"Dealing with a hook, here," Hook pointed out inanely. She couldn't stop the shake of her head, but did manage not to roll her eyes at him. She knew he was "working with a hook." That was no reason why he couldn't be careful. He'd learned to wear the thing without stabbing everything in sight, surely he could manage to keep a book cover intact!

Suddenly a sound drew her attention away from the shelf of books and out into the main room. Emma was right, she did know this shop, and she knew what that sound was. Blinds, slapping against the side door. The only way that was possible was if someone was trying to open it. She gasped and her mouth went dry with excitement. It was only a matter of time, indeed.

"It's him!" she stated climbing off the stool, carefully but quickly. "It's, it's Rumple!" she exclaimed before dashing out into the room to find him. She glanced at the front door, assuming he'd go there when he realized the other was blocked off. But no one came through, and then…there! The side door was shoved open a few more inches! Her brain barely had time to register that it wasn't right, that he never used that door and didn't understand why he would now, before it happened again. Rumple fought to open the thing despite the file boxes she'd stacked there during the week.

She took a step forward to help but the sudden appearance of a blade stopped her. Hook. In the room with her. Sword drawn, ready to strike as promised. It gave her enough sense to wait through the next shove. It wasn't like him to use the side door. So maybe it wasn't him. Maybe she hadn't paid enough attention to the fact that the witch might be looking for Rumple just as Emma and David were now. Another shove. She'd be the first place anyone would look, just as they had this morning. Another shove and she held her breath as the door opened and someone fell forward, collapsing into a heap on the floor, clearly unconscious.

It wasn't Rumpelstiltskin. But it wasn't the witch either, whoever she was. It was a man. It was…

Neal!

She ran forward, gasping at the feeling that suddenly overwhelmed her. A strange mix of fear and joy, protection and concern. And completeness. Why would she feel that?! She didn't know she'd been close enough to him to feel something like that for him. But he was here! Right here in the shop! She'd been looking for him for days and now, today of all days, he was suddenly here before her! Completely unconscious. "Neal!" she called, sinking down next to him and giving him a small shake as she attempted to revive him. "Neal?!" she pushed the hair out of her way but saw that his eyes didn't even flutter. He was here but something was wrong, something was very wrong!

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" the pirate asked moving closer. She shook her head as she looked him over. No blood. No bruises. Nothing looked broken. But…there on his hand, a strange scar, a burn almost, that she'd never seen before stared back at her. It wasn't natural. A perfect triangle like that didn't just form out of the blue. Magic? Did it have something to do with where he'd been?! Where the others in town had been? Or Rumple?

"No," she concluded. She didn't know what was wrong with him exactly, just that something was. "Neal! Neal wake up!" she tried again. But still nothing. She didn't know if the triangle was responsible for this, but she did know they weren't going to get any answers if he couldn't wake up to talk. She didn't care how she hated it, or how the place made her stomach do unnerving somersaults, she had to call an ambulance, they had to get him to the hospital! They'd be able to help him there.

There was a flurry of activity that happened so fast it seemed to be happening all at once. The research she'd promised to do, looking through books, Hook in Rumple's shop, it was all forgotten as Neal and his present condition suddenly took up every bit of concentration that she needed. An ambulance was called, Emma and David after that. Both of them were in utter disbelief but promised to meet her at the hospital as soon as they could get there. Hook followed Neal into the back of the ambulance, after everything that had happened she couldn't fight him on it. He was a pirate, he had a ship not a car, and the only other option was for her to drive him there in Rumple's car and she had to draw the line somewhere!

Then, before she knew it, she was there. White rooms. Cold faces. Bad memories. She'd been here earlier in the week asking about Neal, but she'd had something to do then, a goal! Get in, ask about Neal, leave. It had been simple, clear cut with an end in sight. Now she had no plan, no control, no answers and the place seemed to taunt her. They'd rushed Neal away from her the moment they arrived, told Hook to wait with her in one of the waiting rooms. It was odd, she knew it was. Her walking around, pacing, keeping her eyes on the floor so that she didn't have to look anyone in the eye or see something that made her flashback to the horrible days when the hospital had been the only home she'd known. And Hook, black duster and all, she didn't need to lift her head to know that he was staring at her, watching as she walked back and forth, she could feel his eyes on her.

"Are you here with Neal Cassidy?" someone finally asked after what felt like an eternity. The nurse kindly explained that he was fine and that there was no need to panic. Physically he was a bit dehydrated and under nourished, they were giving him fluids and letting him rest to regain a bit of strength. But mentally, she explained, he was confused, missing a chunk of time. "But then again a bit of amnesia in this town isn't exactly something to write home about," the nurse muttered to herself looking down at a chart of some kind.

"Can we see him?" she asked irritably. She didn't particularly care for a comment like that. Not given the situation in town, the fact that she had no idea where Bae had been all this time, and certainly not considering that the times she'd been to the hospital it had been for amnesia. She knew too much about how it was treated for comfort. But the nurse seemed to snap out of it quickly and nodded before leading them down the hallway and into a room with a bed. "Bae!" she smiled, simply ecstatic to see his eyes open again.

"Belle!" he smiled when his eyes landed on her. "It's so good to see you!" he smiled, for the briefest second his eyes seemed to light up before he dropped his head in his hands and rubbed his face. "Wow…I don't know what made me say that," he muttered rubbing his forehead as if it hurt, looking confused. Suddenly he glanced back up at her. "Not that I'm not happy to see you I just don't know…those words…God, my head!"

"Neal," she smiled, stepping closer and silencing him. "It's fine, I understand. And it's good to see you too! I'm just so happy you're alive!"

"Alive?!" he echoed, looking shocked and still confused, "What? What're you talking about? Why are we in Storybrooke? I thought we were supposed to be back in the Enchanted Forest! How are…why is he here?" she followed his gaze over her shoulder to find Hook lurking behind her.

"Good to see you too, mate," he muttered sarcastically.

"I'm…I'm not you're mate," Neal snapped. "What is going on here?!"

"Neal," she stepped forward, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly sympathetic. It was the confused questioning that got to her. The number of times she'd asked that in this very hospital and had no one tell her what was going on. She wouldn't do that to him, he deserved to know what was happening. So she ignored Hook, wandering behind her, and moved to stand by his bed.

"What's happening?" he breathed. "Why are we here?"

"We're not sure exactly," she admitted. "The last thing anyone remembers is the curse being cast to take us to the Enchanted Forest but we all woke up here, in our beds."

"But, ho-how?! Why? Did something go wrong? Didn't Regina cast it right?"

She shook her head, trying to figure out exactly what need to be said. She trusted Emma, whether or not she trusted Regina was up in the air, but even if Regina was responsible for this curse, it hadn't been because something went wrong then. But in the last year? Who knew what had happened in that time? Who knew what that mark on his hand meant? "We're not sure how we ended up here," she sighed. "You're not the only one missing time. It's been a year since we were last in Storybrooke."

"A year!" he screamed in angry disbelief. "Missing time?! How long have we been here?"

"A few days-"

"A few days! I only remember waking up here, where have I been, ah!" he reached forward and held his head in his hand again. He needed to calm down, to not be so angry or confused. He wasn't going to get any better worrying like he was.

"Neal, calm down," she insisted.

"Calm down?! How-"

"It's been a few days since we got here. But Emma is back-"

"Emma?" her name seemed to grab his attention, make him forget about whatever hurt in his head as he looked at her desperatly. "Emma's here? And Henry?"

She nodded, but didn't have the heart to tell him that Henry still didn't remember any of them. As much as she wanted him to know what was going on, she wasn't sure she was the one to explain that to him. "There are others, more that have gone missing, and while we're pretty sure that we went back to the Enchanted Forest no one remembers anything that happened in the past year."

"But Emma's here?" he questioned, quieter, calmer. It was good. Neal might have something that she could use, something that could help the others who were missing, something that could help them find Rumple. If Emma was what eased his mind then that was what she'd use.

"Yeah she is. She's trying to figure out everything that's happened, everything that's going on. I called her when you came into the shop, she'll be here soon." It worked, or seemed to. He sighed, and leaned his head back against the pillows he was propped up on and closed his eyes. Was he tired, or simply on medication? He had an IV, that she assumed was to help the dehydration, but with the headache he had coming and going, she supposed it was possible that they'd given him something for it. Could that be what was wrong with his memory? If she tried to figure out what he remembered would there be anything helpful? Anything that would help her find Rumple?

"I don't suppose you remember anything? Anything about where you were or what you were doing before you came to the shop?" she asked delicately. He only shook his head and rubbed his face, looking completely overwhelmed. She understood.

"Neal!" she glanced behind her to see Emma and David running into the room with looks of shock, confusion, and on Emma relief. She moved aside. It was clear Emma only had eyes for the man on the bed, and if she was what kept him calm, then she didn't want to be in the way. Maybe Emma could clear his head enough to get something useful out of it. "You're here?" Emma gaped. "What happened?"

Yes, he was better when she was around. Where her questioning had only seemed to stress him further, Emma's questions stilled him. He was still confused, there was no doubt about it, his jaw hung open and he stared off into the distance, trying to force his mind to work, but recognized that look. There was no recognition. No memory. He was calm, but he couldn't answer Emma's questions any more than he'd answered hers.

"I, I don't know," Neal stuttered finally. "I remember seeing the yellow bug cross over the town line and next thing I know, I'm running around the forest back in Storybrooke, where apparently there's been," he sighed as he looked between her and Hook with disbelief, "a whole lot going on!" And the saddest part was what she'd told him hadn't even been the half of it. She wished she could give him all the answers that he needed, the ones that would solve not just his problems but hers and Rumple's and the entire town, but she just couldn't.

"Are you going to tell him," Hook suddenly questioned, "or shall I?"

"Tell me what?" Neal questioned predictably.

"Neal," David began in a gentle tone, "we think your Dad's back."

"Back?" he muttered quietly as David nodded to confirm that he'd heard correctly. She wasn't sure that there was any good way to deliver news like that, at least there wasn't any that she could think of that stemmed the shock and confusion that came from it, and she watched as Neal's calm demeanor suddenly gave way once again into unmistakable chaos. "I just watched him die, what do you mean he's back?!"

"Take it easy," Emma insisted, suddenly stepping in before his head could explode in pain again. But as she opened her mouth to say something again, Emma's eye suddenly turned curious as she stared at something. His hand. She grabbed it and stared at the triangle that looked as though it had been seared into the flesh of palm. "What the hell is that?" she questioned looking at it with shock. She couldn't say she blamed the girl. Shock and confusion seemed to be the primary emotions shifting in the air ever since she woke up this morning.

"No idea," Neal answered obediently. "It was there when I woke up."

She watched as Emma raised her phone and took a picture of the mark. "Belle, can you do some more research?" she asked.

She swallowed as she nodded. "Yeah," in her opinion it was a question that didn't even need asking, she'd been quietly leafing through the information she had in her brain, the little that she'd gotten from her books without a second thought since she'd seen the thing. "Sure absolutely."

"I'll send you the picture."

"Okay," she agreed. She was already planning on doing research for Rumple, she may as well do more.

"Hey, guys," Neal suddenly interrupted looking between her and Hook again. "Can we, can we have a minute?" he asked glancing at Emma.

"Yeah, of course," David said a little too eagerly as he exchanged frustrated glances with Hook. She could only smirk. David wanted them together too. She didn't want to leave Neal alone, but he'd be safe here with Emma. And she might give him more of the peace that he needed, the peace that she recognized so well.

He'd once told her that he gave her peace, but he was her own peace as well. He wasn't gone...but he was and she knew that this gaping hole in her life would not be filled until he returned to her. Until he came home she wouldn't know peace again, not like she had the morning after he'd been back from Neverland. If Baelfire could get even a fraction of what she felt with Rumple by having a moment alone with Emma, then she'd leave, and return later.


	15. Keeping Old Promises

David placed a hand on her back and together, the three of them left the way they came and stood in one of the waiting rooms that made her skin crawl. She hated this place. She'd been fine in the room with Neal but now that they were outside crowded around each other with nothing to distract her all the memories seemed to press down on her again. Would she ever be able to set foot in this place without feeling like she was being watched, like they were all staring at the crazy girl? Yes, she would, because she didn't always feel this way. She just needed her peace back. She needed Rumpelstiltskin.

"Did you find anything?" she asked David, her voice an automatic whisper. She couldn't help it, everything she felt in this world told her to be quiet so the staff wouldn't hear her. It didn't matter that she had her memories, or she wasn't a patient here, or if she now knew more about magic than any of them. It was an instinct.

"No," David answered with a shake of the head. "But we didn't exactly have a lot of time to look before you called. We'd only just made it out to the woods and I'm not the tracker that Mary Margaret is. What about you?" David asked suddenly turning the conversation on her. "Did you have any luck? Did you find…anything that might help us locate him?" She shook her head. Disappointing news all around then. But her reasoning was different. She'd had time to look, she'd had time to page through almost every book in the shop and still managed to find nothing before Bae showed up.

"Not yet," she corrected. Yet. She hadn't found anything yet. She would. She had too. She wouldn't be able to rest until he was home.

"Which means we're on our own," the three of them turned to see Emma hurrying into the room. She was surprised to see her outside so fast, even more surprised to see that her relieved look had disappeared. In its place was a stern but still determined expression. "We've got to get back to tracking. Belle, will you be alright in the shop by yourself for a while?" Hospital or not she could have leapt for joy. She was going back to the shop and allowed to be there by herself, without Hook?! That was better than "alright".

"Am I to go with you then, Swan?" Hook questioned.

"No," she corrected, "I need you to stay here, make sure Neal stays here."

"You don't think he will?" she asked confused. What on earth had they talked about?

"I think he's a man on a mission and he needs to be a man resting. I can't think of any other way to keep him here."

"So I'm supposed to be a babysitter then?" Hook asked almost hurt.

Emma ignored him and turned to look at her. "Will you be okay on your own?" She nodded and offered a happy smile. On her own? Witch or no witch that shop was the safest place in the world. She'd rather be there by herself than with Hook. She might even be able to get more work done without him hovering in her private space. "Okay, we'll get back to the forest, give us a call if you find anything." Without another word Emma and David turned and left quickly leaving her alone once more with Hook. Still the last place she wanted to be. She wanted to stay, to remain here with Neal, with Rumple's son, but sitting around wasn't going to help anyone.

Neal was safe here. He was surrounded by staff and while she knew it was possible to escape, because Lacey had done it, she knew that it wasn't exactly easy. Besides, he was with Hook. Whether or not she cared for the pirate didn't matter. If their brief time together had taught her anything it was that he wouldn't harm Neal for the same reason she couldn't. He was Milah's son. And he'd be safe here with Hook while he recovered, just as she'd be safe in the shop, doing research, waiting for Rumple to come back to her. That was where she belonged right now.

"Give me a minute with Neal," she muttered, moving around Hook and back into the room. He was still there, still rubbing his head, eyes closed, looking less than calm. What _had _he and Emma talked about to cause such a look in so little time?! "Are you feeling alright?" she asked.

He opened his eyes to look at her, that same look of relief passing over his eyes for the briefest of seconds. "No," he muttered when the relief faded. "No, I'm far from alright. I've lost an entire year of my life, my father is missing, I'm stuck here, and my son…!" He didn't need to go on. Suddenly she knew exactly what he and Emma had discussed, what had left him so upset. She couldn't blame him.

"Everything will be fine, Bae," she assured him. It seemed like only last week they'd spoken inside Granny's diner. He'd insisted she call him Neal and not mother him. She'd promised she would and for the most part kept that promise, even if she couldn't help but think of him as Bae and Baelfire...at least she thought she'd done a good job but with the last year a blank slate in her head she supposed she really didn't know if she had. Still he didn't correct the name this time and didn't resist when she reached out and put a hand over his own. She wouldn't say it was mothering, she'd done it with other friends, but she didn't know if he would see it that way. "I'm going to go back to the shop to look into your hand and what happened with Rumple."

"You'll find him then?" he questioned suddenly, looking at her with interest.

"I'll try," she promised. "Just like Emma and David are trying. But if I know Rumple they may not have to try. He'll come for us, you know. For you and for me. They won't be able to keep him away," she assured him with a smile. It was a truth that she didn't need to believe in. For her, it was a fact. For all she knew when she got back to the store she'd find him waiting there for her, wondering where she'd been.

Neal nodded, but she could see that he didn't believe it in the same way that she did, wasn't as hopeful. There was something more on his mind, too much for him to be hopeful. "Emma says that Henry doesn't remember anything that happened when he was here," he stated suddenly, as if the words had just flown out of his mouth without his permission, like he simply couldn't hold them in any more. "He doesn't remember you, or me…" his voice trailed off as he glanced around the room avoiding her eyes.

She nodded, seeing no reason to deny it. "I saw him."

Finally he glanced up at her, the words she'd said sparking interest, curiosity. The family resemblance always was in their looks, she couldn't believe she'd forgotten that. "Is he happy?" he asked carefully.

She nodded again, trying to offer a comforting smile that she knew wouldn't matter in the end. What was a smile when his son had no memory of their time together and was happy about it? "He seemed fine to me." But the answer didn't satisfy. She only watched as his jaw tightened and he grit his teeth together so hard she was worried he'd chip a tooth. He didn't like the topic, didn't like what had happened to his son, but she knew that hope wasn't lost. So Henry didn't remember, he would! Someday he'd remember again. She knew it! And if Bae didn't, then she'd be more than happy to believe for the both of them.

"He, uh...he doesn't know me. Doesn't know my name or what really happened. All he knows is that I left Emma...him."

"You'll get back to him, Neal. One way or another he'll see that you are a good man, that you love him. He'll remember who you are!" The words nearly caused her to shiver. It was strange, she'd said those words too many times to count, but usually she was saying it to Rumple about him, about his Baelfire. To say it to Neal about his son was eerie.

"Yeah, I hope so," he sighed.

"He will," she insisted automatically, the old argument still fresh, "trust me."

"I trust you with my life," he said suddenly, looking at her with eyes that reminded her so much of Rumpelstiltskin it nearly brought tears to her eyes. But before she could consider the wonderful words he'd said to her, words that sounded more like his father's than his own, he pulled his hand free from her own and grabbed his head, his joints flexing and stiffing from what she could only assume was pain. "Oh, God my head!" he cried, leaning forward so that he was bent in half, his head practically in his own lap.

She wasn't sure what was causing the pain, the headaches, but she knew that this wasn't good for him. He needed to rest, to sleep, and get better. He wasn't going to be able to do that with her sitting there talking about how miserable he was because Henry didn't even remember who he was. "You need to rest," she assured him, reaching out for his shoulders and trying to get him to stretch out again and relax. "Please," she begged, "just rest. You'll feel better when you sleep!"

As quickly as the episode had come on, it passed. The fingers in his hair eased, he nodded his head, and let her push him back against the pillows. "Yeah," he nodded, keeping his eyes closed and reclining. "Yeah, you should go. Do your research. Find my father. Maybe he can undo what's in Henry's head." She wanted him to rest but his reaction only made her worry, want to stay there with him, to make sure he'd be ok. She promised she wouldn't mother, but it was hard to do that when he was looking helpless and weak like that. Maybe it didn't matter whether she was here or the shop it didn't matter. Rumple would find her.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I can stay. We don't have to talk."

"Yeah," Neal insisted with a nod of his head. "Yeah, it's fine. I'll catch up with you later. Once the room stops spinning or my head stops…whatever the hell it's doing." She was torn. Here or there it didn't matter...but with his eyes closed it looked as though he finally really did want to get to sleep. She could get more work done at the shop than she could watching him sleep. And for all she knew, his headaches had more to do with that triangle on his hand than dehydration. That stray thought was what made up her mind. She couldn't live with not knowing. The sooner she did the research and figured it out, the sooner she'd know for sure.

"Alright," she concluded. "Sleep. I'll be back later, when I find something." Not "if", "when". Because there was no doubt in her mind that she was going to figure this out. The idea that the mark on his hand might be behind his pain may have only started as a passing thought but it wasn't any more. Now she needed to know in order to put her mind at ease.

"Belle!" she stopped at the door before she could leave and looked back at him. Still there. Still in the bed. Still looking uneasy. But his eyes were open, staring at her with a look of utmost desperation. "Before we left the shop that day you said you'd take care of him."

"I remember," she smiled. So few words and yet she knew precisely what he was talking about. When they'd decided to leave him alone with Pan in the back room, a decision she'd come to regret over the last few days, he'd asked if he would be okay and she'd told him he'd be fine and she'd take care of it. She'd nearly forgotten, but it all came back to her clear as day and she wished she'd had the opportunity to "take care" of it as she'd promised then more than anything.

"You still will, right? When they find him, you'll take care of him?"

All that needless worrying Rumple had done. His son did still love him. They would have their issues, probably for the rest of their lives. They'd never be as close as they had been, but they did love each other! Whether they liked to admit it or not. It was hopeful. Witch or not, the future was hopeful.

"He'll be in good hands," she promised without a moment of hesitation. And of course she would continue to take care of him. Who else would if she didn't? No one, if only because she suddenly felt just as over protective as she'd once accused him of being. He was hers. She'd always, _always, _be there to pick up the pieces no matter what broke him. Always.

"Rest," she insisted once more. "I'll be back later."


	16. When Good News Goes Bad

"I'm leaving," she stated when she saw Hook. "I'm going to do some more research at the shop, but I'll be back later to check on him with Rumple."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"I can't just conjure the books that I need-"

"Staying at the shop," he interrupted sharply. Yes, their issues were far from over, far from gone. But it was nice to know they could at least have a conversation and acknowledge they were playing for the same team. It was the strangest feeling. She didn't like Hook, didn't like what he'd done, but she suddenly didn't feel threatened by him either. She suspected he didn't like her much either, but he wouldn't hurt her. And he certainly wouldn't hurt Baelfire. "Are you sure that's the safest place at the moment, wouldn't you be better off at the diner, or here, some place crowded?"

"I can take care of myself, if you recall."

The pirate touched his head, the spot she'd once hit him in order to escape from him long ago. "Aye, I remember. But Rumpelstiltskin-"

"He won't hurt me!" she stressed, because she'd said it too many times to count in her lifetime. She understood the threat and why everyone was concerned, but they didn't see him like she did. There was nothing to worry about. "I'll be fine on my own until he shows up," she muttered, which could have already happened in her absence. If Neal was safe here, then she needed to stop wasting time and go. She wasn't going to do any good standing there arguing with Hook.

"Take care of Neal and try not to get into trouble," she advised before walking away, not giving Hook any chance to respond. He'd take care of Neal for the same reason that she would only his motivation was for his mother, not his father. But she didn't particularly want to know what kind of trouble he'd get into while watching over him. He might have had some interest in Emma but there were plenty of nurses around to hold his interest while her back was turned.

It felt good to be out of that place, like a veil had been lifted from her face, a heavy mantle pulled from her shoulders. Though she suspected she'd never look forward to being there, when she returned she'd have Rumple by her side, he'd make it easier to go back inside. But she didn't know what was taking so long, he had to return today! She couldn't think about where else he'd go if he didn't!

Her phone beeped the moment that she sat back down in his car. For a moment her heart fluttered and she half expected to see the number for the pawn shop flash on the little screen and for him to ask her where she was. But it was only a new picture, the one of Bae's hand that Emma had sent her. She stared at it. A triangle. An ugly raised scar on the center of his palm. She searched her memory, trying to remember if she'd seen anything about triangles in any of the books that she'd read so far. There was mention of shapes in one but she'd have to go over it again before she remembered what it meant, and even then she was certain it hadn't been something burned into the palm of a person's skin like they'd been…marked.

Marked.

Her stomach turned over. Marked. Labeled. Branded! That was what it looked like. A brand! She didn't know a lot about magic and even less about magical brands, but she knew that if it was magical, which it had to be unless he'd simply touched some kind of burning triangular cattle prod, it wasn't good. Markings like that never were. The basic spell books that she'd found sitting around the shop, the ones that he'd left there because he could risk losing them, weren't going to be helpful. This was dark magic, something far more sinister. She could feel it.

"Neal, what did you get yourself into?" she muttered to herself as she stared down at the picture. She didn't know what Baelfire had done to get that mark on his hand in the Enchanted Forest, if they'd gone there together, or if she'd been wrong and he'd abandoned her after all, but she knew a way she had to find out. And fortunately, she knew the library that she needed to help her. She knew he wouldn't want those books removed from that room without the direst of circumstances but what choice did she have? She had to be at the shop, Rumple would go there before he went to the house, and she couldn't be in two places at once. Besides, this was for Baelfire. And Baelfire's involvement in unknown dark magic, would qualify as a dire circumstance to her.

Her mind made up, she pulled out of the parking lot and left. She knew she shouldn't speed but with Emma and David off looking for Rumple she doubted anyone would stop her. She needed to get back to the shop, but had to go home first. She needed those books! So when she finally arrived, she didn't waste time. Of course she'd called out his name, wondering, hoping, that she might have been wrong, that he'd have stopped at the house and would step out into the hallway to meet her. She'd run into his arms, probably, and they'd…. No! No, she couldn't allow herself to be caught up in it, not yet. He was alive. They'd found Baelfire. It was the best news in the world, but she couldn't waste time thinking about what would happen when the moment came that he found her and she saw him again. It would be beautiful, she knew that, her imagination couldn't do it justice. But her mind could help Neal.

So she took a couple large bags, unlocked the basement door, waited until she felt the knob cool at her permissible touch, and loaded as many books as she could fit into the bags. She was weighed down, her footfalls so heavy she couldn't run back up the stairs like she wanted to. The shop was empty when she finally got back. He still wasn't there, but she wouldn't allow herself to feel disappointment, or worry at what was taking him so long, or where Emma and David were in their search. Instead she closed the door, made sure it was unlocked so that he could get in, and unloaded her burden in the back room.

She knew what she was looking for, but she didn't. The answer to two questions, one more important than the other. How the Dark One managed to survive his own death was something she could ask him herself when he returned, for all she knew it had been his plan all along, there had been some loop hole he'd known about, something that he'd arranged. She'd kill him again for doing something like that and not warning her, but still the fact remained that figuring that out had fallen into second place behind figuring out what was wrong with Neal. She wanted to know how Rumple was alive, but she needed to know what that mark on Neal meant. And she couldn't help but search for both questions.

She paged through book after book, skim reading, looking for certain trigger words.

Dark One. Triangle. Brand. Resurrection. Symbol. Scar. Dagger. Curse. Hand. Memory. Amnesia. Burn.

When she started she'd felt a small leap of joy each time she'd read one of the trigger words but after a while she learned to expect disappointment. And after a while she began to see why Rumple wanted these books hidden away.

There was no denying the magic in these was not exactly wholesome. She found a potion that would regrow a hand. A spell that would curse a scar to always feel the pain that had caused it. There were ways to alter memories. Brands that killed, maimed, and summoned terrible creatures. Stories of what the Dark One had created and why, ones that she believed because she could too easily fill in the blanks, others that she rolled her eyes at because there was no point in it for him, and some she honestly didn't know what to think about. She found myths about triangles that could destroy anything that came into their perimeter and cause strange disappearance.

She read and worked. Minute after minute. Moment after moment. Page after page. Language after language. Book after book. The words seemed to blur together after a while, with each turn of the page! _"This curse will increase pain…", "…after drawing a triangle on the floor with three perfect points…", "To boil the blood of your enemies and burn flesh…", "…the Dark One's dagger has not been seen for centuries…", "…a triangle which is often a symbol of summoning…." _Finally she stopped and looked at the page she'd landed on. It was the first time she'd seen two of her trigger words in one sentence. And "summoning" she didn't know why she hadn't thought of that word before!

The language was one that she'd studied before, but not written in his hand, it was something older. A skeleton key of some kind was drawn on the top corner, there was only a little information scattered across the page, but there scrawled at the top of it she could translate easily: _The Myth of the Dark One's Vault. _More key words. She swallowed as she pulled the book closer and looked over the tiny entry eagerly.

_"Though the dagger is the only known way to control and destroy the Dark One, there is some doubt if it would be possible to banish such vast and pure darkness entirely from the realms. The Dark One's vault is said to be the place that the original Dark One was created. Legend states that the terrible evil created within the chamber scarred the earth and filled it with the blackest of all evil. In order to contain it, the unknown being that created the curse locked the evil away with a special key. _

_"Though the unknown man had good intentions, he had unknowingly created a source of recreation and life should anything happen to the man that possessed the curse of the Dark One. The blackness within the vault infected the key and burned into it a triangle which is often the symbol of summoning, making the key a talisman. Though the key is missing, its location and existence unknown, if placed within the lock of the vault it has the ability to revive the Dark One from death, recreating the curse, but at a great price. The key is said to brand the individual using it and drain their life in order to restore life to the cursed individual. _

_"Death is required for life."_

Her heart stopped. She reread the entry, then read it again to make sure she wasn't misunderstanding. It seemed unbelievable, but what were the chances that one small entry could contain all the answers she was looking for and not be related to the situation. There was a way to revive the Dark One, a way to have brought Rumple back, and if he'd brought him back while they were in the Enchanted Forest then that would explain why she'd woken up in Storybrooke with the feeling that he wasn't gone. It was because he hadn't been. He'd been alive. He'd been alive all this time. That news should have been enough to make her smile to make her perfectly happy.

But the words didn't relieve her, they only made her feel sick. The more she read and reread them, the more she looked at the description of the key, the brand, the more terrified she got. _"Death is required for life." _Death for life? She didn't even have to question who would make such a trade because she already knew. She knew that Rumple would have given up his life in a heartbeat in order to get his son back to see him one more time. She knew the determined look that he had on his face, and it was the same look Neal had on his face the day that Emma and Henry had disappeared over the town line into safety. Whether or not she'd been part of it she didn't know, but it appeared that in their missing year Neal, at least, had gotten himself into the biggest trouble of all in his desperation to get back to his son. Like father like son.

But something bothered her. Something more than the obvious. The one part of this that didn't add up, that didn't make sense. _"Death is required for life." _According to that statement alone something was wrong. It was the one thing that didn't fit perfectly. If Neal had been the one to bring Rumple back, if Rumple had been alive the entire time. Then Neal shouldn't have stumbled into the shop that morning.

He should be dead.


	17. Missing Time

Her hands shook as she picked up her phone and found Emma's number. She tried to tell herself not to panic, not to think the worst-this was Rumpelstiltskin they were dealing with after all, he wouldn't let anything happen to his son. Was it possible that he'd returned while they were in the Enchanted Forest? Had they all been reunited? Had he figured out a way to save Neal, some spell to preserve him? They had no idea what exactly had happened over there, and this was her first time really engaging in magic all on her own, for all she knew she'd read this wrong and the death was symbolic in a way. There might not be anything to worry about.

But the knotting her stomach was doing didn't seem to agree with her. If they'd all been united why hadn't she woken up in Storybrooke with him at her side? If they'd all been together, why had Neal been missing up until today? The situation might not have been clear but she knew that something was wrong and Emma needed to know about it immediately.

"Belle," Emma finally answered. "What did you find?"

"The symbol on Neal's hand," she began, not a moment to waste, "it's from an ancient talisman, a key that opens the vault of the Dark One." She took a deep breath and tried to swallow but her mouth felt dry. What had he gotten into? "I think he may have used it to resurrect Rumple, back when we were in the Enchanted Forest."

"Wait!" Emma shouted confused. "So, he brought Gold back?" she clarified. There was more than shock and confusion in her voice. There was something like amazement, stunned belief, but it simply wasn't the right reaction. She didn't understand! If he'd brought Rumple back then it wasn't a good thing, not according to this book. It was bad. But just how bad she wouldn't know until they found Rumple or got their memories back.

"That's where it gets unclear," she admitted. She didn't know what happened, didn't know what all of it meant! Had he brought Rumple back? Had she? Both of them? One of them? Neither?! Could she simply have read the wrong thing?! She wished she knew, she wished she had her memory, she wished she could understand! "But the vault will only restore the Dark One in exchange for another life," she stated with a lump in her throat.

"Whoa! Hang on a minute, what?!" she questioned, her tone suddenly matching her own nervous terrified feeling.

"It's a one for one trade," she explained, wishing desperately the information was different. Wishing with all her heart that the final sentence in the entry said something different, meant something different! But no matter how much she stared at it, the words were unchanging. _"Death is required for life." _She just didn't know why it hadn't worked the way it should have and couldn't understand what that would mean for Neal. There was only one logical, yet unclear way to describe it. "If Neal used that key," she concluded darkly, "he should be different now."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, like she was trying to figure out what to say or what to do, maybe what to question. They needed someone more than Hook to sit with Neal, someone magical, someone that might know what they were dealing with like the Blue Fairy. But as she opened her mouth to make the suggestion to Emma something she didn't understand happened. Someone was yelling on the other end of the line, screaming like…like she'd heard Neal scream in the hospital.

"Neal! Neal!" she heard Emma yell faintly away from the phone. But before she could ask what was happening there was a thud, the phone dropping to the ground. Then the line went dead.

She knew right away what it meant. She'd been wrong, there was plenty of reason to panic!

Immediately she tried to call Emma back. Once. Twice. Three times! But she never picked up. She felt as if there was electricity coursing through her body, she couldn't sit still, but she didn't know what else to do! She ended up feeling light on her feet as she danced around the shop, trying to come up with a plan!

She walked to the front door, determined to go after Emma, to figure out what was going on. But back behind the counter when she realized she had no idea where Emma had gone, she could be anywhere! She was back at the front door a moment later when she decided she could go to the hospital. Then she wandered into the back room and stared at the books with the damning information. What good would going to the hospital be? She knew what good she wanted it to be, she wanted to go back into that room and find Neal sitting there asleep and bored like he should be. But the scream that she'd heard on the phone, the way Emma had called out his name. She knew without even going to the hospital, he wouldn't be there. She should go, start looking for him, for anything! But what about Rumple! Where was he? She had to wait for him too! She collapsed down on the cot in the back, holding her head in her hands.

She just didn't know what to do!

Suddenly the bell on the front door of the shop chimed and she leapt to her feet, coming quickly to only one conclusion. He was here. Rumple had come at last! He'd know how to find Baelfire. They'd be able to go to him to solve this. Right now, they could-

Hook.

Not Rumple.

It was only Hook wandering back into the shop. Her protection. Bae's protection. Her emotions changed faster than she knew possible. One second she'd been excited. The next, she felt anger, and downright rage, roar in her chest at the pirate. Why did it seem like he was always at the center of all of their problems?!

"What happened?!" she shouted the moment the pirate's eyes met her own. He'd had two jobs! Two! Two important things she'd told him to do! Watch Neal. And stay out of trouble. If he'd done either of them then Neal would be here with him or he'd still be there at the hospital! Clearly something had gone wrong and the pirate hadn't followed those instructions. "Where's Neal?!" she demanded, feeling like if she didn't get a straight answer out of him she couldn't be held responsible for what she did next.

Hook sighed. "I left for a moment to find food and when I returned he was gone," he concluded. She only stared him down. He was lying. Plain and simple. She could see through Rumple's lies in a heartbeat did he really think that he could lie so blatantly to her and not get caught?!

"Where did he go?" she asked again.

"I don't know."

"Where did he go?!" It was Hooks turn to stare her down, to look at her angrily. She didn't care if he didn't appreciate her questioning. She didn't particularly appreciate his presence or his lies, but they could be furious with each other later, for now they had to fix this. They had to find Neal. She couldn't get a hold of Emma and Rumple wasn't here. If he was the only help she would get then she had no choice but to take it. However little it was.

"If I were to venture a guess," Hook said in a cool, dismissive tone, "I would say to look for his father."

Looking for his father. Just like Emma. So she hadn't imagined it, hadn't jumped to conclusions. The scream she'd heard on the phone was Neal's. He was with Emma. There was a certain sense of calm that came over her with that certainty. Emma might not know how she felt about him, she might not have wanted to admit it, and been torn because of the pirate she now shared the room with, but she'd seen the looks they'd given each other, how relieved she'd been to see him in that hospital. Emma might not know what she felt but she did. Emma loved him, just as Neal loved her. If he was in danger, in pain as the screams indicated, then there was no doubt Emma would bring him back. If he was with Emma then Neal would be safe. They could get the Blue Fairy to help Neal. They could fix this! She had to believe it was true, because the only other alternative was no alternative at all.

"How did you fare?" Hook asked, breaking the delicate silence and stares. "Did you manage to find anything to explain the mark on Bae's hand?" She had to try not to snap, to bite her tongue, and not shout that she'd done the job she had in all of this. But it was the name that managed to soften her. Hook had trouble remembering to call him Neal too. There were only a few people in the world that would know what it was like to be her. Irritating as it was, Hook was one of them. Maybe the only one.

"It wasn't good news," she answered, "but nearly all of it makes sense except for the last bit." Talking was good. Explaining was good. Talking and explaining left little room for arguing and fighting. So she told him what she'd found, just as she had Emma. Only this time she thought about each sentence carefully before she said it. Hook was still Hook. No matter what was happening now, the last thing she wanted was to get Rumple and Baelfire back only to give Hook the information he needed to finally kill him. But she explained about the vault, she gave him the same knowledge, the same courtesy that she would want to be given in regards to Neal. It was only fair.

"'_Death is required for life,'"_ she finally informed him darkly. "It just doesn't make sense! He shouldn't be walking around, with or without Emma! It's all here it's just not adding up. I don't see how Neal would be the one to do this, maybe he didn't."

"Actually it makes perfect sense," the pirate concluded in a mournful tone.

"Excuse me?" Hook gave her an awkward glance and seemed to shuffle nervously. He did know something! It caught her off guard. How did it make sense to Hook but not to her? What did he know? Had Neal said something when she'd been gone? Something he didn't want to tell her.

"After we arrived back in the Enchanted Forest," he began, "Neal believed he could find a way to resurrect the Dark One. He was determined to get back to the boy, back to Emma. He thought his father could help him do it."

Her jaw dropped. No wonder he'd been holding back, there was more to that sentence than she expected, more than maybe even he knew! "You remember what happened to us?" she questioned with disbelief. "You remember the last year?"

"Did I forget to mention that?"

She opened her mouth to scream at him but closed it again, trying to remember her previous conclusion. She could be angry later. For now, Hook had answers and she wanted answers more than she wanted to scream. "Was I there?" she asked desperately. "Did Neal do this? Did I? Were we successful?" she demanded. She had to know if she had any part of this, of putting Baelfire's life in jeopardy in order to get Rumple's back. She couldn't imagine that she ever would have, but she hadn't the faintest idea about what had happened between the town line and waking up in his bed days ago! And she couldn't even begin to guess what Hook had done. Though, she supposed, if he'd had his memories it certainly explained why he'd been able to go after Emma, though not how he'd gotten a potion to bring her memories back.

"I can't be sure," Hook admitted. "We arrived together, but I don't exactly fit in well with a crowd of determined royals and left almost immediately. I only just barely heard what Neal was talking about."

"Wait," she closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to take it all in, to understand it. "Neal?" she clarified. "Not me?" Going after Rumple seemed like it was something she would do, not Neal.

Hook smiled. It was a smile that made her stomach turn. It wasn't quite happy but it wasn't quite funny either. It was somewhere between, something like an awkward reaction to something. "The last I saw you weren't exactly in any condition to be thinking, love. You ran off into the woods after we arrived, probably would have been lost if Neal hadn't brought you back." She gaped at the words, forgetting to chastise him for the name that she'd snapped at him not to use earlier. If Neal hadn't brought her back? She'd run away? Away from what?

She knew. She'd run from her pain. From her grief. Rumple had been gone, she couldn't forget that. She might not have felt the pain from it when she woke up here but she'd felt it the day they'd gone back to the Enchanted Forest. She thought of the way that Neal had held her up, clutched her to his side.

_"I've got her."_

That line kept replaying over and over again in her mind. She didn't know where she'd found the energy to run when she'd barely been able to stand but she knew one thing, she hadn't been wrong. Something had happened between her and Neal that day. Something that had led him to chase after her and bring her back to the group. She just wished she could remember!

Better yet she wished she could remember what happened after he'd brought her back.

But before she could open her mouth to question what had happened, what else the pirate knew, she jumped as a shrill noise broke into the silence.

Her phone rang.


	18. Death is Required for Life

The moment her phone rang she felt her blood run unexpectedly cold. She grabbed at it, expecting to see Emma's number, but it wasn't. It was David. She knew something was wrong that very second.

"I don't suppose Rumpelstiltskin showed up at your door, yet?"

This? Still! It wasn't making her feel better! "No," she answered. "No he didn't. Why? Did you find him? Where's Neal? Is he ok? Is he with Emma?"

"Are you at the shop?" he asked calmly. How could he be calm at a time like this? Hadn't Emma called him? Hadn't she shared the information she'd passed along to her?

"Yes! What is going on?!" she demanded.

"Don't leave," he insisted, "Mary Margaret and I are coming over. We'll be there in a couple of minutes," and he hung up. She wanted to scream. She wanted to yell! What was the reason behind all the secrecy? There was an emergency, they couldn't afford to lose more time! What on earth did David have to tell her that he couldn't tell her over the phone?!

Her breath left her chest. She felt every beat of her heart, heard the blood rush through her ears, and her body began to tingle, like it did as if circulation had been cut off. Ever since she woke up that morning the world seemed to be have been spinning too fast. She'd woken up without Rumple, knowing he was dead, without a clue where Neal was, and on a mission to find some unimportant compass. Since then she'd found out that Rumple was alive but hadn't come back to her. Neal was alive and had been found, but no sooner had she gotten him back and he'd gone missing again. And now…now she knew. She knew what David would want to tell her. There was only one thing that he could want to tell her in person and not on the phone. It was as if the fast moving world had suddenly pressed the breaks and thrown her head first into the windshield. Suddenly the world was spinning too slowly and she struggled to get her mind to work through the whiplash.

She was aware of Hook. She knew he was there and could hear him asking if Emma had called? If they'd found Neal? Asking what was wrong? But the words blurred together. No. It couldn't be. Her assumption had to be wrong. It had to be something else! Talking on the phone wasn't safe or wherever David was it wasn't safe to talk. It couldn't possibly mean what she thought it did. Could it?

But it was. She knew it was. The moment she turned at the sound of the bell and saw David and Mary Margaret, saw their faces, she knew that it was true. She wasn't wrong. She hadn't read the wrong thing, or come to the wrong conclusion. Finding Rumple wouldn't help anything. It was too late.

Without a word Mary Margaret walked straight over to her and as her husband closed the door to give them privacy she swallowed her up in a great hug, confirming the news she would hear. No. She certainly wasn't wrong.

Tears swam in her eyes as she struggled to absorb it, to live it. Last time, when she'd believed Neal had died she hadn't known him. She'd never met him, at least not as herself. The only thing she'd had to do was hold his father, support him as his world came crashing down. Now it was her that needed the support; that needed Mary Margaret to help keep her together.

She still didn't know what had happened in the last year, but she knew what had happened between them before, her memories seemed to swim in her head, overwhelming her. She remembered it all.

She remembered when she'd first heard he wasn't dead, when Ariel had told her that he was alive and he was in Neverland with Rumple.

She remembered the day he'd come back whole and alive from Neverland.

She remembered how excited she'd been to finally meet him. How they'd started out awkwardly, she'd been under scrutiny at first, but after their talk at the diner and the grave site that night when they realized they'd had one shared interest in the well-being of Rumpelstiltskin that he'd softened. How he'd invited her along when they'd gone to look for Henry the next day, how she'd had hope knowing he did care for his father.

And she'd never forget the moment Rumple had gone away, standing there at the town line, unable to focus, to hold herself up if it weren't for Archie. _"I've got her," _he'd said. She hadn't been sure if it was true until today. If he'd meant it or not and what it would have looked like, but Hook had given her a glimpse.

She'd run away.

Bae had gone after her.

There had been something there. And now?

Now it was gone. She didn't need the words to tell her that. Only the way Mary Margaret sympathetically squeezed her for what seemed like hours. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry." So sorry? Her stomach flipped, maybe she did need the words, not to tell her the obvious, but to tell her just how bad it was. Neal wasn't with them. And neither was Rumple. She pulled away and looked at Mary Margaret, she was just as upset as she was it seemed. Was Emma in trouble too?

"Neal?" she questioned uselessly. Mary Margaret gave a small nod and sniffle before she wiped her eyes. "Emma?"

"She's with Henry," David muttered in a low tone. "She thought he needed to be told…something," he concluded with a shake of his head.

"And Rumple?" she asked, choking on the lump in her throat. "Is he-"

"No," David answered, "just...just Neal," he finished with a sad sigh. She should have felt relieved in some way, but just couldn't. Her insides felt as though they'd been liquefied, frozen over, melted again, and now resembled something like cold sticky rice. Nothing but mush. She couldn't wrap her mind around it. She'd experienced too much today to feel anything else. Rumple was alive. She should have known it all along, knowing what she felt when he wasn't living. But with Neal gone, his only son, his one consistent desire century after century, how much of him would be left now?

She would give it up, give up the peace of knowing he was alive, out there somewhere, just to have Neal back, to have this to do over again, to find him on her own and figure it out together, so that when she finally saw him again he'd be happy. She swallowed the lump in her throat down as tears stained her cheeks again. How had today, begun with a plan so simple, gone so terribly wrong?

As she mourned, the world started moving again. Fast. As it had been before she'd gotten David's call. But she wasn't ready for it. Wasn't prepared. David talked. She listened as best she could, quietly. Her brain slogged through sentence after sentence, picking out the most basic facts, the bare bones, and putting them together in her head. Translating piece by piece.

Emma and David spotted Gold in the woods after they'd returned to look for him. But he wasn't "right". Rumple had run off. Emma went after him and they were separated. The next time David saw her she'd come running back, sprinting, saying they had to get to Mary Margaret. Naturally, David hadn't wasted any time and Emma explained what happened, what could be happening, in the car.

She'd lost Rumple but found Neal, who had escaped the hospital to help look for Rumple, to be a hero for Henry. He wanted to make a positive memory. But after she'd called, well, it became clear that she hadn't read the passage wrong, hadn't misinterpreted, hadn't guessed wrong. Death was the price for life. The only reason Neal had survived as long as he did was because of his father.

Neal hadn't been Neal. Not really. Not completely. Somehow, probably in an effort to save him, Rumple had bound his son to him, absorbed him into his very skin. Two had become one. But the spell was unstable. Shifting back and forth. Driving them mad with the voices. Rumple was Neal. Neal was Rumple.

Confusing as it was, heartbreaking as it was, it made sense. When Rumple had gotten free so had Neal. That was why Neal had come to the shop, burst in as he did all of a sudden. It was Rumple that had gone to the shop, had wanted to see her. The comments he'd made at the hospital that sounded like the words belonged to Rumple, the pain in his head that followed, the look in his eye that resembled his father, it wasn't resemblance, or appreciation. It was Rumple, trying to break through. Trying to reach for her.

By sharing a body Rumple had kept his son alive. But at Neal's request Emma used her magic to separate them, ending the spell…sealing Neal's fate.

Neal had died. Right there. Right then. With Emma and Rumple beside him.

Rumple, despite his grief had informed Emma of the witch's identity.

Zelena. The woman that had been helping Mary Margaret with the baby. The woman that had come into the store, called her Mrs. Gold, and asked her help in picking a present. Her name was Zelena. She was the witch. The Wicked Witch of the West. She'd been keeping Rumple captive, mad as he'd been.

Emma had left Neal. She'd had no choice, Zelena had been with Mary Margaret, and she'd been in danger. There was no point in losing her too just to guard Neal's body. She'd found David, gone back to Mary Margaret, and arrived too late.

Zelena had gone.

Neal was dead.

And Rumple…

"Where is he?" she asked, her heart pounding. "Where is Rumple? What happened to him?"

"Emma said he stayed behind, practically sent her away after Zelena. He stayed with Neal…with the body." Of course he had. What else would he have done? What else could he have done?

"Take me to him," she stated, leaving no room for disagreement. "Now!" She wanted nothing more than to see him with her own two eyes. She was tired of the running around, the waiting, and relying on others to find him for her. And she knew that he wouldn't come to her, not any more. He couldn't. With Neal dead, he wouldn't have the strength. If he couldn't come to her then she would go to him.

She wanted to see him.

And right now, he needed her.


	19. Still a Caretaker

"Rumple!" she yelled the moment David's truck came to a stop and he pointed to a small clearing of trees. She could see it, something on the ground and people standing around looking. She'd flown out of the car and sprinted as best she could through the forest separating them. "Rumple! Rump…" but her jaw dropped when she finally arrived. He wasn't there. And the sight of Neal lying there...it made her heart stop.

She forced her eyes up, looking into he faces that were not the ones she wanted or expected to see. Regina was there. And next to her a man she never thought she'd see again, a man she'd scarcely thought about since she last saw him ride off into the fog. "Robin Hood?" she breathed confused.

"Belle!" he smiled, and before she really knew what was happening he was smiling and stepping toward her.

"You two know each other?" Regina asked with a suspicious voice as the thief wrapped his arms around her in a hug that she couldn't return. Not with the sight she could see over his shoulder...drawing her attention like a beacon whether she wanted to look at it or not. Neal. On the ground. His chest still, without life. She peeled herself away from Robin Hood, and moved to stand next to the man on the ground.

"What are you doing here?" she heard David ask behind her.

"Emma called," Regina stated. "We were investigating until…this happened." This. Death. Death for life. She peered into Baelfire's lifeless face and couldn't help but stoop down to reach out and brush a bit of hair off his forehead. He still felt warm, maybe not as warm as he should have, but she could tell that it hadn't been long since he'd died. So where was the life that he'd bought? Why was he here alone? "I already called an ambulance to take away the body."

"Neal!" she snapped, Regina's words ringing loud and clear through the fog in her head and touching a nerve. She could be patient and exercise tolerance on the best of days but right now she just didn't have the strength to put on a happy face and pretend like Regina and Hook didn't make her tense. "His name is Neal," she insisted, not being able to bear the thought of Baelfire being nothing more than "the body" as she'd said. Especially if she was the only one here to stand up for him. She only wished she knew why.

"Where is he?" she asked Regina. "Rumple, where did he go?"

"He was gone by the time we got here. _Neal _was alone."

"Regina…" David went on, talking to Regina but she honestly didn't hear what they said. She couldn't. She felt as though she'd gone deaf, or someone had sucked all the sound out of the air. Rumple was gone. He'd left. He'd left?! His only son was gone, dead! And Rumple had just left him there? Lying in the dirt? No! It just didn't make any sense to her. She'd seen him before, when he thought Neal was dead. It had destroyed him. Watching his son actually die before his eyes. He shouldn't have been able to leave. She should have found him here, in the dirt with his son, or sitting on that log over there keeping vigil over Neal. He should be here! So why wasn't he?

"I never thought I would have the pleasure of making your acquaintance again," she glanced over her shoulder. David, Mary Margaret, and Regina were still talking with each other, but a distance away so that she couldn't hear what they were talking about. Robin Hood was there though, still looking at her like he expected her to converse with him.

She understood. The last time he'd seen her was the day she'd gone down to the dungeon to set him free. He didn't know that the last time she'd seen him she'd convinced Rumple to spare his life. He was kind. He was kind then and he was kind now. He just didn't know exactly what she was going through, everything that had transpired after he'd left her in the castle.

"I am happy to see you again," he insisted, "though I am sorry it is under these circumstances." These circumstances. Neal. "Did you know him?" he inquired, when she didn't answer him. She felt like it was another one of those moments. Those moments that required words that she didn't want to use or say because it would only hurt. But she had to say it, to get used to saying it. Because at the end of the day it was already real.

"Yeah…I did," she muttered, her voice only a whisper. She didn't know him well and that was one of her biggest regrets. She wished she knew him better than she did, she wished they'd had more time to develop whatever it was they did have. She wished she could remember what happened between them in the last year. "He was Rumple's son," she muttered staring down at him.

"Yes, the son of the Dark One. I had the pleasure of meeting him once myself." She glanced over at Robin Hood, utterly confused. She'd never seen Robin Hood here, in Storybrooke. And by the time she'd met Rumple, by the time she'd crossed paths with Robin Hood in the Enchanted Forest, Neal had been worlds away.

"How?" she asked gently.

"He arrived in the Dark One's castle, seeking out a way to get to Neverland," he insisted looking him over sadly as well. "He needed the assistance of my son and I, though I haven't seen him since he left for that place."

Yes. She'd nearly forgotten about that, but now that she mentioned it she did have a memory, somewhere, of the day he told her about Neverland. Of how Neal had been alive but gone through a portal and arrived in the Enchanted Forest before finally going after Henry in Neverland. She'd never asked how it had happened because there was more going on at the time and all she'd really cared about was that he'd gotten back to his father. But now that she knew it made sense. And it certainly explained why she hadn't seen Robin Hood in Storybrooke before. He'd been one of the few still in the Enchanted Forest. This curse was his first time in Storybrooke then, just like the woman in the shop yesterday...was that really only yesterday?

"You are still under the employment of the Dark One, then?" Robin Hood stated suddenly. It was half a question, half a statement and she couldn't blame him for the assumption. He hadn't been in Storybrooke to hear the rumors, to know. She knew something about Rumple's life, about his son, what other conclusion was he supposed to draw from what he knew about her time as his maid. His caretaker.

"A lot's happened since we last met," she muttered offhandedly. She'd managed to fall in love with the beast that had once held them both captive, even though she'd sworn against it to his face once. She'd gone on adventures. Endured decades of imprisonment. Started a new life with the man she loved, learned his secrets, his life, his past. She'd held him through the first loss of is son, missed him when he'd confronted his father in Neverland, and took care of his son by vowing to find him when he was missing…a task she'd failed.

A memory sparked. Another task. A promise that she'd made to Neal the last time they'd spoken in that hospital room. _"Before we left the shop that day you said you'd take care of him…you still will, right? When they find him, you'll take care of him?" _She swiped a couple stray tears away from her cheeks at the memory. Baelfire's hopes or Rumple's fears, she wasn't sure. But she'd keep her promise, above all else. "Still a caretaker," she concluded to herself and to Robin Hood. She was still a caretaker, just a different kind of caretaker that he last knew her as. And right now, the best way she knew to take care of him, was to take care of Neal.

She sat down upon the log, the one that she'd pictured him keeping vigil on, and watched for him. She didn't move as Robin Hood wandered away from her, exchanged words with the others and then disappeared again into the forest. She sat still as the lights from the ambulance flashed and the big vehicle pulled up alongside David's truck. She kept her eyes focused on the man before her as a sheet was laid over him, a gurney was brought over the uneven terrain, Neal was placed into a black bag, and wheeled away into the back of the ambulance.

She stared at that spot a long time after he left, or at least it felt like a long time. She felt as though she was in some strange state of suspended animation. She could feel her tears, there behind her eyes, the pressure of a long miserable cry pressing against her, but it didn't come. She just sat. Just stared. Just watched the empty spot before her. She'd woken up this morning thinking Rumple was dead and Neal was missing. Now Neal was dead. And it was Rumple missing. Things were backwards and upside-down and too tangled to sort out!

She hung her head down when Emma finally showed up again. "It's done. He knows," was all she said as she joined the group. Henry. She'd told Henry. At least now Henry knew the truth about his father. The rest would come. Maybe someday he'd know the truth about her, about Regina, his grandfather, and…

Shoes?

She stared down at the ground around the log, the thought creeping in as she looked at what had caused such a strange thought to pop into her head out of nowhere at a time like this. No. It wasn't out of nowhere. It was there on the ground. Footprints. Man's footprints. Dress shoes. No, she was no expert in shoes, but Lacey was and she could easily see that they certainly weren't hiking boots or sneakers like she'd expect to see from someone who'd been hiking in the woods. They looked like dress shoes, like the kind he wore with his suits.

She popped out of her seat without giving the command to, looking at the place they were. Faint impressions, two, right there next to each other as if he'd been sitting on the log, just as she'd imagined. She'd been right then. He had been here! She glanced around and found more. Ones that were pressed deeper into the ground and were strides apart as if he'd been walking away. Not just from Neal though. It was the complete opposite direction of town, the shop, home, away from everything that he knew! She followed them for a bit before she saw…another set?! A different set, almost one right on top of the other. Shoes with heels on them, like hers. Women's shoes?! Walking in the same direction?

"What's that way?!" she asked suddenly, calling over her shoulder for the others standing behind her.

"What?" Regina questioned.

"What's that way?" she asked again, pointing in the directions the footprints were going. "These here," she pointed them out as Mary Margaret came to stand beside her and examined them, "where are they going?"

There was silence for a beat before she heard David sigh. "The witch's house."


	20. Part of the Team

They questioned it; stood around for what felt like hours staring at the footprints. She wanted to follow after them, to find him, but David grabbed her after a few more steps and said "we shouldn't get any closer."

"I don't understand," Mary Margaret whispered behind her, "Gold went back to the witch's house?"

"Well maybe he was running from something," Regina stated.

"No," Mary Margaret commented looking down. "Whoever made these was walking. It would look different at a run," she explained showing off the tracking skills that she'd mentioned earlier.

"Then maybe he needed something," Regina guessed. "Maybe there was something at the Zelena's house that he wanted, something magical."

"Unless she captured him!" Mary Margaret fought.

"How can anyone capture the Dark One?!" Regina questioned in a low sarcastic voice, like it was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. "He's the most powerful practitioner of magic that ever existed it's impossible for someone to hold him against his will!"

"Belle, do you have any explanation?" Emma asked.

She did. She did have an explanation, but she didn't understand it. Mary Margaret was right, there was only one condition under which he would go back to imprisonment, the cage that David had told her about and that was if he had no choice. There was a way for that to happen, but she wasn't sure the way existed anymore. She hadn't seen or heard, or even read, anything about the dagger! The last she'd seen it, it had vanished. But the last she'd seen of him he'd vanished too! Had the dagger returned with him? Had the book mentioned that? She strained her memory but couldn't remember. She didn't think it had, but had it just been too obvious that the writer hadn't thought to include it, or did that mean that he had come back but the dagger hadn't? She didn't know, couldn't understand, and couldn't think about what to say or do. But she wasn't standing here alone, not like she'd thought days before. She didn't know what to say or do, but maybe they would.

"There's always the dagger," she explained, hoping that she was wrong. "But it disappeared after Pan. The powers of the Dark One are acquired by killing the previous Dark One but he killed himself, so...I suppose it's always possible he doesn't have magic anymore," she suggested with a shrug.

"Rumpelstiltskin? Without magic?!" Regina scoffed still looking like she couldn't believe the conversation she was having. "Now there's a thought," she growled.

"Do you have any other ideas?" she questioned blandly. She could practically hear her rolling her eyes and had to try hard not to snap at her again. Today had used up all the patience that she had. Put simply, she wasn't in the mood for sarcasm or unproductive jests. She wanted her Rumple back. She wanted to know where he was and, if he really was still being held captive, how? And if he wasn't she wanted to understand why he would have gone back there instead of home to her.

"The book I read," she began glancing at Emma, the one person who had talked to him and might be able to help, "the entry had talked about bringing him back, but nothing that I can recall mentioned his dagger. Did you see it? Did he say anything about it?"

"We didn't exactly have time to talk," she explained as if it was obvious. "Mary Margaret was in trouble, I left him with Neal when I realized."

"Did you see him use magic?" she questioned.

She took a deep breath and shook her head, suddenly looking more overwhelmed than she could handle. "I don't know, it all happened so fast." She understood, it had been a long day, she knew that and she didn't mean to question the girl she was just desperate for answers.

"Emma," she reached forward and put her hand on the girl's shoulder, in a soothing less demanding gesture. "Try to remember," she encouraged desperately. "Please try."

Emma sighed and clenched her jaw together nervously. "I think he tried to, or was going to," she said after a minute. "Neal and Gold were one body before I separated them, I think he tried to do it again when he saw Neal was dying." Of course he had. That had been how he'd kept himself safe in the first place. She should have thought of that herself. He had to have his magic. It wouldn't make sense if he didn't. Why would something magical restore a magical being without their magic?! And why would someone hold the Dark One captive if he wasn't magical any more. He'd be just a man, an ordinary man, there would be nothing to gain by imprisoning him then!

No, he had his magic. He had to. But then, how could Zelena overpower him? The dagger. She kept coming back to it. Over and over she kept coming back to it. It made sense but it didn't. The book mentioned nothing about the dagger. Maybe the rules had changed? Was that possible? That because he'd destroyed himself the dagger no longer existed and the magic within him no longer made him the most powerful practitioner of magic, as Regina had said?

She stared at the footprints set out before her. She didn't know what this was or what was happening but she knew one thing. They needed answers, they needed them now, and there was only one person that could give them to her and she had the footprints telling her exactly where he'd gone.

"I need to go," she insisted. "I need to talk to him."

But no sooner had she taken a step and David had sealed a hand around her arm again, stopping her. "Go where exactly?" Wasn't that obvious?

"To him!" she motioned sharply at the footprints. "He'll know! He'll know what is happening and what to do about it!"

"You want to go break into Zelena's house?!"

"What else is there?"

"Whoa!" Emma was suddenly in front of her, holding her hands up blocking her path to Rumple. "Let's just think about this for a second. Alright?"

"There is nothing else that we can do!" she informed her, feeling her own desperation arise in her chest. Boldness. One of those traits she'd admired in Lacey. It was showing through. But there was something more there too, another of Lacey's traits that she often didn't allow herself to feel. Selfishness. He'd been gone. The last time she'd seen him he'd died. She wanted to go to him, to talk to him, to see him with her own two eyes and know for a fact that he was really alive. She knew that she'd want to do this even if they knew exactly what was going on. Yes, besides the logical reasons, she wanted to see him for selfish reasons as well.

"He'll have the answers we need, I just need to talk to him!"

"I'm not going to let you do that," Regina said from over her shoulder in an authoritative voice.

She shook her head, she wasn't afraid of Regina. Not anymore. "How do you plan on doing that?" she questioned. "Cast a spell to stop me? Put me in the asylum again?"

"No," Mary Margaret insisted stepping forward and taking one of her hands in her own. "No, she's not. We know this can't be easy for you and I can't imagine how you feel but think about this for a minute." Finally she felt the tears that she'd felt earlier building behind her eyes threatening to spill out. She'd experienced too many emotions not to be upset and hurt. She just wanted to see him, to figure this out, free him, and take him home.

"We know you want to see him," David added. "But right now we don't know where Zelena is. We don't know how powerful she is, or if she's with Gold or not."

"By now she might know her cover was blown and gone into hiding, she could have taken Gold with her," Emma added.

She crossed her arms over her chest and tried her hardest not to hear what they were saying. But she did, and worst of all she understood them. They had good points. They made sense. She didn't want anything to stand between them, anything. But just because she didn't want anything to, didn't make it so. As much as she hated it, they were right.

"Can we find them?" she asked, looking around at the small group around her.

"We don't even know if they're gone," Emma pointed out. Another terrible point. He could be there. He could be right back where they knew he last was for certain, in a cage like some kind of animal or slave. Or she could have collected him and taken him somewhere. Somewhere that she didn't know about. Which was worse? Where did that leave them?

"And we can't just go charging in there like Prince Charming did yesterday," Regina pointed out making a gesture towards David. "Last time we went off half-cocked and took the bait Zelena won. For all we know now she's using Rumple as bait and going after him would only be playing into her…again." She cast David an unhappy glance, annoyed almost, as if she was convinced he was the stupidest person she'd ever met and couldn't believe David had actually…what had happened? Now that she thought about it she had no idea what her accusations meant!

"What exactly are you talking about?" she questioned. "What happened the last time you uh, 'took the bait'?" They looked between each other, Mary Margaret and David exchanged unidentifiable glances. A glance that hurt because she could tell that they'd spoken volumes to one another in just that simple glance. It wasn't in a language anyone but the two of them had understood. She'd had that once. She had the opportunity to have it again, nothing was going to stop her. She was tired. Tired of being left out. Tired of being overlooked. Either they were all working together or they weren't. And right now she had more incentive to work with them than against them. Hopefully they would agree. Now that they knew it concerned Rumple, hopefully they would see it was now her concern as well.

"What happened between you and Zelena?" she asked, looking straight at David, her voice demanding an answer. It was a trick she'd taken from him, from the days she'd listened to him make deals. This situation was anything but easy and no one could manipulate difficult situations better than he did. She could stand to adopt a few of his own bold tendencies.

"Zelena stole my courage," David finally admitted to her.

"Stole your courage?" she clarified, happy he'd finally answered her but confused as ever.

"Yeah, she broke my sword, took the other half, which apparently means she stole my courage."

If she hadn't just seen a spell in one of his books today that told her how to remove a persons virtue she wouldn't have believed it. It didn't make sense why someone would want to take another person's courage, Zelena's boldness seemed to have spoken for itself. But their silence as she looked around them told her that it was true. "Why would Zelena want your courage? What's it for?"

"I don't know," Regina practically growled at her as she paced uneasily. "Which is exactly why we can't go charging in there! No…no, this...this requires delicacy. We need more. We need to know what her game is before we can start breaking the rules. We need strategy, a plan, information,." Her belly did an excited flop in her gut. Whether or not she was being baited by the Evil Queen she didn't know and frankly didn't care. Rumple was a hostage. David's courage was gone. Neal was dead. All that mattered was the possibility that came with that statement.

"I have that! Information," she pointed out. An entire collection of "information" in her basement and with the wickedness that this woman seemed to bleed she suspected that she was the only one who had what they needed. What they all needed. "You tell me what I need to find," she assured them, "and I can get you all the information that you need. All the information that I have."

"In return for what?" Regina snarled, a gleam in her eyes that she recognized. It was the look she had when she was being smart, when she was on to something. It was distrust. Which was strange for her because she felt like between the two of them she should have been the one distrusting her instead of the other way around. Still, the Queen advanced on her with that smile, as if she was suddenly amused by something. "I'm not a fool. You want to be the town's new Mr. Gold? There's a price. There's _always_ a price!"

She opened her mouth to snap at the woman, to tell her that there wasn't, that she wasn't the "new Mr. Gold" as she insisted…but she couldn't. Her hand felt the gold ring that she'd continued to wear on her finger, the one that reminded her of him and suddenly she realized there was a price. It was simple, but essential. She only hoped they'd agree to it because at the end of the day she wasn't Mr. Gold or Rumpelstiltskin. Neal was dead and she knew that whether or not they agreed she'd end up helping in order to prevent more loss. But if she could help and benefit from this herself, that would be the scenario that suited everyone.

"Information," she stated. "An equal trade. The information I have for what you have. I want to know what's going on, what's happening, with Rumple, with the town, with Henry. What you know I know, we all know," she amended quickly. She didn't want it to appear to be her against them, she wanted to be a supplement to whatever they were each doing. Either they were in this together or they weren't. If they turned her down, at least she'd know where she stood with them.

"Done!" Mary Margaret stated almost immediately. And she was pleased to see that the only one who appeared to have a problem with it was Regina. She could handle that. She'd have to. Something was better than nothing.

"Take me back to the shop," she nodded. "I'll get started right away."

"Later!" They all lifted their head in Emma's direction. She'd wandered away unnoticed somewhere in the middle of their discussion. And although she appeared to be listening, there was a distant look in her eyes, like she wasn't there completely with them.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret questioned.

"Later," she repeated. "We'll start later." Her face was stony, emotionless. Or maybe just in that place where there was just one emotion completely overpowering everything. Sorrow. Sadness. Grief. Was she the only one to see it? Was it because, underneath her bold attitude, her determination, her anger and fear, she felt the same things too? "There's something we have to do first," she told them. "For Neal."


	21. Filling Up Empty Time

There was something that had to be done first and, as much as sitting around and waiting grated against her instinct, she understood. With everything going on, with Henry not knowing what was really happening around him they could hardly take time. Neal need a proper burial. Immediately. For the most part Emma and Snow took care of the arrangements, although Mary Margaret seemed to have taken her request for information seriously and called her throughout the next day to discuss the plans they'd made. In the end, all she'd really helped with was asking Granny if they could use the diner afterward as a place to meet and collect themselves. Granny wanted to go to the funeral, but Ruby, who admitted she didn't know Neal well enough to be there, promised she'd stay behind and set up.

The day seemed to drag on and on. They were making their plans at Mary Margaret's and she felt trapped. Helpless. Useless even, despite the way that she surrounded herself with books. When they'd brought her back, after they'd decided they couldn't just walk in and get Rumpelstiltskin, David and Emma had personally escorted her inside the shop and she told them that she was just going to spend the night there, just in case they were wrong and Rumple was still free, she wanted to be there in case he came back to the shop, but Emma and David tried to convince her to stay at Granny's.

"You shouldn't stay here," David informed her, "or at the house, not alone."

"He won't hurt me!" she insisted, though she wasn't so sure they were concerned for her safety as they were concerned she'd leave the moment they left her alone and go after Rumple. She wouldn't, but she had to admit that the temptation was there. It seemed like every few seconds the thought popped into her head and the only thing that stopped her from going to him was the arguments they'd made, reason after reason, passing through her head. Still she didn't know how to prove to them that she wouldn't go against the decision they'd all made. Or to convince them that curse or no curse, missing dagger or non-existent dagger, whichever the case, Rumple wouldn't hurt her. "He would never hurt me. I don't know what's happening but I know Rumple and he'd never harm me!" Their love had triumphed over his curse once before and she was confident that given the opportunity it would again.

"It's not him we're worried about right now," Emma explained gently. "Zelena is loose, it's not just you, no one should be alone until this is fixed." She took another hint from Rumple, adopting a trait that could be irritating or endearing depending on the situation and didn't move a muscle, she just crossed her arms over her chest and stubbornly refused to leave without words. She was willing to guess that in this case it was irritating for them, but she was determined. She couldn't think of a single reason the witch would have to kill her. Kidnap her? Certainly! However she wasn't terribly fearful of that because in her mind that would only bring her closer to Rumple. But kill her? No. She couldn't think of a single reason that she would do that. True loves kiss broke his curse but not here. And the only two people in the world that knew that was an option, was the pair of them.

"Fine," Emma muttered eventually before slipping her jacket off. She obviously understood she wasn't going to give in. "There's a glass jar around here somewhere, it looks empty, do you know where it is?" She didn't know what Emma was thinking, or why she was asking but she did know what she was talking about. In this shop free space was not an easy thing to come by. An empty jar wasn't just an uncommon thing, it wasn't possible. Except for the one empty mason jar that she'd spied on a back shelf several times in the back room. Only when she pulled it down for Emma she found that it wasn't empty. It looked empty. Smelled empty. Felt empty. But it didn't sound empty. "This is invisible chalk," Emma said reaching in and holding something, predictably enough, invisible in her hands. "It's magic. We used it against Cora. She was strong so it didn't keep her out completely but it still took her time to get through. I'm guessing it won't be strong enough to stop Zelena either but it should give you some time to run. Draw a line across the front door after we've gone I'll try and cast a protection spell, like I did last time."

"You only did that once," David pointed out.

"So?! I'll do it again! Or we'll find Regina, she'll do it." She hadn't liked the idea. A protection spell over the shop! It seemed like it was too much. But it was clear that it was the only way that they were going to let her stay there that night. She wasn't happy about it. They weren't happy about it. Therefore, it was a compromise they could all be unhappy about together. So she did as they asked, promised to call if there were problems, drew the line after they left, and a few minutes later the walls around her seemed to shimmer letting her know that she was alone for the night. Finally. Completely. Truly alone.

She'd tried to sleep. She honestly did. She unpinned her hair, let it fall over her back, pulled the sheets of the cot back, and tried...but she just couldn't. Too much had happened today. Too much to let her get any real sleep. She was sad, upset. The tears seemed to flow freely from her eyes and land in loud overwhelming plops on the pillow. Tears for Baelfire. Tears for Rumple. Tears for this crazy incomprehensible situation that they suddenly found themselves in. And tears for herself.

For being alone. For spending what she could only assume was a year's worth of lonely nights all by herself when he'd been alive! She didn't want to do it anymore. She was tired of being alone, tired of being on separate journeys, tired of constantly worrying about where the other was and what they were doing, for all the loss they'd both endured. He was out there. Somewhere. Broken. Grieving. Destroyed. And she was here. No. She couldn't sleep, not when there was work to do.

So she got up and brought the books she'd been going through earlier over so she could begin doing what she did best: reading. She went through each and every one of them looking for anything she could find at all on the Dark One and on the dagger. Sometimes she had help and found his handwriting scrawled across the stories or legends that she found, sometimes she found tiny paragraphs added in confirming or denying the stories clearly. She read over the passage on the key that Baelfire had used to bring his father back over and over and over again. She read it to the point that she had memorized the two paragraphs and could repeat them verbatim. There was nothing. Nothing about the dagger, or the kind of strength the Dark One would have, or any reassurance that he would come back with or without magic. By the time the sun came up her eyes were sore, she was getting a headache, and all she wanted to do was be proactive, do something more than just sit around and read.

Still she held back.

For Neal.

And only for Neal.

She broke the protection spell, walked over to her old apartment, showered and dressed in some of the clothes that she'd left over there for Ariel. The apartment still showed no sign of the mermaid. Her notes for her to find her looked to have gone untouched, and she couldn't even begin to think about where to start looking for the girl. Who knew how the curse, or curses even, had effected the mermaid?! And she supposed that she really had no proof that anything bad had happened to her in the first place. She had woken up in the house that belonged to Rumple, for all she knew Ariel had woken up wherever it was Eric was living and was perfectly fine. For all she knew, as much as it saddened her to think that the little relationship they'd started might have ended, their paths were done crossing, and she'd see her one day walking down the street perfectly happy and healthy…or never again. Still, she made a mental note that as she continued to do her research, to look into mermaids and see if her books told her anything good or bad.

As Mary Margaret and Emma made plans for Neal she made herself busy in the only way she knew. She looked for the dagger. She wasn't sure how things with the curse worked, why certain items were able to cross over into this world, like their tea cup and her grandmother's necklace, while others, like the Golden Fleece in his collection and Baelfire's other clothes, not just his shawl, were left behind. She didn't know exactly why the curse put them where they were. Last time she thought that the items had gone to the places that they "belonged". In her mind it was why she had found several personal belongs in Rumple's house while she'd been rotting away in the asylum, it was why she had woken up in his bed as opposed to her old apartment. She'd always belonged with him, the curse knew that, so it placed her with him. But things were different this time around. Something's were exactly where they'd left them whether they belonged there or not. For example the clothes that she still had in her old apartment. They belonged with her, but the last place she'd left them was the apartment and that was where they'd reappeared.

She started with the shop, because it seemed like the most logical place to begin. She didn't know why it worked the way it did but she knew that things had a funny habit of just turning up in this shop, whether they belonged to him or not. She felt like it was days ago, when she'd searched for the compass. But at the same time, looking for that compass felt as though it was eons ago. She knew it was a long shot, she'd torn the shop apart again then and she knew that if she'd seen the dagger she would remember it! Still, there was no harm in giving things a second look. The safe, the counters, the walls, the cabinets, the cases, she even found a few new hidden crevices she hadn't discovered before. She now firmly believed she might just know this shop as well as he did, but the only thing that told her was the dagger wasn't there.

Against the wishes of David and Emma she went back to the house. She packed a bag with a few days' worth of clothes and something appropriate to wear for a funeral, then collected even more books from the basement. Part of her felt bad for doing it. Rumple wanted these books, these tools shut away from the world and given her access because he trusted her to guard the space no matter what happened. But she had no choice. These were special circumstances, important matters. She'd keep the books safe at the shop and as soon as all this was settled she'd return them to his collection. They both would. For now, she needed them in order to get to that point.

The Shop was clean.

The house was clear.

Her apartment was empty.

That knife was simply nowhere to be found, and she honestly didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Did it mean that the dagger didn't exist anymore? Or did it mean that it was in someone else's hands? No. No, she refused to think about that, refused to accept that he wasn't just overpowered but enslaved. There seemed to be no way. Neal had the mark on his hand! Chances were Neal had been responsible for bringing Rumple back. If anyone had the dagger it should have been…Neal! The one place they had a connection to but hadn't checked.

As the day had came to an end she found herself standing in Neal's room at the inn. In the room that was still ready for him, but he would never return to. It was just as it had been when she'd stopped by days ago. Clothes in the dresser, phone in the bathroom, devoid of all personal objects just as his father's room was. The place felt like a tomb and rummaging around in it felt like grave robbing, but it was what she had to do, her last chance, her last hope. She was careful, much more so than she had been at the house and the shop. When she took something out of a drawer she put it back where she found it. When she went through T-shirt after T-shirt she refolded everything. Books, clothes, she checked everything and at the end of the day came up with the same thing that she had at everywhere else and since she'd first woken up back in Storybrooke.

Questions.

Confusion.

Nothing.

She jumped as her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket, a signal that she had a text message. It was from Emma, yet another reminder of exactly what she'd managed to lose.

_Funeral tomorrow-9 a.m._


	22. Enough For Two

Emma stopped by again at night and asked if she'd had any luck with figuring out what was going on. She'd informed her that she'd done what she could, searched for the dagger, and found nothing. But she insisted that she had no intention of giving up. Emma left and only a few moments later she saw the shimmer that she recognized as the protection spell coat the walls.

She hated the protection spell. Hated that shimmer and everything it meant! The first thing she'd done last night was find information on the spell that was supposed to be keeping her safe and she was aware that it broke safely when she opened the front door, she wasn't trapped, but in her mind it didn't just keep her inside, it kept him out. Though she knew he was strong enough to break the spell eventually, there were too many variables for her to know for certain if he could get through. How strong was he now? Was the witch still at her house? Was he in the cellar? Was he farther away? Closer? He'd freed himself once so he could do it again! Couldn't he?

She'd find out in the morning. It was a strange stray thought but one that she knew was a fact. No matter the variables, no matter where he was, he was still the smartest man that she'd ever met. He'd know tomorrow was Neal's funeral. Somehow he'd know. He'd come for Neal. And if not? Then she'd know for sure...

The next morning felt wrong. I felt like dread and sadness. It felt like death.

She broke the protection spell, saddened to see that there were no signs of anyone even attempting to break in, and as she had the day before, she showered across the street at the apartment and dressed in the black clothes that she'd packed up yesterday. There was still time, but she found herself folding into the car and driving out to the cemetery early any way. She wasn't the first. Emma was there standing off to the side with Mary Margaret. Everything was already prepared. A space was cleared, a large, deep grave was open over the earth, and there, over the brown gash, a black shinny coffin hovered ready to be placed forever into the ground.

She watched. Stood alone by the tree as she kept silent vigil, her eyes constantly sweeping the area around her looking for anyone hiding in the woods. No. Not just anyone. Rumpelstiltskin. He should be there. Any minute now. He'd come running out of the woods into the cemetery. He'd see the coffin and collapse out of grief as any father should. She'd pick him up, stand with him, take him home, and they'd grieve together. Any minute now. Any minute!

People began to appear. Slowly. People she expected, like Granny and Hook, David with Henry. And people that she hadn't expected and was surprised to see. Robin Hood showed up, with a small group of men and a small boy hiding behind their legs. Mother Superior, the fairy called "Tink" that had helped them the night Pan cast his curse, the dwarves, those that weren't missing, Regina, and a few boys that she didn't know, a group of teenagers, without parents, looking…lost. The lost boys. The one's they'd brought back from Neverland. They'd come, too.

Tears filled her eyes and she fought to hold them back to control herself to not lose herself. But they began to slid down her cheeks with or without her permission. The lost boys were here. But Rumpelstiltskin was missing. Gone. It felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She'd been living in denial, hoping because she couldn't stand the thought of giving into the fact that there wasn't much of it to live by. Rumpelstiltskin was missing, he wasn't here.

She couldn't deny it anymore. He wasn't free. He wasn't hiding somewhere. Something was wrong. In fact, as people began forming a small semi-circle around the open grave, she began thinking they were so far past "wrong" it wasn't even showing up in the rear-view mirror! People were missing, memories were gone, a curse enacted, and the Dark One was somehow, impossibly, being held against his will. Neal was dead. Things weren't just bad. There was evil in this town. And the one person that had the answers, that always had all the answers, wasn't here to give them. Or bury his only son.

Somehow she found one of Granny's arms wrapped around her, guiding her closer to the place she wasn't sure she wanted to be. The place she had to be. There was something going on, something very bad, but they were here. Nothing was going to get better until this was resolved. And if she was it, sad, painful, upsetting as it all was, if she was the closest thing that he had here for a parent she needed to be here. For Neal. For her. For his father. She wasn't just there as Belle. She was the representative of the family that had never been.

"Love comes in many forms, in many ways, over the course of our lives," she glanced over and saw Mary Margaret standing tall and proud, speaking for the group just as she had for Archie's funeral. Queens were still Queens no matter where they were and she was happy it wasn't her that had to make a statement. She couldn't have, not with the rock of a lump she felt in her throat.

"We're born and we are loved immediately and without question by our families. We don't choose this love, but it does choose us, and under the care of this tender love we grow and flourish." She blinked her eyes and let more tears cascade down her face. It wasn't always true, families didn't always love their children, as Snow White said, but it was true in this case. "_The happiest moment of my life,"_he'd once told her, _"was when his mother placed him in my arms. And the worst was when I broke our deal and let go."_He'd loved him all his life. This was going to kill him all over again.

"But as we continue to grow we make certain choices. Choices about who we are, where we're from, what we do, how we'll live, and most importantly of all who we love and how. We give away the love that we have received, and we still continue to grow. But when we die we find that the lines blur together. Those we love by choice and those we are loved by without choice gather around remembering who we are, sometimes in very different ways than we would ever guess and with or without us there, love grows stronger...even in death it does not leave us.

"Some of us knew Neal Cassidy well. Some of us wish we'd known him better. But we are all joined here by a love for Neal and the many, many different ways that he touched all of our lives. Our words today will be small offerings, fractions of the valiant life that Neal lived, of the lives he saved, of the worlds he conquered. We honor his memory today and the many lives he lived as we lay him peacefully to rest."

She glanced up at Mary Margaret, shocked as the breath was stolen from her. She knew those words. She knew those words very well and what was supposed to happen after them but she hadn't expected this kind of burial, this kind of honor for Neal! They were the words used at the burial of royalty, usually royalty killed in battle! It was an honor. The greatest honor someone in their world could ever hope to have, which was why it was always reserved for royals. That Neal should get those words…she held her hand to her mouth as she stared out over the casket. No. They still weren't enough. She'd trade the richest burial, the highest honor, just to have Neal back.

"Neal Cassidy!" Snow exclaimed, carrying the tradition on, "he was a true hero."

"A, uh," David shuffled his feet and cleared his throat. He glanced sadly down at the ground and she watched as his hand found Mary Margaret's which he promptly tucked into his arm. "A good man," he finally concluded, the beginning of their remembrances.

"A strong lad," Hook stated clearly. "Always resilient, even under times of great…trial," he added glancing over toward Henry. Of course. They were choosing their words carefully, for a boy who had never known his father. Who had no memory of the adventure they'd been on and the great barriers he'd crossed to ensure his safety, to be sure he was standing here today, healthy and happy…and without a single reminder to show for it. Henry needed them for that today.

"A decent tipper," Granny stated as a small chuckle and snort rose up from the crowd. "And one of the friendliest strangers I've ever met," she added sincerely.

"A lost boy that was never really lost," said Tink.

"A man willing to make great sacrifices for the family he loved," Robin Hood stated.

"A loyal friend."

"A brave man."

"Someone who always fought for what he believed in."

"A son loved by his father," she stated her voice a strained whisper around the lump in her throat. "And a man willing to accept those around him even when he didn't know them."

"A confused boy," Emma muttered, her voice cracking as she watched her grip on Henry tighten, "who helped a lost girl and gave her the opportunity to be happy." She smiled as she rested her cheek against Henry's head, but could see the tears she was fighting to hold back. She knew they'd loved each other.

"The many pieces of Neal Cassidy. May we honor him with our lives, the ones he's left behind!" Mary Margaret concluded after a moment silence. She cried and this time didn't bother to try and hold it in. The lives he'd left behind. His life and hers.

The casket was lowered into the ground and there was a nervous shuffling as people began to sniffle and cry around her. She heard it hit with a dull thud of earth moving, adjusting to the weight.

Something caught her eye. Hook moving, as Emma stared deadly into the hole in the ground. She watched as he stepped forward silently. He picked up the shovel and scooped up a small amount of earth, then with a final sad glance tossed it into the grave.

Her heart hurt. She couldn't imagine what he would have felt, how standing here would have affected him. It had to be the most painful thing in the world, losing a child, it had to be unbearable. But she didn't know what she'd lost or what exactly she should be feeling. She wished she'd known Baelfire, Neal, better, wished they'd had longer, or she could remember the time they spent together in the Enchanted Forest. As it was, their relationship in her mind consisted of only a couple of days; a few conversations where she'd known that deep down, no matter what had happened or how he said he felt, he loved his father. They'd had beginnings of a trusting relationship, friendship maybe, and something more, something she couldn't quite explain because she didn't have the entire story. Something that had started when he had held her up after Rumple died, gone on in the Enchanted Forest, when Hook said she'd run away and he'd gone after her, brought her back, and ending with the promise that she'd made him not long ago. She was going to take care of Rumple. Because she'd promised she would. Because his son wanted her to.

Hook's motion set off a chain reaction. David and Mary Margaret, hand in hand, stepped forward. She let him lift the soft ground, her belly too much in the way, and tossed it into the ground. One by one they all followed. Regina. Robin Hood. A couple lost boys. Tink. Mother Superior. The dwarves. Granny. Finally she strode forward to take her turn. No, not hers. Theirs. Everyone else's amount had been small and gentle. She was doing this for two though, two sets of overwhelming emotions. So she dug the shovel angrily into the pile provided for her and hefted a large heavy amount onto it. Too much for one. Enough for two. His anger. Her confusion. His grief. Her sadness. His hopes. Her wishes. All of it rested on her shoulders. And all of it crashed down over Neal's coffin...a dream laid to rest.

She placed the shovel back in the dirt, maybe a little too forcefully, and Granny beckoned her to come join her again. There were only two left. And everyone knew it. She watched with agonizing sorrow as Emma rubbed Henry's back and the boy who loved his father but didn't know it stepped forward and added his small heap to the pile without emotion before turning back and offering the shovel to his mother.

Emma stepped forward, but paused, fiddling with a necklace that she wore, staring into the grave. Then, suddenly, determinedly, like she'd convinced herself to just get it over with, she scooped up a small bit of dirt, stared painfully into the pit, and tossed it in.

It was over.


	23. Where Denial Ends and a Fight Begins

As planned, the diner was open and ready for the funeral guests that afternoon. They piled in quietly and calmly with heavy hearts and shocked looks on their faces. Ruby and Granny kept busy with drinks and food and eventually, after a short period of time mourning gave way to quiet conversation. Anyone walking by that glanced in on them might think there was a party going on, but it certainly didn't feel like a party. Emma threw darts angrily and she glanced over as Hook gazed longingly at her, as if considering whether or not he should approach her. David and Mary Margaret spoke to one another softly. A small group of young men, the lost boys that had wanted to attend were gathered together in the corner. She offered them a weak smile.

"Thank you for coming," she managed to choke out, her voice scratchy from all the crying she'd done in the last couple of days. She couldn't remember any of her time with Neal, but if it were her, she'd have felt honored that they'd come.

"We wanted to pay our respects," one of them answered.

"Here we go," she glanced over her shoulder and saw Granny approach them with a tray. "Hot Coco for the boys and coffee for everyone else," she stated handing drinks out to all of them.

"You do know some of us are older than you are, right?" one of the boys smiled admirably at her.

"Not in this diner you're not," she replied quickly. "Drink up. Today you rest and tomorrow it's back to work."

She glanced quickly between Granny and the boys, confused. "Work?" she questioned.

"We woke up at the inn, right where Emma had left us after we arrived here from Neverland."

"And in lieu of my house being turned into Granny's foster home for lost boys there are chores to be done!" Granny added. Of course there were chores, she just hadn't realized that was the place that the lost boys had been staying, but she supposed it made perfect sense. Where else were they going to go?

One of the taller boys leaned down toward another with a smirk as Granny finally finished handing out drinks and left them alone. "At least until we find a place without a warden," he laughed.

"I heard that!" Granny called over her shoulder unamused. But she knew better. She'd seen the way that she looked at the boys, and the way they looked at her. The tension was a game, friendly banter. The boys liked her and knowing Granny she liked having them around. She may have been rough around the edges, but she liked taking care of others. That combined with all the spare rooms she had made their situation ideal.

The boys continued to talk with each other and she turned away, letting them have their conversation. She took her coffee and moved through the crowd, through Hook and Henry, before she sat down at a table. A table for two with an empty seat across from her that threatened to bring more tears to her eyes. That seat shouldn't have been empty, they should have been here together, at the cemetery together. She couldn't deny it anymore. He wasn't here, and that meant that something was wrong…it was much worse than she expected.

Yet she'd never know it looking around the room. Hook and Henry had left together. Regina, Tink, and Robin Hood were having what appeared to be an awkward but pleasant conversation. And Emma was with her parents. The room seemed sad, as it should, but she felt as though they should have been feeling something else, something darker that was appropriate given their situation. Zelena on the loose. Rumple working for her…and missing his only son's funeral. She watched as Emma reached out and was engulfed in her parent's arms. The hug looked comforting and supportive. It looked nice and she was sure it must have felt nice at a time like this. She wanted that. She wanted to feel supportive and support the others, to mourn, but she just couldn't shake the feeling that there would be time for it later. After they had-

She jumped suddenly as the door to the diner swung open with more force than she thought possible. The world seemed to stop, her stomach didn't just drop, she felt as though her soul had jumped out of her skin as she looked over the unbelievable scene before her and her brain put everything together, every detail making her blood chill more and more.

Zelena.

She was here.

In the diner.

And in her hand was the object she most wanted to see anywhere else in the world.

The dagger.

"My condolences!" she witch shouted out with mock grief. "So sorry I missed the funeral but I could never pass up a wake," she commented looking around at everyone in the diner as if they were meat to be consumed. Her throat went dry. How was it possible that she'd stood face to face with this person, let her grasp her hand in a friendly gesture, and not seen her sinister nature reflected in her eyes? She felt sick, dirty, her hand infected. How was this possible?

"Oh, did I miss speeches?" Zelena went on a sickly sweet smile on her face as she moved around the room with authority. "Shall I make one? I mean, I am after all responsible!"

Suddenly Emma made a lunge for the woman, like she was ready to fight, to hit her. "Emma no!" Mary Margaret cried, reaching out and grabbing her daughter's hand, pulling her back before she could do anything. "Too many people will get hurt," she explained tensely.

"Listen to your mother," Zelena warned in a reprimanding voice, waving the dagger at her as if it was a corrective, threatening finger. "She's right. Anyone who tries to interfere with my plan is going to have to deal with the Dark One!" she growled, showing her teeth as if she was a rabid dog.

Her heart slammed against her ribs as guilt reached into her and squeezed her lungs making it hard to breath, to act, to say anything! How could she be so ignorant? She'd fooled herself. Lost time in denial. She'd been right. Rumple wouldn't miss his son's funeral for anything…unless he had no choice. And she felt like the stupidest person in the world for denying that Zelena having the dagger was a possibility for this long. Rumple was alive, but now she knew he was in far worse shape than death...death would have been preferable to someone possessing that magic, that power, over him!

Zelena took a threatening step toward the Charming family. "Don't!" David shouted as he moved in front of his family, his hand automatically guarding the child within his wife, "come any closer."

"Don't worry," Zelena hushed, as if he was a terrible idiot, or maybe just a mindless child. "I'm not here for your baby…not today anyway." Her stomach rolled again as she resumed her circling, her eyes scanning each person in the room. She had lived with Rumpelstiltskin for months in the castle, hated him terribly before she'd fallen in love with him, but he'd never made her skin crawl the way this woman did. She knew what darkness felt like, and this woman was long passed darkness.

Out of the corner of her eye Regina stood, the only motion in a crowd of people that seemed too shocked and stunned, too frightened, to do anything. "Then why are you here?" she questioned loudly, a glimmer of the former Evil Queen pulsing through her voice.

Zelena looked her over but didn't have the slightest look of the fear that most people from their land had when confronted with her. "Now that my cover's blown I can finally pay a visit to my little sister!" she answered.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" Regina questioned.

"Why you of course, Regina," she clarified in a quiet whisper. She wouldn't have heard it if the diner weren't so deathly still and silent, but at the moment she could have heard a pin drop, or could have until this bombshell spilled out of her mouth. She'd heard her right, she knew she had by the mutterings that spread like wildfire through the crowd. Zelena was Regina's sister?! Regina had a sister! She knew she didn't know the woman well but Rumple did, he'd known Cora as well. If there was another wouldn't he have known about it, wouldn't he have mentioned it?!

"What?!" she heard Emma question, just as she was.

"I'm an only child," Regina pointed out. She was probably the only one in the room that hadn't once wavered in front of the woman, hadn't shown the slightest ounce of interest or fear in her remark.

"Cora lied to you, Regina," Zelena proclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm your sister, half if you want to get technical."

"Why should I believe anything you say?" Regina refuted easily, stating a fairly decent point that they should probably all have considered. Why should they trust anything she said?

"Oh, well you shouldn't!" Zelena mocked as if she understood. "It's a lot to swallow, which is why I've brought a gift to help."

"I don't want a gift from you," Regina laughed, the smallest crack in her carefully constructed exterior showing through. She was feeling something. She certainly wasn't as at ease as she'd tried to convince them…maybe even tried to convince herself.

"Oh but you shall have it," she whispered quietly again. She knew she had a captive audience, people watching her, hanging on every word that dripped from her poisonous mouth. She knew she didn't have to speak loudly to be heard. "You see my gift to you is this sad, sad day. Use it to dig into our past, Regina. You need to learn the truth and you must believe it. And then…" Zelena stepped closer but the Queen didn't back down, though she thought she could see her eyes shine, a fight to hold back tears. "Meet me on Main Street tonight, say…sundown," she couldn't see her face but her voice was lower, deeper, and far more sinister than before. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She wasn't giving Regina a choice.

"And then what?" Regina questioned, her façade right back in place, hiding behind an amused unflinching glare.

"Then I'll destroy you," Zelena informed her.

She watched as Regina seemed to respond to the threat, stepping forward, still amused but also angry. "This isn't the wild west."

"No, dear," Zelena agreed with a small shake of her head, "it's the wicked west!" Suddenly she turned back to glare at the crowd watching them, the dagger still clutched in her hand like it was a life line. She knew its power, knew that with it she was a threat, and she was cowardly hiding behind it. "And I want everyone to be there to see the Evil Queen lose!" she stated as if she was announcing a spectacular event instead of the challenging threat it actually was.

Regina smiled but it was fake. She was amused again but for the briefest moment there was something else behind her gaze. Fear. "I don't lose," she insisted nonetheless.

Zelena only laughed for a moment before stepping forward. Somehow even her laughter has a way of sounding threatening. "Neither do I," she stated advancing on Regina again. "One of us is about to make history. See you tonight, sis," she said finally before turning to leave with a laugh.

Suddenly she noticed how close she was to the dagger! It was silly knew. Zelena had magic, she didn't. The witch could throw her across the room with only a flick of her hand...but she didn't need much time to defend herself, she just needed enough time to get Rumple here. If only she could move, reach out and grab it rip it from her hands, summon him to her side…

But before she could do anything Zelena looked at her. It happened so fast, a quick wordless exchange between the two of them. There was a wild look in her eye, her gaze taunting as if she knew exactly what she was thinking…and she pulled the dagger away before she could do anything.

The door slammed behind her as she left, the crowd silent for a moment as if they were afraid that she'd come back…or maybe they were just figuring out what to do with what had happened. It was a delicate situation. Anyone would know that just from what had happened. But she knew, maybe more than just the average person on the street, it was more than delicate. She didn't know how she got the dagger, but she knew the situation is a lot worse than it seemed before. Much, much worse.


	24. A Lone Wolf in the Pack

There was silence immediately after Zelena left. Everyone seemed to be staring at the door waiting for something to happen, something to go wrong again. But when it didn't, sheer panic broke out over the group.

The dwarves immediately swarmed the Charmings and began asking questions about their brothers, what just happened, and what they planned on doing about it next! The Lost boys found their way over to Granny who gathered them around her as if she was a mother hen and tried to get them to calm down and stop talking so she could figure things out. Half the crowd surrounded Regina demanding answers, questioning what she'd done this time, and if she was actually working with the witch and this was some trick to gain power! It was Robin Hood who finally stepped forward, put his hands up and tried to calm them down in a kind gentlemanly way, but it was useless. The crowd was terrified, restless. They understandably wanted answers, she wanted answers, but more than anything she wanted to go find that witch and pry the dagger out of her fingers if that was what it took!

The dagger.

She glanced around at the Charmings and Regina, they had experience with the dagger didn't they? They knew the problems that came with Zelena having it in her possession. Right? She was out of her seat in a flash, fighting through the crowd, the dwarves, pushing herself toward the Charmings.

"That was Rumple's dagger," she managed to whisper in David's ear. "I'd know it anywhere. We have a very big problem!"

"Yeah," David breathed looking around, "we kinda got that." Suddenly he moved around her and stood on one of the booth's bench, just as he had when they'd awaken in Storybrooke a week ago. A week! Had it really been that long?!

"Everybody!" David screamed over the crowd, getting their attention. "Please just calm down. Whatever it is that Zelena is threatening she isn't going to do until tonight. We have that long to figure out what to do and trust me we are going to figure out what to do!" Was it her imagination, or was he staring at Regina. She glanced back over her shoulder at the former Evil Queen who seemed to be glaring at the Prince. No. It wasn't her imagination.

"Until then," David went on, no longer needing to scream, "go back to your homes. Stay off the street and stay together. You know what she looks like now, protect yourselves, and please let us handle this!"

She didn't know who exactly was included in the "us" that David had mentioned, but who it wasn't became obvious fast enough. Granny sent the lost boys back to the inn, told them to make sure the others were there then lock the door and not leave until they got back, Ruby, who had been in the basement and missed the encounter entirely, was sent away with them, confused as ever, so that she could guard them until Granny got home. It didn't include the dwarves, who decided she'd already taken enough of their brothers and wanted to warn the rest of town. The Blue Fairy went with them, to tell the other fairies. The few stragglers that she hadn't recognized left after them. Finally, Robin pushed himself off the counter last and stated simply "I've got to go into the forest to warn my men."

The moment the door was closed Regina stepped up to Emma. "Henry," she demanded. "Where is he?"

"Hook took him," she stated, still looking shocked at what happened. "He'll be safe with him."

"Course he'll be safe with a pirate!" she spat sarcastically. Then suddenly the Queen rounded on her. "And you!" she screamed. "How the hell did she get that dagger?!"

"I…" she swallowed nervously, not liking the look in her eye or the wrath in her voice because it reminded her too much of when she'd been held captive. "I…I don't know, I'm just as clueless about what happened as everyone else."

"Well, I'd expect your boyfriend to keep better track of his own possessions, he does for everyone else!" she yelled, turning away from the few of them that were last. Her back was still straight but the gentle wandering she was doing around the room was as close to a stressful pacing her royal majesty was going to get. She glanced around at who was left. Regina, David, Emma, Mary Margaret, and the woman called Tink. She didn't know if David's "us" had included her, but because of that dagger, in her mind, it did. Zelena had Rumple's dagger! She couldn't leave now.

"Obviously there is more to this woman than we thought there was," David commented looking around at everyone with his hands on his hips.

"You think?!" Regina snapped.

"Regina, yelling isn't going to solve anything," Mary Margaret urged.

"Well it sure as hell makes me feel better," she stated, taking a seat at the counter. "The next time someone claims to be your long lost sister, you can decide how much yelling helps you!"

Mary Margaret walked over to the counter and took the seat next to her, with David's help. "You really think she's your sister?" she asked.

"I don't know!" she yelled again, her hands tightening in frustration. Despite the noise, despite the fact that she'd rather be anywhere in the world than next to the angry version of the Evil Queen so found herself following Emma and Tink over to the counter and sitting down, though around the corner, so she didn't exactly have to sit beside her. "I certainly didn't grow up with a sister!"

"Regina, calm down," Mary Margaret encouraged again.

"Again, if you have a better way to handle something like this, I'm all ears!"

"I do," she glanced up and saw Granny walking toward them behind the counter. She'd nearly forgotten that she was there. But now she pulled out a glass, set it on the counter in front of the frustrated Queen, and poured her some whiskey. It might not have been her idea of "handling something like this" but Lacey suddenly had a lot of appreciation for the woman's sense of humor.

"And you're sure Cora never said anything about her?" David asked in a stressed tone, pacing behind them as if he was interrogating her. He was obviously worried, obviously concerned, but they all were.

Regina only baulked at the question. "I think I would remember if my mother told me she had a love child with a scarecrow." She had to fight not to make a comment at the woman. David's redirection might not have been in the best tone, but it had the right intention. At least his questions were helpful for all of them, unlike Regina's frustrated ramblings. She understood that her world might very well have been turned upside-down but fuming by herself and spouting out angry words at anyone trying to help wasn't going to fix this. It needed to be a group effort, something they did together. And if Zelena had Rumple's dagger, then Regina needed her more than she knew.

"It doesn't matter if Zelena's your sister or not, she wants you dead. Any idea why?" Emma interjected loudly.

"I never met her before today," she insisted, still on edge.

"Doesn't mean you didn't do something to piss her off," Emma retorted.

"You did manage to step on a lot of toes back in our world," Tink added.

"Well, none of them were green!"

"Then there's the missing year," Granny pointed out, stating the obvious. "maybe you did something to her then."

"Stick to the lasagna lady," Regina lashed out harshly. Granny crossed her arms over her chest and cast a glance at Emma before she glared at her, a touchy look from a woman that didn't back down from anything. She only clenched her jaw together, getting more and more nervous with each sarcastic and defensive remark. There was nothing worse than feeling backed into a corner, trapped. And if that was what Regina was feeling, then it wouldn't turn out well.

"It's starting to sound an awful lot like you're all on her side," Regina snapped unexpectedly, looking down the row at Snow, Emma, and even Tink. Then, suddenly, when no one responded, she got out of her seat, reaching her inevitable breaking point. She knew it wouldn't be pretty, but which "her" was she referring to? Granny? Or did she really think they were hoping Zelena would win the showdown?

"Where are you going?" Emma questioned irritably over her should as Regina made her way toward the door.

She stopped at the words, but only to pull her jacket over her shoulders. "To find out exactly what this witch thinks I did to her!" she snapped before leaving the diner and the rest of the group behind. Her stomach twisted. The last thing they needed was for one of their number to go off on their own and try to fix things…especially if that one person was the Evil Queen.


	25. The Dark One's Curse

Emma gave a frustrated sigh the moment that Regina left the diner and pushed herself off her own seat.

"Oh, Emma not you too!" Mary Margaret argued as she headed toward the door.

"Sorry, but the last thing we need is for Regina to go off and play the Lone Ranger. Whether she likes it or not we need her. I'll talk some sense into her and bring her back," Emma stated before leaving the diner herself.

Mary Margaret only sighed, like she wasn't happy with anything at the moment; Regina's attitude, Emma's departure, and least of all Zelena. She couldn't frankly blame her after these last two days. Neal dead. The curse still unbroken. Rumple held captive. The Dark One under Zelena's control. Regina had a sister? A sister! Who wanted to murder her in front of a crowd tonight! Things really couldn't get any worse, could they?

Suddenly Emma stormed back into the shop…alone. "She's gone," she stated looking dazed. She fought the urge to drop her head against her arms in defeat. Yes, apparently things could get worse.

Mary Margaret heaved another disappointed sigh and stood up. "Don't worry," she said gathering her coat, "we'll find her."

"Mary Margaret-"

"It's fine, David. Regina needs time but she shouldn't be alone right now, especially not when Zelena is threatening the rest of us at her expense. We'll go back to the apartment and get changed, then track her down." And before David could put up a fight the two women were out the door, leaving him looking like he was about to walk after them.

"Am I the only one who doesn't trust that woman?" Granny asked, still hunched over the counter. There was only silence as David sat down in Mary Margaret's spot. No. Granny wasn't the only one that still had that issue with Regina. But she had to admit that having the Queen on their side was better than having her against them. Only right now, she wasn't sure if Regina was with them or against them, and in her mind that was worse than having her work against them.

"Regina means well," Tink said after a moment. "I'm sure she thinks what she's doing is the right thing and she'll be back tonight."

"I wish I had your confidence," David said with a shake of his head. "But history tells me otherwise…I'm going to go check on the girls, then figure out a way to protect the town just in case Regina's intentions are less than noble and she doesn't show up tonight."

"With Rumple's dagger you might need to find a way to protect the town even if she does show up," she warned, the words flying out of her mouth without her ever giving them permission to leave. But they were true and the look David gave her before he stood up told her that he knew it was true too. No one understood that dagger or Rumpelstiltskin the way she did, if there was anyway she could help this situation, it was fighting with them, not lurking around on her own as the Evil Queen had. "Give me twenty minutes and I'll meet you on the street," she added.

"Thirty," David amended, "I've got to talk to my family."

She nodded, then suddenly had a spark of a memory that felt like a million years ago; a memory of standing at the town line as they all prepared to go out and find Regina without an inkling of where to begin. Rumple had. _"Regina is a creature of habit,"_ he'd responded confidently, _"if she thought she was protecting Henry she'd go to the one place where she feels absolutely safe…her vault…it's where she's hidden all her magic, she feels strongest there."_ Henry might not have been able to remember her but Regina did. If she didn't yet she'd eventually see that to defeat Zelena was to protect Henry. She imagined that if she needed to feel anything right now it was safe and strong. It was worth a shot.

"Be sure to tell them to check her vault," she called out before David left. He glanced back at her, then nodded, understanding, and left.

"If it's ok with you I'd like to help," she glanced across the table at Tink who was looking interested in the entire affair. She didn't know the woman, had never had any interaction with her beyond that night at the grave, but they were going to need all the help they could get. She couldn't turn it down. So she nodded, told her she had something in the apartment that she could wear to move better in, and left the diner.

The town appeared unchanged by what was going on, the word hadn't quite got around yet to the point that everyone was panicking, and she unlocked the library and her apartment with ease. It was still empty. No sign of Ariel. No sign that she'd been there at all since the curse broke. No sign that she'd ever see the girl again. She ignored the gut wrenching feeling she had in the pit of her stomach at that thought and strode into her bedroom with Tink on her heels. She could worry about Ariel tomorrow. Today she had to focus on what was going on now. On Zelena. On Rumple.

"Here," she muttered reaching into her closet and pulling something out for the blonde haired girl. Lacey was a great help for eyeing up sizes and they were fortunate that they seemed to be about the same. "You can wear this. I'm sorry I don't have much more, but I'm living in three separate places right now."

"You have three homes?" she questioned, looking at her shocked. She opened her mouth to correct her, to say that she didn't, but it was true in a way. She had keys to their home, the cabin, the apartment, as well as the shop and library. Nothing was in her name officially, but having the keys to his life...they were as good as hers.

"It's complicated," she muttered instead, wishing she could give a better explanation in the limited time they had.

"It's fine," she smiled pleasantly, as if she understood the urgency, then one at a time she began to take things off the hangers she'd handed her. "I think I'll just take the jacket and scarf actually, thank you."

She nodded and looked the strange woman over. They didn't have a lot of time, but they had enough for a simple exchange. "You're name…it's Tink?" she asked.

"Tinkerbell actually," she corrected shrugging into the jacket. Tinkerbell. She should have known that, should have remembered! She had an entire shelf dedicated to Peter Pan in the library, she should have realized what Tink was short for. Though the stories had gotten everything else wrong about the boy, it appeared they'd gotten the relationship between Pan and the Pixie wrong as well. "But Tink is just fine," she went on. "You're Belle, right? I saw you before, when we got back from Neverland, outside the tomb! You're involved with the Dark One?"

She nodded, "Yes, he's my…" her what? She'd never actually had to answer that question before, or use one word for their relationship. What could she say? Boyfriend? Like Regina had said. She didn't like that word, it wasn't deep enough, it belittled what she felt for him. But what else could she possibly say. Her almost fiancé? He was her true love?! It was the truth but somehow that didn't sound right either, they'd surpassed the simple bonds of that long ago! So what was he supposed to say exactly? What was he too her?! There were simply too many options to choose from: boyfriend, lover, soul mate, best friend, partner…all that and more! What was the word for that?!

"We're involved…" she repeated finally, thinking it was just as good as anything she'd thought of. "Deeply," she added though.

"So you know what we're up against?" Tink nodded, interested, "with the dagger, I mean."

"With the dagger, yes. But not with Zelena, I've never met her before now. Just read about her in my books."

"Maybe you wouldn't mind filling me in?" the woman requested in a serious business-like tone. "I didn't have a lot of interaction with the Dark One in Neverland. If I can be of help in any way I'd like to but I need to know what I'm dealing with."

Her mouth went dry at the request. He'd told her about the dagger one night, in secret, when they'd moved it from his safe up into the clock tower for safe keeping. And of course she'd read since then, when she was researching what the triangle on Neal's hand had been she'd stumbled upon a few facts, and even more myths just as Rumple had predicted the night that they hid the thing. _"There are very few people who know about this dagger. And what they know is mostly myth and legend," _he'd said. No, he'd never exclusively told her not to tell anyone about the dagger, but she'd been able to read between the lines easily enough that night. The less people that knew about it the safer he was…

But everything was different now. The dagger, it seemed, had changed hands since that night so many times that she could barely keep track of it or remember who knew what about it! It was important to keep it safe then, to keep "the wrong person" from finding out about it and using its power against him. But the wrong person already knew about it, had somehow collected it for herself, and was using its power against him the way she suspected he'd always feared. He wasn't safe anymore, he was in danger. And the dagger…it wasn't exactly a secret before today, but now that Zelena had strode into the diner flaunting it around like a new piece of jewelry, the rules had changed. Until they got the dagger back, things would never be as they were. They wouldn't be the same even after they got the knife back. The time for secrecy was over. And the information in her head might very well be the difference between fact and myth, between success and failure.

She swallowed nervously and nodded her head, knowing what she had to do. "The dagger," she began, "it's the knife that contains the power of the Dark One. It's the key to everything. Whoever holds the dagger controls the Dark One, powers or not," she explained, purposefully leaving out the bit about how Rumple had to be killed for another to obtain the powers. It simply wasn't important at the moment…she hoped.

"So he could kill any of us," Tinkerbell clarified.

"If Zelena commanded it…." She really didn't like this conversation. _Really _didn't like it, because she knew the answer to that question and the words left a bad taste in her mouth. Of course Rumple could kill anyone without much trouble, his power was strong, arguably the strongest in all the realms! One book she'd read had suggested that the dagger and its ability to control the Dark One was created simply to give that much power a weakness, something to rein it in! She didn't know if that was true or if it was just another myth but she knew her Rumple. He could kill but he wouldn't want to, he didn't want to! If he'd wanted anyone of their group, or anyone in this town dead, they never would have made it to Storybrooke, they'd be dead by now. He had never used the power to become a killer, he'd used it for his son! Rumpelstiltskin wouldn't hurt anyone, he simply didn't want to…but the Dark One…the Dark One would have no choice. He'd kill indiscriminately and take her Rumple down with him.

_"I could kill you without a moment of hesitation if it was commanded of me,"_ he'd warned her that night.

She'd only shaken her head and denied it, adamantly. _"You could never hurt me!"_

_"I could, Belle…I assure you I could." _No. She still didn't believe that he could hurt her. Their love was far more powerful than his curse, it was its own special breed of magic! If he was ever commanded to harm her he wouldn't be able to because of the love they shared, because Rumple would over power the Dark One and protect her. But that immunity didn't extend to the world around her. She could be safe, but he could decimate the town without a thought...or a choice.

"Yes," she answered suddenly, hating the words in her head. "If Zelena commanded it, he could destroy the world for her."


	26. The Perfect Plan

David met the pair of them on the street, as promised, as soon as they were changed, and suddenly, as they launched into their discussion, she felt every bit the princess, the Queen, that she was born to be. Or rather the one she'd always wanted to be but knew she would never have been allowed to be. She'd only ever had that feeling one time, when the entire group had gone to Neverland and left her in charge of Storybrooke. She'd been the one to make commands then, to come up with ways to fortify the town. Now, she was doing it again, only David was by her side. A Prince and a Princess, preparing for war. Even with everything that had happened, she couldn't deny it made her stand a little taller.

"We should block off both ends of this street, make sure no cars can get through just in case word hasn't spread by then," he suggested.

"These roads here," she pointed to the intersecting streets, "if we can't block them off we should get someone to stand watch, turn people away."

"Zelena wants a crowd," Tinkerbell added.

"If Regina shows up I doubt she'll care," David commented.

"If Regina doesn't show up we'll need to make sure the streets are as clear as possible," she muttered to herself, still David obviously heard her.

"We don't have that many dwarves left," he nodded. "Maybe closing the street off that much is giving her too much space-"

"You want to contain her."

"-reign her in, make her feel a little claustrophobic."

She agreed whole heartedly. The last thing they wanted was to give Zelena all the room in the world, maybe by narrowing the space she had to cause trouble, it would create problems for her, give the advantage to Regina in a fight. Of course it wouldn't make any kind of difference if Regina didn't show up, or if Zelena pushed whatever barriers they established aside. The Dark One's magic wouldn't be contained by road blocks or dwarves, and frankly, with Zelena, they had no idea what to expect from her. They hadn't even known who she really was a few days ago. The two of them on the same side, willingly or not, could be disastrous.

They amended their plan, restricting the area they would block off to only one square of Main Street instead of the entire length. They discussed the possibility of posting dwarves nearby to turn people away should they approach, Tinkerbell had only just suggested there might be some magical remedy to keep people away when someone called out for them.

"David!" Emma cried from across the street, Mary Margaret following after her. "Did you figure out a plan?!"

He nodded and began crossing the street to meet his daughter. "If we position someone there, there, and there," he began pointing to the places they'd agreed to block off, "we'll have the whole street covered."

"I'll talk to Blue," Tinkerbell suggested, picking up her previous thought, "see if we can get-"

"No, you heard Zelena," Emma interrupted her, "she said no interference! She'll probably order Gold to level half the block if we try something before she has a crack at her sister." And he would do it, she knew he'd do it because he had no choice. She hated that.

"So they really are sisters?" Tink asked.

"She found a letter in her vault confirming it," Mary Margaret answered. The news didn't seem to sit well with David, who began pacing the street, worry and concern oozing out of him.

"Where is she?" he asked, "Regina?"

"She disappeared," Mary Margaret informed him. "Something in the letter upset her." That wasn't exactly hard to believe. If she ever got word that she had a family member she'd never known about, no matter how the news was delivered, she'd probably be pretty thrown off too. If the news came from the family member threatening to kill her the same day and confirmation of that news came from nothing but a letter, she'd be a little more than thrown off.

"Should we try to find her?" Tink asked.

"She was pretty clear she didn't want any help on this one," Emma muttered with worry in her voice, but also annoyance. It was beyond understandable. The Evil Queen was trying to change her ways to be seen as something other than Evil and the first time the town was relying on her to show up she disappeared! Yes, she could easily understand the desperation and fear in her voice. She really didn't know what to do next, or tonight. None of them did.

"Are we going to let her walk into this fight alone?" David questioned. He was confused but also completely serious. The words were just as much a suggestion as they were a question. He'd be perfectly fine to let Regina handle it on her own. Frankly after everything that the Evil Queen had put her through, if it wasn't for the fact that Zelena had killed Neal, or at least claimed responsibility for it, and was holding her true love hostage, she'd be perfectly fine with it as well. Something in Regina's past had caught up with her, it was a long time coming, and if it was just Regina at risk she'd think it was her problem, go home, and not lose an hour of sleep over it. But it was more than that and she knew that she was better than turning a blind eye to something so terrible. It would be cruel. She'd agreed to work with this group. Regina was part of the group whether she participated with them as one or not. She kept her promises, the deals she made, even if others didn't.

"No, she's gonna get help, whether she wants it or not!" Emma stated as if the answer was obvious.

"But, but you just said we can't interfere!" she pointed out. She wasn't against helping but how to do it would be a delicate matter. How were they supposed to help and not interfere at the same time? It required a plan of some kind. And a good one.

"Because Zelena has Gold on her side we need to remove him from the equation," Emma explained. "It's the only way Regina has a fighting chance. We just need to get his dagger!" She turned away from the small group, upset. That was it?! That was all she had come up with?! It would have been a good plan, not interfering with the sisters, just with her unwilling ally. But it sounded like a goal not a plan. There was nothing in that statement that even remotely resembled a plan.

"You saw Zelena," Mary Margaret pointed out to her, "she practically had it glued to her hand!" And if it were that easy to get the dagger wouldn't she have done it already?! That dagger was…_not _everything.

"Wait, wait," she interrupted. Hadn't she only just thought about this a moment ago with Tinkerbell. The dagger was part of him but it wasn't the Rumpelstiltskin she knew. The Dark One was only part of him, a cursed part. True Love had triumphed over that curse once before, it could do it again. It wasn't the dagger they had to get away from Zelena, just him. If the pair of them were together somewhere, if they were alone, away from Zelena, perhaps they could hold her off. He couldn't enact the orders if he couldn't hear them…better yet, he couldn't be held captive to the daggers magic if he had no magic. Suddenly her heart pounded in her chest as it all fell into place and she knew exactly what they had to do.

"What if," she turned back to the group hoping they wouldn't dismiss her when she suggested it this time, not like they had days ago in the forest. No. Even if they rejected her idea she was going to do it anyway, with or without them. But with them would be much easier. "What if I can get through to Rumple without the dagger?"

There was silence for a fraction of a second, enough time for her to worry that they'd shake their heads and tell her it was too risky again, but then Mary Margaret glanced back at her daughter. "It's worth a try," she surrendered, desperation and a lack of ideas suddenly making her more willing to allow her to do such a thing. She didn't care, it was something, she'd take it! She needed to see him again. This could work! "Regina can't do this alone," she urged with a shake of her head.

"We don't even know if she's still at the house!" Emma argued. "Or if it's protected, or if Gold is still in the cellar. There are too many variables-"

"So we go look!" David encouraged boldly. "That's where we start and we go in with swords, or guns, or magic blazing!"

"Emma," Mary Margaret breathed, "it's better than anything else we've got. What do we have to lose?!" She held her breath as she looked around the group, watching Emma for permission to go, to see him, to get him, to save him! It had to be done. She had to agree, she just had too!

Finally she smiled and took a small step toward her. "Belle," she said calmly, in a tone that was almost condescending, the tone he used when he tried to get her to see his own brand of reason. It never worked, and she always resented it, no matter who was doing it. "Even if you can get to Gold, she'll still have the dagger! How are you going to keep her from simply summoning him right back to her side?"

She couldn't help but smile, because she already knew what had to be done and that meant that going to see Rumple was only a matter of an explanation. "I have a plan for that," she assured her. And that plan was perfect.


	27. Even the Best Laid Plans Can Go Astray

Storybrooke was a dangerous place for all of them at the moment, but especially if Rumpelstiltskin was in Storybrooke with Zelena controlling the dagger. But the answer was simpler than it seemed really. They didn't have to get the dagger from Zelena, they just had to get Rumple away from the dagger, to a place where magic couldn't reach him. Fortunately for them, she knew precisely how to do that. So after they'd decided on a plan, and sent Mary Margaret home, she'd raced back to the shop, found Bae's shawl, and climbed into David's truck.

"We just have to get him to the town line," she explained as they followed Emma's yellow bug out to Zelena's house. "He'll keep his memories, he'll still be Rumpelstiltskin, but without magic he won't have to answer if Zelena summons him. He won't be able to. There is no magic outside of town, he'll be human."

"Zelena's got her flying monkey's guarding the town line," he countered.

"Which is why we have to move fast," she explained. "We have to hurry so she doesn't notice he's gone. So long as she's not ordering him around he'll be able to use his magic to his own advantage, he'll be able to fight them off."

David glanced over at her after a moment and smiled almost hopefully as he thought through the plan. "This could work," he breathed almost amazed that he couldn't find any flaws in the simple suggestion. It could work. It could most certainly work! She just needed to do what she should have done days ago. She needed to see him. To talk to him. She just needed the opportunity to get through to him and appeal to the man, not the curse.

When they arrived Tinkerbell checked for any signs that the house had magic around it, anything that would keep them out or harm them. When she revealed that it was clear, they parked the cars and ordered her to stay put while they searched the house, just in case. They wanted to be sure she was there, or still living there at least, and if not, she figured that she might have left behind some clue as to where she'd gone.

She allowed them to go but didn't stay put. She wandered around the open yard, looking around, familiarizing her settings. If he was here she knew that they'd be pressed for time. The days were short this time of the year, the sun was already going down. Whether or not Zelena knew they were here, they had to do this as fast as possible. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. There. A Storm Cellar. The kind Lacey knew were used to protect people without a basement from tornados. His prison.

He was there. She had no proof, they hadn't come out of the house yet, but he was there. She could feel it! She stared at that door while they were gone, preparing herself for the possibility that she was about to see him for the first time since she'd believed he had died. As much as she wanted to run in and throw herself at him, scream at him for what he'd done, to question him, to kiss him and tell him never to leave again...she knew she couldn't. She had to stay focused. As usual they didn't have time for one another, only the rest of the world. No, it wasn't fair, but with any luck once they got him over the town line, it was only a matter of time until Regina defeated Zelena and he was free. Then they would have time for one another. Then she could scream at him for what he'd done. Then she could question him. Then she could kiss him until the set rose and set again...

"We're clear!" Emma screamed suddenly behind her, she turned quickly to see her running down the stairs. "There's no sign of Zelena, looks like she's still keeping Gold in the cellar!"

Before the words even left her lips she was off. She knew everything she needed to know, now all she needed, all they needed, was him. So without a second thought she ran forward, opened the heavy metal doors, and took her first steps down into the earth. She checked first, of course, to make sure that Zelena wasn't there, to be sure that he was. Was he?

"Rumple?" she called out.

"Belle!" he whispered in recognition and wonder as he got up to face her. He'd been so still, so far away from the light, that she'd almost missed him, but now that he was moving she could see him clearly. Her heart soared. He was there. He was alive. Alive! Truly alive! And her name on his lips made her want to run forward again and hold him tight in her arms. But it wasn't possible, even if she had the time to do it. He was trapped. Trapped in a cage like she might expect a wolf or dog to be kept in. Anger flared in the pit of her stomach, strong enough to overpower her emotions and keep herself together, to keep calm and focused. She wanted him out of there, away from the life Zelena was forcing him to live. Now!

She hurried down the stairs. She could do this, but time was of the essence. Above all she had to remember that. "I've come to free you!"

"No! Leave! Leave!" he begged her, shrinking back onto a small stool and looking at her with a fear that made her heart twist. He'd never looked at her with fear before. She was sure he'd never looked at her, or anyone like that before in all his life! He looked small, like a child. No mask, no hope, no cunning. Just pure fear and brokenness. "You have no idea what that witch will make me do to you if she catches us."

"I'm not afraid," she laughed shaking her head because the words were beautiful to her. No. He wasn't broken. That was the Rumpelstiltskin she knew! He was afraid but it was for her, not himself. That was the man she knew, the one she needed to appeal too. There was hope, she just had to get him to see it, to remind him. "You could never hurt me!" she insisted with another laugh because the thought is the most ridiculous thing in the world to her. How many nights had he promised to keep her safe for the rest of his life?! That promise, one born of true love, surly it superseded an unwilling order from a dark curse by a wicked witch! She didn't need to study magic to know that. She felt it in her heart!

So she opened the door, shocked that there was no lock on it. "No, it's futile!" he stated with pleading eyes. "As long as she holds the dagger, I cannot leave." That was why the door didn't have a lock. She'd ordered him here, to stay in this filthy place! He hadn't had a choice in the matter, lock or not. No! The Dark One didn't have a choice, but Rumple did. He could leave here now, with her, of his own will! She was here to make sure of that.

"I'm not leaving without you!" she insisted.

"It's not worth the risk."

But it was. Anything is worth the risk, especially when she knew there was no risk. He wouldn't hurt her. She was positive of that. He obvioulsy wasn't, but she was. So she reached into the cage, stretching out for him as far as she could because she was smart enough to know not to walk into it. Both of them trapped would only spell disaster, make him more compliant to Zelena's wishes. She couldn't go inside because _that _was the real risk. He had to get himself out, but hunched in the corner of the cage as he was, she could see that he didn't believe he could.

"Just try!" she begged. He looked at her hand then back to her. He wanted to go. He wanted to take her hand and leave so bad! He might even have wanted it more than she did. But he was scared, more for her than for himself. She'd never really seen him scared before, not in this way, it was enough to startle her, to knot her stomach and force her to choke back tears. Nothing ever scared him and she certainly never had. She rarely ever hated a person, but she hated Zelena. For what she'd done to Neal, for what she was doing to Rumple, for how she'd scarred her family.

His eyes told her that he was scared, so she tried her best to make hers as desperate as possible, to convey to him that she didn't just want him to take her hand she needed him to! If he couldn't do it for himself, she wanted him to do it for her. Finally, timidly and slowly, in a gesture that seemed to take an eternity, he reached out for her and she regretted deeply the fact that she hadn't taken her gloves off. She wanted to feel him, his skin on hers the way it always was before, but for now all she could do was grip his trembling fingers as tight as she could, hold his hand securely in her own so that he would see that she wasn't going to let go…that she wasn't going to let him let go.

"You just have to believe in us," she told him when he didn't rise right away, hoping he'd understand. He was himself around her, he was Rumpelstiltskin and not the Dark One. She needed him to be that now! It worked. Or seemed to anyway. He stood up, all the while looking at her like he didn't know if it was a trick or not, as if he was amazed he was even capable of trying to leave. But she wasn't surprised he could do it in the least.

With one big step he had crossed the length of his cell and stood beside her, their breath labored with their combined efforts, nothing separating them but the threshold. They were close again, and she couldn't help but gaze at him as if he was a dream. He was alive. Alive and breathing, and standing before her! The world seemed to slow as he took another step closer, looking at her with amazement, then leaned down as if to kiss her. Her heart pounded in anticipation and all knowledge of what existed outside the small space they created evaporated. She wanted that kiss, needed it to prove to himself that if he could do that then everything would be ok. If he would just come with her everything would be just…

Suddenly he turned away from her, peering over his shoulder as if he couldn't bear to look at her. He muttered something she couldn't quite understand fearfully as she felt his hand tighten and his muscles tense. The giddy fluttering in her stomach died. Something was wrong.

"What?" she questioned, trying to make eye contact with him, to get him to see her again! To get her Rumple back!

"Run!" he shouted protectively, giving her a gentle shove. "Go!"

But before she could question why or what was going on she heard a familiar cackle from the back of the cellar that made her sick. They'd been alone when she came down here. They weren't anymore. Zelena stood there, watching them…the dagger in her hand. "Don't mind me," she muttered sweetly with a shake of her head. "Carry on, I was just enjoying the show!" She fought to keep air in her lungs at the threat in her tone. This was her fault. She'd forgotten, hadn't remained focused, been too swallowed up in seeing him to remember that she had to get him out fast. And now it was too late. Rumple wouldn't kill her, he couldn't, but Zelena could and would if given the chance. She was his weakness and after losing Baelfire, she couldn't allow that to happen.

Without a second thought she followed orders, turning and scrambling up the stairs, leaving Rumple behind. "Belle!" Emma yelled as she appeared in the light.

"Over here!" David yelled.

"It was a trick!" she warned running to them, trying to convince them to get away before the witch trapped them all. "She's toying with us!" She ran into the first pair of arms that she saw, Tinkerbell, and turned back to see what she'd left behind, if Zelena was chasing her. No. Not Zelena. She hadn't been brave enough to come out herself, merely sent her lover to do her dirty work just as she'd threatened…as she would tonight.

"Zelena sends a message!" he yelled at them across the yard, every muscle on his body tightened as if he was fighting against himself, his own voice, with all the strength he had...it still wasn't enough. "She will face Regina, without interference! The next time you try to stop her…I will kill you!" The threat was there but the hatred wasn't. He was regretful, and though he didn't want to do it, she knew he would. He wouldn't have a choice. His eyes plead with her and, though she didn't like what she saw, she got the message loud and clear. David and Mary Margaret weren't the only couple in Storybrooke capable of communicating without words. She'd failed, the only thing she could do was carry out his silent request and save those around her from him…for him.

"We need to leave!" she cried, not able to hold her disappointment in. "We need to leave now!"

"Can't we-"

"Now!" she yelled at Tinkerbell, pulling on her hand and racing back to the cars they'd brought, all the while she continued to through glances over her shoulder at the man she was leaving behind. He watched them go, watched them pile back into the cars, and stared at them through the panes of glass. The message in his eyes changed, quickly and softly, for her and her alone.

_I'm sorry._


	28. The Feeling of Failure

She'd failed.

They'd failed.

And as they fled the scene, things only seemed to get worse faster. David handed her his cell phone when he got a text message from Mary Margaret so that he could drive as fast as possible back to town.

_Did it work? _

Her gut tightened at those words. She'd been depending on them, on her, just as hopeful that she'd succeed as David had been, as she had been. Disappointment, failure, it was the worst feeling in the world…well, almost the worst. Knowing that she'd let Rumple down, that she'd just left him there after promising not to leave without him, that was the worst feeling in the world. And now…now they were doomed.

_Any sign of Regina? _

She typed back in response. She hoped the words were enough, that even if she thought David was the one texting her, since she'd asked about Regina then she'd understand that things hadn't gone well…and that was putting her failure nicely.

_Nothing yet. People are starting to crowd Main Street, the sun is going down. We're running out of time._

They weren't running out of time, they were out of time. They'd done everything that they could, there was no more time to create a plan, to figure out some other way to help! Short of tackling Zelena and trying to snatch Rumple's knife out of her hand there was nothing else that they could do. Nothing but hope that Regina showed up as Zelena had ordered. The fate of the town rested upon the shoulders of the Evil Queen...tackling Zelena herself didn't seem like such a bad plan next to that gamble.

The sun was nearly down, the sky dark by the time they arrived on Main Street, or tried to at least. There was a crowd gathered in the road, right in the center of the square that they'd blocked off for tonight. People she recognized and people she didn't were standing huddled around in the cold with jackets and gloves on and she couldn't possibly fathom why they had come. To see the Evil Queen fail? To see her lose or not show up?! What on earth possessed a person to come to a showdown where the challenger had threatened to kill everyone who showed up if the opponent didn't!

"David!" Mary Margaret called as the four of them waded into the crowd. He reached out for her and she looked at the four of them, concern etched into the lines on her face. "Rumpelstiltskin?" she asked glancing over at her. She opened her mouth but couldn't seem to make the words come out. She'd failed. He was still a slave to the Wicked Witch. She'd failed. The Witch was still a threat. She'd failed. And the small shake of David's head, the disappointed look on Mary Margaret's face, told her that they all knew she'd failed.

"Have you seen Regina?" Emma asked Mary Margaret, changing the subject right away to something that was important, the one thing that might actually be able to help them.

"Not since the vault!" she insisted as they continued to press their way through the crowded intersection. No Rumple. No Regina. Failure.

"If she doesn't get here soon that witch could take it out on all of us!" Tinkerbell stated, pointing out the obvious. She'd do it. She knew she'd do it. And she knew who she'd use too. She fought the urge to cry and hang her head. Her fault. All of this. Yet another time she'd tried to be a hero and failed.

David stepped forward thought, not missing a beat. "Let's get everybody out of here before that happens," he muttered them before stepping into the center of the crowd and looking at everyone around him. "Alright, listen up! We need you to get back to your homes-"

"No one's going anywhere!" someone called out over him. Not someone. Zelena. She'd know that voice anywhere, it was the one that had ever called her Mrs. Gold and she wished that she hadn't.

The crowd turned toward the voice and parted for her…for them. Zelena. Decked out in a fine dress and hat far more suitable for their world than this one. And behind her, looking even more disheveled, more tortured than the last time she'd seen him was her Rumple. She couldn't take her eyes off him. She ached for him, for the most basic of his needs. He had a way of looking menacing, he always had, and he could stand in a threatening posture without giving it any thought, but there was more to him. He didn't want to be here, didn't want to do anything like this. It was in the small shuffle she saw in his footsteps, the way he avoided not just her gaze, but everyone's gaze. And his suit! It was a terrible thing to worry about, to feel sorry for, but she knew him, she knew how he liked to constantly look put together and in control, being put on display for the entire town to see, under the orders of another, looking as broken as he was! She could cry.

"This show needs an audience," Zelena commented walking forward into the middle of the crowd, which made room for her as if they might get burned just being too close to her. Even David stepped back into the crowd to stand protectively by his wife. "Out of my way Munchkin!" she snapped at Tom Clark, who seemed to be the only one too stunned to move.

"I'm a…dwarf," she heard him correct nervously.

"That's even worse!" she stated obnoxiously. But she couldn't pay attention to her, because as he moved into the circle with her, he finally looked up at her. He looked sad, but probably more disappointed. They were communicating again with silent looks that she could read clearly. _Why are you here? _he seemed to ask. _Why did you have to come? Why couldn't you find a safe place to hide?! _She didn't fear him and tried to tell him that she still knew he wouldn't hurt her, but it was hard to be happy and reassuring when she knew that she was afraid for everyone else. They were on opposite sides of a battle field, he didn't want to be, she didn't want to be…how could any person, witch or not, do this to another human being? How could she have failed and let this happen?

"Where is she? Hm?" she heard Zelena ask the crowd. "Don't tell me, she's a coward!" she stated giving another of her chastising false chuckles. "Well, this isn't good, for any of you. If my sisters not here in five minutes!" she shouted out over them, "I'm going to let the Dark One off his leash."

Rumple closed his eyes at the comment, as if he wished he couldn't hear it, couldn't see or feel anything going on around him! It was easy to see just how angry and upset he was. He didn't want to do it. She'd failed him. She'd...

No. No, she wasn't responsible for this. She wasn't the one using him against his will, the one toting that dagger, using it like a shield against the world! It was Zelena! Yes, she'd failed to rescue him from her, but she wasn't the one responsible for this, wasn't the one letting down humanity.

Finally she glanced over at Zelena, tears of hate for her and torment for him flooding her eyes. Now she was the one who was angry. Who was upset! Leash. Like a common dog. She'd kill to step forward and slap her herself, try to take the dagger as she'd thought about on the way over. But she couldn't. Zelena was worked up enough as it was, ready for a fight. The last thing she needed was more provocation. Rumple wouldn't hurt her, but he could hurt others here and neither of them needed that on their conscious. Until they got the dagger back, her actions could very well make things worse for him.

She'd failed to liberate him from his prison. But the best thing she could do for him now was put on a brave face and stand across from him with a comforting gaze. The best thing she could do for everyone around her was not make things worse. The only she could do now, like everyone else, was wait.


	29. When Evil Meets Wicked

The minutes were like agony as they ticked by slowly. Zelena eyed everyone with odd gazes. Smirking at Mary Margaret and her swollen baby. Glaring at Emma. Rolling her eyes at Tinkerbell. And breaking into a wide smile when she met her own gaze. Her chest tightened at that smile. She was looking at her like she was a child, foolish for what she'd attempted, like she should be embarrassed about what had happened, what she'd seen her try to do. But she couldn't be embarrassed, she wouldn't be! And as far as she was concerned, she wasn't the one initiating school yard brawls for attention. She had tried to save the love of her life the only way she knew how, she had nothing to be ashamed of...except for the fact that she'd failed.

So she focused her attention on Rumpelstiltskin, trying to get him to look at her, to focus on her, to take the little amount of comfort that she knew her presence would offer because they had to take what they could get! But he wouldn't. He seemed to be actively avoiding her eyes and the eyes of everyone around him as best he could. For the first time in her life she found herself hoping to see Regina, hoping that her magic was strong. If it was this could all be over. She could take him home with her tonight. If not…she didn't want to think about that possibility. Regina had to be here! She had to-

"Time's up!" Zelena said suddenly, glancing up at the clock tower. Disappointment raced through her. Regina was no one to put her trust in…ever. "Who do you want to kill first Rumple?" Zelena asked as she advanced on him, like they were partners instead of an unwilling pawn in a chess match. And the way she called him Rumple and stepped up next to him, put herself that close to him…it was a terrible time to suddenly feel possessive, but that was exactly what she felt!

"He's not killing anyone!" Emma said stepping forward and addressing Zelena herself. "If you want to fight someone Zelena, fight me!" she insisted. The words were determined enough but her voice betrayed her. She was scared and nervous. Knowing Zelena's reputation she really couldn't blame her.

"Sorry, dear," Zelena said shaking her head and looking at Emma as if she was a joke. "I don't dance with amateurs!"

"I'm not an amateur, I'm the savior."

"Mmm," Zelena piqued looking her over with a sneer, "it appears someone's got an inflated sense of self-worth. Suddenly she turned to Rumple and made a motion with the dagger. Before she knew what had happened his hand had raised and Emma was knocked off her feet, thrown backwards by an invisible force. By magic. His magic. Used like a marionette on strings. Her heart jumped into her throat as she watched Emma's body. What was it? A crushed wind pipe? Broken bones? A stopped heart?

Nothing.

It was nothing. She watched amazed as Tink and David helped Emma to her feet. She looked a bit shaken, but otherwise, perfectly fine. She felt as though she was having a hard time catching her breath in the aftermath. Not because she felt fear or regret or even rage or jealousy. She felt…hope! He could have killed Emma. He could have seriously injured her. But instead he'd simply tossed her back into the air. He'd done something as commanded but something minor. He was fighting back the only way possible! Dark One or not, Rumple was still in there.

"Anybody else want to give it a go?!" Zelena yelled to the crowd holding the dagger up for everyone to see, as if it was a shield. But in her eyes, Zelena was the coward among them. If she were really so strong, such a threat, she would be the one standing there on her own. She wouldn't have to hold Rumple over their heads as protection to make herself stronger!

But despite that fact she watched as Rumple raised his arm again at her command as if in warning. It was cowardly, there was no doubt about that. But cowardly or not she did have the dagger, and that still made her a threat.

"I do!" Regina's voice insisted coolly, rising above the crowd. It was her. Regina! She'd come! She hadn't run! "Didn't anyone tell you?" she questioned striding quickly and confidently to the pair of them. "Black is my color!"

Zelena laughed, a short giggle as if she was genuinely amused and excited, like they really were sisters about to go to dinner instead of attempt to kill each other. "But it looks so much better on me!" she insisted. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up."

"I couldn't let my sister off that easily," she said shaking her head.

"Oh," Zelena purred with a smile, "so you've finally accepted me into the family?"

"I've accepted that we shared a mother, yes," Regina corrected. "But I still have one question: what the hell did I ever do to you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Zelena had a remarkable talent of conveying so many emotions with just a smile. This smile was pure greed and envy. Rage. "You were born!" she growled through gritted teeth with her nose turned up as if the very fact made her sick to her stomach.

Suddenly Regina slapped the witch and there was a gasp through the crowd as she reeled, collected herself, then went back to smiling again as if it is nothing, and wiped a bit of blood from her lip.

"I've been waiting to do that all day!" Regina smiled as if the action had relieved her.

"Rumpelstiltskin can't save you this time!" Zelena warned advancing on her again.

This time it was Regina that burst into laughter. "What does Rumpelstiltskin have to do with any of this?! With you or me?!"

"Everything," Zelena growled again. She glanced over at him, trying to see if he'd give her some explanation, something to help her understand that remark, but he wasn't paying attention to her. He like everyone else was watching the sisters.

"You'll have to be more specific than that, dear," she mocked. Zelena paced back and forth like a restless animal, like a caged beast, furious about…something! "For the last time," Regina raised her voice. "What. Is. Your. Problem!"

Zelena strode over to her again, facing her head on, looking her dead in the eye. "He should have chosen me!"

"Who?!" Regina questioned.

"Rumpelstiltskin!" she clarified, as if it wasn't obvious. She knew who they were talking about she just didn't know what they were talking about.

"That's what this is about?" Regina questioned, sounding more and more like a mother trying to soothe her child on the verge of a tantrum than a sister. "You're jealous of me?" she asked in a way that only rubbed salt into whatever wound Zelena believed she bore. Zelena was quiet, she said nothing, but even she had to admit. For a grown woman, she was acting childish.

She expected Regina to taunt more, to draw the answers out of her further, but instead she took advantage of the witch's stunned silence. Suddenly she stepped back and made a quick motion. The traffic light above them immediately appeared to have been cut from its wires and plunged downward, toward the witch until she made a motion of her own and sent it flying toward…Emma! Mary Margaret pulled her away just in time as it fell to the ground and sparks jumped around it dangerously. Rumple looked around as if he didn't know what to do, as if he was torn between wanting to help and not getting in the way, obeying orders. She knew that if he had it his way he'd reach forward, sweep her up, and take them into the woods for her own safety. But he just couldn't. The only good thing that came from the action was that the crowd seemed to suddenly understand that this wasn't the best place to be, that they never should have come! Some stepped back farther, but others ran away from the imminent danger completely.

"You still don't realize what you had!" Zelena accused, as the witches circled each other like vultures, each one waiting for the other to make a move, to show a weakness. "You never did! You got everything I ever wanted and you didn't even deserve it!" she screamed. She was having a child's temper tantrum. But unlike a child, she had the power to force her lover to kill everyone around her if she got too worked up. Regina needed to calm her down not stir her into a frenzy! "But I'm going to take it all from you!

And, predictably, with another gesture, Regina was in the air, crashing into a car, landing on her belly. Her bones should have been broken but Regina must have cast some spell or taken a potion, because she got right back up again and she couldn't help but stare flabbergasted at the action, at its simplicity. A shove? A shove?! A magical push! Was that all she'd done? Just as Rumple had done to Emma? Shove her sister?!

Regina walked forward, angrily, proudly, a ball of fire suddenly coming to life in her hand…but just as she was about to throw the flames, it disappeared into nothing but green smoke. The witch. Zelena reached forward then, quickly, and began to choke Regina. No. Not really, magically. Her hands weren't even on her, but it was clear that Regina was struggling to breathe as she was lifted off her feet and into the air. She fought, she fought hard, but she was simply no match. The Evil Queen was powerless against the Wicked Witch of the West, against her sister.

"Everything Rumpelstiltskin taught you," Zelena snarled, "he taught me too! But I was the better student!" And with that Zelena threw Regina. Up, up into the air she went, and she watched as the Evil Queen crashed through the clock tower face! She turned just in time to see Zelena disappear in a fog of green smoke.


	30. Clues to Somewhere

The witch had disappeared, but Rumple remained behind. This wasn't over yet, if he was still there then so was she...somewhere.

"What just happened? Where did she go?" David questioned, voicing what everyone else was thinking. She wanted to step forward, to take the time to wrap her arms around Rumpelstiltskin, to do her best to break the power the witch had over him, but before she could he pointed up.

"There," he stated quietly. "In the clock tower."

He was right. Though it was far and dark, she could see the form of Zelena, standing over someone, she could only assume it was the body of her sister. Dead or alive? Dead or dying.

"Gold!" Emma snapped. "You have to do something!"

"I can't," he responded.

"Screw the dagger and help us!"

"Belle," he ignored her and she glanced over, happy to hear her name, to hear him call out for her. But she could see him fighting already, a command, a desire the witch had for him. What? Did she want him to leave? To kill Regina for her? What was it?!

"I'm here," she said, stepping up to him.

"No don't," he begged as he stepped back, moving away from her as if he was afraid of what he might do if he didn't keep this exact precise distance from her. "Don't come any closer!"

"Rumple-"

"I have to go...she wants me to go."

"Don't!"

"I don't have a choice."

"You do! You can fight it!"

"I don't! I can't...Belle...Belle she wants something from me...from Regina, you have to understand. She's only gone to get it!" he explained, pain was scrawled across his face as he fought the daggers magic with all his might. He was helping, or trying to help in the only way he knew how. If this wasn't going to turn out the way she wanted, if Regina wasn't going to win and end all this then she needed whatever information he had. They all did.

"What?" she asked, as easily as possible but with desperation oozing out of her voice. She wanted to reach forward and touch him, to ease whatever he was feeling, but she kept her distance as he requested. "Rumple, what does she want?!"

"Her heart!" he stated through gritted teeth. "My brain. She wants them both. Needs them!"

She shook her head, panicking because of his words. Was she going to kill him?! "Wants it how?"

"I'm sorry, Belle," he muttered taking another step away. The message was clear. He couldn't fight the urge he had to obey anymore. He had to go.

"No," she begged. "Don't leave."

"I've no choice," he repeated again through clenched teeth.

"Stay." She wished she'd thought to bring the shawl with her now instead of leaving it in David's truck. If he'd fought her off this long could he do it long enough for her to retrieve it. Could he fight her command long enough to transport himself to the line and cross it?!

"I can't," he muttered finally, as if reading her mind, then disappeared in a plume of black smoke. She could have cried. This was the second time he'd left her there on Main Street, with nothing to hold onto. She hated it.

"Does that mean it's over?" Tinkerbell asked suddenly.

"Emma!" David breathed suddenly. "She's going to take Regina's heart."

"She'll crush it," Mary Margaret added. "She'll kill her." She turned just in time to see the Charming family dash into the library, even Mary Margaret managing to run remarkably fast. She should go. She should follow after them, tell them that she wasn't going to kill her. She didn't know what she wanted Regina's heart for but if she was looking to collect Rumple's brain, then she was also looking to collect her heart. She just didn't know why.

"I will get everything you ever had!" she heard Zelena scream from the top of the clock tower. And when she turned to see what was going on she realized she'd missed it and Zelena was flying from the tower on a broom. The few that remained on the ground covered their heads as if expecting her to drop something on them, but the only thing that fell from the sky were bits of the broken clock that she'd carelessly run into in her haste to leave the scene. She wanted to go after her, wanted to go after him so badly! But she couldn't. She just couldn't. It would be a suicide mission and besides he'd given her something in the end, something important to do. A brain and a heart. She needed it for something. That meant something. She just had to figure out what. Did the others realize that?!

With Rumple and Zelena gone, and the crowd clearing, she turned quickly, and with a gentle push urged Tinkerbell toward the library with her. The elevator seemed to take forever, trapped on the top floor as it was but when she arrived she could easily see the small group gathered together, standing by the hole that had once been a tower and looking out over the town. Regina was still there with them. Alive. But as soon as she stepped out of the elevator, as soon as Regina saw she was there, she clutched her hand to her chest and walked away quickly.

"I have to go," she muttered walking down the stairs and flying into the elevator.

"Go where?!" Emma called after her.

"I have to check something!" she called back before the doors shut.

Emma threw her hands up in the air in annoyance and wandered aimlessly around the walkway. "Great, we're back to this again."

"What happened?" she asked, climbing up the stairs and carefully stepping over the glass from the tower. "Did Zelena get her heart? Is she alright?"

"For now," Mary Margaret answered absent-mindedly as if she was in shock or just down right depressed. "But we're not. None of us are." Frustrating as it was, it was easy enough to forgive the pregnant woman for her mysterious tone. But she needed answers, not riddles, not if they were going to figure any of this out.

"What happened?" she asked again, this time looking at David.

"Zelena failed," he answered on a sigh, "but she's not gone so obviously that means Regina did too."

"But she didn't get her heart?" she clarified. David shook his head, but didn't look nearly as relieved as he should have felt. None of them did. They hadn't won anything today. Not by a long shot.

"No," Emma muttered quietly to herself, then turned and faced them, looking determined as ever. "No. We didn't lose this, not yet!" she insisted. "It's a draw and now we have the upper hand. Regina's right. David's sword, his courage, Regina's heart, Rumpelstiltskin's brain. Those aren't random, they mean something. A curse. A spell. Something. We just have to figure out what!"

"Regina didn't know what those were ingredients to Emma."

"I've never heard of any magic that needs all of those things," Tinkerbell chimed in slowly. She was looking at something, something outside the window. Regina. Walking down the street, rushing off for something, the reason she'd left. Brains. Hearts. Courage. She tried to remember to wrack her own brain for anything that she'd read in his spell books when she'd been looking for Bae's curse that would have given them a clue as to what she was trying to do. But she couldn't remember anything. Then again she hadn't exactly been looking for those words, they hadn't known what she was trying to do then! Rumple had given her the instructions for a reason. If he'd known there was nothing she could do he wouldn't have fought so hard to pass the information on to her. It was their only clue. Their only warning. To disregard it just because they didn't know what it meant would have been a terrible mistake. It meant something, they just had to find out what. She had to find out what.

"I'll do more research," she insisted, as they all watched Regina round a corner at a run and take off to…wherever she was going. "Maybe I can find something."

"Do it!" Emma insisted turning back to them, the distraction passed. "We'll make sure there are protections up against her around town. Strong ones. Strong as we can make them." It was a plan, a simple idea really, but a plan all the same, meant to bring them some reassurance, a sense that they weren't dead in the water yet! But Mary Margaret continued to stare out into the distance, her arms wrapped protectively around her belly. "Hey," she reached out and touched her mother's shoulder, offering a small smile. "We'll be fine. We just have to figure it out. Then we'll be ahead of her. And once we figure out her plan, we can make one of our own to stop her."


	31. The Necessary Precautions of Bad News

After what happened in the square everyone went home, as if it was just another typical night. They stayed behind, cleaning up the clock tower as best they could before Regina returned, refusing to say where she'd gone. "It's best you didn't know, let's just say my heart is safe…for now." That small reassurance in mind, and the glass off the street, they began to disperse. David wanted to take Mary Margaret home, Regina wanted Emma to check on Henry and Hook, who had apparently become his new babysitter, and Tinkerbell asked Regina to take her back to the convent so she could speak with the other fairies.

She couldn't sleep. She'd walked back into this shop, her stomach twisting at the thought that it was Regina that had set the protection spell this time. Nevertheless, she put Bae's shawl away, after having remembered it was still in David's truck, then got right to work, too frazzled by the days events to do anything else. Besides, Zelena still had Rumpelstiltskin...there was no time to waste.

Regina's heart.

Rumpelstiltskin's brain.

David's courage.

They meant something she just had to figure out what!

All night she worked, she read, she studied, she took notes, expecting that when morning came they would knock on her door and she'd be able to tell them what she'd discovered…which wasn't much. She'd been paging through the spell books all night and she still couldn't find a spell that required the three items they knew she needed. Courage. Brain. Heart. Courage. Brain. Heart. Courage, brain, heart. Couragebrainhearcouragebrainheart. After a while the words blended together as she repeated them over and over again in her mind. She'd found potions that called for brains. Curses that needed a heart. Even spells to use on those with courage. But she hadn't found all three!

When the sun peaked she'd finally taken a break, her eyes heavy and sore from lack of sleep and reading too much. She never thought she'd see the day that would happen, but it had. She didn't break long, for fear she'd miss the Charming family, just long enough to go across the street to her apartment, to realize Ariel still wasn't there, and take a shower. Long enough for the town to turn upside-down.

She hadn't been gone more than an hour but when she stepped out of the library the town was buzzing…with fairies. Everywhere, standing in every doorway along the main street, all dressed like Blue with wands in their hand. The magic was so thick in the air she could taste it.

"Belle!" she glanced over and saw Tinkerbell running up to her…and a stranger standing at the shops door. She ignored Tinkerbell, her vision tunneling as she automatically ran back to protect the shop. "Belle!" she heard Tink call again from somewhere behind her. "Belle, just wait!"

"What is going on?! What are you doing?!" she asked inserting herself between the unknown fairy and the shop. Rumple's magic was one thing, Emma and even Regina's magic in order to protect her was another but she wasn't going to let a fairy she didn't know cast some unknown spell on her pawn shop…his-their pawn shop!

The fairy only looked at her strangely. "Green!" she exclaimed, "I thought you said-"

"I've got it," Tinkerbell stated grabbing her arm dragging her away from the door.

"Got what?! What are you doing?!"

"Protecting the town against Zelena! Every building on Main Street, the houses of whoever might be a target-"

"She's already got Rumple why are you sealing his shop?!"

"Because she doesn't have you!" Tink insisted placing her hands on her shoulders and squeezing. "We're not sealing it, just protecting it against Zelena."

"But Rumple-"

"Just Zelena," she assured her. "It's a spell meant to detect evil and cruel intentions. So long as Gold doesn't step into the shop with the intent to harm you he'll be able to get in." The words sounded confident as she'd explained them, but her face betrayed her. Suddenly Tinkerbell looked around the street nervously and lowered her voice as if ready to confide a secret in her. "The fairies don't want this to get out, but you should know. We can't even be certain these spells are strong enough to keep Zelena out. We've never faced someone like her before, with her experience or her magic. It could work, but for all we know she could walk into any of these buildings at any time and barely feel a tickle!" She calmed down at the words, though she didn't like watching the fairy raise magic with a white glow around the building and another around her library. These spells might mean nothing...which meant there was only one purpose to them.

"You're just doing this for appearances!"

"Well, it's better than nothing! At least it's calming people down!" She hated this. Things were only getting worse and now the town was reacting to it. He'd died to get rid of Pan, to give Regina a chance to save the town, and now they saw him as the enemy again. "And…there's something else you should do," Tink muttered suddenly as the fairies moved one door down. Something else? What now? "You should find something to keep with you, for protection."

She shook her head, her jaw tightening because she was sick of this, of Zelena, and the constant defending of his character. "He won't hurt me!"

"I know!" Tink shouted back at her. "I know you think that, I know you believe it, but Zelena…you can't say the same thing about her. Find a way to protect yourself. Magic, a weapon, anything that can keep you safe from the witch just in case these spells fail, please!" she held her hands in her own and squeezed, almost painfully. "Humor us. If you don't need protection from him, at least protect yourself from her."

She'd spent the afternoon fuming…but eventually listened to her anyway. She'd turned and gone back into the shop, intending to go back to work on her research, to ignore her words because she knew above all that he would never and could never hurt her. But the more she'd read, the more she'd sat in the store, the more her eyes kept wandering up the walls, locating swords, and knives, weapons. Her eyes lingered longer and longer over spells she found that could be used for defense. Finally she came to the conclusion, whether she wanted it to be true or not Tink was right. Zelena was a threat and if she ever met her on the street, she'd need something to protect herself. He'd already lost Baelfire, if he lost her too, just because she'd been too stubborn to believe the witch would kill her, it would destroy him.

But she couldn't use just anything. Weapons would only work if she could get close enough and if Zelena played fair and didn't use magic on her, which she knew she wouldn't. That left magic, but because she wasn't magical her options were limited. Zelena's knowledge of magic was vast and there was no doubt that Zelena could counter anything she could throw at her. Which meant she couldn't use magic against her, she had to use it on herself. But it was a delicate situation. She wasn't magical and she didn't have time to learn it so she could use it. Her eyes had fallen on his black bag, the one that he'd shown Lacey that had spells and enchantments already there. What was the chance that he had something in there she could use?

Books helped. She was able to go through, bottle by bottle, process of elimination, and identify all the potions, the ingredients, the substances in the bag. It took hours. But she'd done it. Protection spell. Rose petals. Fairy dust. Locator spell. Gold thread. Dog hair. Sleeping Death. Entrapment Spell. Horn of a unicorn. Then, finally, something helpful, a freezing potion. If the book she'd used to identify it was right, all she'd need to do was break the glass vial in front of Zelena and time would slow so that the world around her would seem frozen, like a statue, everything in the room except for her so long as she added a drop of blood. Out of everything else she'd seen...this had the most potential.

She put the bag away then carried the bottle and the book out to the front. If she was going to use this then she wanted to know everything about it, especially before she put her blood in it. So she hid the bottle behind yet another stack of books and read through the information over and over again looking for any hint of danger, consequence, or even a loop hole. What she found was...promising!

The blood apparently meant that she would make herself the exception to the magical freeze. And the spell wouldn't last long, only a minute, but it would last long enough for her to get away and get help. Yes, the freezing spell seemed like the best option available to her. She wished everything had come as easy as this had. Now if only she could find-

The bell on the door suddenly chimed and she looked up expecting to see one of the Charmings coming to see what she'd found, or Blue to explain her authorization of the protection spell without letting her know first. But it wasn't. It was a girl. Red hair. It was-

"Belle?" the mermaid questioned looking around the shop for her.

Her jaw dropped in surprise and she smiled at the wonderful unexpected sight. "Ariel?!" she was amazed, simply shocked! And the joy at seeing her again was all it took to shake the thoughts of her terrible morning away. "Where," she questioned, trying to figure out where to begin as she rounded the corner to hug her. "Where have you been I, I, I was, I was worried I'd never see you again!" she admitted, placing her hands on the girls cheeks to observe that she was unhurt before swallowing her up in a hug.

After all this time, after note after note, she hadn't realized just how much she believed that Ariel was missing or avoiding her or gone forever until this very moment! After everything that had happened over the last few days she felt as though she was conditioned to expect the worst, the fact that Ariel was alive, safe, and here with her again...she felt a swell of happiness inside her chest and was disappointed to realize that she'd nearly forgotten what happiness felt like.

"I've been looking for Eric, he's been missing since we all returned," she informed her. Her happiness faded at the comment and she pulled away from her, but kept a tight grip on her hands. Ariel was unhurt, but she could see the worry on her face. Eric was missing again, just like last time, but now...what did missing mean this time? Was he missing like the missing dwarves? Or missing in another far worse way?

"We were hoping," Hook stated moving around Ariel, startling her, "we could find something of his here." She honestly hadn't noticed he'd walked in too, she'd been too overjoyed at seeing Ariel again. She'd let her guard down, dropped her defenses. Zelena herself could have walked in beside her and she would never have known it! Maybe Tink's idea hadn't been such a leap after all. And now Hook was working with Ariel?! Had the world completely turned on its head while she'd been in that shower?!

"Oh!" she gasped suddenly realizing they were looking at her expectantly, waiting for her answer or suggestion. "Of course, to, to see if he's in Storybrooke!" she exclaimed, catching on. They were hoping to find something here. A clue. Something, anything that would tell her where he might be or have gone. It made sense. Everything else in this shop belonged to somone else and she knew from months of cleaning the castle that it wasn't Rumpelstiltskin! If they found something here, it would at least confirm his prescene in Storybrooke...though she wasn't sure how much that piece of information would help or not.

"Have you seen anything of his?" Ariel asked desperately.

"Well, I, I only just started sorting through things…" she rambled, but stopped when she caught Ariel give Hook a disappointed look. She hadn't just started going through things. She'd been through everything in this shop, torn it apart, cleaned it, and rearranged it all twice! But she'd done it all on autopilot, without thinking about what she was doing because she'd had specific items in mind then! But that information wouldn't help Ariel, wouldn't give her hope. Had she seen anything of his, of Eric's? Had she? There was no way to be sure. "But, uh, don't despair. Let's start looking!" she encouraged.

"Okay," Ariel breathed, immediately glancing around the shop. She turned to the case, the one she'd been reading on and felt something like guilt grow in her stomach. They could do it if there was something to find. She didn't want to consider the other alternative, that she'd gotten Ariel's hopes up just because she couldn't stand for someone else to suffer like she was, like she had. She knew better than anyone what it was like to be away from the one person she was supposed to be with forever, being apart hurt and not really knowing the future was unbearable. She'd never forget the days that she'd spent in turmoil, knowing that he was dead but not feeling it. Her stomach knotted. Was their love true? Destined? Could she be going through the exact opposite that she had. Could she have no knowledge of where he was…but feel it in her gut? She could ask but she didn't even know how to begin a conversation like that. They'd have more than enough bad news she didn't want to cause any more, or be the one that informed her of what only might have happened.

She glanced over her shoulder to check on Ariel and…

Where was Hook?


	32. The Result of Good News

"Where is Hook?" she asked Ariel, who was looking at some clocks with interest, but not nearly the kind of interest she'd had the last time she'd been on the shop? Did that mean she was more accustomed to being a human now? That she'd lost her amazement, or was it something else?

She looked around her, over each shoulder, then spotted the curtain. "I think I saw him go into the back."

The flame of anger she'd felt in her only moments ago suddenly grew again. Hook in the shop was one thing. Hook alone in the back of her shop was another matter of trust altogether! She stormed into the back, Ariel following after her and together they found Hook there in the room, looking at something. A pendant?

But suddenly Ariel moved around her to look herself. "That's Eric's!" she declared. "How did you know that was his?"

"I, uh, I wasn't sure," Hook muttered softly. "I saw the sea creature clasp, remembered he was from a maritime kingdom." A clasp? A sea creature? Yes. He wasn't looking at a pendant, it was a golden clasp from a maroon cloak. Something from their world.

"He is…was," Ariel breathed amazed. She'd run across that cloak dozens of times since they'd been back but never made the connection. It really was just a matter of not knowing Eric. She smiled. Whether Hook had found it or not it was good news, hopeful, happy news. It was exactly what she needed after these last few days had depleted her ability to be hopeful. "And now he's here!" Ariel realized. She placed her hand one the mermaids back as she looked like she was about to burst into happy tears at any moment. She couldn't blame her.

And she couldn't help but hide a surprised laugh as she stepped forward and threw her arms around Hook. His look was priceless. He glanced over at her as if he was embarrassed, like it was the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened to him in his life. The pirate that she'd seen try to seduce women without bias, who'd tried to do the same to her once, made uncomfortable by a woman's arms around his neck! It was funny. He seemed uncomfortable with the sign of gratitude and though the hug was no more than a couple of seconds, the relieved look he gave when she finally pulled away told her it was too long.

"He's here!" Ariel exclaimed when she finally let go. "This means he's here! I just have to find him again! Like last time!" Ariel was excited, clearly happy, but Belle's heart fell at the suggestion. No. Not like last time. Ariel hadn't been the one to find him. She had. And even then it was just pure luck that she'd found Eric...this time she needed something more! The cloak proved that he was there but she'd already checked the docks, the apartment, and she was certain Ariel would have as well, where on earth would they start this time? And would starting even help? There was still no way to tell if Eric was one of the "missing" in town!

She glanced from the cloak through the rest of the shop, thinking, wondering…suddenly her eyes fell on the black bag she'd put away, the one that she'd stashed after finding the freezing spell. She had an idea. It was only a hunch, something she couldn't be positive would work, but would tell her whether or not she really could use these spells, the freezing spell in particular.

"I have an idea!" she stated. She moved past Hook and Ariel and opened the bag. The locator spell. She'd identified it by its smell. The book had said that it looked, tasted, and felt like ordinary water, but was identifiable by its unique onion smell. She removed the cork and whiffed again, just in case. Yes, it definitely smelled like onions. Rotten ones. This could work...she hoped.

"Bring the cloak over here," she commanded. "Lay it on the table."

Hook sighed as Ariel did as she instructed. "Is this really necessary?" he questioned. "Hasn't magic gotten us into enough trouble?" Yes, it had. But not all magic was bad, she'd learned that easily enough in paging through his spell books. Intent was important. And the purpose behind this…it was good.

"If we want to find Eric quickly, then yes," she stated to him, and to herself. Magic always made her uneasy, but this was worth it. If she couldn't be with Rumple, then maybe Ariel could at least be with Eric.

"And are you qualified to use…whatever it is you have there!"

She sighed, just when she thought she was getting to the place that she could tolerate Hook he said something that made her want to kick him out all over again. But as much as she wanted to argue with the pirate, to yell at him, she knew it wouldn't get them anywhere. Ariel had laid the cloak out on the table and she chose to respond to his inquiry by upending the contents of the bottle onto it.

"What is that?!" Ariel asked watching her as she dashed the last little bit onto it. The truth was she didn't know if she was qualified or not, didn't know for sure if a non-magical person could enact a spell, didn't know how much to use, which was why she'd used all of it. She couldn't be sure of a lot of things, but she could be sure of one thing.

"This is the locator spell," she explained glancing at Ariel, still staring mystified at the cloak. "So, whatever object it's poured on becomes enchanted and returns itself to its rightful owner," at least that was what the book she'd read had stated. Now all they had to do was hope that it worked. So far the cloak hadn't even twitched.

"Thank you, Belle," Ariel said turning to her once more. "I know that you've been busy trying to find a way to break your Mr. Gold out of the witches control." She quickly glanced back down at the table again, pretending to suddenly be interested in what was happening with the cloak, but really, she felt as though she was bleeding again. Ariel did know what was going on in town then, she hadn't been around but she knew that Zelena had Rumpelstiltskin and that they were working on how to get him out, to restore their memories, to save everyone! Was that why Ariel hadn't come to her for help like this? Was that why she'd gone to Hook first? Because she thought she was too busy, or too wounded to help? "You didn't have to do this," she added.

She took a deep breath as she fought off the overwhelming emotions growing inside her. "No, I..." she nodded her head and stretched awkwardly realizing how much she'd been worn down by the last few days. She did have to do it. She wanted to do it. She only wished Ariel had been comfortable enough to come to her first instead of waiting so long. Doing this, it felt good, it felt right. She hadn't been able to help Rumple so far, hadn't been able to save Neal, or figure out what spell Zelena wanted to use, but that didn't mean that she was a failure. She could help, she knew she could. She just needed the reminder.

"I did," she concluded. "And, uh, perhaps a little good news around here will be contagious." Maybe it would even be good luck, create a turning point. What she was working on wasn't easy; it was difficult. It would be difficult for any sorcerer and even more so for someone who had never studied magic beyond these last few days. And she had to remember that next time she started to feel like she was fighting a losing battle. She was doing the best she could, all she needed to do was keep working and hopefully she'd find that freeing Rumple was as simple as…this!

Suddenly the cloak magically picked itself up off the table. She smiled as she watched it rise just as it should. She could do good this! She could work magic even if she wasn't magical! If she could do this, magic, then she could find what she needed in the books. She just had to trust herself, her judgment.

They all watched as the cloak rose into the air and hovered for a second, then flew out the door and into the front room. "Let's go!" Ariel shouted at them, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the front room. The cloak was waiting there, by the front door wanting them to let it leave, for them to chase after it! But she couldn't. Not now. Not now that she felt revitalized and hopeful. She had work to do and as much as it pained her to admit it, Ariel would be in good hands with Hook. He'd gotten her this far, he'd get her the rest of the way.

"No!" she called resisting Ariel. "No, no I can't."

"Come on!" she urged, opening the door and letting the cloak loose into the world, looking excited as it traveled down the side walk. "Come with us!" she insisted turning back to her, her grip tightening on her hand almost painfully. "You won't regret it!"

"I will," she smiled, trying to pry her hand out of her grasp. Ariel was relentless, almost frightfully so. "There are things I have to do here...for Rumple," she tried to explain.

"The time off might do you some good!"

"No," she smiled, finally tugging her hand free and seeing the red imprint she'd left on her own. "No, it already did. Seeing you again, knowing you're alright, and about to find Eric. It did plenty of good. So go, hurry! Don't let that cloak out of your sight! Find your prince, find Eric!"

She looked disappointed for a moment, a flash of what looked like anger in her eyes when she realized she wasn't coming, wasn't leaving the shop. Then, finally, she nodded, accepting that she wouldn't come, accepting that she'd done all she could. "Thank you, Belle," she whispered, then glanced over at Hook and the pair of them left the shop quickly trailing after the cloak.

She felt happiness when she closed the door, fulfillment. She could do magic, she couldn't make it but she could use it, with everything going on, that little fact could only be more helpful. She glanced over to the counter, to the book she had laid open, to the small bottle of freezing potion she'd stored away. She'd gotten everything right about the locator potion and enacted it just fine, this would be the same.

Determined, she walked over to the counter, collected the vial and a knife. Before she had time to second guess herself, she pricked her finger, held the cut over the potion, and watched as the blue liquid flashed brightly before turning back to icy blue again. If the book was right, then she'd completed the spell. Whether or not the fairies protection spells were strong enough didn't matter. If Zelena approached her on the street or walked into this store, she wouldn't have to worry. She could defend herself. So she slipped the potion into her bag, reminding herself to keep it with her whenever she was alone, and got back to work.


	33. The Bookworm's Teeth

It was amazing what a good deed could do, how straight it could set her. She'd helped Ariel, she hadn't heard back from her by the time the sun set, but she felt lighter after her visit. There was little doubt in her mind that she'd done everything she could for the mermaid and that she'd left the store better than when she'd arrived. She'd been able to identify the spells in his black bag, all the ingredients that he kept there, then been able to use one for herself. She couldn't make magic but she could use it, and she could read about it. She felt as though Ariel had provided the distraction she needed to become more determined than she'd been before.

She'd gone to sleep that night. It wasn't easy but she'd forced herself to do it. Working too hard, she imagined, was one of, if not her greatest, flaws and while she could stay up another night, use the time to go through twenty of his books by the time that morning came, she knew that in the end she'd only really absorb and understand a fraction of what was in them. But logic told her if she went to sleep, if she took the night to rest and clear her mind, she'd wake up and be ready to learn, ready to think, ready to figure this out! She'd be at her best and right now he needed her to be at her best above all else. Time was of the essence, but in this case information and accuracy were even more important.

So when she woke up the next morning she felt better, she felt refreshed, she felt ready to begin. She showered and changed over in the library, like always, ordered some food at Granny's, then returned and opened the books as she set to work again. Heart. Brain. Courage. The answer was in here somewhere and today she was going to find it!

Heart. Brain. Courage. But page after page after page told her exactly what she'd learned the day before. Nothing. No spell that mentioned all three of those ingredients together. Brains she found, and her stomach had churned at that image. Heart was actually a fairly common ingredient. It wasn't the real heart, she'd learned, it was a symbolic copy of it that magic created-an echo of the person. Once a person possessed this echo the person could be controlled, similar to the way that Zelena controlled Rumple with the dagger or Pan had used the Shadow. It was helpful information but told her nothing.

Why use Regina's heart?! Why was she so focused on it?! If it was a matter of just needing a heart she could take Rumple's as well as his brain. Or David's when she'd taken his courage! For that matter why did she need David's courage? Surely David didn't hold the monopoly on courage in this town and there were more suitable candidates that she could have taken courage from without the risk of having her identity revealed. Why Regina? Why David? Why her Rumpelstiltskin?! Maybe it wasn't the heart or the brains or the courage. Maybe it was them, maybe it was some quality they possessed that she needed and those things were just what she could get her hands on? Could a spell call for a person? Or a relationship? She and Regina were sisters? Could that mean something?

The bell to the shop rang again and she felt her heart race with excitement. Was it Ariel? Back to tell her what had happened? One of the Charmings? Could she ask him if there was any relation David had to the witch, some reason that she would need his courage instead of someone else's? She closed the book and was prepared to call out when she heard it. A loud crash and bang. Like something being thrown to the ground. Had someone run into something? Dropped something? No. There was another one and it stopped her in her tracks. It sounded like someone was tearing through the shop throwing things to the ground, looting her store! Who would…Zelena. The fairies magic hadn't been powerful enough! She'd broken through and gotten into the shop! Quietly she reached into her bag for the freezing spell, and glanced at the back door.

She wanted to be a hero but not at the expense of her life, Rumple would never forgive her for doing something like that, she was of better use alive and saving the spell for something more important. She could leave, run to the Charmings, get the fairies or Regina, they could come back here and-

Another bang made her jump as more was thrown to the ground. "This is all useless crap!" she heard someone yell in the front room. No, not someone, and not Zelena. Regina! Regina was ransacking her shop! She put the potion down, feeling more secure, and wasted no time coming to the rescue of her shop.

"Hey!" she screamed at her as she watched push more stuff to the floor. "Hey! Stop! Stop it! What are you looking for?!" she questioned, trying to distract her, to get her to tell her what she needed instead of tearing her home apart!

"I need to destroy my sister," she growled. "She has my heart!"

"Oh," she gave a nervous groan and stepped away from the Evil Queen, remembering what she'd just read about using hearts to control people. She didn't know how Zelena had gotten her hands on Regina's heart so suddenly after she'd assured them that it was safe only nights ago but she knew it wasn't good, for the spell and not for being anywhere near her. Rumple wouldn't hurt her but Regina had already proven she didn't have a problem harming her.

"Oh, relax," Regina insisted quickly seeing her reaction. "She can't control me with it, I protected it from that." She didn't know that was possible, but couldn't think of a reason that Regina would lie to her about it. Better yet, if the witch was making her lie to her she couldn't think of a reason why she'd be in her store, rambling nervously. She'd have purpose of some kind. "The problem is," she went on, "I don't know what she's planning on using it for!" finally she gave up shoving things and she saw just how frustrated and scared she was. "Which is why I need to take her out!" she concluded, pounding her fist into her hand sounding more and more distraught and desperate by the second.

No, Regina hadn't lied, this wasn't a trick, or something she'd been ordered to do. Zelena really did have her heart! And Regina was absolutely terrified. She really had no idea what to do! It always surprised her when Regina showed that kind of emotion, she'd been so used to her being cruel that seeing her express something other than malice caught her off guard. Not to mention that if the Evil Queen was this shaken up...the rest of them should probably be scared out of their wits. She needed three ingredients and now she had them. It was a struggle not to panic with Regina.

"That's why I need your help," she stated suddenly, moving closer to her. "What do you have here?" she asked clapping her hands together and looking at her expectedly.

Really? Really!

"What do I have here?" she blanched. That was it?! That was all she was going to say to her? That was how she was going to ask for help…she'd demand it! Expect it! From her?! Irritation rose up from the pit of her stomach, an angry voice that she usually associated with Lacey's temper roared in her mind. She'd seen Regina many times since that moment they first met on the road, witnessed the changes she'd made in her life for Henry, and she was abundantly aware of the fact that she wasn't a heartless witch but a woman with emotion, love, and fear. But right now she didn't particularly care about that. She could let bygones be bygones, she could leave the past in the past, but she couldn't disregard it when she still treated her like she was her prisoner in a tower cell! She would have given help if she'd asked for it instead of coming into her shop, _his _shop, ripping it apart, then demanding she help her! Now? Now she didn't exactly feel like helping her! She wanted her gone, to leave her alone, to tell her what she'd wanted to tell her every day, every moment, from the second she'd taken her captive! What did she have here? More than books and relics and instant-get-your-heart-back-potion!

"Self-respect!" she snapped at her. Yes, it had taken her a few years to find her voice around the Evil Queen, but she had, finally! And now she couldn't help but straighten her back proudly and advance on the woman as she'd always wanted to. "Why on Earth, or any realm," she questioned, "would I want to help you?! The woman who imprisoned me in a tower in her castle, then put me in an asylum for twenty-eight years, who's done nothing but mentally and physically torture me ever since we've known each other?!"

Regina looked shocked at first, but slowly began to stare at her as if she was a worthy opponent, as if she was impressed with her. Frankly she had to fight not to smile and cheer for herself. She'd said it. She'd finally said it! And it felt great! Just as good as helping Ariel yesterday...maybe more. "Huh," Regina mused after a quiet moment. "The bookworm's got teeth."

Really? Of all the responses in the world that was what she chose to say?! How she wanted to react?! With sarcasm! The comment only fueled the fire that was blazing inside of her. If she'd rather take that attitude, if she'd rather hide behind insults than confront her past crimes then she could leave.

"Get out!" she spat at her, only too happy to show her the "teeth" she had. For all she cared she could figure out a way to get her own damn heart back!

"Yes, I did all those horrible things," Regina finally muttered gently, stepping toward her, with any luck she'd realized she was serious. Her stomach gave an involuntary lurch at the motion, the fear of retaliation, but she didn't move. She held her ground. Regina didn't look angry. She looked desperate and nervous again. She looked…guilty? "In the past!" she stressed suddenly. "But right now, I need something to defeat the woman who'd puppet mastering your boyfriend. She has your Rumple and, unless you help me, you may never see him again." Her stomach turned again at the words but this time for a completely different reason. They were clever words, good points, carefully chosen to play at her heartstrings. They were true but from the woman that was an expert on manipulation they were nothing. She was using Rumple over her the same way she imagined she'd once intended to use her over Rumple. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear-

"I'm sorry, Belle." She glanced up at the woman, wondering if she'd actually heard the words or just imagined them. "I really, really am," Regina finished. She wasn't dreaming! Or imagining things! She'd said it! And from the look on her face, she meant it! Certainly more than Hook had, and with more remorse than she thought she was capable of for anyone besides Henry. Suddenly, the fire she'd felt, the anger she'd spewed, dissipated in an instant. Not completely, it was still there, living inside her, just not as fiercely as it had been before Regina had come into the store. The past was still there, but an apology for it, the fact that she was willing to admit she'd done something wrong, that said a lot. She could respect Regina for that, if little else. Besides, right now, they found themselves on the same side, working for the same cause. Zelena needed to be defeated, and there was no reason she couldn't answer her questions better than David or Emma would have been able to. She hoped.

She gave in and leaned against the counter, if Regina was willing to work with her then she could do the same. "So, I've been trying to match the ingredients that Zelena's been collecting, to whatever spell she intends to cast," she informed her. "It would really help if I knew what was so special about your heart! Does she just want it because you're sisters? Or is-"

But Regina was already shaking her head and looking disappointed. "I have no idea," she admitted sadly, but then something sparked behind her eyes. "The candle," she whispered. For a second she allowed herself to feel excited, to be hopeful that she might have had an idea and might be able to answer her question that she'd figured it out. But then she snapped and began looking around the shop again, "Where's the candle?!" And in an instant she knew she'd moved on from her question and was looking for herself again, she'd moved back to her own problems. It was irritating, but she couldn't blame her for being distracted. At least she'd answered her question, even if she hadn't known the answer. And she may as well help her before she started throwing things again!

A candle? She was looking for a candle?! There was a candelabra just to her right but she thought it was ordinary. Then again, was anything ordinary in this shop? She picked the item up and held it out for her. "Here?" she questioned.

"Not that Liberace," she said dismissing her guess. "The two-sided candle Snow used to kill my mother! Where's that?!" she clarified harsher than she really needed to. But at least she knew what she was talking about now. She'd found that candle days ago when she'd been searching for the compass. But since she hadn't really been looking for it at the moment she'd stashed it away again after reading to make sure it wasn't dangerous anymore.

She set the candelabra down and pulled open the drawer she'd stored the antique in with an irritated sigh. "Its power is gone now, it's just a relic," she informed her fetching it and holding it out for her.

"Yes!" Regina breathed stepping forward to collect it eagerly. "Yes, that's it! This isn't about how my mother died," she informed her, holding it up as if she'd just had a sudden realization she still wasn't privy too. "This is about how she lived!" She needed the candle that had killed her to tell her about her life? Not her death?

"And what's the candle got to do with that, exactly?"

Regina shook her head smiling as she looked it over. "It doesn't," she answered with a small giddy giggle. "It's just a relic, remember. It's not about the candle, it's about what it represents, what it means, that's the kind of magic I need from it!" She glanced up at her suddenly, her smile spreading, then without another word turned and walked out of the shop leaving her utterly confused.


	34. Taking A Symbolic Step Forward

She shook her head as the bell signaled Regina's wordless departure. She would have thought that the brief interaction was a waste of time, but the apology she'd given her made it worth it…even if she didn't have answers she was looking for.

What had just happened anyway?! What was it that made the candle so special?!

No. It wasn't special, at least it wasn't the candle that was special it was what it meant, something about Cora?! How she lived. Yes, that was what Regina had said. It wasn't about Cora; the candle represented something about how she'd lived. It was a symbol.

A symbol.

A symbol! Her jaw dropped and her mouth felt dry as she tossed the word back and forth in her brain. It wasn't about the candle, or about what it did, it was about what it symbolized! Heart. Brains. Courage. Maybe it wasn't the items themselves that were important…it was what they meant! It wasn't about _Regina's _heart, it was something about her _heart_! Something that it made it Regina's, made her who she was. It wasn't the ingredients it was what they meant. They were a symbols!

Symbols of what?

She turned on her heel and strode into the back room. She'd read something about symbols, about their purpose in magic when she'd been looking up the triangle they'd found on Neal's hand. She moved the books around, checking titles and covers, until she found the one she needed. It was buried at the bottom of the pile, the books she'd dismissed long ago because they were basic spell books, not the darker ones! Had the answer really been easier than she'd made it out to be?

_ "In magic, certain ingredients are only necessary to a spell for what they represent. Herbs, spices, fairy dust, magical wands, these all serve to create magic but non-magical items serve a different purpose since they are unable to create magic on their own. Therefore, their primary use is to channel magic, to make it stronger, or to direct it. For example in spells that require a blood lock, the blood does not make the magic, instead it merely guides the magic to identify those with the required blood type. In this case the non-magical element is used to direct the magic. In another example…"_

Symbols. She smiled. They had to be symbols! Regina's and Rumple were both magical whether that made their heart and brains magical she wasn't sure, but David! David wasn't magical in the least! At least not that she knew! They were symbols, they had to be! So what did they represent?

That was easy enough to figure out! There were fifty pages in this chapter filled with just that! She'd never been so happy that she could read so many languages fluently, otherwise translating would have slowed her down. Heart. That was easy to find, and there it was, a nice picture, sketched out next to the word.

_"The human heart has become one of the most recognized and common ingredients in both dark and light magic. Frequently hearts are used to represent love or romance within the magical community, but there are other lesser known representations as well. The heart can be used to represent any emotion: love, passion, greed, desire, resilience, anger, and any other emotion so long as it is strong within the human the heart is taken. Because it is believed the actions of the individual effects the heart, wicked deeds turning it black and good deeds lightening it, some spells specifically require a certain type of heart to channel a certain emotion or personality trait. For example, in dark magic, a potion to create amorous desires requires the heart of one who has experienced true love." _

Emotion. Hearts represented emotion. Regina had stores of emotion! But which emotion did she need? She paged ahead. More information, she needed more information! The book had said that it was a common ingredient and she knew that it was true because she'd spent time looking through spell after spell and had seen it herself. Now she understood why! All she needed to do now was get more information to narrow down the numerous choices she'd seen. Brain. What did a brain mean? She stared down at a page worth of description.

_"The human head is a symbol rarely called for in magic. It represents physical concepts as well as psychological. Eyes, nose, tongue, ears, and other elements may be removed in order to act as separate ingredients, or a spell could call for the entire…"_

She skimmed down farther. Rumple was never wrong. He hadn't said head, he'd only said brain. And she didn't need to study all the symbolic meanings behind each ingredient…besides, thinking about it too much made her regret eating. Finally, toward the end of the page a new paragraph began and a word caught her eye. Brain. That was what she needed!

_"Physically the human brain can represent complexity and intensity. It is a body part that has never been mastered and can therefore be used to represent confusion and misperception. In curses it is frequently an ingredient to eliminate memory or reduce intelligence. In light magic, however it can be used to restore altered memories and increase intelligence."_

_"Restore altered memories."_ He'd underlined that small phrase himself and she felt tears gather in her eyes as she looked at a comment he'd written into the margins of the section. _"For Belle?" _he'd written there in hasty quick writing. Then, it appeared he'd gone on to list several other things, things she'd seen in the shop and things she'd never heard of in her life besides these books. It was a spell, or a potion, something she could only imagine he'd been working on or researching to restore her memories, something that wouldn't work because of the large slash he'd put across the notes and a simple phrase he'd written as explanation. _"Altered memories are not cursed or eliminated memories." _

He'd tried. She knew he'd tried to get her back, to not lose her. It was what was motivating her now. She didn't just want him back she needed him back! She couldn't lose him again, not like this. As much as she wanted to lay down, hug the precious and meaningful notes to her chest, and cry at what had happened to them she couldn't. He'd fought for her, she needed to fight for him. So she took a deep breath, found the place that she'd left off before he'd distracted her, and read on, hoping to find what she needed to restore him to her.

_ "Psychologically, the brain is the representation of intelligence, knowledge, memory, wisdom, and clarity." _

Her heart fell. She'd found hundreds of spells that required a heart, she'd hoped that since brains was rare she would be able to narrow it down to a few, or at least dozens! But she felt as though she'd just unleashed a completely different monster. There was too much! Complexity, intensity, confusion, misperception, intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, memory, clarity! Instead of simply cross referencing heart with one concept she was looking for nine! She swallowed and paged ahead once more. She'd found heart and brain…how much worse would courage make it?

Worse.

There was no courage. She stared at the page, looking at the place it should be in this language, even went over it's alphabet again to make sure she wasn't mistaken. She wasn't. There was no courage. At least not in this book. Did that mean that courage didn't represent anything or could she find something for it in a different book? Another language maybe?

She looked through the other books. Chapter by chapter, book by book, she looked for anything that had to do with symbols or that listed symbols. Hour by hour she found nothing. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe they weren't symbols in the end and she'd wasted time for nothing. She sighed as she slammed the last book she'd been looking at shut, then jumped at the sound of the bell ringing again.

She reached for her bag, for the freezing potion, but stopped when she heard multiple pairs of feet and heard Emma yell out "Belle! You in here?!"

"Back here!" she called, setting her bag aside. She didn't want to tell them she had it, didn't want them to think that she was doubting Rumpelstiltskin because she wasn't! She was just worried about Zelena.

"Hey," Emma breathed escorting David and Hook into the room.

"Hi," she greeted, looking toward Hook hopefully. "What happened with Ariel?" she asked him. Hook looked away from her suspiciously and for a second she wondered if he'd done something to her, lied, or hurt her in some way.

But Emma only smiled. "She's fine. She found Prince Eric, turns out he was in another realm," suddenly Emma balked at her own words and glanced at David. "That is never going to be easy to say, is it?!" He shook his head gently, confirming it. She had to admit, even though she was from another realm and felt buried in magic at the moment, sometimes it did sound strange.

"Yeah, so we wanted to know if you got anywhere," Emma blurted out suddenly, forgetting what she'd said and looking at her books. Of course they did. And of course they'd show up after she'd just concluded she'd spent time and energy chasing after something that was proving to have no meaning what so ever.

"Well," she sighed, trying to come up with a way to explain that two days later she had nothing. "I got a bit distracted when Regina came in this morning. Zelena got her heart, by the way."

David nodded. "We know. We just had a very unsuccessful attempt to communicate with the dead at her house."

She looked up at him confused. An unsuccessful attempt to communicate with the dead? What on earth did that mean? "I don't understand-"

"Yeah," Emma breathed, "neither do we. But Regina thinks that getting information about Zelena is important and decided to go through Cora." She opened her mouth, trying to think of what to say or question about that statement…but there was nothing. She'd just had a moment like Emma had only seconds ago. It sounded strange, but what was stranger was that it made perfect sense to her. No, she wasn't ever going to get used to that happening. "Did you find anything?" Emma went on, asking hopefully.

"I'm…" she looked desperate for something, for good news just as she had been. She should tell her the truth, tell her she'd failed…but she just couldn't. She didn't know for certain she'd failed yet. For all she knew she hadn't. "I'm following up on something, I'll let you know if anything comes of it." And not at all if nothing came of it. There was no reason to disappoint her further.

"Okay," Emma smiled, accepting her answer. "We're going to see if we can still grab something at Granny's, call us if you find something?" she nodded, knowing she probably wouldn't. They filed out of the room and she had to resist shaking her head or rolling her eyes at herself. She felt guilty just for saying half-truths, how did Rumpelstiltskin tell lies so easily?!

"David!" she called, before he left the room, suddenly remembering that she'd wanted to ask him a question before all this had gotten in the way. "I have to ask you, your courage, is there something special about it? Some connection to it, or connection you have to Zelena that made her want it?"

Regina had answered right away, telling her she didn't know. David didn't know either, she could see it in his eyes, but he at least had the decency to pause for a moment to consider. "No, sorry, nothing that I can think of." She nodded. It was worth a try. "But the sword was special," he added suddenly, "maybe not to Zelena but to me."

"Your sword…" she mumbled.

"Yeah, it was…" but she didn't hear what it was, the story behind it because she was already thinking, moving on. She'd forgotten, been silly really. An ingredient was a thing, a physical object. Courage wasn't physical it was…symbolic. Why hadn't she seen it earlier?! Courage wasn't the symbol the sword was!

"Thank you!" she told David, "that's all that I need." She didn't want to be rude, or tell him to leave, but she also didn't want to look it up while he was standing there, just in case she was wrong again.

Fortunately he seemed to sense it. He stopped talking, mid-sentence, and nodded at her. "Let us know if you find anything."

"You'll be the first to know," she promised honestly, hoping it would be sooner rather than later.

The second she heard the door close behind him she found the original book she'd been using and paged back to the chapter on symbols. She by passed heart and brain, didn't bother checking for courage again, she paged and paged until she found what she was looking for.

_"The sword is a symbol most often called for in magic when a change is required or when it is the product or result of magic. It is less often used when royalty is involved in the spell, usually male royalty. It is seen as a symbol of greatness, valiance, conquest, a journey, change, bravery, and, most common of all, courage."_


	35. The Inevitably Bad Outcome

She'd done it. She'd figured it out!

Well, she'd come one step closer to figuring it out. The question now was had she taken a step forward? Or two backward? The heart, the brain, the sword, they were symbols, all of them! The problem was that before she'd discovered the symbolic link she'd been looking for three ingredients, now she was looking for too many to count. Heart, emotion, love, passion, greed, desire, resilience, and anger; brains, complexity, intensity, confusion, misperception, intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, memory, clarity; sword, greatness, valiance, conquest, journeys, bravery, and finally courage.

She collapsed onto the cot and looked out over all the books she had splayed out over the table. Where could she even begin with all that?! Where would it end?! It would take hours, maybe even days to cross match everything, to learn what she needed to learn days ago! Her eyes raked over the table, over the back room, as if the answer would come to her if only she stared long enough.

There had to be another way. There had to be some easier way to figure it out. She'd thought like herself and gotten somewhere, but too slowly! Maybe the key to this wasn't thinking like herself. She needed to think like Zelena, like Regina…like Rumpelstiltskin. They were his books, his information afterall! What would he do?

Loopholes! She needed a loophole. There had to be a way around searching every book all over again! The answer was here somewhere it was just buried and she needed something to…

Something to find buried treasure.

A loophole!

She set the book aside and dug around the ones on the table. There was something she'd seen in one of them, something that might actually help her. It wasn't in the book itself but the margins, something he'd written himself next to a spell to find buried treasure…there!

_"To find the unfound."_ It was just where she remembered it and appeared to be based off the spell in the book to find buried treasure! Better yet, as she read it over, it didn't require the practitioner to be magical, it just required an ingredient or two that had magic and other symbolic items to channel it…she nearly lost her breath at her own thoughts. She'd absorbed more than she'd thought possible. But now wasn't the time to bask in it, now was the time to act on it, to make her new knowledge useful.

_"Rose petals to represent what is lost, the crushed horn of a unicorn to point the way, dragon scales to burn, fairy dust in invoke strong magic, and a paper with what needs to be found written on it in black ink. Use the dragon scales to burn it all. Blow the ashes onto the air and follow after them, they will lead to that which is lost." _

It even sounded like him. It was like he was reaching out and helping her even from that cellar! She only hoped that she could make it work. And there was only one way to find out! She found a bowl easily enough and pulled his bag out. A pester and mortar were easy enough to grind the unicorn horn. She didn't know how many scales to use, but it didn't sound as though they mattered too much, she had read they were flammable and it appeared that the scales were only there to make sure everything burned quickly and easily. The rose petals that he had in his bag were dried, she hoped that it didn't matter. She poured the fairy dust into the bowl last, the same black and sparkly stuff that Leroy had given her so long ago, then found a piece of paper and black pen.

"Where can I find spells that require a heart, a brain, and a sword or anything they represent?" She wanted to just write "What is Zelena working on?" but wasn't sure if that would work or not. At least this way she could narrow it down to a book. With a deep breath and a hope that she'd gotten it right and hadn't just wasted more time she struck a match and watched as the dragon scales sparked to life in a flame that blazed a foot high. When the flames cooled all that was left was black flaky ash. She set the books out over the table, not in stacks just one after another creating a new layer, even putting some on the cot and shelves, assuming that the ashes would find them one way or another, then she took a deep breath and gently blew it out into the air.

The ashes floated like normal ashes for a moment, creating a black cloud that got into her eyes and nose and mouth making her sputter. For a second she didn't just think she'd failed, she knew she'd fail, as they began to fluttered to the ground in no particular pattern. It was a fluke.

Until she noticed something strange.

They didn't settled. Just as they were about to come to rest on the table they jumped back into the air and began to float again, to wave and flutter. Over and over they did this. Hover in the air, drift to the table below, jump up again before they could fall on the books as if they might be burned. It was remarkable. It was exciting. It was magic! She watched them as the minutes passed slowly, as they decided what book to choose. It wasn't any on the table, surprising since those had mostly been the dark spell books. It wasn't the ones on the shelf, another surprise as those were the ones that contained spell after spell as if it was a recipe book for magic. There. The ones on the cot…the basic introductory books? No, not just a basic book, the basic book. The book she'd been reading to figure out symbols. That was it?! The spells were in there?! But there were barely any spells at all in it, they were only easy ones, ones like this one that even she could do! But she watched as the ashes finally came to rest on the cover of the small tome.

She reached forward and picked it up. Her answers where in here?! In this book all along! What had she missed?! She sat back down on the cot and cradled it in her lap. Was it possible it wasn't a spell but something else?! She opened it up again. She couldn't read the entire thing, not now, not right away, but she could skim it, to at least see if she'd missed something.

The first section was on laws of magic. Simple enough. Magic cannot bring the dead back to life. Magic cannot truly create love. Magic itself cannot be used to murder unless malicious will is involved either voluntarily or involuntarily. In other words magic didn't kill people, people killed people using magic. This was of no use to her, at least none that she could see.

The second section was on light and dark magic. Light was good, dark was bad...easy enough, not what she was looking for.

Next came the elements of magic. Love. Knowledge. Strength. Purity. The elements could go either way. True love, wise knowledge, strong will, innocence all for light magic. Obsessive love, conceited knowledge, overbearing strength, and immorality for dark. Useful but not what she was looking for.

Numbers were in the next chapter. They were important. One was a circle for unity. Three was perfect. Four meant balance. Seven was unlucky. And on and on it went but it had nothing to do with what was happening now!

She knew the symbols chapter had been about as helpful as it was going to be.

She'd searched the sections on spells, potions, and curses extensively already she knew it wasn't going to be helpful.

She looked but not carefully because she didn't think that she was going to find anything in the bit on animals.

The only section left was on portals. _"Crossing time and space," _it read. It couldn't be helpful. She didn't know who had cast the curse before but at the moment her money was on Zelena. So if she'd cast a curse to jump realms why would she still be trying to do it?! But, nevertheless, she afforded the section the same courtesy she'd given the others. She glanced at their drawings, read the notes he'd put in the margins, and skimmed each new section.

No. She wasn't trying to cross realms. That was obvious. And she couldn't be going back in time because it had never been done. The book was old but it made that clear. The section was more or less a history of the failed attempts to travel through history. The first was by an unknown wizard who wanted to go back in time to change his father. He hadn't even successfully created a spark. The next produced an explosion that triggered an earthquake. It wasn't until a wizard named Albus began to study it that he realized three ingredients were necessary, the perfect number for a spell that would require perfection. He believed that the ingredients should be symbols of…the physical body, mentality, and deep emotion.

She felt her heart stop. Physical, mental, emotional. Sword. Brain. Heart. She gripped the sides of the book tighter as she read on trying to see if it named the items and what had happened. She got half of the answers she was looking for.

_"…it wasn't enough and the ingredients burned to ashes. The power required of Albus to create the magic for the spell was too great and he was killed"_

Not good news. But it was a lead. She read ahead finding the next step.

_"After three ingredients were established many combinations were attempted. The Black Fairies attempt killed three people from the same village: the strongest, the smartest, and the holiest of clerics. Though she was severely weakened in her attempt to conjure something so powerful she escaped before she could be caught…. An unnamed sorcerer believed, that like the perfect number three, the ingredients should also represent past, present, and future. A mind that recalled all the events meant to be changed, a heart of resilience to withstand the trials of the present, and bravery to change the future. The unnamed sorcerer perished in the attempt when his magic was ripped from him…. A vengeful sorceress used the brain of her intelligent father, the blood of her emotionless mother, and the shield of her soldier brother…the family was slaughtered and the sorceress died of exhaustion…._

Her heart began to beat again as she went through page after page after page and began to see a pattern.

_"A wizard…the mind of a prophet, the helmet of a warrior, the tears of a bride…death…. A witch named Hazel…the sword of a courageous prince, the books of a historian, the heart of her lover…death…. The spear of a conquering hero, the heart of a loved friend, the journal of the town sage…death…. A ruthless heart, a cunning mind, a hero's weapon…. A representation of bravery, of pure emotion, of great knowledge…. _

_"A loving heart…blood of a heart…greedy heart…angry heart…powerful heart…heart of the meek…heart of the beggar…a resilient heart…_

_"An intelligent mind…the mind of a sage…the brain of a librarian…a mind that contains essential memories…brains…_

_"The shield of a hero…the sword of a prince…a courageous individual…a warrior's sword…a symbol of great courage…courage…_

Heart. Brain. Courage. Every single attempt, every single spell, suggestion, every recipe no matter how many or few ingredients called for required all three in one way or another. She'd found it! She'd figured out! This was it! This was what Zelena was creating…or attempting to create!

And yet there was that one little caveat. Time travel had never been accomplished...at least not according to this book. What had been accomplished was destruction, murder, death, and lots of it! She pushed off the cot and grabbed her jacket.

She couldn't be certain that time travel was still an unsolved brand of magic, but she knew, whether Zelena succeeded or failed…the outcome wasn't going to be good.


	36. Two Halves Make a Whole

It was late, she understood that, but she couldn't wait until morning! If Emma and David weren't still at Granny's she'd have to call them, and Regina, to come listen to what she'd found. There were at least three ingredients that Zelena needed to enact the spell and she had all of them as of this morning! She didn't know what she was waiting for, why their world hadn't disappeared completely by now or changed or been destroyed in fire or flame or an earthquake from the failed attempt, but she knew that as long as she had those three things they were working on borrowed time. For all she knew, Zelena was enacting the time travel portal now!

She ran down the street to Granny's. The lights were dim and she could see the stools and chairs lifted off the ground for cleaning. She was about to pull out her phone and call when she glanced in the window and saw that the diner wasn't empty. Emma and Hook were sitting in one of the booths. It wasn't exactly who she wanted but it was all she had at the moment, together they could find the others.

"Emma!" she said slamming into the room with barely a breath left. Breathing could wait until after they figured out where the others were. "Emma, I…I found it," she said setting the book down and opened it to the place that she'd kept marked with her finger. She didn't even know where to begin to explain this! She pointed to the place on the page where it all began and tried to catch her breath. She could show her now and explain later, with everyone in the room! "We have to tell Regina and the others!"

"Ok, Belle, slow down, what did you find?" she asked looking over the book before giving up and looking at her again in confusion. It took a second to connect why she wasn't getting the obvious, but then she looked down at the book again. Of course she couldn't read it, it wasn't in English. It was an old dialect from their land and it had taken her years to master it! Other than the picture of the circular portal with lines sketched into it to resemble a clock, Emma wouldn't be able to understand. She didn't know if any of the others would be able to read it or not. It was up to her, she had to explain and be calm and collect herself, but she couldn't get her heart to stop racing!

"Zelena's plan," she informed her, and Hook since he was there, "I figure out what she's doing."

Emma's jaw dropped and she stared at her with wide eyes. "What is she-"

"Regina, David, Mary Margaret," she listed shaking her head. "Where are they?"

"I, I, well, Mary Margaret stayed with Regina and David went home a couple of hours ago-"

"Call them," she insisted, "we have to talk, all of us, now. It can't wait!" and she couldn't waste time explaining this twice, or bear to sit around and listen to different theories. She needed all of them together, to do this once, to use all their ideas at one time in one room. Fortunately Emma seemed to understand that and she slid out of the booth pressing buttons on her phone and waving at them to follow her. She picked up her book and she and Hook followed quickly as she spoke to David, made sure Mary Margaret was still at Regina's house, and told him to meet them there now, not in five minutes, not after he finished baby proofing the house, now!

The three of them piled into Emma's yellow buggie and she tore off down the street, promising it wasn't far and they'd be there in a few minutes. Better yet, it was only a minute or two later when she saw lights behind her and realized David had caught up with them in his truck. Perfect.

Or so it seemed. When they arrived at a large white house that she assumed belonged to the mayor she could see something was wrong immediately. There was a blue light flashing like lightning in one of the upstairs windows.

"What does that mean?" she asked staring at the phenomenon.

"I've got no idea but it can't be good!" Emma yelled before running down the walk way to the door…which didn't open. Emma slammed her hands against it angrily a couple of times. "Regina!" she yelled. "Regina!"

"Mary Margaret!" David screamed pounding on it with her. She didn't know if there was noise in the house or not but she knew they couldn't hear them! What did that mean? What did the blue light mean? Was Zelena inside?

"Ok, stand back!" Emma urged.

"Emma, what are you-"

"Let her try it, mate," Hook muttered behind her almost as if he was bored with the entire situation. Try what? What was she going to try?

She knew the answer the moment she saw Emma hold her hands out as if to feel the door but never actually make contact. Magic. They all held their breath. Then watched Emma, glanced up at the room's window with its flashing light, looked back to Emma, then checked the room, finally the door to Regina's house slammed open as if it had been bashed in with a log! She'd done it. Emma had magic and she really was learning to control it! And not a moment too soon it appeared.

"Good girl," she heard David breath as he moved around her and dashed into the house, calling out for Mary Margaret and reminding her that they didn't have time for unnecessary emotion or amazement. Emma and Hook were already storming into the house, so she followed wondering if she could be of any help, wishing she'd brought her freezing potion. There were sounds coming from upstairs that sounded like a struggle was going on, she ran up the stairs following the noises, locating the room that was emitting the flashing blue light. But just before they reached them…it stopped, and the house got quiet again. They cast strange glances around the house and each other before they went on regardless of the calm.

"What the hell was that?!" Emma asked shocked.

"Cora," Regina said staring at the ceiling as if everything was explained by that word.

She stepped inside set the book on a table before looking around, but everything seemed perfectly normal, until…

"She okay?" Regina asked and she looked over to find her examining Mary Margaret asleep in one of the chairs. No. Not asleep. Worse than asleep. She looked ill, as if she'd just passed out and was fading in and out of consciousness.

"Mary Margaret," David whispered kneeling down beside his wife, "can you hear me?" he questioned loudly.

"Cora," the fragile woman mumbled as Emma stepped up next to her to investigate further. "I saw…tried to communicate…"

"She was?!" Regina almost seemed to be begging her, trying to get more out of her, but she wasn't even sure she was making sense! "What'd she say?" Who?! Cora? Her dead mother? The one they'd failed to summon?! What was happening here?

"Leopold…my…my mother…"

"Shh, Mary Margaret, relax," David cooed.

"She's not making sense," Emma stated. "We need to call a doctor."

"If she knows something that could help us-"

"Regina, it's gonna have to wait!" David insisted pulling out his phone.

"It can't wait!" Regina screamed at him. "If we want to stop Zelena we have to know what the hell she's doing and why!"

"I can help with half of that," she blurted out suddenly.

"What?" Regina asked her looking shocked. She knew what she was doing but didn't know why, with any luck she could talk long enough to give Mary Margaret a break to be able to tell them what she knew too. They'd been trying to get information on Zelena, maybe she knew the other half. Besides, it was urgent, they couldn't waste time waiting for Mary Margaret to come around, she may as well fill in the time with what she knew.

"She's planning on going back," she stated, "back in time."

"Are you certain?" Regina asked in stunned disbelief. She nodded. She might have been new at this but she was certain. Everything fit. Perfectly. Too perfectly to be wrong. "No one's ever been able to cast a spell to go back in time."

"Well, clearly she thinks she can succeed," she argued. "Brains! Courage! A resilient heart! Those ingredients are in every time travel spell I've found."

Suddenly the opposition behind Regina faded and she sat down looking utterly overwhelmed and nearly as pale as Mary Margaret, who didn't seem to be recovering as well as she'd hoped. This was urgent and she'd believed she only needed a little bit of time to come around, but she was beginning to think she was wrong. Maybe someone should call a doctor.

"But why go back in time?" David asked her suddenly. "I mean, we have no idea what she's trying to accomplish."

"I do," Mary Margaret suddenly whispered, her head lulling side to side uneasily on her neck as if she didn't have the energy or the strength to support it. But then she sat forward, using what looked like all of the effort she had. Her eyes were still closed as if she was exhausted by the action, but went on mumbling anyway. "She…she didn't-"

"Don't push yourself," David interrupted, something she wanted to agree with, but was torn because she wanted to know what she did, wanted to understand.

"She didn't want to give up Zelena," Mary Margaret explained, "she was forced to, by…by my mother, Princess Eva. She told a secret…just like I did."

"Wait, I thought our family were the good guys," Emma whispered as Mary Margaret fell back in the chair again, looking spent.

"Life is too messy for it to ever be that simple," Regina stated beside her.

"You're saying if it wasn't for Snow's mother," David clarified, "Cora would have kept Zelena." Her mouth went dry and suddenly she understood, perfectly! She understood it better than anyone else because she had a memory, in the back of her mind, that no one else would have because they'd never been as close to Rumpelstiltskin as she had. She'd asked about Cora once, and he'd told her, regrettably about the deal he'd made with her. Gold for Cora's child? "_I needed Regina to cast the curse. I knew the child she bore would be the one to do it…" _Zelena. Not Regina. Her comment at the showdown! _"He should have picked me!" _It all made complete sense!

"She would have been tutored by Rumpelstiltskin," she realized out loud. Zelena would have been the one that cast this curse that brought them to this land. Not Regina! He just hadn't known!

"And all if it weren't for this…Princess Eva," Hook stated softly.

"So that means…"

"Zelena is going back to kill my mother," Mary Margaret clarified for her daughter sadly. They all looked at one another in shock as the other half of the equation was finally fell into place. The entire room was on the same page, but they were just having a hard time swallowing the facts.

"You'll have never been born!" Regina realized, looking at Snow White.

"I'm guessing this is where your help ends," Emma muttered at the comment.

"No, think it through Miss Swan. That means…you'll have never been born. And, and neither will Henry."

"And on this different path, Regina, you may not be either." And if Cora had Zelena, would Rumple have ever been in a position to have a relationship with her? If he'd tutored Zelena who would have told her she loved him! Would she have ever gone back to him?!

It was overwhelming, just how much one little detail could change everything!


	37. Ironic Musings

"It's a good thing no one has ever succeeded this time travel nonsense," Hook stated clearly. Clever attempt as it was, it didn't put her at ease, or anyone else for that matter. But she knew what no one else did at the moment. No one had ever succeeded, and she didn't know why, but she knew that it had never ended well. Death and destruction always followed wherever this portal went. Even if she didn't succeed she could still end up killing herself and half the town with her. No. She'd already lost him once and she couldn't do it again. She didn't know how he was walking around right now, what had led up to Neal releasing him from that vault, but she knew that she might not get another chance like this. Zelena might not succeed, but they had to keep her from even trying to-

"The baby!" David rose suddenly as if struck by lightning or maybe just an idea or a thought.

"What?" Hook questioned, voicing the question all of them were asking. Mary Margaret didn't look healthy at the moment but she didn't look dead, what was wrong with the baby?

"That's what's missing, that's why none have succeeded," he went on. "Somehow, some way, our baby is the key!" She glanced at Mary Margaret who was looking nearly as shocked and confused at the pronouncement as everyone else. "Zelena went to a lot of effort to get close to our unborn child, that's what she's after! She felt an eerie tingle spread over her skin as she realized that he was right. Why hadn't she seen it before?! Why hadn't any of them?! She'd practically told them days ago, after Neal's funeral. _"Don't worry, I'm not here for your baby. Not today anyway." _It hadn't just been a threat. It had been the truth. And she knew that the rest of them were suddenly remembering this as well.

"What does she want to do with it?" Mary Margaret questioned, her hand protectively resting across her swollen belly. That was an excellent question. One she didn't have the answer for. Would Regina know?

"It doesn't matter," David stated kneeling down again. "She's not gonna get it, we're gonna stop her, since our baby's not born, she's stuck. We have what we need: time." She swallowed nervously. Time to stop a time spell. It was terribly ironic, but he was right.

Mary Margaret suddenly looked down at her stomach then shook her head at him and his pronouncement. "Just not very much of it."

Her stomach turned over. David was right, but so was Mary Margaret. She'd been worried because she thought that she had all three ingredients that she needed but as long as Mary Margaret was still pregnant they still had time on their side, they didn't have to worry about what would happen if she cast it in the middle of the night because she didn't have what she needed. But the moment the baby was born, their time would run out.

"Okay, now we're calling you a doctor," Emma said pulling a cell phone out of her pocket. "If everything rests on you staying pregnant then let's make sure nothing happened here and you're going to stay pregnant." Emma left the room with the phone held to her ear. David held his hand out for Mary Margaret to stand, but then, as if on a second thought, swept her up into his arms in a princely manner against her overwhelming objections that she could walk. He merely told her they were going to make her more comfortable and left after Emma.

She sighed as she turned to pick up her book. Mary Margaret's baby. Zelena wanted Mary Margaret's baby! What on earth did she think that would add to the time travel spell?

"I don't suppose you know why she wants it?" she asked, looking over at Regina who still looked like she was in a state of shock.

She snorted, then glanced over her shoulder at her. "I have no idea," she muttered honestly, sounding as if she was disappointed in herself for not being able to figure out what was happening before this moment. "Do you?" she asked.

"No," she muttered shaking her head.

"Why my heart?!" she asked her suddenly. The question didn't come to her as a witch trying to learn something about her craft, it was a sister, that just wanted to know why her sister was doing this to her. She couldn't be entirely positive, but she'd gathered enough to take a guess.

"Three ingredients," she began. "The histories say that there needs to be something physical, mental, and emotional as well as something that represents past present and future. It can be either light or dark in nature. Your heart represents the emotional aspect. Whatever emotion you feel, whether good or bad is always strong. But you also represent the present. The spell requires a heart strong enough to withstand the difficulties of putting the spell together…also the reason she needs your heart. You, your heart...you're resiliant."

Regina nodded. "So David's courage?"

"Represents physicality and the courage it takes to change the future."

"Which makes Rumpelstiltskin's brain-"

"The mental," she interrupted Hook. "His knowledge of the past makes him the prime candidate."

"And the baby?" Hook prompted, as if he expected the answer to suddenly appear in her head since the last time that she'd been asked.

"I'll do more research," she concluded. "See if I can figure out why she's trying to change the spell or why she thinks that she'll be any more successful that the others that have tried this in the past."

"The others who have tried this," Regina asked, standing to look at her and looking perfectly serious, "what happened to them? Why weren't they successful?" She was a witch again, better yet she was the mayor, pitching in, trying to figure what was happening. She only wished she had better news.

"They died," she told her. "Mostly. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part their attempts ended in death and…" she swallowed, trying to find a good way to break the news, to instill hope, she couldn't think of a way that would happen though. "Attempts to open a portal back in time usually resulted in the death of the caster and catastrophic events that killed others in the vicinity. Sometimes the entire town."

Regina rolled her eyes and dropped her arms against her sides looking frustrated. "Of course it does!" she laughed, but it wasn't a funny laugh. It was an ironic laugh, the kind of laugh that came with no hope with news that just kept getting worse instead of better.

She didn't want to believe there was no hope, but she also didn't know how to assure her that there was hope. Well, there was she supposed, but she wanted more hope than the kind that rested with a woman who looked ready to deliver a baby any second suddenly going into labor. So she did the only thing she could do. She left Regina alone in the room and followed Hook downstairs, wondering how she would get back home, or rather back to the shop when she heard voices in the living room. Mary Margaret hadn't gone to the hospital, it appeared the hospital had come to her in the form of...Dr. Whale.

It all came back to her so quickly, like a terrible slap in the face. He was the one, the stranger that had been more than willing to believe at the meeting that Regina had cursed them all. She hadn't recognized him then, understandably there had been too much on her mind but now that she saw him, examining Mary Margaret seriously, the cursed knowledge she held of the town provided the name. That was how she knew him, Lacey on the other hand, she had different memory, a different experience with him that she, Belle, would just as soon rather forget!

Dr. Whale was the doctor that Rumple had harmed for looking at Lacey and suddenly she knew exactly what Regina felt like upstairs. Of course an unfriendly reminder of Lacey would come charging back into her life now, on tonight of all nights when things couldn't seem bleaker! This week really couldn't get any better. She stayed away from him, watched from the door frame as he pulled out a stethoscope and listened to her belly then poked and prodded before finally sighing and taking the tubes out of his ears.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said looking between her and David. "Physically, scientifically, your fine, so is the baby, and you're not in labor." The Charming family seemed to sigh with relief at the pronouncement. She wanted to but couldn't help but wonder. Mary Margaret wasn't in labor now, but what about tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that! She couldn't stay pregnant forever, and she really didn't think she could stay _that _pregnant for long. No one was _that _pregnant for long. "But then again," the doctor went on, "I don't know the effects a magical parasite would have on a fetus. I'd like to have you come down to the hospital in the morning for more tests and an ultrasound, but, to be honest, I don't think they're going to tell me what we don't already know."

David nodded as Whale stood and gathered his things. "We'll consider it in the morning," he muttered in a voice so cold it made her shiver. Clearly there was something between the two men, but still, whatever it was, she hoped they'd more than consider it.

And she really wished that it wasn't her Whale was staring at right now. Her mouth went dry and she found herself praying that Regina had appeared just over her shoulder or there was a beautiful painting that he was suddenly fawning over instead of eyeing her like he was. She turned and was confronted with an empty hall as her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch.

He _was_ staring at her.

"While I'm here does anyone need a ride home?" Funny, he'd made it sound like he was asking the room but was looking only at her with interested eyes. She knew what those eyes meant, or Lacey did and she was unamused and unflattered. _Who the hell shows up for a house call and hits on a woman?! _was what Lacey wanted to know. But the only voice she could hear shrieking as loud as possible in her head was her own. _Why now!_ she wanted to scream at the universe. It was enough they were trying to figure out time travel spells, did she really need to suddenly wish she had one in order to go back in time and make sure that time in her life never happened! "How about you?" he asked pointing at her finally making it obvious.

She swallowed, biting back Lacey's sharp answer and trying to contain her feelings, make herself as small as possible and remember her head. "Thank you, but I'm, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"Whale-" David muttered behind also unamused. The doctor ignored him.

"The night is still young, we could get some drinks and maybe even-"

"You do know that Rumpelstiltskin isn't dead, don't you?!" she snapped at him. No, not her. It was Lacey, that boldness that Ruby had shown her she had, the stress of today, of what might be just around the corner had unchained it and forced it out of her without warning. At a time like this, when he got that terrified look on his face, she couldn't say that she was ungrateful for it. "Scientifically," she questioned, "what do you think the effects of Rumpelstiltskin finding out you propositioned me would have on the body?"

Whale opened his mouth as if to respond but then grabbed his arm nervously and closed it. "Point taken," he muttered before glancing back at the royal family, "I'll see you all tomorrow." With that he moved around her so carefully it was as if she'd burned him and left.

She sighed with relief and looked around at the people in the room staring at her as if she'd grown a second head. Yes, they hadn't exactly seen her as Lacey, she supposed it would have sounded strange to them. It sounded strange to her, and guilt twisted in her stomach at the thought that she'd used him as a threat like that, just as Zelena was doing now! He wouldn't have minded, it would have been something he'd said himself and been proud of her for, but she did mind! She never wanted to do that again! Never wanted that kind of power or force over someone in all her life least of all Rumpelstiltskin! That was enough to chain Lacey again, to clear her head, and sober her reality. Hope. She needed hope, not guilt.

"Sorry," she muttered to the room as Whale left, knowing there was no excuse, "I just-"

"Don't be!" David interrupted with a happy smirk. "It's about time someone told him off." She shouldn't have, but she did find herself smiling. She didn't know Dr. Whale but she was glad that at least it wasn't something completely uncalled for. "We'll take you home," David sighed glancing at her and reaching out for Mary Margaret.

"Actually, David," Mary Margaret responded. "I think I'll stay just a bit longer, with Regina. Whale doesn't know anything but she might be able to diagnose something magical." David looked unsure, Emma looked the same, like she wanted to point out that the last time they'd left her with Regina they'd needed Whale to come look at her. But no one brought it up.

"Are you sure?" David asked.

"Yes, go. Cora's gone I'll be fine. Emma you can go too, we'll be fine."

"We can wait for you," he insisted, but she could see that for whatever reason she wanted David to leave. She didn't know why she wanted to be left here alone with Regina, especially after what had just happened, but she knew that she did. And despite their past history, despite the fact that she knew she shouldn't trust Regina, in this one matter, at least until the witch was defeated, she did trust the Evil Queen.

"Actually," she insisted, "I've got to do some more research to do tonight, about your baby, to try to figure out what's happening, and it's best I have as much time as possible especially since..." she nodded at Mary Margaret and her pregnant belly and was surprised to see that she seemed grateful for the help. Especially when David complied and the four of them left the two women in the house alone again. She hoped something good would come out of it this time…


	38. Living the Typical Abnormal Life

She gave a violent jerk. The weight that had been on her chest crashed to the floor with a loud thud. All the noises around her set her heart racing as she tried to figure out what was going on...

She was there in the back of the shop. She'd fallen asleep on the cot just like she had every other night, or rather the early hours of the morning. The weight she'd felt on her chest, it had been the book that she'd been reading the night before looking for the magical properties of babies. Some of what she'd read had turned her stomach so much she was surprised that she'd been able to fall asleep. But she'd woken, suddenly, this morning, to…

She scrambled out of the cot and lunged for her purse as she recognized the sound. Her cell phone was ringing. That was the sound that had woken her up. She rummaged quickly until she found it and checked the ID. Her stomach did a drop. David. As happy as she was that they were sharing information with her, none of that information had yet to be good news. So the question now was what was this? Neutral news? Bad news? Worse news?

"Yes?"

"Belle?" David's voice sounded relieved almost. Was that because of desperation? Or just because she'd only just barely managed to answer the phone? "We need your help, we're looking for something." She let the breath that she'd been holding onto out. It was just an ordinary phone call with an ordinary need. No, not ordinary for them. They'd wanted her to find information for them, not an object. Wanting objects from her was normal for everyone except the Charmings.

"What, what are you looking for, exactly?" she stuttered, already glancing around the objects that she had in the back room, expecting that she would see one of them and instantly recognize it as important, that it would answer some question, bring this terror to an end. But nothing stuck out to her.

"Henry's storybook," David breathed. "Is it there?"

She processed the request again, but it made just as much sense to her the second time as it did the first. Henry's storybook? At first she thought that maybe Henry had lost one of the books that she'd given him and they were looking for that. But Henry hadn't been in the shop, there was no chance that he'd left it here. And David didn't sound like he was just casually inquiring about a teenagers lost object but something significant with meaning! But Henry's storybook?! She'd never heard of such a thing, had no idea what they were talking about?

"I'm, I'm sorry," she breathed, "I don't understand. What storybook?" she asked stepping up to the shelves that she'd begun storing all the books on. They were mostly the magic books that he had before, the darker ones that she'd brought from home, and of course the few non-magic ones that had just been here. But nothing that looked like a "storybook".

"It's Henry's," David explained with a sigh. "It's got stories in it, only the stories are our own, Emma's. It's-" David paused and she heard talking in the background, female. Mary Margaret maybe? Emma? "It's brown," he said after a moment, "it has gold trim, and 'Once Upon a Time' written on the cover. Mary Margaret gave it to him during the last curse, it's what he used to get Emma to believe and break the curse. We think it might be able to help us break this one too but we haven't seen it. We figured everything else ended up at the shop, why not Henry's book?"

Why not Henry's book? Well, she knew why not. Because the book sounded as though it was specific to this town, to this realm. Their stories, they weren't stories in their world like they were here-they were real. It was only here that a book with their stories would exist, and she knew enough to be sure that there was nothing in this store like that. Everything here was a relic from their world. Magical, non-magical, important, Rumple's, some belonging to others…she didn't need to look. The book wouldn't be there.

"Have you seen it?" David questioned. "Is it in the shop?"

It was important, she could tell. Finding this book was a priority and she wanted desperately to say that she had seen it, that she had it here in the shop and he could come collect it any time he wanted to. But she couldn't. "I'm sorry," she muttered, "it's not here."

She heard David give a sound like a frustrated sigh. "Are you sure?" he practically begged. But the answer was the same.

"It's not here," she repeated confidently.

"Alright," she could practically see the man pacing back and forth, running a nervous hand over his face as he began plotting the next steps. "We'll figure something out. Just keep an eye out and if you see it let us know."

She promised she would but knew that it was useless. As much as he wanted for her to just be overlooking something she knew the book wouldn't be found in the shop. It was up to them. She placed the phone back in her bag and sat down on the cot again, suddenly she felt the rush of the panic that had woken her up leave her body. It was as if she'd had just enough adrenaline coursing through her to be awake for the conversation, but now that the event had passed, now that the shop was quiet again, she felt as though she'd just gotten up. She felt tired again, her mouth dry, her head spinning she dropped it into her hands and saw the book that she'd been reading as she'd fallen asleep last night.

She grabbed the book and set it on her knees, trying to unfold the creases that had showed up overnight, marking the place that she'd been. It wasn't one of the darker books, she found those didn't help her much. Probably, she figured, because Rumple had figured out very early on that he couldn't go back in time to undo the terrible moment he'd let Bae go, but had to move forward knowing they could be reunited in the future. The only references to time travel were in the general books, usually a few sentences that were so predictable she practically had them memorized before she read them. There was always a line about its history, who first came up with the idea, the attempts that had been tried since then, usually in chronological succession, the ingredients that they'd used, and finally a long paragraph at the end detailing how time travel was impossible. No one had accomplished it or ever would.

That was why she hadn't been reading about time travel last night. Those entries weren't going to help her, they only told her what they already knew, and right now they needed to know something they weren't sure about, the factor Zelena was counting on: Mary Margaret's child. She was reading about symbols and ingredients again. For once she wished that finding "baby" was more difficult to look for in the books than it had been. But it wasn't. Something from a newborn, fluids, sounds, and, much to her disgust, body parts, were in no short supply. But the meaning behind them, only this basic spell book had something to say about that.

_"Children have often been seen as important for conjuring both dark and light magic. They are often seen as a symbol of purity, innocence, rebirth, and beginnings. Though age requirements are rarely given in spells the age of the child could produce different results. The younger the child the better, for this reason practitioners often use the youngest child available for they are the purest. They know no wrong or evil. They are unaffected by gender, class, and race as some small children are. Their futures can be changed with the simple exchange of mother's arms. A child of royal blood can grow into the humblest of paupers under the right influence, and a child of paupers can become the most powerful of Kings. _

_"Frequently light magic will require a symbol of innocent intentions. Tears, hair, even finger nail shavings are capable of adequately representing the child. _

_"Dark magic, in contrast, requires a symbol of guilty intentions. Though it is unclear how this works, it is believed that it is not the item taken from the child that is important but rather how the item is acquired, that is how far a practitioner is willing to go to get what they desire. The destruction and maiming of a child, the exchange of innocence for guilt is seen by Universal Eyes to be a terrible thing that stains the soul. To be willing to use these indicates evil intentions which is magic far greater than any item could ever possess or add to a spell. Still, items frequently called for include: a stomach untouched by food, an unblemished heart, a sightless eye…"_

She slammed the book shut on her lap. That happened a lot in the little research she'd been able to do after David brought her home last night. She'd arrive at something she just couldn't stomach, put it away for a while wondering how she could ever read such a thing, then return to it later more determined, without emotion, and just get through it. She remembered now. That was what had happened last night. She'd read that very passage but gotten no farther than _"the destruction and maiming of a child" _ before she'd feared for what would come next laid it against her chest to work up her nerve to go on, and fallen asleep. At least she'd made it farther this time, though not as far as she would have liked.

She set the book aside, leaned back on the cot and rubbed her eyes. There was a time she would have fallen asleep reading some heroic or romantic tale, something fascinating that she ate up word for word. And now? Now everything was different. She woke up in the back of a pawn shop, she crossed the street to the public library, that was still not open to the public, to use the shower and change clothes in the tiny apartment, she went to Granny's for her meals, morning, noon, and night, then returned to the store and fell asleep reading things like…this!

The normal life had become abnormal, strange and unfamiliar to her. When was the last time she'd gone home? When was the last time she'd actually slept in their bed and ate something that didn't come from the dinner? When was the last time she drove to the supermarket? When was the last time she drove anywhere for that matter?! Her entire life had been contained to Main Street since she'd last used the car to go to the funeral. She supposed it wasn't that long ago but it felt like ages had passed. For all she knew the car had been stolen and was lying in a ditch somewhere. She'd never know it!

She let out a sigh and shook her head, trying to remember there was a reason she was here, a reason she hadn't gone anywhere, that she wasn't staying at the house. Determined not to lose time, or no more than had already been lost she stood and stretched. It was good David had called, woken her when he did. She couldn't just waste time with Zelena on the loose. Normal people had time to waste. She had a witch to foil, a riddle to unravel, and a lover to rescue. David had mentioned they wanted to find the book to help break this curse. She hoped they knew where else to look, where they could find it, and that it would work. Because she knew, somewhere deep down, that nothing would go back to normal, or even their strange version of normal until Zelena was destroyed, and if reading these books had taught her anything, it was that they weren't going to get anywhere until they could figure out what had happened in the last year…no matter how abnormal it might have been.


	39. Remembering the Depth of a Relationship

She'd showered on autopilot. She picked out clothes and got dressed without thinking about it. She went through the motions of a morning routine all the while never really feeling like it was morning, or that the days ended and started anymore. She couldn't help herself, her mind was otherwise occupied after David's call. All she could think about was what needed reading that day, what she had to research, what she could go over. Her mind kept running through all of the information that she'd gathered in the last few days and suddenly she realized that she was _trying_ to find a rabbit hole, to find something that she hadn't looked into, or had missed, or maybe even simply overlooked just so she could make sure she was covering all the bases!

But she couldn't help the growing nagging feeling in the back of her mind that it wasn't enough. That she was running out of time. Or worse. Deep down she worried that she had too much time. That research and reading could only get her so far before action was needed and her usefulness ended for them. There was only so much she could read so much to learn before she might have to admit defeat and they'd retire her to the shadows again.

She shook her head as she fixed her earrings and pulled out a few bracelets. She had to keep thinking positive, to go over everything, to keep reading until her eyes bled if that was what it took. She had to…find her ring. No sooner had she put her bracelets on her arm did she look at her hand as if something was missing. She stared for a second before it clicked. The ring. The gold band she liked to wear to remind herself of him, to keep him close to her, to keep her thinking hopefully, where had she placed it?! She glanced around the apartment, checking surfaces, trying to remember where she'd been and what she'd done in order to find it.

"Bathroom!" she remembered suddenly turning and marching back into the still steamy room. There it was, right on the sink where she'd left it! She picked it up and stared at it. Funny how attached she was to it when he wasn't around. She hadn't been wearing it long, only since he'd gone to Neverland and during this, whether or not it had carried over with her to the Enchanted Forest, maybe she'd never know, but she couldn't help but think how strange it was that she felt naked without it…or was it just without him?

Suddenly it didn't matter.

The ring didn't matter.

The bathroom, the apartment, the town all faded away as she was vaguely aware of the ring falling from her hand and clattering to the floor below.

She let out a gasp at what she felt…a pulse. An invisible pulse of pure energy that shot straight up the walls and the floors, that began in the soles of her feet and moved up to the top of her head.

She'd only felt a pulse like that once before, what seemed like an eternity ago, when she'd been standing on a hill knowing nothing about herself or who she was or why she was there and who she was following. Then, the entire façade she'd been living had collapsed around her, like a decrepit old building had fallen down to let the light in. One minute she hadn't a clue who she was and the next she did and more importantly she knew who he was.

This time it felt different. It wasn't her entire self that she'd been missing just a year. She felt as though the entire time that year had been standing behind a door in her mind that she'd been trying to find the key to. She hadn't found that key, but one way or another the door was open now, and the last year quickly ran back into her memory, firmly placed itself in her minds eye, took substance, and…hurt.

She felt herself gasp again and covered her mouth in shock but also horror and pain because the feeling in her chest was just unbearable. Instantly, she began to mourn, truly mourn the way she should have days ago but couldn't because she didn't have the memories. But now...now she did, now this ache inside of her had far more meaning to it. Mourning was natural. Because she remembered everything! About the curse, about Zelena, about Rumple, but most of all...she remembered Neal. She remembered Neal and everything he'd been to her and done for her…everything he'd meant to her. Tears cascaded down her cheeks and she fought to catch her breath as she let out a pitiful cry as it all hit her too hard, too fast.

She remembered.

The layers, the depth, the meaningfulness of their relationship.

She remembered.

She remembered her gratefulness, how she'd frequently thought that in the end Rumple had left her a final gift, one thing to keep her together on the nights when hope was hard to find and even harder to hold onto. It was him. It was his son, Baelfire. It was Neal.

She remembered.

He hadn't just been her friend. He'd been her everything when she felt as though she had nothing! She hadn't had the capacity to be anyone's friend or anyone's…anything just after he'd died. She hadn't been able to give as a proper friendship required. But she'd been able to take. Baelfire had seen her need and given graciously even when she was too weak to take!

She remembered.

Hook was right, she had run away when they got back to the Enchanted Forest. Not out of fear or anger but from grief, from feeling like she just couldn't bear to be around people. They'd barely been there a minute and she'd turned on her heel and run away from them, from her pain, from her sorrow, and gone into the forest because the living hurt. The gaping hole in her heart had burned! She should have been lost to those woods, died not long after he had, but she hadn't gotten far before Baelfire had come after her.

_I've got her. _He had. He had stuck with her. She'd run. He'd come after her, convinced her to stay with them, and brought her back to the group only moments later. He'd made sure she moved and ate something, found her something to wear that she could travel in. No, they weren't friends first.

He was her big brother. He looked after her, took care of her when she couldn't take care of herself. After they'd moved back to the castle, even once he'd given her reason to have hope that she'd see him again, he had been the one to see how miserable she was there, how much she hated living in a castle again and needed to be away from there. He'd found them a place to live. A place to plan their escape to get their family back. And when her father had sent a man after her, to "talk" to her he'd sent them away, practically dared him to try and take her away while he was there.

She remembered.

The moment they'd become friends was burned into her memory, just as much now as it had been then. The way she hadn't been able to sleep, how she'd sat that night outside by the fire pit so her dreadful cries wouldn't wake him, the way he'd heard anyway and started a fire before sitting up with her until dawn came. They'd talked. They'd talked a lot in their brief time together. They'd talked about his father, his mother, where he'd been, who he'd met, what he'd seen. They'd talked about her, about the family she'd said she didn't have, about who she'd been, what she'd been! It took her a while to disclose their story to him, how she'd ended up in the castle and what she'd done there, what had happened afterwards. She hadn't wanted to taint how he saw his father any more than he already was, but she'd done it eventually, because in her mind it was too important not too and she figured with as close as they were it was better coming from her than from his father. He hadn't been thrilled at their story, how he'd treated her at first, but in the end he seemed to have understood.

In the end she knew why he'd told her about Baelfire. It wasn't for the reason she thought, it might not even have been for the reason Rumple had thought. His stories, his memories, they existed in her mind for Neal. So he could hear them and learn about his father, so that he could know that he was loved, that his father regretted letting him go the moment it happened. So that he could love his father again.

They had a lot more in common than she thought they would have. They both had parents that had made questionable choices when it came to them, they both hated being told what to do, and they both hated being sheltered, watched. She could remember how their friendship had grown the more and more the royal family checked on them, the more and more trapped they felt, as if they were being monitored. She could remember the plans they'd made that night by the fire pit, when they finally couldn't take all the waiting around, to sneak away and go to the castle. They'd worked together perfectly, a wonderful team. He was patient, good at listening, and always willing to take instructions. He'd contributed, suggested ideas, worked on the details of their travels. In fact, they hadn't had any problems working together, spending time together, until…until it had all gone wrong.

She remembered.

Her heart squeezed in her chest making her feel like it was shrinking to nothing at the memories. She remembered that horrible day, the one time he hadn't listened to her, hadn't been patient enough but desperate to get back to his son and Emma. She remembered the snow, the smell, the weight of the candlestick in her hand when she'd had to run. She could remember how wonderful it felt, for the brief two seconds that she'd seen her true love emerge, that she'd held Baelfire in her arms, that he'd looked up to see his family there waiting for him, and smirked because for all of two seconds they were all together and alive. They'd suceeded, Neal had been right, and everything had been fine.

Until Zelena had showed up. Until she'd confessed what the candle had already told them, that it was what she'd wanted, something she'd planned all along, and she and Neal had played right into her. She cried at the images of Rumple as he'd struggled, trying to save his son and himself, just like the moment before Neal had gone through the portal. But this time there had been no choice between his power and his son. He would choose Baelfire, he'd always choose Baelfire, he had chosen Baelfire. He'd thrown his dagger to the ground, absorbed his son into his own skin to save him, and allowed the witch to take him from her once more.

She choked on her tears at the memories. It had been Neal…but it had also been her. She should have fought harder, seen through the candle's story and trusted her own instinct! She should have protected him from himself as he'd protected her from herself. Her heart hurt too much to stand and she felt herself crash into the wall behind her and slide down onto the floor in a heap unable to support herself under the weight of sorrow and grief as she wept into her knees at the horrible moments she held in her mind again.

She remembered.

No. They weren't all horrible. They should have been, with everything that she'd been through, but they weren't. Neal had made sure of that, made the difference in her life. He was the candle in a dark room, giving her brief glimpses of light to lead her away from her own darkness. They both were for each other.

She'd promised him once that he wouldn't mother him, that she understood that he didn't need it and she wasn't going to do that to him. But as time had gone on, she found herself unable to keep from doing it. It was the last bit of their relationship, the final layer, the one that never got the opportunity to grow beyond the one single solitary conversation they'd had and the occasional odd warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. The times she'd set dinner down in front of him and he'd thanked her. She'd given him a small pat on the back, nothing more than a friendly gesture, but felt it then. The one moment he came back from hunting and he'd shown her a button that had popped off on his glove. "I can fix that," he'd let her, and she felt it then. During their first days back, before they'd moved away from the castle and he'd gone out searching for what would be the small home they ended up sharing.

"I'll be back later," he'd told her securing a cloak over himself.

"Come find me when you do, please?"

"I know, I will," he'd nodded, "promise."

"And be careful!"

"Don't worry!" he'd insisted, "I'll be back before dark, count on it and save me a spot at dinner." But she had worried. She'd worried each and every time he was away! She worried after Zelena had taken the pair of them from her, worried every time they'd sat down and tried to come up with a plan, worried right up until she sat in her bedroom alone, in the castle again, knowing the curse would hit soon, hoping that maybe Emma would be able to do something to save them all, to save Rumple, to save the man that one way or another she'd come to see as her brother, her friend, and her son.

Their age difference didn't matter, at least no more than the age difference that separated her and Rumple. She'd missed him as if she'd been his mother. She missed him now as a mother should and a million other ways, a million other layers. They'd been close, they'd been all each other had…and now he was gone. Dead. In the ground. Buried. And she hadn't ever truly been able to know what she'd lost then.

She knew now. She understood. And she couldn't keep her tears away as she mourned as she should have then. Her chest heaved when her tears ran out, when she didn't have anything left to cry but still couldn't leave her thoughts behind her. She buried her head, curled into a ball, and didn't even try to calm herself. She missed him. She missed him so much it hurt.

He'd kissed her once. Just once. On the cheek. One of their first nights together after he'd taken her out of the castle, that night at the fire pit when she'd cried and they'd both been frustrated by a visit from David because it didn't let them go off and find a way to get their family back like they wanted too. When she'd lost hope, when she'd finally suggested that their dreams might be for nothing he'd scooted closer, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and surprised her by kissing her cheek. "We're going to figure this out, ok?" he whispered as she'd cried into his shoulder. She'd nodded, wanting, needing to believe his words. "My father's the only one that can get us back there. We have no choice, we have to figure this out."

That night-it was the only time that she'd felt everything for him all at once. He'd talked to her like a friend, held her like he might a little sister, but he'd kissed her, comforted her, as if she had been his mother.

She could use his comfort now, his encouraging words, his caring presence. They could use his help…no. No. He'd already helped. He'd given his life to tell them about the witch, to free Rumpelstiltskin so they could protect themselves. He'd kept her safe again. All of them. Only now she could remember it.

She remembered…

She remembered! She could remember the last year! The realization slammed into her just as quickly as her memories had, sobering her quickly. She had the missing year back! It was tragic, and terrifying, and horribly sad, but it was all there when it hadn't been only an hour ago. And if she had it, then…

Without another thought to the past she wiped the tears from her eyes and pushed herself up off the ground, firmly placing herself back in the present, before grabbing a bag and her keys and heading for the door…leaving her ring behind on the bathroom floor.


	40. Good Signs and Bad Signs

She had her memories back. Now what?

The others. She had to talk to the others and make sure, be positive that it wasn't just some fluke or miracle that she'd gotten her memories back. It was the only way to be sure that this was the successful result of Charming's call to her today stating they were trying to figure out how to break the curse. There were people out on the street, they were smiling, some of them were even stopped as they hugged each other. A good sign but not proof. She could ask them or she could follow her gut…literally. David's call had woken her up late, it was nearly lunch time and she still hadn't eaten yet. This time of the day, the diner was the best place to go to find her friends.

She hurried down the street, doing her best not to slip on the quick melting snow from the short shower they'd had that morning, and when she opened the door she was greeted with the sound of happy cheers and the smell of alcohol. A celebration. That was a good sign, and she smiled as she looked around at the dwarves and Archie swarmed with men that looked like they'd been living in the forest but all had large mugs of beer in their hands. Of course. Robin Hood and his men! She knew them now, they'd been friends in the forest. She remembered and by the look on their faces they remembered her. Definitely a good sign.

"Belle!" she glanced up to see Ruby coming toward her, a smile beaming ear to ear on her face.

"Ruby!" she threw her arms around her just as she did and let herself be happy for what had happened, despite the terrible memories the last year had brought back to her.

"I remember!" Ruby said excitedly. "I remember! Do you?!"

"Yes," she pulled away and looked at the small crowd around her. "Yes, I remember. Everyone else?" The dwarves, the ones that weren't missing, and Archie were there, as were Robin Hood's men, but there were also people in the diner that looked like they'd just stepped in for a normal lunch and had just been there when the curse broke. Everyone, including the strangers, nodded happily at her.

"Here!" she glanced over as Granny filled a mug for her and slid it across the counter. "On the house, we're celebrating!"

"The curse broke!" Leroy exclaimed looking at her. "How'd they do it?"

"Does this mean we can defeat Zelena?" Archie asked right away. It figured that out of all of them he would be the one that remembered the situation at hand, that their missing memories were not the worst thing going on at the moment.

"I, I don't know," she answered. "I guess…" Yes. She did know. Not the answers to their questions necessarily, but she did know now. She remembered. They wouldn't know. They wouldn't remember. The five of them, the Charming's, Regina, Robin Hood, and her, had gone off into the forest, traveled for days to Rumple's castle to get the information about how to defeat Zelena. And once they had it, with Mary Margarets due date quickly approaching and time running out, they had immediately gone North to search for the solution to their problem. After Snow, David, and Regina came back with the knowledge of what they had to do they'd gone right back to the castle. That journey had taken time, Snow had been close to delivery and they couldn't wait anymore. They'd gotten back in the morning and that night they'd cast the curse. None of their friends, none of the people here, would know why the curse had been cast, there wasn't time to explain. They would just know it had been cast...not by Zelena.

"We wanted to get back to Storybrooke," she told them, "to find Emma. She has light magic, she's the one that can defeat the witch!" She remembered! It was there, all of it, right back where it belonged!

"Wait…we?" Ruby asked.

"You cast the curse?" someone questioned behind her.

She shook her head, still trying to put it all together to remember the plan that they'd made…a week ago! Ten days ago! It seemed so much farther away than that! "No, it wasn't me. It was Snow. Mary Margaret, David, and Regina, they cast the curse to get back here so we could stop her."

"Snow White and David cast the curse!" Yes. No. Not David. Just Snow, just Mary Margaret. Or it should have just been Mary Margaret. Something had gone wrong it had to have gone wrong. They didn't understand, they weren't around when they'd been trying to stop Pan when all of them had had a discussion in the back of Rumple's shop and it had been explained that the curse required the heart of the thing the caster loved most. David hadn't helped cast the curse…he'd been the sacrifice required…or should have been.

Clearly something hadn't gone according to plan. If it had they would have arrived back here ten days ago, memories intact, and David would have been dead! She didn't understand, she couldn't understand! She couldn't figure it out because she hadn't been in the room when the curse was cast. She'd wanted to give Snow and David as much privacy as possible, Regina was necessary because she could remember how to create it but ultimately it had to be Snow that cast it with her sacrifice! So why was David still up and walking around?

Behind her she heard the door to the diner open and close but unlike when she entered, the room got silent and still. When she glanced over her shoulder she saw why. Regina and Robin Hood. Still, Regina didn't seem phased by the less than warm welcome. She didn't think she'd ever seen the Evil Queen with a smile that genuinely happy. It was another good sign. But she didn't know why she was with Robin Hood instead of Henry. Another problem?

When the pair sat down at the counter, just as normally as if they were there for lunch, she moved away and took the seat next to Regina. "Henry?" she questioned, glancing at her.

If it was possible, Regina smiled more. She took a deep swallow that made her think she was trying hard not to cry as she nodded. "He remembers," she confirmed happily in a quiet pensive voice, as if she was reliving the moment over and over again. "He got his memories back. He remembers me!" Beside her Robin Hood smiled and reached out to gently rub the Evil Queen on her back, a friendly gesture that she still wasn't able to afford the woman even after the small bit of progress they'd made.

Still, she was happy to hear about Henry. Ecstatic! She'd been upset, horribly depressed days ago when she'd run into the boy that had once asked if she was his "grandmother or something" and realized he didn't recognize her, wouldn't know what his grandfather had done for him, and now wouldn't remember what Neal had given for his safety. He would now. He'd recognize all of them, not just Regina. She'd been upset, but hadn't realized just how upset until this moment. So where was he then? Where was the rest of the Charming family? Surely Emma didn't go after Zelena right away without making a plan!

"Where are they?" she asked Regina. "Henry and Emma."

Regina smiled as Granny set mugs of beer down for Robin Hood and Regina as well. "Henry wanted to see Neal. They took him." She was even happier at that pronouncement. It was good. It was something that Henry would want to do, and frankly now that she remembered, going to see Neal and mourn her friend as she should have days ago was all she wanted to do too. But she couldn't. Not yet. She couldn't see Neal until she had Rumpelstiltskin, until she could keep the promise that she'd made to him the last time she saw him. She had to take care of his father first, living before the dead. It was the only thing she could do for him now. But saving Rumple required information, information that she didn't have. As happy as she was that they had their memories back, as much as everyone wanted to celebrate the small victory and forget their miserable past, this wasn't over yet.

"So, what happened?" she asked, keeping her voice low so the others in the diner wouldn't overhear them as they'd gone back to talking. "Did Snow White cast the curse?! How is David-"

"No, she cast the curse," Regina confirmed, her happy smile disappearing as she thought back to that day. "But we hit a small snag after that."

"A small snag?" she questioned. It didn't seem like "a small snag". She'd call these last ten days a very big snag!

"Zelena showed up," Regina explained, "but the curse is unstoppable so she changed it. She altered the curse so that when it was enacted we'd lose our memories, we wouldn't remember her or the last year, or why we'd come back to Storybrooke to find Emma."

"She bought herself time."

"And it would appear that a time travel portal can be created from any land." Apparently, and she was going to make note of that in his books just as soon as they figured out how to stop the time travel portal completely.

"So was it worth it? Can Emma do it? Can she use light magic like the Good Witch told you."

Regina nodded, and that same smug smile that she'd had on her face the night of the showdown suddenly returned. Another good sign. "David and Mary Margaret said that the witch told her only the most powerful of light magic can defeat her. After what we just saw, yes, she can do it. She's powerful, more than even she knows! She just used light magic to save Henry from Zelena without even knowing she was doing it. Now all we have to do is figure out how to get her to know how to use it, channel it…and get close enough to use it. Did you figure out why she wants the Charmings Baby?" she asked suddenly, as if considering something, already moving on and plotting the Wicked Witches demise.

"No," she muttered shaking her head. "All the time travel spells call for three major ingredients, I don't know why she's trying to add this one. Do you have any ideas, anything that makes sense?"

Regina only shook her head. "No, we're just as clueless here as we were there, only now we have Emma on our side."

"And David?" they both glanced over at Robin Hood who had been listening but not actually contributing to the conversation. But now that he brought it up again, she wanted to know the answer. It was the only thing that still hadn't been answered.

"How is he up and walking around if Mary Margaret cast the curse?" she clarified.

"True love," Regina stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I've learned before that not even death can part those two. Snow cast the curse, just like we planned, and after Zelena altered it she insisted that I split her heart. Half for her. Half for him. Cliche as it sounds, now they really do share a heart."

They shared a heart! They shared it! That was possible! "What could the effects of something like that be though? Could a person survive with only half a heart?!" Could a woman deliver a baby with only half heart?

"Well obviously," Regina stated. "But I've never heard of it happening before. I don't know if there would be side effects."

She shook her head and turned in her seat, overwhelmed at the thought. It was just one more thing she'd learned true love pairings could do. Did that mean they could do it then? "More research to do…" she muttered to herself.

"With the curse broken just be grateful you'll have time to figure it out after all this is over. If it hadn't happened then we all would have-" Regina suddenly jumped as her cell phone went off. She pulled it from her pocket and looked at the screen, perplexed. "Emma! They can't be done already," she commented leaving her seat and heading outside to take the call.

Robin Hood watched her go then glanced back over to her. "It's a relief," he stated, "knowing what we missed, knowing what happened."

"It feels good to have it all in place," she confirmed, and it certainly felt better than the last time the curse had broken, it felt better than the time she'd woken up after being Lacey! She remembered this. Her friendship with Robin and how it had bloomed in Neal's absence, how he'd become more and more absorbed into their group because with Snow's belly growing bigger and bigger he'd correctly assumed that they needed an archer around. It felt good to have her memories restored. But it also felt tragic in some ways. She could remember Neal, but she could also remember Rumple, trapped, held prisoner in his own home. Driven insane by the son he loved. It was a painful memory, but the one ray of light had been that she'd gotten through to him, even then. It was hopeful.

The same sound that had woken her that morning suddenly chimed from within her bag again. "Suddenly I feel like you all belong to some special club my men and I don't," Robin Hood muttered beside her as she rifled through the contents for her phone. She offered him a smile at the funny comment and went back to digging. Yes, it wasn't all bad. She was happy to have another friend in Storybrooke. There! Finally her fingers closed over the small device Rumple had given her and she glanced at the screen. Emma! Hadn't she just called-

Suddenly Regina made her way back into the diner looking stunned. Something had happened, something bad. She could feel it.

"Regina!" Robin Hood stood and went to the woman, obviously sensing the same thing that she had. "Regina what is it?!"

Regina looked between the two of them her horrified look never swaying. "We're out of time."


	41. Instinct, Love, and Light Magic

They were out of time. Their celebration at the discovery of their missing year was premature because the worst thing that she could imagine happening right now had happened. Mary Margaret had gone into labor. She was on her way to the hospital at that very moment and Regina had said that according to Emma it wasn't going to be a long delivery. So she supposed then, that they did have time. But only until Mary Margaret gave birth, only until Zelena arrived for the baby, only until she made it back to wherever she was planning on creating the portal, and cast the spell! She supposed that they had time, but right now she felt as though they'd completely run out.

Nearly everyone in the diner mobilized. Robin Hood gathered his men. The dwarves and Archie volunteered to drive as many as they could over to the hospital. And in the strangest turn of events she'd seen in the last year, somehow she'd ended up, voluntarily, in the back seat of Regina's car speeding toward the hospital.

She broke a few speed limits, but seeing as how the entire police department was at the hospital she didn't think that it was going to be a problem. In only a few minutes they arrived. "Everything seems normal!" she exclaimed looking at the building. At least it looked normal on the outside; an old lady in a wheel chair, a couple of people in scrubs standing outside smoking, she figured that if Zelena had showed up she would have turned the place upside-down!

"Everything seems normal so far," Regina corrected as she began trotting up to the doors. "It won't stay that way for long!" She and Robin Hood followed her inside. The witch wasn't there yet, but it wasn't difficult to see that the staff were expecting them. They didn't have to ask any questioned before someone pointed down the hall and shouted a random room number at them.

"Mom!"

Henry. There he was speeding down the hall, straight for the Evil Queen, the other woman he knew as "mom". He really did have his memories back. What a relief! Or it would have been if they weren't under the threat of Zelena. "Henry!" Regina threw out her arms for the boy and hugged him before moving away and holding him at arm's length. "There are more people coming can you go out front to wait for them?!"

He nodded eagerly and raced off down the hall. She'd forgotten the one trait that he had in common with her, that desire they both had to be heroic, helpful. She was glad that he was back. But she had to stay focused, in this moment only. They rounded the corner and saw what looked to be a waiting room ahead of them. A waiting room. She hated being here, but she wasn't here for herself, she was here for Mary Margaret, for Emma, and Henry. She was here for Rumpelstiltskin.

"Regina, you're here!" Emma shouted appearing in front of them.

"We're here. Zelena?"

"Nothing yet, but Mary Margaret's not going to be long."

Regina nodded. "Quick deliveries. That happens with the product of true love." Regina looked over to the wall, which was made of glass that glimpsed into Mary Margaret's room. She'd read that babies born of true love were delivered quickly, it had something to do with the magic they contained. But at the moment, Mary Margaret looked like that birth couldn't come quick enough. Suddenly Regina shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it onto a chair. "We're going to raise a protection spell, here, around the room to keep Zelena out.

A protection spell? Like the kind they'd placed around the buildings in town? The kind that Tinkerbell had warned her might not work?! She and Robin Hood moved into the room and she made sure her bag, and the freezing spell, were close by…though she knew that because it was tempered with her blood it was more or less useless in this situation. The only one it would save was her, and she'd need it to help the baby as well.

"You really think this protection spell will be enough to hold her off?!" Emma asked when she saw the familiar shimmer of the spell wrinkle through the hall.

"Depends if your brand of magic is stronger than hers," Regina answered walking confidently back into the room. Her brand of magic. Light magic. It depended on Emma, but it also depended on the Good Witches information being accurate. "If it is," Regina went on, "no one wielding dark magic will be able to get in here."

"That doesn't sound like a vote of confidence," Emma observed.

"It isn't," she answered wringing her hands nervously, "but we're out of options."

"Swan!" they glanced over and saw Hook coming into the room. He was here too then. They all were, or would be, she supposed just as soon as those in the diner finally ended up here as well.

Regina gave them some privacy and wandered back over to her and Robin Hood, but not deliberately. She looked like she was wandering around aimlessly, just waiting for something to happen, good or bad. She knew from experience that even when things seemed to be without hope, it was better to be optimistic. She felt as though she was lacking that at the moment, but she could at least pretend.

"We aren't out of time," she reminded her. "And we aren't out of options, not yet, not until the baby is born and the spell is cast." Regina didn't exactly look like she believed her at the moment and kept casting nervous glances through the window to Mary Margaret. "You said Emma was strong, that she had light magic, that you saw it!"

"Yes," Regina nodded, "yes, she used it to save Henry a little bit ago...but it was a fluke! Emma's magic isn't exactly concentrated yet and Zelena could easily defeat her if she over thinks what she's doing. Her magic is rooted in her instinct right now, we haven't really gotten passed that point. Until she has confidence in that instinct she'll get nowhere."

"Light magic," Robin Hood asked, looking between them, "I never did question you in the forest, what is it exactly?"

She glanced over at Regina but she was staring into Mary Margaret's room again, not paying them any attention. "Light magic," she sighed, realizing that not only was it up to her to explain it, but that she could do it accurately, "it's a specific type of magic produced by good. Nearly all magic can be divided into either Light or Dark. Dark is the product of evil, wicked deeds, guilty hearts, malicious intentions. Curses, poisons, and certain spells are all capable of producing and using Dark magic. Light magic is the exact opposite. It's the product of good, kindness, love, and patience. Certain spells and potions, counter curses, and antidotes are all able to harvest Light magic."

Regina glanced over at her, looking surprised. "Someone's been reading more than fairy tales this week," she commented.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. She'd figured out the time spell, what did she think she'd been doing all week?! "It sinks in after a while," she muttered instead.

"So why Emma then?" Robin Hood asked. "Why do we absolutely need her? There has to be someone else-"

"Glinda supposedly told David and Mary Margaret that only the most powerful of light magic could defeat her. True Love is the strongest light magic there is, David and Snow, the true love they possess, for as long as they've had and used it...Emma was born with it in her. Right now, we don't have time to go over every birth in the history of our realm to find another like her." And with that, Regina wandered away to stare into the room at Mary Margaret and David…who was leaving! She glanced behind her and saw that Emma had gone and Hook was following her down the hall as Regina took up her pacing again.

No, not pacing. She watched as Regina casually leaned against the corner of the wall her face concentrated. She was listening. But listening to what?

"What is he gonna do?! I have magic he's got one hand!" she heard Emma suddenly exclaim down the hallway. No, she yelled, complained really. Who was she fighting with? David? Hook? Why? And an even better question at the moment why was Regina suddenly grinning like the best thing in the world had just happened!

Movement caught her eye and she suddenly realized Henry was coming back down the hall with Grumpy. Regina was listening. Henry and Grumpy were coming. She and Robin Hood were waiting. Mary Margaret was about to give birth and she couldn't even begin to figure out what was going on with Emma down the hall. She hated this, there was too much going on, too many people to watch and keep track of. Was there strength in numbers? Or should they maybe have just taken Mary Margaret home and kept the birth under wraps? Would Zelena even know that she was in labor?!

"Hey kid!" she heard Emma call again as she walked back down the hallway.

"Hey mom," he sighed looking excited, "is the baby here?" Did he know what would happen the moment the baby came? Had someone explained that to him yet? Regina moved away at her sons words, before Emma could emerge and spot her eavesdropping.

"Not yet but he will be soon," she heard her breathe as she reached forward and grabbed her sons arms. "I'm sorry but I have to go, I have to take care of this witch, but it's gonna be alright, and I'll be back before you know it."

Go! She was going! Leaving! "What's happening?" she asked Regina as she rejoined the small trio they made. Two minutes ago there hadn't been any hope left and now-

"She's going after the witch," Regina told them as she watched Emma and Henry.

"Didn't you just say that wasn't going to work?" Robin Hood questioned.

"She's not doing it out of reason," she explained. "She's going out of instinct. That's what we need, that's what she's got to do! That's our last option," she muttered her hands wringing again as she glanced in at Mary Margaret. If this was so good, if this was what they needed then why did Regina look so worried!

"I'm not worried," she glanced over her shoulder at Henry, who had seemingly read her mind.

"Yeah?" Emma questioned.

"Defeating bad guys is what you do," the boy explained confidently. Clearly Emma was touched, as she reached out to hug her son. It really was nice to have him back, he provided a nice contrast to the dread and panic she knew they were all feeling.

"Light magic," Robin Hood stated looking at her as Regina stepped between the two of them. "True love is of light magic?" he asked clarifying something or other he was working through in his mind.

"Yes," she nodded as he glanced over at Regina who was reaching out for her son.

"Go!" she told Emma firmly. "I'll keep him safe."

"Thank you," she heard Emma breathe looking the boy over. She wasn't sure she believed a lot right now, but she believed that Regina would keep Henry safe or die trying and Emma knew it too. Maybe that would help her, maybe with that assurance she could do what needed to be done.

"You ready, Swan?!" she heard Hook call out from somewhere down the hall.

She watched as Emma turned and began her determined walk down the hallway. "Yeah, let's end this!"


	42. Unstoppable

End this. She was all too ready for "this" to be over. But all she could do now was hope that it would be over, sit still, and wait. Wait for word from Emma that they were safe again. And if word never came? She didn't want to think of what that meant for them.

Footsteps running down the hall distracted her and she saw Robin Hood move around her and step in front of Regina anticipating the danger that was coming. But it wasn't the witch. It was Archie and Tom Clark, and Robin Hood relaxed his protective stance immediately. "Did we miss it?" Archie asked, glancing into the room David had reappeared in. The curtain was closed at the moment, she assumed to get Mary Margaret into the yellow gown she'd been handed.

"No," Regina answered, "not yet."

"The witch?" Clark sniffled.

"We're working on it…or at least Emma is," Regina explained holding Henry under her arm like every moment was precious. After what they'd figured out last night, she knew, if Emma didn't succeed, then every moment was precious.

"And until she returns she won't be alone," Robin Hood finally shouted. "My men and I will position ourselves out front and prepare in case she arrives here."

"No!" Regina resisted…firmly. Too firmly.

"Hey Henry?" Archie suddenly muttered in the suddenly awkward space between the Thief and the Queen. Space that was too awkward to be normal. "Let's get something to eat while we wait." Archie held his arm out for the boy and after glancing between his mother and Robin Hood he moved on with the cricket. The moment he was gone, Regina stepped up next to the man. Too close to be casual. Sudden reactions. Reassuring glances. Invasion of personal space. The way he'd rubbed her back at the diner! The way he'd looked at her when he asked about…love. True love.

"You're not going out there!" Regina insisted. "You'll be killed, you and your men. What will your son do then?" And she was concerned for his child! Where had she heard that before, where had she seen that before?! In her bathroom mirror, every morning since she'd once pulled the cloth off the mirror he kept in his castle.

"I've faced many fearsome creatures in my life," Robin Hood insisted, "this witch is nothing I can't handle." And he fought back without fear of retaliation, because he knew…she wouldn't hurt him. She recognized that confidence! "Besides, it's as much for little John as it is for you."

She felt her jaw drop at that sentence because it made every speculation she had fade away into nothing.

Regina.

Robin Hood.

Regina with Robin Hood.

Robin Hood with Regina.

Robin Hood, the man that she'd first met in a dungeon, that she'd saved from Rumpelstiltskin's arrow because he'd had a pregnant wife, the one he'd once told her he was responsible for when she'd died!

With Regina. With the Evil Queen! With the woman that had held her captive for decades!

The thief and the queen.

The pair that had fought like cats and dogs during the last year in the castle.

Robin Hood and Regina.

Regina and Robin Hood!

No. No matter what way she thought about it, it still didn't make any sense to her. But then...

What sense did a beautiful princess devoted to a cursed man make? They'd fought too in the beginning, not the way they had, not openly but she'd certainly defied him where she could and he'd disapproved in loud angry bursts. In fact they still fought with each other! She was probably the only one in the realm that could scream at him without fear of retaliation...just like Robin Hood did with Regina.

"I was a lookout for Snow and Charming once before," Grumpy explained as he stepped up to Robin Hood and broke the gaze the strange pair made. "It'll be my honor to do it again!" he proclaimed before he and Clark left the room with Robin Hood, obviously against Regina's wishes.

The woman turned back to her then, glanced at her as if she had forgotten she was there, as if she'd forgotten where she was. She knew that feeling too! And worse, one look and she knew that Regina knew exactly what she was thinking. They had something in common now and it was-

"Try not to act so surprised," she stated in a deep offended monotone voice as she plopped down into one of the chairs. Try not to act so surprised? She closed her mouth but didn't know how not to be surprised! She'd seen a lot of the Evil Queen in the last year, seen more of her than she cared to since she got back from Neverland. How was she not supposed to be surprised when she saw her sitting there, staring at her hands…blushing?! Regina was blushing! Blushing…just like she did when…

When he kissed her. Or when he touched her. When he complimented her in the morning and told her he loved her for no reason at all. She leaned her head against the wall and gave the woman some privacy to collect herself and resume the mask that she wore for the world but dropped for only Robin Hood. Obviously she wasn't as flawless at that cover up as Rumpelstiltskin was…yet. She'd get there, eventually. Or risk the world seeing how she was changing.

True love.

It was amazing what it could make people into, how innocent it could make even the darkest of people. It was amazing what it could make them do! Rumple was a good man. She knew that. He loved her, would do anything for her, and he was just as devoted to her as he had been Baelfire. _He'd die before he ever hurt me. _That was what she'd told Ruby. That was what convinced her that he really did love her!

She smiled, suddenly thinking of that day she'd fallen off the ladder and nearly died. He'd told her once that it was the minute he began to suspect that he felt more for her than he should have and he would have stopped at nothing to make her better again if anything had happened to her. After days of paging through his spell books she now knew the extent of that. He'd have broken the laws of magic if he had to. He would have used the darkest and lightest of magic, summoned all four of the elements to…

Her smiled faded, her neck snapped up, and she felt her jaw drop once more as something sparked in her mind that hadn't before.

The elements. The elements of magic. Four of them. She'd read about them once, but hadn't come back to them when she realized they weren't going to be of any help. Was she wrong? Could she have missed it? Was it really that obvious?! She'd only read that section of the book once, skimmed it really, but suddenly she felt as though she could remember all of it perfectly. Was that her mind playing tricks on her? Wishful thinking, perhaps? Or was it simply because she'd been thinking of them all week and just didn't know it? She didn't know if she wanted to be right or wrong.

"Regina," she breathed, needing to clarify the thoughts connecting in her mind.

"What?" she asked, looking over at her as if she was bored.

"The elements of magic," she went on ignoring her, "what are they?" Regina only looked more annoyed, like she couldn't believe she was troubling her with something so simple at a time like this, after what she'd just seen! "It's important," she stated with urgency, "what are they?"

Regina glanced at her for a moment longer then finally gave an annoyed sigh. "The elements of magic," she parroted, "love, knowledge, strength, and purity." Her stomach tightened a little more with each one named and her jaw dropped again as she sat forward. That was it! "I guess you didn't absorb as much as you thought you did," Regina snapped at her. But she was wrong. It was the very opposite, she had absorbed more than she thought she had! The previous practitioners hadn't gotten the ingredients wrong…they'd missed one.

"Love," she stated, looking at Regina, "as in something represented by a heart, rooted in emotion, present experience, and relationships. Knowledge, represented by a brain, made stronger by one of the oldest most knowledgeable minds in existence. Strength-"

"Courage," Regina continued on with wide eyes, finally catching on, "represented with a sword, harvesting its strength from a Prince willing to do anything to change the present he was given, to change not just his future but the future of the woman he loved. Innocence-"

"Represented by a baby, the most innocent of all imbued with the most powerful kind of magic that true love can create," she finished for her, the final element. "The spell she's using, it requires all four elements…not three."

Regina shook her head slowly, as if she was soaking it all in, or maybe just trying to find a way to disprove her. "But three is the perfect number in magic!" she argued looking over at her. "It's powerful! It literally represents past, present, and future!"

Belle sat back in her chair at the pronouncement. She was right. Three was the perfect number, she'd read that herself but it was the only thing that she couldn't make sense of in this spell. Everything else fit! Perfectly! The elements, the representation, it was all there. Three was powerful, but four was…

"Stability," she muttered, remembering what she'd read. "Three is powerful but it's not enough, it's not stable." She had it, she knew she did because suddenly everything she'd ever read made perfect sense, even more so than it had a second ago. She had the last piece of this horrible jigsaw puzzle. "Some spells require an ingredient to channel it, to guide it! That's why none of the other attempts were successful. Three has never been powerful enough to ground the spell, without a proper rooting the magic had nowhere to go but to release itself into the world and cause the catastrophes I read about.

"And the practitioners! Most of them died and the ones that didn't were weakened afterwards because their magic wasn't strong enough or pure enough on it's own! But with four, with an element to root it, an element that contains strong magic like a child born of true love, she'll have something powerful enough to control the spell, something to concentrate past, present, and future together to make a proper portal instead of just a ball in magical energy. The fourth element provides the outlet and she's going to use the child's magic in someway, to enhance her own, so she's strong enough to go back in time without destroying herself first! If she gets the fourth ingredient-"

"The portal will open," Regina concluded for her, sounding stunned and amazed. But her eyes, there was something reflected in her eyes as they both heard Mary Margaret yell in the midst of birth pains next door! The lights flickered dangerously. "If that's true," Regina went on, catching her eye again, "and she gets this baby-"

"Then nothing will be able to stop her."


	43. Standing Up and Falling Down

They'd figured it out. _Finally_, they'd figured it out! They knew what Zelena needed and why she needed it! But the knowledge brought her little comfort. Knowing her plan, what it meant, how could it? What difference would an explanation make if Zelena succeeded?

"We have to call Emma!" Regina stated jumping to her feet and grabbing her cell phone. But calling Emma and telling her about the spell was useless, she knew that.

"What good will that do?" she questioned. There were no loopholes, no counter curses or antidotes, no portals they could use to fix this. It was simple. If Emma didn't defeat the witch, if her light magic, her instinct wasn't strong enough, then nothing was going to be able to stop her from getting the baby. And if she got the baby then this reality, this life, was doomed. "Unless Emma has the ability to rewrite magic or change one of the elements then what more could she do to stop this that she's not already trying."

"I don't know!" Regina snapped at her. "Maybe…maybe they can take something. Steal one of the other ingredients, buy us a little more time to come up with something to counter the portal!"

"Portals don't have counters," she pointed out, remembering her research. "Potions have antidotes, curses and spells have counters, but unless I missed something a portal is a doorway. Doorways can't be undone or reversed. They're meant to open and close again, nothing more." Regina glared at her with annoyance but didn't argue, which meant she'd gotten the information right and Regina didn't want to admit it. Or maybe it was a matter of wishing the information wasn't right, maybe she just didn't want to give in and admit defeat. She didn't either but they couldn't rewrite facts, they had to figure out how to use what they had.

"Alright…" Regina thought for a moment sitting down again. "Doors can't be undone but they can be sealed shut, made unusable. That's a simple enough spell."

Yes, it was a simple spell, but that was because it was simple magic. Could simple magic be used to contain complex magic? "Will something like that work?" she questioned. Wouldn't it be like trying to use a butterfly net to catch an elephant?

"I don't know, but it's worth a try!" It was she supposed, they could try and seal the portal she intended to use, make the land unusable in some way. But then…

"And what's to keep her from opening another one somewhere else. Seal one door and you can still open a window-"

"I don't know!" she yelled at her again, clearly frustrated, her eyes asking her why she was being difficult and trying to poke holes in her ideas. But she wasn't poking the holes she was just pointing them out. There was a solution to this! She believed that, all hope wasn't lost, not yet. There was a right plan. They just had to find it somewhere and maybe if she pointed out the holes she saw then they'd find a better plan. One that didn't have so many holes in it to begin with! "This is all we've got at the moment," Regina stated suddenly, standing and pronouncing it as if it was a royal proclamation. "At the very least it might buy us time to succeed if Emma doesn't."

Her stomach twisted at her confident words…they were too confident. "You say that like you expect her not to be," she muttered. She didn't need words for her answer, just the look she was giving her. She didn't expect Emma to succeed.

The lights around them flickered ominously again. "Magic," Regina muttered, "we're running out of time."

"Mom!" Henry called, coming back down the hallway with Archie's guiding hand on his shoulder. "Is everything alright? Is it time?"

Regina glanced back at her, then fixed her face into one of maternal calm and reached out for her son. "It won't be long now. Belle was just going to tell the others what's happening."

She was? She glanced at Regina confused for a second before the double meaning clicked in her head. "Right," she muttered standing up, "I'll let the others know," she explained excusing herself. She still wasn't sure what exactly Henry knew and what he didn't. But if he was as clueless to it as she suspected he could believe she was just going to tell the men that were supposed to be guarding the hospital Mary Margaret was nearly ready to give birth. But she knew what she was really going to tell them. Even if it would do little good in the end.

But something was wrong, something was going on. She heard…yelling? And footsteps? She hurried forward toward the commotion, then rounded the corner and saw…Leroy? Leroy and Tom Clark, huddled together, ducking down behind a desk, their eyes trained on something she couldn't see. And Robin Hood, or at least Robin Hoods men, with their cross bows raised toward whatever Leroy and Clark were staring at. Her stomach twisted, but her feet continued to move, she'd built up too much momentum to stop. Why had she left her bag behind? Why hadn't she had that vial of freezing potion glued to her hand at a time like this?! The way she promised herself she would!

"Aim true for Little John!" she heard Robin Hood yell, but watched as suddenly all the men collapsed to the ground! It was bad. And worse, before she could call for Regina, before she could get the message to her brain to stop walking and run, the pair of them rounded a corner. Her heart automatically sped up and Rumple nearly missed a step when he caught sight of her. His eyes were filled with panic as he continued his motions, pleading silently with her to turn and run! She wouldn't. She couldn't! He wouldn't hurt her, she knew it, she could feel it! Whatever had happened in the forest that day was an enigma, he'd been fighting off the Dark One and Neal, but he wasn't now! As far as she was concerned, Zelena couldn't do anything to her unless she had the gull to do it with her own two hands and even then she was confident he'd find a way to stop her.

"Oh!" Zelena remarked as if pleasantly surprised to see her. "Didn't you learn your lesson the last time?" she questioned holding the dagger out like her own personal shield again. "This is more powerful than your true love!"

No. No it wasn't! "I refused to believe that!" she stated firmly. If that were true her kiss wouldn't have broken his curse decades ago and she would have been dead long ago when he'd been ordered to kill her in that forest! But clearly she was the only one to see that logic.

"Belle, go!" Rumple commanded, begged her really. Obviously his desire to protect her wasn't overcome by his curse.

"Listen to him dear," Zelena insisted passing her by as though she was nothing but an irritating fly.

"No!" she spat at the witch, who looked at her almost surprised by her sudden outburst. Or maybe it was just the fact that someone would dare to talk back to her in the presence of the dagger and the Dark One. But she didn't care! When had anyone telling her to do anything for him or against him ever succeeded? When had his attempts to keep her from entering into danger for his sake ever stopped her?! The pair of them still had to have an argument about that and she was going to have that conversation with him one day or die trying! She was sick of being away from him more than she was with him. And she was beyond angry, beyond furious with this woman for using him as she was! For taking his dagger, his freedom, for separating them, for tricking her and Baelfire, and killing his son and her best friend!

"You have put him through enough pain!" she screamed at her without an ounce of fear.

"And I'm not nearly done!" the woman only growled in her face. She caught a glimpse of a swift motion out of the corner of her eye and gasped at the sudden urge she had to sleep as her legs turned to jelly. She tried to fight the familiar sleeping spell...but knew it was useless...she'd failed to save him yet again…


	44. Fight Until the World Melts Away

"Wake-up, sister!"

The words were harsh and insistent and followed by a hard shake to her shoulder...in otherwords it was the exact opposite of the gentle and loving way Rumple always used to rouse her from sleep when they were together. This was violent, forceful. And she wanted to obey the voice, she wanted to wake up but her eyes felt like they were glued together. "Come on, Belle. Wake. Up!" She felt her head roll limply against something hard and it was the uncomfortable snap that finally forced her eyes open. "No time for sleeping, sister, we've got an emergency here!"

Here? Here. She glanced around and it all came back to her. She was there, the hallway she'd been in when Zelena had marched in with Rumpelstiltskin behind her. She was sprawled out on the floor, though not as bad as she thought it would be. Her skirt was tucked conservatively around her legs, her arms were placed comfortably by her sides, and her head…didn't hurt! She didn't expect that.

The breath left her body as she forced her groggy body into a sitting position and Leroy, satisfied that she was awake, moved on quickly down the hall. She leaned her back against the wall as she collected herself and put it all together in her mind. She remembered knowing what had happened, that Zelena had put her in a deep sleep, that she was going to fall…her head should hurt! But it didn't. Nothing on her body ached as if it had collided with the floor. She felt perfectly fine, as if she'd…as if she hadn't fallen. As if someone had caught her and laid her out perfectly before she could hit the floor. Someone who would worry that she'd hurt herself, who would know to smooth her skirt and make her as comfortable as possible without even thinking about it, who would want her to be safe.

Rumple.

He'd been standing right in front of her. It wouldn't have been difficult for him to take the two extra steps to grab her after what Zelena had done. It would have been his instinct, the same over protective one that drove her crazy sometimes she was suddenly thankful for. Would the witch have wanted him to catch her? Had he fought off an order? How could he…suddenly she felt her heart stop and she looked around her, toward the hallway that Leroy had disappeared down. Her stomach rolled and she used a metal cart of some kind to pull herself to her feet. How long had she been asleep? Where was he? Still in the hospital? Was he here? Where was the baby?

But no sooner had she taken her first few steps was she ambushed with determined faces. Emma, Hook, Charming, Regina, and Robin Hood. They were all striding down the hallway, their eyes almost dead as they moved, focused on something else, and she knew the instant that she saw them...it was too late.

"Wait!" she called out as they moved around her without a single glance. "Wait, what's happening?" she asked walking up next to Robin and practically running with them to the lobby. When had Hook and Emma come back? Where was Mary Margaret or Henry? Where was the baby?

"The witch captured the child," Robin Hood answered her almost breathlessly. "We're going to stop her."

She nodded, understanding but also suddenly nervous. Of course they would. This fight wouldn't be over until the world around them melted away into the world Zelena wished she'd have. "Right," she swallowed, "I'll ride with you again." She saw Robin nod but before she could make it out the door Regina turned on her heel.

"You're not coming," she corrected with a shake of her head. Even in a dire situation she still offered her that same amused smile she'd come to expect from the Evil Queen. The one that told her she thought the very idea of her coming along wasn't just stupid, but so ignorant it was adorable.

It only irritated her. She knew what she was signing up for and they were going to need her help with Rumpelstiltskin. "I'm coming with you," she insisted, motioning to the door Emma, Hook, and Charming had just disappeared through, "to, to fight Zelena. To get Rumple, the baby, to stop all this."

"You want to fight?" Regina asked, that same irritating smile growing on her face. "What exactly do you intend to do? Throw a book at her?" She opened her mouth to argue but Regina put an impatient hand out to silence her remark. "It's too dangerous. And just because you know about magic now doesn't mean you're magical."

"I can help with Rumple, he won't-"

"You've already tried and failed multiple times to use true love to sway Rumpelstiltskin, there is nothing to suggest you'd be any more successful now than you were before. So you're going to stay here and let us go and try something else that's not such a gamble!" she stated moving around her. But Belle only gritted her teeth together in anger at her comments. It wasn't a gamble! She'd just never really gotten a fair opportunity to use it!

"No," she muttered, turning and scrambling once more to cut Regina off again before she could leave the hospital. She looked surprised and irritated that she'd stopped her again but she didn't care. "I'm not just going to sit here and do nothing! I can get through to Rumple, I can help you!"

"Not from where I'm standing."

"Then look harder! I may not me magical but I've got an entire shop full of magical items. There must be something that I can help you with, something you can use, something that I can use."

Regina stared at her flabbergasted for a moment, her jaw hanging open in shock. But she didn't move, just continued to hold her ground. She wasn't going to just leave them to do this on their own, not now that she felt like she could be of use to them! But behind her she heard the engine of a car roll over, the quick squeal of tires and breaks, and a glance over her shoulder told her that Emma, Hook, and Charming had just sped away.

"This is absurd!" Regina finally stated. "We need to go and you are wasting our time!" This time she let her pass, let her walk around and didn't chase after her. She was torn. On the one hand Regina was right, the others were already gone, they needed to stay together as a group, and without any way to defend herself she really would be a liability. But on the other hand she was right too. She might not be magical as they were, or good with a sword or a crossbow but she wasn't average either. She was certain she could help in some way…she just needed to figure out how.

"Regina!" Robin Hood called after the Queen. She risked a glance between the two, between Robin Hood who was looking at her with sympathetic eyes and Regina who was already standing outside looking like she was growing more and more furious by the moment.

"What now?!" she snapped at him, and for a moment it sounded so much like one of the fights she would have had with Rumple that it threatened to bring tears to her eyes. She needed him to come back to her, if she wasn't going to be allowed to go she had to make sure that he was going to be okay. She couldn't lose him again. She couldn't go through it, not last year, not now, not without Neal!

"She can't help now but perhaps she could be of assistance for later," she glanced up unsure whether she should be surprised that the man she once met as a thief all those years ago was advocating for her or not. "What do we intend to do to Zelena once we've captured her?"

"You mean if we don't kill her?"

"We only mean to defeat her," he commented, "I don't think light magic would be light if it had intentions worse than that. If we bring her back alive we need to be able to do something with her." She could see the emotions across her face. She wanted to go, she was near furious with Robin Hood for being the one to nearly stop her, but she also recognized that Robin Hood had a good point. Something she thought that she could help with.

"Fine," Regina spat, stepping up to her once again crossing her arms over her chest as if she was fighting not to use them in a magical gesture that would put her to sleep as her sister had. "You can't create spells and potions but you can use them," she stated though more to herself as if she was thinking something through in her own mind. "I don't supposed you've seen an entrapment potion sitting around the shop."

She could have sighed with relief as she nodded. There was something she could do. "It's orange," she proved, "it seems to wink or, or glitter every few seconds. Yes, there is one in the shop."

Regina glanced between her and Robin Hood, then a second later, created a glass vial from purple smoke in her hand. "An entrapment spell is the opposite of a protection spell. Instead of keeping a person out it keeps the individual in." She watched as Regina reached over and pulled an arrow away from Robin Hood and poked her finger. "Orange means the potion is unfinished. It needs blood to know who to keep in. Finally we can use blood magic to our own advantage instead of Zelena's," she sighed as she held her finger over the vials opening and let a few drops fall to the bottom before handing it to her.

"Add that to the potion and it'll change color. Go to the sheriff's station, spread it around one of the cells, and that is where we'll put Zelena. Magic or not she won't be able to escape. Now, come on," she spat at Robin Hood. "We're late."

She watched her walk away toward the car that they'd arrived in. She should have felt good…felt useful, but her stomach only turned as she watched Regina go. They weren't going to save Rumple, they were going to save the baby. She wanted the child back too but she didn't want them to carelessly disregard Rumple's life in their zeal. If she couldn't be there, she needed to know someone would reign Regina in. And she knew exactly who that was, because if the roles were reversed, if Regina was in trouble and it was Rumple going after her, she would have been the only one capable of getting through to him.

"Please!" she begged catching Robin Hood by the arm before he could chase after her. How ironic, the woman that had been held captive by his true love, was about to ask for help from the man that had been held against his will by her true love. But it wasn't as simple as all that. Robin Hood was good, he was her friend...she trusted him. "Please, I know I have no right to ask you after what he did to you, but after what Regina did to me I figure we're even. Please, please make sure that Rumple is ok, make sure that he comes back to me." Robin Hood heaved a heavy sigh as he glanced at Regina's waiting car before looking back at her. "Please," she plead again.

"We'll do our best, Milady," he stated, then quickly ran out the door and folded himself into Regina's car, which took off so fast smoke burned off the back tires.

They were gone, the car had disappeared before she even had a moment to consider that the next time she saw it, he might be inside of it. Or he might not. Her nerves were on fire and she felt like she was going to be sick! This was it. No more games. No more buying time. If this didn't work then the world around them was going to change rapidly. And if it did…she glanced down at the vial of blood she held in her hand. They had a job to do, just as she did. She just hoped that they understood how important it was for them to succeed in every way possible.


	45. His Freedom Returned

She had a job to do, an important one. She didn't know what exactly the group was planning, if they were just going to seal the portal as Regina suggested or if they had come up with some other kind of plan but she knew that she had to assume that they'd succeed. She had to believe she was going to go back to the jail cell and they'd meet her there with Zelena in hand, preferably powerless. But in case they didn't, the entrapment potion would help. She just had to get it. She could run to the shop, she'd done it once before when Jefferson had freed her and told her to go to him, but it was a long run, and a dangerous one in the shoes she was wearing. She was much better off driving. And she knew where to get the car.

She turned on her heel and walked back to the room, toward Mary Margaret. Henry was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall just outside the room. "Henry," she breathed. "Where's Archie?!"

He motioned to the door over his shoulder. "With Mary Margaret," he muttered. Of course with Mary Margaret, the one person she would regret leaving alone at the moment. Or would she be?

"Okay," she sighed, looking at the boy. What a terrible time to notice just how much he'd grown in the last year? A horrible time to realize how much his father had missed and would miss. "I'm going to need you to sit with her so Archie can give me a ride. Can you do that?" Henry nodded eagerly again, almost happy at the suggestion that he get to do something. She didn't know how comforting the boy would be, but she needed Archie and it was better than leaving Mary Margaret with nothing, at least she'd have family.

"You won't have to say anything," she suggested, wondering how she could possibly prepare the young man to sit with a grieving mother. "Just be there and if she wants to talk, let her talk, Archie will be back soon," she hoped. She hoped, Archie would be back soon, but there was no need to worry him any more-

"It's okay," he assured her with a determined nod. "I can do it."

"Alright," she sighed looking him over, it wasn't ideal, but what choice did she have?

"And thank you, by the way," he insisted suddenly. He was thanking her? At a time like this thanking her for what? "For the books," he stated, his gaze prompting, reminding her to think of the time not long ago that she'd seen him before all this. "A lucky guess?" he questioned, and even in the direst of times he made a smile pull at her face as she remembered the "guess" she'd taken at his love of adventure.

"You didn't have your memories and it was the best I could do," she explained away.

"I know...thanks."

Thanks. Neal's son, Rumple's grandson, thanking her! Henry, her almost grandson "or something". Whether they had time or not she couldn't resist the urge to reach out and pull him quickly against her in the hug that she knew should have been Neal's. He wasn't around to do it himself, with time and a steady hand Rumple would be, but for now she was all he had. "You're father loved you," she whispered. "So much more than you'll ever be able to know unfortunately."

"Yeah," he mumbled back, his arms tightening around her waist, "I know."

Good, that was all she could ask of the boy for now. An acknowledgement that he knew there was something missing in his life. They could handle the rest later. And they'd have to, because as much as she wanted to sit down with him and tell him of the time she spent with his father over the last year she knew she couldn't. She had to go and she needed him to be the young man he'd grown into, the one his father would regret never knowing most of all. "Alright," she sighed again, pulling him away from her. "Ready?" she asked looking at him, he nodded eagerly.

Quietly as possible she opened the door and peered in to see Mary Margaret facing away from the door, looking away as if she was afraid someone would see her cry. But she wasn't ignoring people completely, Archie held her hand tight in his own, and appeared to be trying to talk to her, or was until he heard the door open and looked over his shoulder at her. She made a quiet motion for him to join her. They exchanged surprised glances but as she grabbed Henry and practically pushed him into the room, the cricket released Mary Margaret's hand and joined her in the hallway.

"I really don't think she should be alone right now," he whispered as he closed the door behind her.

"Henry will sit with her, he can do it," she explained before turning back down the hallway to collect her bag and the useless freezing potion, happy to hear Archie following after her. "I have a job to do," she informed the man, "I need you to help me."

She expected more argument, a logical reasoning behind why he should stay, but he didn't say a word, only nodded and followed after her. It was perfect. He drove her back to town, dropped her off at the shop and said he'd drive around the block to get her again in a few minutes. She dove back inside the shop and found his black bag, then located the potion she'd seen days ago. Orange; but not for long. Carefully, she used an eye-dropper to a retrieve the few drops of blood that Regina had left her with and deposited them into the pre-made liquid. The potion bubbled and fizzed for a moment, smoke poured out of the opening, but when she fanned it away with her hand she saw only a scarlet liquid. Perfect! If she remembered what she'd read then that was what it was supposed to look like completed.

Without a moment to spare she grabbed the potion and ran outside again, to find Archie waiting there as he'd promised. "The police station," she told him slamming the door behind her. He didn't question why or what the potion in her hand was, just sped forward and took her to the station as she'd requested. The only time he argued with her was when he parked the car and she said she didn't need him anymore, he could go back to the hospital and wait with Mary Margaret. "Wait that's it?!"

"That's it!" she confirmed.

"Do you want me to stay with you, just in case…"

"Either they'll succeed and bring Zelena here and the situation will be under control, or they'll fail and it won't matter," she stated. Then said good-bye, because she wanted to anticipate the former and not pay the latter any consideration. It wasn't a threat. It wasn't. They were going to succeed. And because she knew they were, she turned on the lights, opened the farthest jail cell, and used the eye dropper to slowly spread a thin line of the stuff around cell. She had to use it conservatively so she had enough, and a couple of times she even wondered if she would have enough, but then, finally with only drops to spare, she saw that same white shimmer that came from protective enchantments like this coat the walls before vanishing.

Perfect. She'd done it. No, she might not have been magical, but after all of this she felt like she knew it inside and out now, or at least could, given enough time! He'd be impressed, or at least she hoped he would when all this was over, when she got him back, when he-

Her heart felt small as she suddenly heard a door open. Was it them? It had to be! Who else could it be?! She moved around the wall to look down the hallway to see the witch…and Regina. She'd been hiding behind the taller woman, but now she saw that she was holding onto her elbow with one hand and in the other…the dagger!

"Rumple!"

"Oh, he's fine!" she snapped as if her concerns were childish. Maybe they were, but she was too happy to care. He was fine. He was alive. He was free! And she couldn't wait to see him, to leave this place and…

"Where is he?" she asked, looking after them down the hallway as if expecting him to be there. Regina shrugged as she led Zelena, who suddenly didn't look nearly as threatening or tall as she once had, into the jail space.

"He disappeared before we left the farm!" He disappeared? Of his own free will. In that case she knew exactly where to look for him. He was alive, free, and himself again and the first place he'd want to be was somewhere he'd feel safe, at home. The shop. If he hadn't come straight to her then it was the place he'd take himself to soothe his soul…it was the constant in his life. After everything that he'd done under Zelena she knew he wouldn't want to face people, maybe not even her. But he wasn't going to get his wish because he didn't have to worry that she'd be angry with him. She couldn't wait to get to him. But first…

"I put the spell around that cell," she informed Regina, pointing.

"Doesn't matter," she drawled putting her sister in the cell almost gently. "We've got her necklace…she's powerless."

The necklace, the one her power was tied to the one they needed powerful light magic to get from her. They got it! Emma had succeeded! And without that piece of jewelry Zelena looked small, tired, and frightened, looks she hadn't seen once on her in the last year as she examined her new home in the cell before spinning around to meet them. "What are you going to do to me?!" she chirped at Regina, looking just downright terrified as she fetched keys from a desk somewhere.

"I'll deal with you in a second, sis," she told her, locking the door. Not a hiss, not with spite, or even in an angry tone. She sounded patient, caring almost. Resilient. It was remarkable. "But first," Zelena handled Regina turned back and looked at her. "But first you and I have something to discuss." Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at her, she tapped the blade of the dagger against her hand as if considering something then placed it into the folds of her jacket. "In the hallway," she nodded, toward the opening.

She felt numb, like her body wasn't quite functioning or aware of how it was acting or why it was doing the things it was doing. What did she want to talk to her about? Why did she need to talk to her? And why was the dagger folded into her jacket. Thoughtlessly she moved around the woman and collected her bag and the freezing potion, the entire time her mind going over the same terrifying thought that as long as Regina had that dagger in her jacket her Rumple still wasn't free!

When she turned Regina made a motion to the hallway, but before she could go with her Zelena suddenly grabbed the bars of her prison and pressed her face to them. Her scared, terrified face.

"Please!" Belle jumped back as she pressed closer and begged with tears shining in her eyes. "Please, don't let him hurt me! Please, don't let her order him to kill me! I'm, I'm defenseless now! No magic! I'm innocent! You can stop him! You have true love, please! Please, protect me! Please!" she reached through the bars to grab her arm but she stepped back just in time to avoid her. "Please," the woman begged softly looking as though she was about to dissolve into tears.

She turned to look back at Regina, not sure what to do or say at the plea. _"Don't let him hurt me!" "Don't let her order him to kill me!" _"I said I'll handle you in a minute!" Regina insisted, before reaching forward and roughly grabbing her by the arm to pull her out of the room. She fought. It was a natural instinct after the last time Regina had men seize her and place her into a cage. "What are you doing?!" she screamed, wondering if their delicate truce had ended, if Regina was going to go back to the woman she'd been before Henry had come into her life! If she locked her up again-

But the second they were in the hall, she released her arm and motioned that she should be quiet, but it was the look in her eye that convinced her to calm down. She didn't look evil or wicked, somehow she barely resembled that woman who had long ago ordered her sentenced to a tiny tower for an eternity. She was calm, stopped struggling but she couldn't be at peace! Regina still had the dagger! It was there in her coat. Regina had the dagger! No! They hadn't just traded the terror of one witch for another, had they? She didn't like that dagger in her hand any more than she had in Zelena's hand. Her body tingled in anticipation as the Queen cast a glance over her shoulder to where she could no longer see Zelena, removed the dagger, and stepped up to her. What was she going to with that? Summon Rumple? Kill Emma? Kill her? Should she take it and run? Pry it away from her while she still could? Could she?

Regina sighed and tapped the tip of the dagger against her hand again. "I think this belongs to you," she said after a minute holding the dagger out for her.

Her jaw dropped and the breath she'd held in left her lungs as she reached forward and snatched it quickly out of her hands, happy that even if she didn't know what was happening she'd had the mental capacity to know that she couldn't leave it in threatening hands for another second! Her. It belonged to her? He belonged to her, she'd always believed that, but he didn't belong to her by force it was always by choice. It was strange…how many times had she wanted to hold this dagger in her hand this week, to protect it, make it secure again! And now that she held it why did it feel heavier than it looked, why did it suddenly seem unattractive? And why, was the Evil Queen who had once been hell-bent on ruining everyone's happy ending, giving it to her this easily?! Shouldn't she have had to pry it out of her hands as they had with Zelena?!

"Why?" she asked, curling her fingers around it and holding it close to her chest, as if she feared she'd reach out and take it again!

"Because I can't think of a better person to guard it without ever using the power," Regina explained. She was right. That was why he'd felt safe enough hiding it in the tower with her in the first place! But Regina realized it now too?! Stunning.

"And besides," Regina went on with a sigh, "after everything I did…let's just say I hope that this makes up for it in some small way?"

She felt like she was on the verge of tears. The Evil Queen! She was on the verge of happy tears because of the woman that had once brought nothing but sorrow into her life! She knew that it wasn't just him, that even the worst of people could turn good again. She swallowed her tears back as she nodded, turning the dagger over in her hands. "It more than makes up for it," she acknowledged. "Thank you," she muttered.

"No, thank you!" the woman insisted unexpectedly with a small friendly smile. "We never would have made it this far, never would have figured it out without you." The dagger. Recognition. Usefulness. It felt like everything she'd ever wanted…only something was still missing, something she couldn't be complete without. She wanted him back. She wanted to show him he was safe again, to wrap her arms around him, tell him she loved him, and prove that she always would. Happy as she was, she just wanted to go home.

"Thank you," she muttered again. This, it meant more to her than anything. It meant more than-

"Regina!" Zelena shrieked down the hall making her turn toward the scared noise, even if she couldn't see the woman. "Regina, what's going on?! What are you doing?!"

She glanced back to Regina to see her staring down the hall with a strange look of sympathy on her face again. Sympathy. For her! What would that sympathy get Zelena exactly? "What will we do with her?" she asked gently.

"For now, we're going to have a little talk," Regina stated with what looked like a confident nod, "but the rest of us will decide her fate later. Though some of us have the ability to decide more than others," she pointed out suddenly in a tone that made her shiver because the meaning behind it was clear. She had the dagger. Which meant...suddenly the knife in her hand felt like it weighed two hundred pounds. She was glad to have the dagger back wasn't she? Glad that it was safe? That she had it? Wasn't she? Her chest felt heavy as she walked out of the room, without another word to either of them. What could she say?! All this week she'd wanted the dagger. But now that she had it, she didn't want it, didn't want that responsibility, that weight, that curse!

But she knew what she did want, what wouldn't make her feel heavy or guilty but blessed and happy.

She needed to see him. Now.


	46. More Than Another Symbol

Despite the fact that the item currently sitting at the bottom of her bag felt like it weighed a ton, after a certain point, she could hardly keep from running back to the shop and thoughts of the dagger seemed to only fade away the closer she got. She could see the street. The shop. The door. Her hand was on the knob, it was unlocked and before she was even really aware of how she'd gotten then, she was inside. And so was he. She couldn't say she was surprised to see him there behind the counter, that she'd guessed right, but it didn't stop her heart from pounding against her chest and her breath from leaving her lungs. She glanced around, then behind her quickly to make sure the door was closed. It was, they were alone, the shop was theirs again, perfectly empty and private. Finally.

He gazed at her through a mirror at first, his look wavering between shock and amazement, but then turned and she could see nothing but desperation on his face. He needed her, she wanted him, and they didn't waste any more time apart. He walked from behind the counter, she moved forward to set her bag on the glass case as his arms opened, and before she knew it they'd met in the middle.

She was home. He was her home and right now it was easy to believe that she was his. It was over. Truly over. This horrible, terrible year that had all started with the moment she never should have left him alone in this shop was done. And she never wanted them to do something like this again. She welcomed the quiet moment they shared without words. She simply let it encompass them as held him closer every second easing tension that she didn't know had been there for a year! His arms were wrapped tight around her, tighter than they've ever been as she could feel every finger against her back, the beat of his heart against her chest, and a small sigh as tension fled his own body. He wasn't as filthy as he had been when she'd seen him before on the street, but he still bore unmistakable traces of his experience. His hair was greasier than usual, his smell was foreign, and he was wearing an unfamiliar suit.

He was different. But she'd expected that. There was no way to come out of something like this and not be different. But it didn't matter now. She didn't care. All that mattered was that he was hers again. They could fix what they could and deal with what they couldn't together. She'd made a promise to Neal...and she intended to keep it.

"I knew you'd be back," she whispered in his ear, feeling her smile stretch across her face. Someone had to say something eventually.

"Your unfailing faith…" he whispered back, "constantly astounds me." She hugged him tighter at the words and had to bite back her tears with a laugh. She didn't want to be sad, not now. They'd had plenty of times to be sad and there was no doubt there were many more to come, but this wasn't one of them. It had been a year, a year since they last touched, talked, a year since they stood in this very shop discussing their future. It felt like it was only yesterday, like the last year had been compressed in some mystical way. A lot had changed in the last year, but something's hadn't. His amazement at her loyalty had yet to sway. And while she wished that sometimes he would see her the way she saw him, that he'd trust her when she told him certain things, or wouldn't question what she felt for him, in some ways she hoped that amazement would never fade.

But as she fought to hold him closer she suddenly felt his grip on her slacken as his arms gently pushed her away. Far enough that she could see his face, his beautiful brown eyes, but close enough that he didn't have to let go entirely. He still held tight to her waist, as if he kept expecting someone to appear at any second and take her away from him if they weren't careful. With their history, she couldn't really blame him.

"And after everything I did…" he muttered in that same amazed tone.

"It wasn't you," she reasoned immediately. He'd been under the daggers control, he'd had no choice! The actions had been his but the motives had been the witches. Under different circumstances he'd have been there with her, fighting Zelena with the rest of them! Surly! He wasn't responsible. He couldn't be. "It was…it was Zelena."

But instead of accepting her words, instead of looking relieved or happy, he looked sad and tortured. As if he'd disappointed her. "It wasn't always Zelena," he admitted. She didn't understand and she shook her head, confused by the statement, wanting desperately to ask what he meant by that! But before she could open her mouth she felt the grip he had on her waist tighten again. "I will never comprehend," he sighed, "why you continue to stand by my side."

"I love you," she explained automatically, without a moment of hesitation. "Always have," she insisted, placing her hand against his cheek in an attempt to soften the worry she saw there.

If only it were that easy. He nodded, but still looked unsure and disbelieving at her words. It was the answer to everything, didn't he see that yet? Hadn't she proved it time and time again? No…no, she hadn't. Not today anyway, because she knew what she had to do to prove it to him today. The proof was still sitting in the bottom of her bag, heavy as a lead chain against her soul. But it wouldn't be for much longer.

She glanced at her bag before looking back at him, trying to find the words to explain, to bring the dagger into the conversation, but there was no way to do it, no good way at least. So she gave up trying to find one and broke their connection as the reached into her bag to pull out the dagger. She cleared her throat as she held it out in front of her, between the two of them. Actions always meant more to him than words did.

"How did you get that?" he asked a small waver in his voice. What a strange change. The first time he'd showed it to her, told her of its power, he'd looked at it with pride and spoke of it with reverence and respect. Now he looked afraid of it, nervous almost. She couldn't say she blamed him. She hated the fact that at the moment she could simply command him to give her the moon and he would. That she could inform him of the threat she'd made against Whale and he'd make good on it. Or worse, that because she held this dagger she could order him to kill Zelena or not and he'd do it simply because she spoke the words. She didn't want that power over him, she didn't want anyone to have that kind of power over him or anyone else, for that matter, ever!

"Regina gave it to me, to," she hadn't meant to roll her eyes but she couldn't help it as she recalled her words and felt herself choke on their deep meaning, "to make amends. But also because she knew I wouldn't abuse its power." It had been an unbelievable transaction. The power of this dagger, her handing it over, it was more than enough for her. She'd misjudged the Evil Queen horribly and she wouldn't forget what she'd done anytime soon. Regina had given it to her, saying it belonged to her but it didn't. He belonged to her. The dagger belonged to him. She sighed looking down at it. Regina had done the right thing, now it was her turn. This was the right thing to do.

"I want you to have it," she said, holding it out and offering it to him. She expected him to snatch it up right away and begin plotting where he would hide it next so that something like this would never happen again. But he didn't. He just looked at it, stared really, even took a timid step away from it as though it might burn him as he struggled with words.

"Why?" he asked almost nervously. Why? Because she didn't want to ever make him do anything he didn't want to, even accidentally. He wanted his actions and choices to be his own, otherwise she could force him to do every good deed imaginable but it would only serve to rot her heart and destroy his. She wanted him to do good because that's what he was…good.

"Because I believe in you," she answered. He might have been nervous about what he'd do with it, about what he'd done while he was with Zelena but she wasn't. She knew him better than anyone, better than he knew himself! He'd handled it for centuries before, he'd handle it now. Besides, the dagger was his freedom. No one had the right to take that from him again, to take his choices, or force him to do anything. It belonged to him and him alone.

"It's yours," she urged. "You're a, you're a free man!" But Zelena's words, her terrified face, flashed in front of her eyes, and the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Just promise me one thing," she smiled, it was a promise not an order. A promise to her, she trusted him. "Promise me you won't go after Zelena, you're…you know you're better than that." She knew it was unfair of her to ask the moment she'd requested it. She hadn't been the one held by her in a cage for the better part of a year. He didn't look happy at the request, and he certainly didn't look as happy as he had the last time they stood in this shop together. He looked older, more tired. In some ways he reminded her of that man that he'd been by the well so long ago. Just a man that loved a woman, and had lost his son. He looked sadder than he did then, but it was beyond understandable. Then, Neal had been alive, there had been hope of getting him back…it was gone now, and the woman that had taken it from him was sitting in the jail completely defenseless. And that was the only way that she could justify her request. Zelena was harmless now, it would have been murder and under his angry hands maybe even torture! And if she couldn't help him make good decisions now, if she couldn't help him be the man she knew he was before all this had started, then what could she do?

He was quiet for a moment, long enough for her to know that if she hadn't made the request or said those words he would have gone off to do just that the first chance that he got. But, finally, he gave a small, almost undetectable nod that made her heart soar. She knew he was a good man, and she knew that this was the right thing to do.

"Oh, Belle," he sighed, with something like relief as he took the weapon from her hands and turned it over and over again in his own. "What you are giving me is more than I could ever give you," he whispered regretfully. She only smiled. He was wrong. She'd given him freedom just as he'd given her freedom what seemed like eons ago. They were even in her mind, though apparently not in his. "But I will try," he concluded looking her over in that way that made her feel like she was the most treasured thing in the world.

"This," he said after a moment holding the dagger out for her once more, "this is trust. It means you trust me with all your heart."

She nodded as she grinned, beamed ear to ear. "I do," she answered softly with a small shrug of her shoulders. It was the most obvious thing in the world to her. Was he finally, just now, understanding that?!

"And I shall trust you with mine," he whispered, then, suddenly, held the dagger out toward her once more. She glanced down at it confused and even a little shocked. "Take it," he insisted. No! No, she didn't want it. She didn't want- "I am now," he went on, "and for all the future, yours."

She felt dizzy, like her head was spinning while the room stayed still, or maybe it was the earth suddenly spinning round them and this moment, she couldn't tell anymore. "Wait…what…"

Suddenly her heart was racing and tears were gathering in her eyes as she thought about all that he'd said to her. Now. And for all the future. The dagger. He'd offered a gift, a symbol of their relationship, and made a promise with it. She'd heard words like that before. But she hadn't felt the weight of them before because they hadn't come from him.

Gaston had said them to her, one night after dinner. They hadn't been a surprise then, she'd known they were coming since she'd been betrothed to him and her father had told her what was to take place that night earlier in the day. It was a tradition in her land, one her father told her to accept in order to move the betrothal forward. Her heart hadn't raced that day and she certainly hadn't felt like crying tears of joy. She'd been afraid then, terribly upset and she'd felt as though her life was coming to an end as he stood in front of her and her father, in front of members of the Kingdoms council, bowed and presented her with a clean sword on a purple pillow. "Belle, if it pleases you, if it pleases your father, I offer you the sword I used when I made my first kill. It represents power and strength, and I give it to you as a token of my affection and my intentions. If it is pleasing to your land then I will take your hand, now and for the rest of your days, in marriage."

The memory still threatened to tear a scream from her throat. But it wasn't Gaston before her now, it was him, her Rumple. And the smile she felt growing on her face wasn't forced, it was genuine and after a moment she realized that she had to fight to contain it! Did he know what those words meant to her? Their significance, what it was to offer a gift like this in her land with words like that? Or was she mistaken? Was it a fluke that she was simply reading too much into?

"What are you saying?" she finally choked out, needing him desperately to clarify what she'd just heard. He was smiling as he watched her nervously. It was one of his happy knowing smirks that she'd missed over the last year and she knew the answer before he said the words. He knew precisely what he'd just done. Which mean that he was saying-

"Will you marry me?" he asked with genuine uncertainty.

Prepared or not the words took her breath away. She hadn't been the one to respond to them the last time, her father had because she hadn't a choice and in the midst of it she hadn't the strength or courage to say anything much less what she really wanted to say. She had a choice now she supposed…only she didn't. She never had when it came to him. Her fate wasn't her own, it belonged to one other and only one. He had the power to decide her fate just as much she did now. How could he not? Whether they'd been married before now or not, they were already closely bound together that they may as well have been. And besides, it was on a dark night nearly a year ago that she'd already told him what the answer would be if he asked her to marry him someday. What else could she say?

"Yes," she smiled with a nod. "Yes!" it was like agony taking the dagger from him as was her custom, but she managed to set it on the table, away from them. Nothing, not even that was going to come between them again! "Yes," she repeated moving back into his waiting arms, where she wanted to be now and for the rest of her life, all of her future-their future. She kissed him and he welcomed her embrace, kissing her back just as fiercely as she was kissing him. Once, then again as fingers tangled in hair and arms tightened, then again on his neck as she hugged him and they happily held one another secure just as he had before and would, she knew, for the rest of their lives.


	47. Flawed and Flawless

She could have stayed there with him forever, held him in her arms for an eternity and never let him go. But, she supposed, she was going to. That was what he promised her. He would live forever because of his curse, and as he'd told Lacey, he could keep her by his side for just as long. They had all the time in the world and it felt absolutely wonderful. Too overwhelming not to want to just stand there in the peace and quiet for a few moments and share it with him.

So she pulled away and looked at him, then stole a chaste kiss from him before resting her forehead against his own. He was crying. She'd only caught a brief glimpse but she'd seen tears shinning in his eyes and smiled against him at the thought. She'd seen him cry before and she couldn't say that she was really shocked by it now. Marriage. It was a big thing for him to want, for him to let himself want enough to have it, especially after he'd been burned so horribly the last time he'd been married. It would be different this time around, she knew it. He had to know it too! She wouldn't leave as Milah had, never! She hoped that he never feared she would.

They broke apart as a sudden scream outside the shop pierced the quiet and made her turn to glance out the window, her heart hammering, her body prepared for an attack! It was a scream...but not one like she expected. It was good; celebratory. It was only a cry of excitement and happiness and once her heart stopped racing she realized that it made complete sense. The witch was dead and the woman remained, news was bound to spread like wildfire and she knew what would happen next, but she didn't care! She just turned back to him and let herself be consumed again in his arms as she ignored the rabble.

"There will be a party, I suppose," she muttered quietly, "to celebrate Zelena's defeat."

"That's all this town seems to do," he nodded looking her over. "Get into trouble and celebrate when it's over."

Yes, that was a sad troubling trend. But if all they had were these brief intervals of peace, then they had to take every advantage of them that they could. "I don't particularly want to go," she admitted, happy tears still somehow finding their way out of her eyes. "Do you?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"No," he whispered predictably. "No. Tonight is for you, for us." That was what she wanted. She didn't care what they did or where they went, just so they could be alone together. Just so long as she could hold him for a while before she slept and know that it was real, that he was alive again, and back where he belonged, right by her side. That was what tonight was for.

"Will you do something for me?" he asked suddenly. She nodded, beaming because the question was funny to her. After all she'd been through, after all they'd been through, how could he still doubt that she would ever say "no"? "Will you meet me at home?"

Well, she might say "no" to that. "You're not coming?" she questioned.

"No," he smiled, playing with the hair gathered at her neck. "No, I need to do something first, for you. It's a surprise." A surprise? Like the time he'd taken her to the cabin?

"You don't have to-"

"I know," he muttered, "but I want to. You deserve a special night."

"So do you," she added with a smile.

"I'll have it if you're there," he insisted. "If you'll let me do this one thing for you. Meet me at home. In half an hour?" She didn't want to be away from him, not even for a second. But he had his freedom back now, if this was what he wanted to do with it, use it for her, then she had to let him. Still, something about this moment, about leaving him alone by himself felt eerily similar. It was just an echo of another memory, from the time that she'd left him there with his father and he hadn't come back for months. No, he wasn't the only one to bear scars from his time away and just like him, she'd need to fix hers as well. Zelena was harmless, Pan was dead, there were no dangers, she had the dagger. There was nothing to worry about she may as well let him surprise her like he wanted.

So she did as he asked. She kissed him again, told him that he had a half hour and not a minute more, then left. The only thing she could think to do was go back to her apartment and collect the small amount of clothes that she'd been keeping there. It wasn't much, she felt as though she'd worn only simple skirts and sweaters, trying to hide the fact that she couldn't go back home for anything more, but she could now. He was there, he was safe, and that meant she was safe. Though she knew she always had been, she felt safe now, perfectly. That was the effect that he had on her, the effect his freedom had on her. Though she supposed he didn't really have it, she did.

She'd nearly forgotten about the dagger and she tried not to let the fact that it now resided with her bother her, but she still didn't like it, felt awkward with it. It meant a lot to her, truly it did, it was the most important thing in his life besides her and the fact that he'd turned it over was touching…but that didn't stop the fact that she felt woefully unable to protect it the way it needed to be. If it ever fell into the wrong hands...well, she supposed it already had, but that didn't mean it couldn't again! That didn't mean-

Suddenly a clock went off in the living room and her thoughts dissolved into an excited flutter in her heart. If she left now, she would be home at exactly the thirty minutes he told her that he needed. She could give him more time, but why bother. They'd been apart too long, she just wanted to spend every waking minute with him. So she grabbed the bag she'd packed and found her keys, knowing that he would probably use his magic to take himself home. Though it was strange. The car wasn't parked where she remembered parking it. Although she supposed it had been a long week, a long time since she'd driven home, much less anywhere. Was it her memory that was wrong? Or were her emotions simply making it fog. Why did she care?! She could wonder about where she'd parked the car later, just like she could pack later. Tonight she had a date and she didn't intend to miss it.

It was dark by the time she pulled into the driveway, but the house was a sight for sore eyes! She'd sleep in a bed tonight, an actual bed instead of cot. And in the morning she wouldn't have to cross the street to take a shower or get changed. Or go to the diner to eat. It was nice to be home. Even better, it was nice to know that he was home. There was one light on, at least that she could see, in the upstairs hallway, the one that led to their bedroom. She didn't care if thirty minutes was enough to get together whatever it was that he had planned. He was here, and surprise or not, she just wanted to be in the same place he was. She'd sit in the corner with her eyes closed for another hour if that was what it took!

It didn't. She knew he'd had enough time the minute she stepped into the darkened downstairs. There was a light, one that was flickering in the living room, glowing really and she followed after it to investigate. Her jaw dropped happily. It was the first time she'd ever actually seen a fire lit in that grate and it was beautiful. It made the room that looked as though it was an antique spark to life in a new and brilliant way.

"You're home."

She jumped and glanced behind her to find him there. Happy, alive, perfect. He'd showered, his hair was still damp but he smelled like himself again, he looked like himself, or at least the self that she was allowed to see. He'd left the jacket, tie, and vest upstairs, and the top buttons on his shirt undone. It was about as "dressed down" as he ever got, and it was a look that she imagined no one but herself had ever seen by his own choice. Did he know how he took her breath away?

She sped forward and closed the distance between them, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him in the firelight because she just didn't want to be away from him anymore. He kissed her back, but only for a minute or two before she felt him reluctantly pull away from her again, at least as much as he could still tangled together as they were. "I have dinner," he muttered. She wanted so desperately to say that it didn't matter, that it could go cold and they'd solve the problem of food in the morning, but her stomach wouldn't let her and gave a growl that they both heard. So she let him go and sat down on the couch before he brought her a bowl of what looked like pasta and a glass of wine. It was simple, but perfect. And she was just thrilled is wasn't a burger and fries.

Time passed quietly as they ate. For a long time there was nothing but the sound of utensils scraping against ceramic and sparks as the wood popped. She let herelf lean against the arm of the couch they were gathered on and admire him, looking perfectly happy and relaxed, as though nothing had ever happened. That was alright. If she wanted one night to pretend none of this had happened, he'd get it. He deserved that much.

"Did you know?" she asked as they ate, finally breaking the silence. "Did you know you were going to ask me to marry you or did it just happen?" It was the only conversation that she could think to have that wouldn't ruin the evening. They'd talk about Baelfire in the morning, Zelena too. They'd talk about what had happened to him this week when he was ready. About her own adventures when he had questions for her. But this, this was something they could discuss easily, something she wanted to know.

"Both," he answered after looking her over. "I hadn't exactly planned it but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it." He'd thought about it too then. Just as much as her?

"When?" she asked curiously? Had he thought about it as long as she had? Since she'd brought it up when he returned from Neverland? Longer? "Since last year? Since I told you-"

No. He was already shaking his head, denying the thought. "Since before the town line," he answered quickly, knowing she'd understand exactly what he was referring to. Really? That long?! "It had been a fleeting thought," he explained, "something that snuck up on me after you helped me hide the dagger, the morning after I told you about Cora." She tried not to act surprised, not to let her jaw drop, or tears sting her eyes. Longer than her then. Since before she'd brought it up last year, since before she'd thought to want it! And to think she'd been afraid he'd be frightened at the thought when she'd confessed it to him. "It was only a passing thought, but I think I always knew, even if I didn't want to, that we'd be here. Like this." Like this. Together. In love. Engaged! It was the first time she'd thought of the word, but that was the one she needed to use. They were engaged, going to be married, husband and wife! How had he lived alone with that thought for so long?

He moved closer to her suddenly, taking their empty dishes and stacking them out of the way on the table. "I have something for you," he whispered, "I nearly forgot..." she watched as he began to dig for something in his pocket. Something small, something-

Her jaw dropped at the item he pulled out of his pocket. Her grandmothers necklace. The one that had found its way back to her during the curse! The simple pearl dangled from the gold chain on his hand as he gently gave it back to her. In all the excitement this week she'd nearly forgotten, when they first returned and they were cursed she _had_ forgotten! Her necklace, she'd given it to him weeks ago, when they broke into his castle and she'd seen him there, mindless in his cage! Tearing herself away from him had been nearly impossible even with David pulling her along, but he'd seemed so comfortable around her, so calm even in his insanity! She knew Zelena would know they'd broken in and couldn't see the harm in slipping her necklace into his hands before they'd gone, hoping it would bring him comfort, clarity! Had it? She could remember that he seemed to understand and had handed her a single straw of gold, like the one David, Mary Margaret, and Emma had brought her. It had been with her until the curse hit and now...

It was downstairs, sitting on the table. She hadn't recognized it then but now with her memories back, she'd traced that golden straw so often in their land that she knew it by heart! It was downstairs, with her all along! And her necklace...

"You kept it with you!" she exclaimed taking it from him and looking it over with tears forming in her eyes.

"It hasn't left my side since you gave it to me," he admitted quietly. "In madness and mindlessness I knew it was yours and...you bring me peace, my beautiful Belle. You have seen me at my worst in more ways than I knew were possible, and even then you always manage to bring out the best in me. You are..."

His voice faded away and he shook his head, looking speechless. It was alright, with or without the confession she understood what he was trying to convey, and she was grateful for it! She leaned forward to meet him and pushed his hair out of his face. He was tired, she could see that easily enough in his eyes. Tender as the moment was, he was perfectly exhausted and it was more than understandable. Even if he'd had days to spend sleeping while he'd been prisoner he wouldn't have ever really been able to rest. He could tonight. They both could.

"We can go to sleep," she suggested while he watched her. "Maybe we'll both be able to rest in a real bed tonight."

He nodded as he turned to kiss her palm. "Eventually," he whispered before closing the distance and kissing her deeper than she'd kissed him when she first arrived. She forgot her arguments, she forgot how much she missed her bed and how much he needed rest. They'd get there eventually, but not at the minute. If they weren't going to talk, this was the next best alternative. Besides, they had an entire year to make up for.

They lost track of time there together. Their lips moved over one another until they were raw, his hands clung to her hair, over her back, pulling her closer at the waist, until he broke away and kissed her cheek, up the curve of her jaw, and down her neck. She smiled happily as she held him closer, savoring the feelings racing through her. Feelings physical and emotional she never thought she'd feel again when she watched him vanish, when she'd been confronted with the reality that the night they had after Neverland might have been their last.

A memory sparked somewhere from amidst the fog he was creating in her brain as he loved her. What she'd wanted for them after Neverland but they'd been too hurried to take the time for: fire, fine dinner, and lingerie. They finally had time for it! And if he didn't want to go to sleep right away, if neither of them did, they may as well take time to enjoy each other until they couldn't anymore. Fire. Dinner. Lingerie. He'd taken care of the first two she could handle the third…if only she could get him to part with her for a minute.

"I have something for you too," she whispered in his ear. He didn't stop, merely made an intrigued sound against her skin. He was going to make it difficult, but it was worth it. He was worth it. They both were. Their love was. So she managed to pull away a couple of inches.

"I need a minute," she smiled, "just one, before you come upstairs." He shook his head in argument and she wanted to give in and kiss him again, but she didn't dare. If they started now then they wouldn't stop, and she wanted this for him. A special night for the pair of them. "You'll manage," she insisted, rising to her feet and straightening her skirt before climbing the stairs up to their bedroom as quickly as possible. Anyone else and she'd assume she'd have two or three minutes, but she knew him. Right now he was counting to sixty and probably doing it too fast! With him, she barely had a minute. But it was fine, a minute was all she needed.

The black lace nightie that Lacey had made was right where she'd left it and, after safely tucking her necklace away in her jewelry box, she collected it quickly before heading into the bathroom. She had bought this long ago, when she'd been living in the apartments, thinking it would come in handy at some point but it had looked different then. Originally it had sported a pink lining under the lace, but when Lacey had found it in her apartment she'd been…less than enthused. She'd torn the lining out until it was nothing but that scrap of sheer lace, and worn it one night to try and get Mr. Gold to sleep with her, but he'd never seen it because he'd fallen asleep.

She could have thrown it away, but she hadn't been able to. Lacey had been good for her in a way, shown her a different side to herself. She was beautiful, she'd grown up knowing that, but Lacey had taught her that she could also be sexy and she felt like that was what tonight called for. She was glad she'd kept it and she hoped he would be too when she heard the door to their bedroom open. Sixty seconds…right on the dot.

The room was still dark when she opened the door, but there was a full moon out and she had no problem seeing his face, which meant he had no problem seeing her, which was obvious from the look on his face. "You look beautiful," he swallowed looking suddenly overwhelmed.

"Lacey made it," she admitted with a blush. That was the reaction, the look on his face, that Lacey had been hoping for, but she'd been the one to get it. The one he'd actually stayed awake for. The one he'd-

"I know," he muttered, eyes raking over her. Her jaw nearly dropped at those two words. He knew? He knew?! How could he know?! He'd never seen this before now! She would have remembered and there was certainly no way for him to know Lacey had made it! Not unless…

"You weren't asleep that night," she realized. It was the only explanation! He hadn't fallen asleep he'd just pretended to be so that…so that Lacey wouldn't force him to sleep with her. So he didn't have to betray her, even when she hadn't existed.

"No," he smiled with a shake of his head, looking absolutely startled that it had taken her this long to decipher that memory. It shouldn't have, now that she thought about it. He was a light sleeper, startled by the faintest of sounds and slightest change of air! All the noise Lacey made, everything he'd been going through…of course he hadn't fallen asleep! And she should have seen that before now. "No, I wasn't. But I…Belle I just couldn't-" she didn't let him finish. Only crossed the three steps to where he was and threw her arms around his neck to kiss him again, which turned into two, which became three, and then-

"Beautiful Belle," he muttered urgently pulling her away and rubbing a thumb over her cheek. "You are the most stunning creature I have ever seen in my life. Lacey had every bit of your beauty but you'd be amazed at just how unattractive she was to me because it is your soul that shines brighter than any beauty you or any woman could possibly hold. I am sorry for those in your past, now even, that refuse to see it, but I'm honored beyond words that I get to see it."

That was what she wanted to hear, needed to hear eons ago when she'd wanted to talk to him about Lacey during the days he'd been in Neverland. To figure out what to do with what had happened to her, how to handle it. It had taken longer to have the discussion than she thought and it was shorter than she imagined she'd be, but she was happy it had finally happened. It was hard to tell what the feeling that had just come over her really was. Gratitude? Happiness? Love? Passion? Respect? All of it? He hadn't slept with Lacey, he'd done everything in his power to protect her, and hadn't given in to a terrible temptation. He was a man of many flaws, she knew that. But she was happy _that_ was a flaw she'd never have to worry about.

"I love you," she muttered as she stood on tiptoe to kiss him again. It was the only thing she could think to offer him, and it was a good thing that, beyond this point, they wouldn't need words.


	48. Facing Their Demons

It had happened more than once, she was sure, but she could only truly remember one time that she'd woken up before him in this bed. A bird had been chirping loudly in one of the trees outside their window and she'd been startled awake. But, predictable as ever, he'd woken only seconds after she had, heaved an irritated sigh when he saw the time and that she'd gotten up too, then wordlessly climbed out of bed to shut the window. When he'd returned, he'd immediately gathered her up again, too early for even him to be out of bed, and kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes again. "Go back to sleep, Sweetheart," he'd whispered gently before they'd both settled into sleep again.

But this was different, in nearly every way than it had been before. Then they'd both been startled awake, now she was perfectly rested and ready to get up. He clearly wasn't. He hadn't moved all night, neither of them had. Now, he was the one still huddled in her arms, his head resting on her chest as he clung to her. She could feel his chest rising and falling with the gentle rhythm of sleep, and though his arms were still wrapped around her there was no tension in them. He was beautiful. He was beautiful all the time but more so asleep. It was strange, she didn't think that he'd be able to sleep this heavily after everything that had happened, after he'd lost Neal, but he seemed at peace now. Or at least he was until she moved. She always woke to the brushstrokes of fingers on her back but he was such a light sleepier that his eyes had popped open the second she moved her hand through his hair.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered, hoping he'd go back to sleep again, aware that there was no threat and it was just the two of them in this little space.

But instead, he gave a sigh and tightened the grip he had on her as he glanced at the clock. "I don't like to sleep late," he dismissed, as if she'd done him a favor.

"There's no harm in taking a day or so off, in sleeping an extra hour or so," she reminded him. After all he'd been through no one would blame him for being late or not showing up at the shop at all today. She certainly saw nothing wrong with breaking his habit to get the rest that she knew he needed! So she tightened her arms around him so he couldn't move, hoping he'd take the hint and go back to sleep quickly.

"There are things that need done," he argued.

But there weren't! It wasn't as if he had any time to make appointments. It wasn't like it was when they'd gotten back from Neverland, there was no one that had assigned him any kind of task. They could stay here for weeks if they wanted too! Why on earth did he want to leave so quickly? Who would he need to see? What could he need to do that was life or…death. She sighed and swallowed back tears. Why hadn't she thought of this sooner?

"Do you want to go see him?" she asked gently. He didn't answer, didn't give any sign that he'd heard her other than the uneasy tightening in his shoulders. Maybe it wasn't what he'd been thinking he had to do…but now that she thought about it going to the cemetery was a trip that she figured he'd have to make eventually, and now there was no need to make it on his own, not anymore. "I'll go with you," she promised. "We can go see Neal together. I'll be by your side the entire time."

Suddenly he sighed and pulled himself out of her death grip, rolling away from her and settling into the spot that was originally his on the other side of the bed. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet, Belle," he whispered quietly staring at the ceiling. He was in pain, she could see that easily enough. He only ever pulled away from her like this when something made him so uncomfortable he didn't want to talk or think about it. She hadn't meant to do that, not so soon after she'd just gotten him back. She'd loved Neal, and she wanted to see him now that she remembered how much he'd meant to her, but she didn't want to go alone either. She'd let him pick the moment it was time to go, and be there no matter what until that time came.

But for now, she rolled over and clung tight to his side again, unwilling to let him put distance between them. "We'll go when you're ready," she amended and after a moment she felt his arms close around her as they put the suggestion behind them. She was happy to feel him hold her again. That made it easy to resist the urge to ask what there was to do today. She was afraid that if she asked he'd begin to name things, and if he began to name things then he'd want to get up sooner. She didn't want him to go, not now. He was tired, she could see that, and she wanted for him to just go back to sleep, for the pair of them to hold each other for a few more hours.

For a day. When he'd gotten back from Neverland they hadn't gotten a day and she'd lamented at that. He'd assured her they would get a day someday, maybe even more than that. Yet here they were a year later and they still hadn't gotten that day. How long would they wait? Would they ever get it? Would they ever actually have time to get married?! Would he ever get time to rest? To process what had happened with Neal, with himself? Was there a way to ever adjust to it? He'd seemed fine last night, but he had to be feeling more than "fine"! It had to hit at some point! After the joy of freedom wore off? After the glow of engagement faded? When he finally saw a grave? Maybe that was why he didn't want to go. Maybe it would make it too real for him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked suddenly, in his gentle tone, a sleepy tone.

What was she thinking about? Him. Always him. Always worrying. If it wasn't worrying about him and dark magic, or Cora, or that dagger…it was him and Neal. She couldn't imagine how he was ever going to get past the loss of his son, but she wasn't about to go into a deep conversation with him about it. Though talking was a great way to ease him she was fairly certain that dwelling on it wasn't going to make it better, not yet. Neal was something he had to choose to talk about with her, not the other way around. So what was she thinking about then? It had to be something brighter, something to distract him. She suspected that was why he'd asked in the first place! If his thoughts were too much then he was hoping hers wouldn't be…that hers would be safer, kinder. So what did he need her to be thinking about right now?

"Belle Gold," she muttered, the name she'd come up with days ago in this very room popping back into her mind. It was something pleasant. It was something better than death. It was new life.

"It won't be a name that will make you friends in this town," he muttered, drawing her closer. At least it was something pleasant for her. Only he could take such a positive idea and make it negative, even if they both knew he'd spoken the truth.

"It's not that," she responded, moving away from that unhappy topic. "I'm happy. I can finally have the other name I've always wanted…needed really. I'm happy it's yours."

"The honor is mine," he muttered happily, a sign that her plan had worked and she'd successfully distracted him, given him something good to think about.

"And mine," she mused. "I've never wanted a family name before Neverland, at least not one that I felt honor or attachment too. 'French' might be the last name the town considers mine but I've never used it! I've never felt attached to it. I never wanted a family name before Neverland because I never felt like I had a family, especially not after what my father tried to do to me here…and back home for that matter."

"No one decides your fate but you," he muttered running his hand through her hair. She smiled because she knew the words, knew they had been true and important to her. But they were different now. They were still important to her, still true, but there was an exception to them, just one that she had felt in an all too real way a year ago.

"And you," she corrected, propping herself up on her elbow to look at him because this was too important a topic for them to discuss without making eye contact. She didn't want to think about it, didn't want to remember it, but he deserved to know! How else would he ever understand it, really and truly understand it, if she didn't tell him?

"When you died..." she began her stomach twisting into knots and a lump rising in her throat at the memories. She let her fingers trial over the whole skin on his chest, the place the dagger had pierced his heart and taken him from her what felt like ages ago. There was nothing there, no mark to commemorate what had happened. But she still felt scarred all the same. "When you died I felt it," she finally admitted. "I felt that you weren't around anymore, I felt that you were gone! And it…it was…it was like…like someone tore my soul in two and took away the good half...the best half! And the pain! The pain of that...of having no hope or anything to believe in anymore! Of missing half yourself! I wouldn't have survived if Neal hadn't helped me, gave me hope that there was a way to see you again. It was all I had to hold on to, all I could use to cover up the hole in my chest for months! Even then it was barely enough."

She lay her head back down on his chest so that he wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. She didn't want to hurt him, didn't want him to feel guilty for what he'd done because she knew that he'd done it for the right reasons…but she wanted him to understand that he couldn't do it again. She finally understood why he was so protective of her, why he needed for her to be safe. But now she had to make him understand why he had to be safe, too...for her.

"We're bound together, connected," she reminded him. "That bond is only going to grow with time, it already has. You're fate is mine…I learned that the hard way."

"And yours is mine," he whispered back after a moment pulling her closer, gently squeezing. Four words and she knew that he understood exactly what she was saying. It was a relief. Maybe next time he'd think about it before he did something like that without telling her, without letting her help him. Better yet, it would never happen again.

"I should have known you weren't dead," he muttered suddenly, quietly.

The words were soft, barely audible but they vibrated through his chest, their tone sad and guilty enough to make her know she'd heard them. But what exactly had he just said to her?! She didn't understand! "What?" she asked, picking her head up to look at him once more.

"Oh, my Belle," he sighed, playing with the hair that fell between her shoulder blades as he looked up at her with sadness and guilt. "I learned all I could about True Love in our land, studied it's properties and qualities, explainable and unexplainable, it was how I knew I needed Emma to break the curse. True love...the only magic strong enough to transcend realms magical and non-magical," he explained. "I knew the moment my own curse broke exactly what ours was, that it couldn't be anything else. I once told you that I sent you away because I couldn't risk the connection growing deeper than it was, but the connection was already there.

"When Regina told me what happened to you, how your father had shut you away and you'd died, I knew it didn't feel right because I should have felt something. But I ignored it, convinced myself there was nothing there, that we simply hadn't bonded enough to feel it, and accepted the lie as truth. But I should have known it! I shouldn't have trusted Regina. I should have trusted my instinct, I should have trusted what I knew, what I felt or hadn't felt and come after you-"

"I don't blame you," she assured him, smoothing the wrinkles on his forehead. She hadn't thought of that. He'd only thought she'd been dead, but because she hadn't been he hadn't experienced the feel of it like she had…but she imagined the knowledge would have been just as devastating. And thinking she'd been dead because of something he'd done! Finding out what had happened to her afterwards and where she'd been?! That was punishment enough. It was a long time ago, in the past, over and done. And she was ready to move on...he clearly wasn't.

"I do," he muttered. It would take an eternity for her to get him to stop feeling that guilt. He'd been lied to, he'd been on a quest for his son. She understood why he hadn't come for her, and she knew that it would never happen again. She rested against him once more, trying to get some of her own peace to be absorbed through his skin, to ease him.

"It doesn't matter how we got here, just that we are, and so long as we never accept defeat or death again then we'll be perfectly fine." So long as he never went on another suicide mission, so long as they never sent each other away, so long as Regina never told him…that her father had shut her away?! She'd never heard that before. She'd never actually asked him what Regina had said that day, just assumed that she'd told him she'd died! What exactly was she missing?

"Rumple," she questioned, suddenly curious, "what exactly did Regina tell you happened to me?" It was the fact that he went suddenly still beneath her that told her he knew precisely what she was talking about. And when he gave a heavy sigh before he rolled them onto their sides so he could look at her the curiosity she'd felt gave way to nerves. How bad was it?!

Bad. Worse than she'd thought and yet it made everything make so much more sense.

Regina had told him she'd gone back home, to her father, that he'd rejected her because of the time she'd spent with him. Her father hadn't allowed her back home but had instead locked her away in a tower to be cleansed in some of the cruelest ways possible. Her father hadn't killed her, according to Regina, she'd killed herself. Unable to live under torture she'd jumped off the tower and fallen to her death.

But it got worse. When he'd gotten his memories back he'd remembered her, what Regina had said, how he felt, and he blamed her father. And the first time her father had truly encountered Rumpelstiltskin as the cursed florist, hadn't paid a debt he owed, he'd gotten "carried away". She listened to every detail, every damning sentence that came from his mouth, worse she listened to the innocent tone he used because in his mind her father was guilty in one way or another because of what he'd tried to do to her after she was freed.

After she was freed…_ "You don't understand what that man will do to you! What he's already done!" _She sighed as she recalled the words. She did understand, not then, but now she did. He'd taken her away, he'd threatened to kill him, held him at gunpoint, and beaten him. Her stomach turned at the thought of her father being on the other end of the cane like Hook had and at the same time having no memory at all of-

"You're angry…" he concluded after a moment of her stunned silence. "I can see it in your eyes."

"No, no I'm not angry," well, she was, just not in the way she expected! She was angry, just not at him...well, that wasn't completely true either. She was angry at him, but not as angry as she should have been. No, he shouldn't have done what he'd done, it was wrong, but she hadn't been around then. He'd been a different person, a beast without her. He was a changed now! And besides, after living without him for a year and watching what Zelena had done to him she knew what he'd been feeling, recognized the urge of violence that might make everything better. So, yes, while she was upset with him, she was angry at Regina.

For the endless pain that her lie had caused, for putting her father at his mercy like that, and for doing nothing about it! But...

Somewhere deep down, most of all, she was angry at herself!

It was true, her father hadn't listened to her before he'd tried to send her across the town line, but she hadn't listened to him either! If she had maybe she would have heard this story before and been able to stop the trouble before it started. And later, when they'd been in the Enchanted Forest and he'd sent that Ambassador to collect her-No, not "collect her" he'd wanted to speak with her, just like he had when she'd seen him at the town meeting. _"Please, please just let me explain!"_ She'd failed to listen…again.

"Belle," he muttered looking her over with curiosity that quickly faded into a worried sigh of understanding…and unhappy regret. "You're going to talk to him, aren't you?" Yes. Yes she was going to talk to him. He already knew that and she could see that he wanted to protect her from it, from getting hurt again. Physically and emotionally...but she had to do it.

Hadn't that been what she'd constantly wanted for Neal? To talk to his father, to understand what had happened, to give him a second chance! And after all that they'd talked about her father, all they'd said to one another...how had she not seen how horribly hypocritcal that was until this second?! Looking back it was so obvious that Neal had seen it in their talks, when they'd made their plans, the days they'd spent traveling together and she'd assured him that their work wasn't in vain and everyone would benfit from it one day. _"It works out for everyone except your father," _he'd muttered, laying the words at her feet like rocks big enough for her to nearly stumble over them! The quiet accusation was shocking but not enough to actually get her to do something but now...now she didn't want to live with the regret of knowing she hadn't given her father that second chance he wantedto explain...

Yes, she was going to see him again...but certainly not this very second. "Don't worry about that now," she whispered moving closer to him and wrapping her arms around him once more. Angry or not, she just couldn't remain upset with him, not after what he'd just told her and certainly not after all that had happened. She wasn't about to pick a fight with him now, she just wanted to put it behind them, face forward, and move on…when the time was right. So she buried her head against his chest and felt the beat of his heart, good and alive, and all hers for the rest of their lives. "Just go back to sleep," she begged, "rest with me for another hour or so before we have to go face our demons or witches or yaoguai's. Please?"

She felt his arms wrap around her in response. Their bodies melded together as they held one another where they lay. He went perfectly still and she felt comfortable enough to forget what he'd just confessed to her, to forget what she had to do, and let the early morning take her. "I love you, Belle," he whispered in her ear with a breath of amazement, the last confession he had before she drifted off into sleep again.


	49. What She Always Wanted to Say

It was an hour later that she awoke to the familiar brush of fingers across her back and his lips against her forehead. "Beautiful Belle," he whispered, "I love you but I can't let you sleep any longer. Sweetheart? Will you wake up for me?" They were still huddled together on their sides, still wrapped up in each others arms, but despite the perfection of the moment she managed to smile and nod against him in compliance because it was normal! Fingertips and beautiful words, it was how he always woke her in the mornings before this nightmare had started, though this was the first time he'd done it with the expectation she would rise with him. Before, when they lived together and when they'd been at the library, he'd always just asked her to roll over and release him so he could get up. Now, he needed her to be awake, to get up as well so she could leave with him, like they had after he'd returned from Neverland. She like it. Even if it was earlier than she would have gotten up on her own…at least it was later than he liked to rise. A fair compromise.

She squeezed him one last time, gave him a quick kiss, and did as he asked. They got out of bed, and moved around each other, showering, eating, and dressing. She was ecstatic to get to use her closet again and he seemed happy each time he looked up and saw her standing there. The only discord they'd had was when he'd wanted to leave and she'd picked up her bag. The dagger was still in the bottom of it, and she knew what it meant, what it symbolized but she didn't want to carry it with her forever! She had no magic surely he could protect it better than she could!

"I could leave it in the basement…" she suggested pulling it out and showing it to him.

He looked at it sadly for a moment then shook his head and held his arm out for her. "It's safe enough with you," he dismissed, then placed his hand at her back and led her out of the house. She had no doubt that the dagger was safe with her, so long as he was around. But, married or not, she couldn't spend the rest of her life glued to his side! She couldn't even spend this morning glued to his side. He had things to do, as he'd stated, and she'd figured she would stay with him as he did them…until their conversation this morning, until she knew what had happened between him and her father, until she'd realized she'd been too quiet, too unforgiving for long enough. Now she had things to do too, whether he liked it or not.

When they arrived in town that morning, she felt her heart squeeze. Someone was at the shop, standing outside the door. What now? She felt her hand curl around his elbow, she missed a step, and pressed her bag, and the dagger, closer to her body, under her arm.

"Mr. Gold," the man called as they approached the shop, "you're late...I mean...I mean maybe you're not late, maybe I'm early. It's been a while since I had the battery checked...it could be...maybe," at the mans strange remarks her gaze slid over to Rumple, glaring at the man standing at their front door. "Oh!" the man suddenly piqued, glancing over at her. "You must be Belle, it's nice to meet you...it's...yes, it's nice to meet you," he smiled, extending his hand only after giving Rumple a nevous glance. As if he was unsure about meeting her. What was going on?

"Hi," she smiled back, slowly reaching out for his hand. "Do you two uh, do you, do you know each other?"

Rumple gave a sigh next to her and tugged her forward as he pulled out the keys and stepped up to the door. "My apologies," he said to the man, unlocking the shop, "we slept late this morning and I prefer to talk about this in private." Talk about what in private? Who was this man and what on earth was he talking about. Was it business? The business he had to take care of? What he couldn't stay at home to do? Should she be here for it? The man was clearly terrified but she was confident he was in no danger! Would he want her here?

"Should I go?" she asked as he opened the door and motioned her inside.

"No!" the man stated desperately. "No, no that won't work at all, I'll need both of you."

"Both of us...Rumple, what is he talking about, what is going on?" she asked as he closed the door.

He walked around the man, ignoring his presence, as he stood before her and reached for her hands. "Let's consider it part of your surprise." Surprise? Wasn't that last night? The fire, the dinner, her necklace... what did a man have to do with surprising her?

"I don't...I don't understand-"

"Beautiful Belle," it was the first time he'd ever called her that in public, and when he picked up her hands to kiss her palms that was the first time that he'd ever really been openly affectionate in front of a complete stranger, it completely caught her off guard. "He's from the paper," he whispered, looking her over softely. The explanation made her smile and her stomach drop all at the same time. He didn't want to keep their relationship, their engagement a secret, to live a life with her in the shadows. If they were going to be married here, then they may as well make a proper announcement of it.

She threw her arms around him and fought off happy tears at the proclamation. He hadn't just told her he'd marry her with the intention of keeping the entire thing secret, between the two of them! He wanted the world to know, just as she did, in the most public way he knew how! Even though she'd never really cared for living a public life there was something about it that she liked, that make her smile.

And yet, all the while, as they were taking pictures and the reporter was asking questions that they couldn't answer yet because they'd barely been engaged twelve hours, her stomach just kept turning over and over. It was going to be in the paper. Everyone was going to know soon and for the most part she was fine with that but still there were some that she didn't want to find out that way...mostly just one person.

Which was why, when they were finished, when the reporter started packing up, and she could tie her hair back again she knew that she couldn't wait any longer. It had to be this morning. "Rumple," she muttered, grabbing her bag, "I have to go."

One look and she knew that he knew exactly where she intended to go, and he didn't like it. After what had happened the last time she'd seen her father he was understandably wary about letting her go to him, she could see it in his eyes, and she probably would have been too if she had arranged to meet him, but she hadn't. Last time he'd used that man, Smee, to carry out his plans. This time he wouldn't be able to plan. She'd catch him off guard and be the one prepared and Rumple knew it just as much as she did.

Rumple knew he couldn't fight her on it, that he wouldn't help the situation because he was still angry about what her father had tried to do after the curse broke, so instead he did what he did best and ignored it. He didn't question where she was going or what she was going to do, he merely let himself believe that she would go the library or Granny's, despite the fact that she walked the opposite direction after kissing him, telling him she'd be back later, and leaving him to deal with the reporter alone.

Her heart pounded the entire way there and it wasn't just because she was alone with the dagger again…though that was certainly part of it, but there were too many emotions for it to be that simple. She was nervous, she was questioning her judgment, she was naturally scared of what he might do to her if given the chance, but she was angry too. She understood now why he'd tried to send her across the lines, but just because she understood it didn't mean that she was happy about it, or that it was right. One way or another it had been a terrible betrayal and a poor way to handle things! He'd tried to control her yet again and if the cost of that was her memories then he'd been all too willing to pay that price when it hadn't been his to give.

She didn't know what she was going to say, what she was going to do when she got there, or what she was hoping would come from this visit but she knew she had to do it. Because sooner or later word that she'd agreed to marry Mr. Gold would spread, if the reporter had told the truth it would show up in the paper tomorrow morning, and even if he'd never treated her with respect, she respected him enough to tell him of her impending marriage herself.

_If Neal can do it so can I. If Neal can do it so can I. _Over and over again the chant played in her head and over and over again she wished he was here. I wouldn't have been a good choice to bring Rumple with her but Neal would have come without a second thought. He'd have been a constant presence over her shoulder, supportive, protective...he'd have been here if he could, but she knew that if he couldn't then he'd want her to be here and that thought drove every heavy step she took in her fathers direction. _If Neal can do it so can I. If Neal can do it so can I. If Neal can do it-_

Never before had her stomach turned at the smell of fresh flowers, never had her skin felt this sensitive to the air around her, her nerves made her tingle! She opened the door to the flower shop, Game of Thorns, and nearly sighed with relief when she saw that he wasn't there. She hadn't known just how much she was hoping she could put this off until she thought that she didn't have to. He wasn't there. She'd tried. So clearly there was no shame in turning around that very second, going back to the shop and-

"I told you on the phone I'd have your order in-" she froze as he came around the corner from the back room and saw her. Her heart raced, she couldn't feel her legs anymore, her entire body felt as though it had been doused in ice water. And she wasn't the only one that seemed to stand frozen. His loud growl ceased, his jaw dropped, the world seemed to slow down as he stood there and beheld her in the silence. Now what? What should she say now? She'd gotten here, in the same room, with him. She knew what needed to be done, what she wanted to say, but the words were suddenly so hard to find! How was it she had faced witches, and evil queens, and sociopathic men disguised as boys and in the end it was her father that could terrify her this much?! She hadn't been this nervous the first night she'd spent in Rumpelstiltskin's embrace!

"Belle," he muttered suddenly, making time lurch forward so fast it made her sick. "My girl-"

"No!" she yelled, holding a hand out to stop the steps he'd made to come toward her. She wasn't quite ready for that yet, she wasn't ready for it to be that simple! His words had been like a slap in the face, a reminder of the reality she'd lived before Rumpelstiltskin came along, and suddenly she knew exactly what she had to say! It was what she'd wanted to say for years and just never known it! "No, I'm, I'm not a girl! I'm not a child and I haven't been for a very long time. You have to understand that!"

"Belle, please, just let me explain, just listen-"

"No! You listen!" she shouted back, ignoring how childish the words ended up saying. She didn't care. He was silent finally, she had his attention, and she wasn't going to forfeit that, she'd take advantage of it. If there was any hope for this situation then she had to take advantage of it. It required Lacey's boldness, her words, and the strength that Rumple instilled in her every second he was with her. She could do this...even if she had tears in her eyes.

"I was nobody before the curse broke," she stated. "Nobody. Regina locked me away in an asylum for twenty-eight years without even giving me the courtesy of a name. Sending me over the town line wasn't as simple as taking away my past is was taking away everything and turning me back into that mindless frightened person again! You'd have known that if you asked!"

He heard her. She could see it in the look on his face. He looked astounded, shocked, but most of all guilty. He hadn't known what she'd been before, about what he would have done until this moment. And there was a reason for that. "Belle, I didn't understand-"

"Because you didn't listen," she explained, trying to keep her voice as controlled as possible. It wasn't easy, but yelling never helped anyone, she had to fight not to. "I loved you my entire life ever since I was small because I knew, I still know, that you love me too. But you never listened to me or what I wanted, even when I wasn't a child anymore. You're going to now because if there is any hope for us things can't be the way they were ever again, they won't be."

He stayed perfectly still, perfectly quiet at her insistance. Distance kept, silence kept, she took a deep breath and started at the beginning. Her beginning. Because it seemed the only rational thing to do.

"I didn't go with Rumpelstiltskin just to save the Kingdom," she admitted. "That was part of it but it wasn't all of it. I didn't want the life that you had planned out for me. It was a good life…but it wasn't mine, it was yours! It made you happy but the thought of living it made me miserable. And Gaston was kind but he was also shallow. We had nothing interesting to say to one another and the idea of spending my life following after him made me sick.

"But when Rumple showed up…the chains that he offered were nothing compared to the ones I felt I'd been wearing my entire life! So I went with him for me, not just for the Kingdom or you, but because I wanted it! I wanted more than what you'd planned for me! And he was harsh at first but he softened, there was more to him…more than anyone had ever tried to see. And yes, I fell in love with him just as he did with me. But he didn't let me stay because he had a child of his own, a son, that he loved so deeply he wouldn't let himself be happy until he had him.

"So he let me go, sent me away to do everything that I'd always wanted to do, but never had the chance to. It was freedom...and it wasn't enough. Nothing was enough without him and I was going to tell him that myself but before I could get back to him the Queen caught me and imprisoned me during the curse so she'd have leverage over him one day. Until then, she told him that I was dead, she told him that you were behind it, that's why he was so angry with you and that's why he did what he did that night. And I know it doesn't excuse his actions but you deserved a proper explanation for it. You deserve to understand that I loved him and that he loved me even when he thought I was dead. And when he saw that I was alive, that I wasn't dead that I wasn't gone…!"

She heard her voice trail off. There were no words for what he'd done, no words for what it was like to see that he was alive again. She could only imagine that had been what he'd felt as well.

"He asked me to marry him," she informed him, moving on to what she did have words for, what she could explain and had to explain. Still, her father showed no sign of reaction. He just kept staring at her as though he was taking it all in. If that was the case, she may as well let him take all of it in. She may as well be honest and let him peek behind the private doors and curtains that they lived behind. If that was what it would take to assure him that there was more to her fiancé, then so be it.

"I said yes," she finished, a happy smile brightening her fact because it really was the greatest thing she could think of at a time like this. "He asked me to marry him and I said yes. And not because I can't imagine my life without him but because nothing I could ever do in my life will ever be enough without him. Because I know he's not perfect but he's perfect for me. Because I love him. And because he loves me.

"He loves me so much, Papa!" she breathed, wondering if she could ever truly convey what she knew he felt into words. "It's the first thing I hear every morning when he wakes me up and the last thing before I go to sleep. He tells me when we're alone in a crowded room and when he needs to get up in the middle of the night just for a drink of water! He tells me when he's happy, when everything is perfect, and he tells me when the world is ending, when he has nothing left to lose.

"That is the kind of love that I choose. The kind of love that I want for the rest of my life. We've been separated too many times for too long. I just want us to be together and I'm asking you to be part of it. Because you're my father and I love you…I still love you. And I want you to be there, to stand with me, for all of us to forget our mistakes and actions.

"I can forgive you for what you did, because I was as guilty as you were. I never said anything. I never spoke up because I didn't have the courage to do it until he came into my life." She felt a weight she had never known she had be lifted off of her. It was larger than she thought it would have been. It hadn't just been resting on her shoulders, or pressing against her lungs, or sitting in the pit of her stomach, it had been everywhere and now that it was gone, now that she'd said what she'd wanted to say ever since before she'd left, her racing heart staggered to a steady beat, the lump in her throat dissipated, her legs had feeling in them again and felt stronger, and she felt as though she could stand taller than she ever had before. It felt good. It felt right. She'd said her peace, the rest was up to him. Where they went from here was in his hands.

"I can forgive you," she repeated. "I can forgive you but you need to understand that he's going to be in my life. I'm going to marry him and I'm going to be happy with him whether you can accept it or not. I'd be happier if you did, but if you can't, if you refuse, I'll understand and I'll go, and you won't have to ever see the two of us again."

He was still quiet, still staring at her with a stone face as if he expected her to start speaking again at any minute. Or maybe he just didn't know what to say about her accusations…or maybe he just didn't want her to be there anymore. Maybe he wasn't going to accept it, maybe he couldn't, and she was just going to have to leave.

She nodded in understanding and turned to go. At least she'd said it. Neal would be proud of her.

"Belle, don't!" she turned back to find he'd taken another step to come after her. "Don't...don't leave," he begged, "please my darling girl, I..." he closed his eyes at the words as if he knew he'd made a terrible mistake. "You're not a child anymore," he finally muttered. "You're right. I'm sorry I never saw that before now. I'm sorry that I couldn't see you were unhappy. And what happened after the curse broke…I just wanted you back. I just wanted to know you were safe. I didn't understand and I didn't trust that monster after what he'd done to me, but then…"

His voice trailed off and she realized that she'd been hanging on his every word because suddenly his apology sounded a lot more hopeful than she'd expected it to be. "Then what?" she prompted stepping away from the door, prepared to hear him out.

"When we got home, a few months later I learned what had happened, what he did, before we all went home, and I didn't believe it at first, because I didn't want to, they were only rumors."

"You sent that man after me-"

"Because I had to be sure you were safe! When I finally heard the rumors that the Dark One had perished were true I wanted to be sure you were safe, to talk to you, to ask you what happened, but you didn't come back with him. He said the man you were living with turned him away."

"Neal," she stated quickly, because the thought of him being nameless was something she simply couldn't bear. The man had come, Neal had protected her uselessly, sent him on his way when she made it clear she didn't want to go with him and wouldn't go with him.

"Then when we returned to Storybrooke, when I had no memory of what had happened I went to Granny's and she told me what he did, what he said to you. With everything that happened since we got back, the rumors I heard, I was worried that he'd lied, that he'd come after you, that you might be in danger-"

"He could never hurt me!"

"-and I can see that!" The shout she'd had trapped in her chest died there at his words. He believed her, he understood? That was what he would have told her if she'd talked to him at the meeting. That he believed her, that he knew that Rumpelstiltskin loved her! "I can see that he cares for you," he went on, "…that he's changed for you. If there ever was a woman that could change a creature like that into a man again it would be you, my girl." She nearly broke out into tears as he took a few more steps closer to her and she saw tears in his eyes. She'd never seen him cry before! Not once, not even when her grandmother had died!

"What I want more than anything in the world is your happiness. Despite the past it's what I've always wanted, what I always tried to give you. I misunderstood that what I thought was best for you wasn't always what was best in the end...wouldn't always make you happy. So if you say he's the one that will give you the best life you can have, one that makes you happy…then I believe you. If he is the life you want then I want for you to have it."

This time it was her that stared for an extended period of time because the words were so perfect, so unbelievable that she really hadn't thought that they were possible. She didn't know that she'd expected to walk out of his store broken-hearted until she realized that she wouldn't be. He understood, he saw the change in Rumpelstiltskin just as she did, and she couldn't be happier.

When words failed her, she reached out and hugged her father.


	50. Hypersensitivity

It was strange. She loved her father, always had growing up. After her grandmother died, he'd become her sun, moon, and stars. She loved his hugs, the way his smiles brightened her day as he called her "my girl", and treasured all of the memories she had of sitting in his lap, falling asleep to him reading her stories, the way he'd doted on her. By all accounts he was a devoted father compared to some of the royals she'd met. She had always loved her father, but she couldn't ever remember doing anything like this with him before: talking. And maybe that was what had led to the events in the mine.

They spent time together that morning in a way they never had before. He closed the flower store that morning and escorted her out with a gentle hand on her back and much to her surprise, the conversation continued. As he told her about his life here in Storybrooke, they walked around town, out to the bay and along the coast, to a place that her father said that he'd taken to coming lately. It was gorgeous, a beautiful property out on a little peninsula. The peninsula had always been there, but she knew that the house, mansion really hadn't been. She hesitated at first, wondering what was going on, why her father had brought her to this place, and what would happen if the people who lived here caught them. He only told her that the house was vacant, he'd never seen anyone here, not since he'd found it when they first arrived back. He was hiking more, trying to be healthy, loose weight, and all the good hiking trails seemed to cross through the woods around the house, not easy considering where it was situated, but nevertheless he was right.

They explored together, talking as they went, looking around the unlocked but not empty house, taking in the remarkable view, and yes, even managing to "hike" in a few of the trails around the house despite her shoes. In the end when they paused on the porch she decided that chances were her Rumple owned it. She had yet to see anything in this town that he didn't own in some way or another. The house was beautiful and had everything...almost. It didn't have food and as they made their way through the woods, as he spoke about how he liked being a florist, actually prefered it to being King of a country, her stomach let out a loud growl. With a laugh and a happy hug he promised to take care of that and they left the house behind them walking back along shore to town.

They had lunch from a small place that she'd never been to before and finally began to talk about what she knew he was aching to hear, to understand. So she talked about what had happened to her when she went with Rumpelstiltskin. At first she'd cringed telling him about it, wondering what he'd think of the man she confessed her intentions to marry, but he listened. He asked questions when he wanted to, bland and appropriate questions, but mostly he just let her talk. When they were done with their meal they still weren't finished the conversation and they found themselves wandering down to the docks as she talked about her life in Storybrooke. What she did, or was going to do, with the library, and how she'd gotten it. She told him about Neal, about Zelena, the new friends she'd made, the group of people that had become like family good and bad to her, she even spoke of his death as they walked over the wooden planks.

She knew, it probably wasn't the smartest place to go with the man who had once threatened to remove her memories and she knew that if he ever found out she'd gone to a place like that with him he wouldn't be happy. But then again hiking up to an abandoned house with him in the morning probably hadn't been a good idea either. At least this time there were plenty of people as they walked around the dock…and that was part of the problem.

They talked, she tried to listen, to stay focused, but with each person she saw she pushed the opening of her bag closer under her arm. How easy would it have been for one of them to reach inside, in an attempt to pick her pockets, and find more than a wallet?! "When do you plan on opening the library?" he asked her as they stopped to lean over the railing. She felt her back stiffen. Leaning would be a position that put the dagger at risk. So she turned her back on it instead and watched the people pass them by, casting her odd glances.

"As soon as I can get everything together?" she answered in an off-hand way as someone walked by and nodded at her. She politely nodded back, but tightened her grip on her purse. Was that the normal nod that she got? One of recognition for what she'd done when the witch was in power or because everyone knew who she was in love with? Or did they know what was in her bag? Could they feel it? The black power that felt like magic oozing out of the opening and seams? She felt like she could.

"And when will you get married?" he asked, looking her over suspiciously. He didn't know did he? What she had in her bag? No, of course not, she was being silly. She needed to focus.

"Um," she sighed swallowing hard and trying to think of what he'd just asked. They hadn't exactly talked about details yet! Despite the fact that they'd had their picture taken and were ready to announce their engagement they'd talked about nothing beyond the fact that they wanted to get married. She hadn't even thought about when it would be or what it would look like. Small, she imagined. Knowing him, and how private he was, probably miniscule. Strangely enough she was perfectly fine with a small affair. She hadn't like the idea of all the pomp and circumstance that came with a large wedding. All she wanted, all she needed was him there…and maybe one other. "We haven't really talked about it yet," she informed her father, "but I want you to be there? Will you?" she asked, realizing that she was one thing and Rumple another. He might not be ready to face him yet, even if-

Her father nodded beside her, "If it makes you happy." It did. Better yet, it would make him happy in some way. What better way to show him that her father believed he was as changed as she did, than for him to happily accept her going with him for the rest of her life.

They turned then, slowly walked back, to the dock, to the flower store, who knew where they'd go! She liked this, talking to him as if they were both adults. She asked him about the Ogre War, about what happened after she left, what happened during the missing year, and was shocked to hear that he much prefered being a simply florist rather than a King. A King. Her stomach stiffened. "What happened to Gaston?" she asked finally, as they made their way back to the flower shop. She wanted to be curious, to be involved on a deeper level but suddenly it wasn't just the people in front of her that scared her, but the ones that would walk up fast behind her, simply to move around her. But she felt herself jump each time one of them caught her eye, and turned to check behind her each time she thought she heard footsteps. "I haven't seen him here?" she added trying not to look behind her at what she hoped was simply the wind again. They couldn't get inside fast enough. She couldn't get the dagger out of her bag to safety fast enough!

"Gaston is missing."

The words were enough to stop her dead in her tracks and reach out and grab her fathers arm. "Missing?" she questioned her stomach turning. She'd never liked him as her fiancé but she had known him her entire life, loved him as if he'd been a shallow older brother...though now that she'd had Neal she knew that wasn't entirely truthful either. But she did care for him in some strange way and the news was...unexpected. How had he gone missing? He couldn't still be missing after the curse had broken?!

"When you didn't return after the winter," her father informed her, "he went after you, to bring you home."

"Alone?!" her father nodded and she had to fight not to roll her eyes. He really thought he could face Rumpelstiltskin on his own?! He wasn't even that great with a sword what did he think he'd do against dark magic?!

"He never returned," he went on. "We sent scouts out to search for him but only found his horse running lose in the nearby woods. We assumed he hadn't made if far before he was met with some miserable fate…especially if he was unlucky enough to meet the Dark One."

She felt ice rush into her veins. No. She couldn't remember Gaston ever being at the castle. She didn't know every single person that had come and gone in her time, but she was certain she would have known if he'd been there. He had little to offer besides blustering grandeur, if he'd ever made it past the threshold of their home he'd have yelled for her, or called or…something! She would have known…wouldn't she? "Wait," she thought, "when, when exactly did he leave?"

"Just after Spring." Oh. That was it.

"I left in early Spring…he must have just missed me, that's of course if he ever made it at all!" She and Neal had looked at maps several times over in order to get from Snow's kingdom to Rumple's castle in the North. She knew the distance between the two places and the dangers that would have awaited the pampered sheltered boy and she could think of a million ways Gaston could wind up dead just from being half-witted when it came to the woods. He'd been raised in a castle, what was he thinking leaving on his own?! The horse had been found in the woods close by? Chances were he hadn't gotten far before something happened to him, though on the off chance something happened as he was close to returning she made a mental note to ask Rumple if he'd turned up and he'd sent him away disappointed after her departure.

She was confident that would have been all he'd done if the boy showed up later. Now he hated the boy but she knew before he heard the tales she'd told him in the privacy of their bedroom he'd thought him nothing more than a spoiled oaf! He'd have teased him, enjoyed teasing him, but in the end it would have been nothing more than a brief moment of entertainment that would have passed quickly, and he'd have sent him away. Of course she wouldn't mind being sure of that, asking him herself…but later. After some time had passed since Zelena. Wherever Gaston was now, asking now or later whether he'd seen him, wasn't going to make much difference in regard to his fate. She'd talk to him about it in time...

After she got over the fact that she was carrying around the most dangerous weapon on the face of the earth in her purse! It distracted her from everything! This was just her father, just a man she'd known her entire life, but when he reached out to touch the shoulder her bag was slung across, she'd jumped. Her father at looked at her, guilty. Safely inside the shop, she'd explained that it wasn't him, she wasn't afraid, she was just jumpy after everything that had happened with Zelena. She trusted him. She just didn't trust the world, or herself, with what lay in her bag. It wasn't safe.

She could have gone back to the library after their visit, but she couldn't stand it anymore, she went back to the shop and didn't even register the "closed" sign. The shop was as good as home to her and just stepping inside, knowing he was there somewhere, made her feel better…but not perfect. Enough was enough.

He wasn't in the front of the shop so she locked the door and moved into the back. "Look, this" she began to explain, pulling the cursed knife out of her bag and marching over to him, "this is too much power to keep with me!"

"No, I, I don't want it, Belle," her heart fell as he held his hands away from it, as if he didn't even want to touch the thing! That was the problem, she didn't either. "The point was I trust you!"

"I know," she insisted. She did, she knew what it meant and it was touching, but one morning with the thing in her purse told her there had to be a better way to do this other than keeping it with her all the time! She knew they'd never been a normal couple by any stretch of the imagination, but couldn't they at least pretend they were, hide the dagger, and she could have a nice ring instead?! "Well, then is, is there somewhere I can store it safely?" she asked, a doorless archway, a room that she hadn't thought about in years popped back into the forefront of her mind as if by magic! She could understand why, a place like that was perfect for a thing like this.

"Like back in our land, at your castle, you had that vault," she suggested desperately, "the, the one with no doors." She'd only stumbled upon the walled off archway once and that was what he told her, it was a vault with no doors "for a reason". What better to keep there than something like this?!

"That vault," he corrected, "was for only the most dangerous and unstable magic. That which even I couldn't comprehend."

"And this doesn't qualify?" she asked holding it away from her and glancing down awkwardly at the thing. It sounded like the perfect place to her! But for some unknown reason, the look on his face told her that he obviously disagreed.

"No," he breathed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. How was the Dark Ones dagger safer in her bag than in a vault with no doors?! "You see, uh," he answered as if understanding her question and finally removing the burden from her hands, "I understand this all too well." He'd taken it from her and she was hoping he'd hide it for her and she wouldn't see it again for some time, but unfortunately only took it back and returned it to her bag. She tried to object, she opened her mouth to argue but he kept rambling on, not giving her the chance to say anything. Knowing him, it was on purpose. "I left that vault and all its dangers behind, but this dagger is not dangerous because as I said…I trust you."

She watched regretfully as he settled it and left it there, the problem still unresolved. But his words were poison, the touch of his hands on her arms worse, and the smile he was wearing, the one of complete trust and reassurance the worst of all. The problem still existed, but just as she knew that she could calm him when he needed it most he had the ability to calm her and take her mind off of what had brought her here in the first place. He was safety, there would be nothing to worry about as long as they were together.

"Let's discuss something a bit more pleasant," he suggested, taking her hands and making her feel warm again. "Like, uh…our wedding!"

"Yes," she beamed. That was pleasant. And something that needed to be discussed as she knew the moment word got out she'd have to answer questions about it. Questions like the one's her father had asked. "Oh!" she remembered, her thoughts leaving the dagger as she gazed at him. What she had to say to him now wasn't a question, it was news. "I told my father the good news, and…he gave us his blessing!"

It was great news, but he only looked at her skeptically. "The man who kidnapped you in order to keep us apart…" he reminded her. Yes, she could understand his skepticism, but he hadn't been there, hadn't talked to him when she cleared things up. He didn't know what he'd said.

"Well, I've forgiven him," she argued. "And he's forgiven you! He knows you're a changed man. Everyone does, especially me," she sighed. She always knew who he was, but sometimes she'd wondered if he'd ever get to the place that he would allow himself to become that man. The fact that the dagger was sitting in her bag, whether she liked it or not, was proof enough of that. And the way he looked at her now, with trusting eyes and a smirk that meant he was happy, he knew it too. And when words failed him, as they sometimes did when she was in the room, the grip he had on her hands tightened and he leaned forward to kiss her.


	51. Before Trouble Again

She liked the way he smiled after they kissed. She always had liked his smile but sometimes, like just after he pulled away from her and a grin spread across his face, he looked at her not like she was the most precious thing in the world, as he always did, but rather like for as long as she was close by the world was safe, and good, and perfect. It always made her blush. And the way he reached forward for one or two more, as if he just couldn't stop, that was what made her beam.

"I thought you wanted to talk about the wedding?" she had to ask after a few moments.

He nodded. "I do," he whispered. "I'm a man of details." Details, loopholes, deals…mystery. She knew that, it was why she loved him. But they'd never talk about those details if they kept standing close together like this. Deprived as they'd been, they'd end up doing something with their mouths that didn't involve words. That was for later, tonight, when they were alone again. Now they needed to talk about what she knew people would be asking soon.

"So," she asked, pulling away from him and taking a seat on the cot, "when exactly did you want to do this? Get married."

"Soon," he answered as he watched her, almost amused that she'd taken great lengths to move away from him.

"Soon? How soon?"

He sighed and took the seat next to her, shortening the distance once again. It was foolish really to believe that they would have stayed apart too long. "Before trouble," he answered leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes as if he was still tired and just wanted to go back to sleep.

Before trouble? She should have taken it as a joke that simply wasn't funny anymore. But he didn't sound as though he was joking, or even making fun of their previous situations. The words sounded ominous and foreboding, as if he wasn't just preparing for what would happen, but expecting it any day now. Was that what this last year had done to them? Turned him into someone afraid of the trouble he once willingly helped create? Someone who no longer welcomed trouble, discord, but dreaded it for what it would do to the two of them? Someone who automatically expected to be separated from her in one way or another? To him trouble wasn't a question of "if" any more, it was a question of "when".

There were no words that she could offer to ease that suspicion. She couldn't promise that it would never happen because she knew it would. But for now they could be together, for now she could scoot closer to him, thread her fingers through his own, and silently rest her head against his shoulder. She knew it would happen again, it was too much to expect that from this point on they would live out the rest of eternity in a blissful marriage with nothing ever standing in their way or threatening them. But she'd changed too. She didn't feel like the pessimistic person that had drowned in sorrow when he'd left for Neverland or the half soul that she'd felt after he'd died. He might still have some of that pessimism and the expectation that they'd be apart, but she was optimistic and now she had the expectation that no matter what happened they'd always come back to each other.

Better yet, they always helped each other, influenced one another. She hadn't seen it that way before now, she'd wanted nothing more than the opportunity to work side by side. But now she saw that they always had, no matter what happened. So she hadn't been in Neverland! She'd gotten him the box hadn't she? No one else could have done that because no one else would have figured out how to get to it. And this week he might not have been here to help her, but he'd left her precious gifts that she wouldn't have been able to survive without. His bag of tricks, the books he'd left her, the notes that had been placed in the margins of…

The books!

She popped her head off of his shoulder at once and glanced onto the tables she'd been using over the last week. They were empty! The books she'd used, the ones she knew he didn't want taken out of the basement because of what they contained! They were missing! Her mouth went dry. How had that happened?! They'd been here! She knew they had, she'd been keeping them here because she was here constantly! When was the last time she'd seen them, known they were safe?! Yesterday…before she'd left to-

"Belle?" he was watching her again, his eyes open and worried by her sudden motion and the look on her face. She had to tell him, she didn't know how they'd gone missing or who had taken them, but if anyone could find them he could!

"Your books," she stated breathlessly, still looking around the room as if she expected them to just appear stacked somewhere. They weren't. "The books we keep in the basement, they were here yesterday, but now they're-"

"Safely back in the basement where they belong," he finished for her in a reassuring tone. Safe. In the basement. Where they belonged. She felt relief flood her body as the panic passed and she automatically melted back against him, trying to pretend as though she hadn't just ruined the perfectly peaceful moment they'd been having. Of course they were back in the basement. He'd gotten here before her yesterday and stayed after she'd left. Surely he'd taken them back with him when he found them. She shouldn't have panicked. "Though I am curious," he muttered against her seconds later, "how they ended up here…and why the shop seems to have been cleaned and reorganized in my absence."

She smiled because though the first question was one of genuine curiosity the second was more of an accusation, one she could feel him smiling through. They had so much to catch up on, though she felt like he already knew exactly what had happened.

"I had to figure out what was happening, you left me no choice when you told me what she was after from you," she explained. "And they wouldn't let me go home because they didn't want me to be alone with Zelena on the loose so I had to bring you to me in the only way I knew how. I brought the books here. Last night was the first time I'd been home in a week! Showers at the apartment. Meals at Granny's. Everything else I've done has been here: sleeping, researching, and reading. Some days I needed to keep my hands busy, and you weren't here so I cleaned and I figured the books-" but before she could finish his hand was against her cheek and he had pulled her lips to his own again in another kiss that made her blush and him smile.

"They were safe here with you," he muttered against her after a moment. "I trust you." And before she could say anything he'd leaned forward to kiss her again. Then again and again before his hand-

She jumped and pulled away from him as her cell phone chirped in the bag behind her. He gave an irritated sigh and tightened the grip that he had on her waist. "If that's someone calling to say there's a problem, ignore it."

She sighed and shook her head. "I wish I could," she answered honestly. Frankly until he'd mentioned that it could be a problem she was going to ignore it, but now that the thought was in her head, she had to pull out the phone and find out who wanted what of her. She smiled as she looked the brief message from Ruby over. "It's not trouble!" she informed him. "Mary Margaret was released from the hospital this morning. They're having a coronation ceremony at the diner, to tell us the baby's name," she smiled at the last small phrase Ruby had written. The invitation wasn't directly for her, it was for him. "David asked for you to be there."

He looked surprised at first, looking her over as if she'd lied and was simply trying to get him to go to one of the parties they'd mentioned last night that held absolutely no appeal to either of them. But when she showed him the message herself, proved that she wasn't lying, she saw his interest peak. He tried to hide it, to pretend like it was nothing, but she could see otherwise…he wanted nothing more than to know why he'd been asked to be there.

"I suppose we could go for an early dinner," he suggested as if it was more hassle than anything. She had to fight not to roll her eyes at the proud man. He wasn't an imp, as so many in this land believed him to be, he was a hermit! And though he wanted desperately to go, he wouldn't dare show it.

"I want to go," she insisted after a moment, sparing him. He nodded and she kissed him once more before they got off the cot and collected their things. Or at least the things that he thought they needed. When she cast a wary look at her bag he told her that she could leave it behind if it made her uncomfortable. "Out in the open like-"

"Belle," he sighed, sounding almost irritated that she kept bringing it up. She knew that she kept talking about it but she couldn't help it. After what had just happened?! How was he not more concerned about this than she was?! Was she really just worrying too much or being foolish? "Belle, the shop, much like the house and your library, is protected," he assured her after a moment, correcting his tone into something more assured. He grabbed the bag opened a nearby cabinet and haphazardly tossed it inside, out of obvious sight of anyone that might walk in, before turning back to her. "It'll be fine," he promised, before distracting her with another kiss.

She believed him, she just wished she felt better about locking it up in the shop as they walked to Granny's arm in arm. It wasn't far but she felt like she could feel every step pulling her farther and farther away from it, like a piece of her mind had stayed behind in that shop with the dagger…or maybe it really was just her peace of mind. Would it ever belong to her again so long as the dagger did? Would she ever convince him to help her hide it somewhere safer than her bag? Somewhere-

Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks.

The sharp motion twisted her arm uncomfortably as he broke her step, but before she could turn back or exclaim "ouch" she realized that he hadn't just gotten distracted, something was wrong. It was the look on his face, like someone had just hit him and he was trying to figure out who it was. His eyes roamed around the street. Left. Right. He glanced into Granny's diner, even twisted around as if he really did expect to see someone there behind him!

"Rumple?" she questioned as he disengaged from her. "What's wrong?"

"Magic," he hissed. Magic? There was magic in the air and he could feel it? Her heart was racing as she glanced around with him. She couldn't feel it like he could, but she knew that since he'd brought magic to Storybrooke, it was everywhere. It must have been strong magic, something deadly to stop him as it did. It must have been…up?!

"There!" she pointed into the sky. She didn't need to feel it, she could see it. But it wasn't around them, it was a bright orange beam, like fire, and it was shooting up into the sky just as the protection spell she'd once cast had! But it didn't fall around them like that had, it just kept reaching into the sky and disappearing behind the clouds. "What is that?!"

"Trouble," he answered. Movement caught her eyes and she saw Emma suddenly walk out of the diner her stride determined. It wasn't long before Hook followed with a book in hand, looking to be going after her or with her, just as determined. Her heart fell. So much for getting married before trouble. "Let's keep walking," he insisted, pressing against her back, urging her forward desperately. He stared at it over his shoulder with wide eyes as he led her up the walk way of Granny's diner.

"But I don't understand," she insisted, glancing at it on the stairs. "What is it?"

She wasn't the only one to wonder. The diner was quiet when he opened the door, everyone had their head turned to look out the window at exactly what they had just seen. "What is that?" she heard Henry echo as they walked inside.

"That," Rumple answered, as David stepped around them and looked closer out the window, looking just as mesmerized as the rest of them, "is a problem. That light is from Zelena's time portal…it's open." Open? It was open?! She felt her jaw drop at the pronouncement. Zelena was in jail, she was powerless, the baby was safe in Mary Margaret's arms right now! But the portal was open?!

"How is that possible?" she asked, glancing up at him.

He looked out the window for a moment before glancing back at her with a look of genuine confusion on his face. "I've no idea," he breathed amazed. No idea! He had no idea! But he always knew how these things worked! A time portal had never in the history of magic been successfully opened and yet he knew that was it?! He had to know how! After all this time had been spent trying to figure out how to go back in time, how to get the spell just right, it wasn't possible that it had just opened on it's own like that!

"Well," David suddenly sighed, moving around them and grabbing his jacket. "I know exactly who I'm going to ask about it. You left Zelena in the jail?" he asked looking at Regina.

She nodded, "yes, but-"

David didn't stay to hear the rest, in the blink of an eye he was out the door.


	52. Another Kind of Innocent

"David!" Mary Margaret called as he bound out the door.

"I've got him," Regina growled. "Henry stay here," then walked out the door with Robin Hood following after her quickly. They were going to the jail, to see Zelena, because the only one who would be able to explain why the portal had opened so suddenly, was the witch…and possibly the two of them.

"We should go too," she stated going after the three of them, only to find her hand caught in his own. When she glanced back at him questioningly he only looked nervously around the small diner at the people that were staring out the window…and at them. "We can talk outside," she settled pulling him out the door with her and wrapping her hand around his elbow. It was perfect, they were talking as he wanted to, but also following after the other three, keeping them in their sight. "We should go," she insisted again, urging him onward. He only pulled back.

"Let them handle it," he seemed to beg. She could understand that. It was painful, hard to go and see Zelena, especially since it had only been yesterday that she'd had power over him. When it was her, when she'd been finally set free, Regina was the last person on earth that she wanted to see. And if he hadn't been there with her when she'd seen her the first time she would have dissolved into tears. She knew what it was asking him to go and see her now, but it might be good for him. Seeing his captor behind bars might bring him some feeling of closure and justice. Besides, there were other reasons that she wanted them to go.

"Rumple," she insisted dragging him forward. She'd love to stop and discuss it slowly, but the others had already piled into a car and were on their way. "Between all the research I did and everything you know about Zelena's plan, they might need us to put this together, to figure out why this happened…" It was his choice. It had to be. If he didn't want to go she wouldn't make him. But that couldn't stop her from going with them. "You don't have to go, I won't make you, but I am going to help them. Please, come with me. No one knows more about this than you! I'll be with you the entire time, I promise I won't leave your side!"

He sighed when they arrived at the car and looked around for a moment as if searching for something to say, an argument to make that would allow him to stay behind, but in the end he silently unlocked the car and drove the two of them the short distance to the jail where she eagerly got out of the car and followed after the others. He took his time, for a second she almost thought to herself to slow down because he had his cane, but that was a year ago! He was just being slow, shuffling his feet, as if he really didn't want to be here. Fortunately, the walk was so short that even going slow she could keep an eye on him behind her and one on the others in front, even when David picked up the pace to run the last few steps.

"Zelena," she heard him state, "she's gone!" Her blood turned to ice. Gone?! Gone! How was that possible they'd sealed her in with blood magic!

"No!" Regina argued. "She was here when I left her!" She rounded the corner and gazed into the cell she'd set the entrapment spell around. It was empty. She didn't know how that had happened, if she'd failed or Regina's blood simply wasn't as strong enough as the fairies had suspected, but her absence explained one thing.

"Well, if, if she escaped that would explain the time portal," she realized, and it would also tell them where to find her.

"Impossible," Regina refuted, "without her pendent she's powerless! How could she have escaped, let alone open a time portal without magic!" All good arguments, good points that she couldn't disprove or offer any kind of solution for. But she might not need to. Regina's face was changing, from confusion to revelation, as if she'd just solved everything. "Unless you did something to her!" she stated, staring at…her! Her! She did something to her?! No. Not her, she was staring just over her shoulder.

Rumpelstiltskin.

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint but no," he argued quickly, in his cocky over confident tone. But she didn't need to look around them to feel every eye still trained on him. No, he didn't do this, he wouldn't do this! Not after she'd asked not after he'd promised…nothing. Her heart fell. No…she hadn't fallen for it again! Hadn't let him distract her again so he didn't have to say the words! He wouldn't. Would he? "Well, even if I wanted to Belle has my dagger," he went on, "she would certainly curb any homicidal tendencies."

She had to fight not to shiver at that statement. She hated that dagger, hated having it in her possession, hated that they'd left it behind in his shop at a time like this, and most of all hated that her possession of it could influence him to do things instead of his demeanor changing because of him. But, as he'd now just informed everyone in the room, he was right.

"It's true," she admitted, suddenly feeling like she wanted nothing more than to go back to the shop and find a better hiding place like she should have insisted only an hour ago before all this had happened, somewhere Zelena would never find it! She should have refused to settle for "it'll be fine".

"Well, if she escaped," David muttered looking at a television screen she hadn't noticed yesterday, "let's find out how." She gave him a reassuring glance as she realized what David was fiddling with. Security cameras.

"Wonderful," she heard Rumple mutter as they gathered around the small television. Of course, any police station would have them, would need them. Now they'd see, now they'd all see that it hadn't been him, he hadn't given into temptation. And really when could he have? Last night? She'd been away from him for maybe a half hour and now she knew, in that half hour, he'd taken the books back to the basement, made them dinner, and showered. There simply wasn't time! Was there?

She glanced back again. He was the only one not gathered there with them, that still stood in that same place he'd always been, hunched over the desk. Confidence? Or…. No. No, he'd changed, she couldn't let herself doubt it! He gave her a small encouraging smile and a nod that should have made her stomach ease, but didn't. He didn't need to. She'd know soon enough. And it killed her to know that after everything they'd been through her mind still wanted to know for sure, still needed solid proof that he hadn't used their engagement as-

Zelena was on the television screen when she looked back, pacing, looking like a tiger in a cage, and then black and white screen zig zagged and spiked with static.

"What was that?" Regina asked, "What just happened?" Zelena? Or…

"Yeah, we could use an upgrade," David commented, messing with it and muttering something frustrating under his breath that she couldn't make out. "Oh, here we go!" he stated as suddenly the picture cleared again. Zelena wasn't pacing this time around, but she was there, clearly alive and clearly still imprisoned. But…no, she wasn't. They watched in shock and even horror as she raised her hand into the air as she'd seen him do a million times with his own magic, draw it down over herself and…she turned into stone? Glass? It didn't matter. Because as soon as she'd become…a statue, she supposed, she watched as she cracked and crumbled, fading into a pile of dust and ash that rose into a cloud of smoke and…vanished! The smoke vanished! Did that mean she was dead, or had she simply escaped as a cloud of dust! She couldn't tell the screen wasn't clear!

"Well it seems her great escape was of a more permanent nature," he pointed out behind her. Death then, suicide, to be exact. "I won't ask for an apology," he stated angrily and she felt a stab of guilt because he was right. He deserved an apology, but not just from them, from her as well. For doubting him. He wouldn't do something like that again, not after everything that had happened between the two of them. And as much as she hated to admit it, he was right and so was Regina yesterday when she'd given her the dagger. He couldn't have harmed Zelena. She shouldn't have needed to see the proof to believe him.

"She must have had just enough residual magic to do herself in," Regina conceited, returning her attention to the matter at hand. It seemed to be the only explanation. She didn't have enough to escape her bonds, didn't have enough to put her plans into action…death would have seemed like her only way out. "And when she did…when she was gone the magic in her pendant had no tether, it was set free!" Regina explained, suddenly realizing why the portal had managed to open itself up. "Her last wish fulfilled."

The last ingredient fulfilled. The words she'd used only yesterday after Regina had given her the dagger came flooding back into her mind. _I'm, I'm defenseless now! No magic! I'm innocent! _Whether or not she was actually "innocent" was debatable, but obviously the portal had seen her as innocent enough. How ironic, nine months waiting for Mary Margaret's child to use the innocence and magic it would possess and in the end everything she needed had been inside her all along. She'd been resilient enough, determined enough to figure out the spell. She'd been smart enough to learn the past and arrange the magical elements to create the spell. And though she didn't particularly agree with what her courage had brought, standing up to the world in order to fulfill this spell was a certain kind of bravery. It was a coward's bravery, the kind of bravery needed to run away, but in the end it was still bravery. She was all she'd needed, it really was a terrible irony!

"How do we unfullfill it?" Robin Hood asked the group, addressing the new problem. Zelena was dealt with, the portal was all that remained to worry about. Now what?

"Excellent question," Rumple commented, "but until we figure it out, no one should go near it. A trip to the past could have catastrophic repercussions." David shook his head and reached into his pocket.

"And Emma and Hook wandered off alone," he muttered. "I'll call her and Mary Margaret see if anyone has seen them. Maybe we can set up a barrier around it of some kind."

"What part of 'no one should go near it' was unclear?" Rumple stated angrily. "Portals, like the kind that took us to Neverland are designed to draw people in. This particular portal has never been achieved, documented, or studied before, the strength of its pull is unknown. Warn the town and warn your daughter, but until then no one goes near it!"

"And how do you propose we keep people away from it if we can't guard it?!" David argued. "That thing in the sky is only going to attract attention. You know the people in this town, Zelena declared war on Regina promising death and destruction and people showed up to watch like it was a Saturday night at the movie theater!"

"We use word of mouth," she insisted stepping forward between David and Rumpelstiltskin. She had seen him open his mouth and after facing the possibility of seeing his captor again, being accused of murder, and having everyone in the room seemingly ignore his orders she knew that whatever he was going to say wouldn't have been polite. But fortunately for her, working with the dwarves while she'd been in Neverland had given her the ability to intervene before small spats became big fights. The easiest way to curb arguments, in her opinion, was to offer a solution. "It doesn't take long in this town for news to spread, we'll just start telling everyone now and by tomorrow afternoon no one will go near it if we tell them there is a protection spell around it."

The room was quiet for a moment as the group stared at her, then turned their gaze on one another. How was it possible, after everything that had happened in the last week, they still acted beyond surprised when she came up with ideas like this?

"It's not a bad idea," Regina said slowly, thinking something over in her mind. "Tell everyone it's protected by something with a little kick in it and it might work. Quickly, if we go back and tell the seven loud mouths…"

"So, it's back to the diner then?" David questioned looking between her and Rumpelstiltskin, his phone still in his hand as if he was about to make the call to Emma at any second, or at least as soon as they formulated their plan.

"At the moment," Rumple sighed after a moment, "telling people to stay away is really all we can do."


	53. Words Unspoken

David called Emma before they left. She didn't pick up, instead he left her a message telling her what they knew: Zelena was dead and with her magic freed from the pendant, she'd managed to trigger the time portal. David added that he knew that she was in the middle of a difficult decision at the moment, but wanted her to call him or Mary Margaret so they wouldn't worry and they knew she was safe. She didn't know what decision he was talking about and walking out of the sheriff station, listening to the concern in his voice, she figured that it was better if she didn't ask. It sounded like family business, if it concerned the pair of them they'd say something…at least she hoped they would. Besides, they had other problems to worry about. Or just one, really big problem to worry about.

She watched it the entire drive back to the diner. It was hard not to. The sun went down and it got darker and darker, allowing the beam of light to get brighter and brighter against the sky. It would be ok. It had to be ok, they had to find a way to fix it! Otherwise…she didn't want to think about what "otherwise" would bring them. They could only keep people away for so long, before someone got too curious about the beacon and wandered over only to discover that there was no protection spell. Or worse, in a town like this, there had to be one or two Zelena's, people who were more than willing to risk everything and take advantage of the time portal to go back and change something.

"Still nothing from Emma," David said as they once again found themselves standing in the small patio area of Granny. "Still nothing" didn't stop him from dialing and pressing the phone to his ear in another attempt to reach her again.

"I'm sure she's fine, Hook is with her…" but she wasn't listening to Regina's unfamiliar assurances. Something had caught her eye, something that made her gasp and tighten the grip she had on her fiancé's arm.

"Rumple!" she said pointing at the sky as she saw it happen. They were looking, but it was too late, they wouldn't see it…or could they? It was the strangest thing. For a moment the light seemed to wink, or stagger. It was as if it had closed for the briefest of moments before blinking open again. But now, now that she'd pointed, now that everyone was staring, it did it again! Only this time it didn't come back. There was quiet for a second as they all stared into the empty normal looking sky, waiting for it to come back…but it didn't. Was that good? Or bad?

"It's gone!" David observed, a small sigh of relief in his voice. Clearly he believed it was a good thing. She wished she could be that confident.

"Gone for good?" Robin Hood questioned.

"Well, some magic can run out once the objects being used to create it run dry," Regina suggested sounding unsure. "It's possible whatever sparked it to life simply ran out or magic."

"Not this spell," the words burst out of her mouth before she could catch them and as they did she was suddenly aware that it wasn't Robin Hood or David, or even Regina that was staring at her as if she'd just spoken a foreign language, but Rumple. It made sense. He usually was the one to answer questions or misconceptions like that, but while he'd been gone the job had fallen to her, and he was the only one of them not quite used to it. He would though, he'd have to get used to it. She couldn't erase the information she now had in her head and she wouldn't stop being helpful. But she would have to explain things to him…later, after she explained something else.

"The ingredients Zelena used for her spell," she went on, ignoring his gaze and focusing on the problem, "they were symbolic, none of them contained magic. That was what she needed the baby for to enhance her own. This magic is coming from Zelena, it's her magic fueling it unreservedly. It won't 'dry up'. At least not any time soon, not without something to contain it."

"She's right," Rumpelstiltskin assured them, sounding so amazed it made her blush. "That portal would only close if it got what it wanted, if it took someone with it."

"Emma?" Regina questioned looking at David. "Do you think she could have gone through?" She wasn't sure why she thought it would have been Emma, there were any number of people in this town that might have been drawn to it by now. But she did have to admit, with their luck and Emma's natural curiosity and desire to be a hero, the savior, going to investigate the portal did sound like something she would do. And, unless David had left her a different message on the way back to Granny's, he'd neglected to tell her to stay away from it.

"It's possible," Rumple answered. "But even if she didn't someone did."

"What could that mean?" she questioned, glancing at him. "For us?" She knew that portal closing this soon couldn't be a good thing.

"It means that if that person isn't careful, our present, their future, could begin to change quite drastically. But it all depends how far back they actually went and where."

"Dammit, she's still not answering!" David shouted angrily finally ending his call. He rubbed his forehead nervously, obviously concerned before closing it altogether and looking at Rumpelstiltskin with desperation in his eyes. "Where and when they went...is there any way to determine that?" David asked heroically, sounding as if he was ready to make his own portal and jump in after her.

"No!" he answered with irritation in his voice. "This is new magic, never before done! That portal could have carried someone back in time centuries, or back to last week, they could have ended up in Storybrooke, or the Enchanted Forest, or Neverland!"

She tightened the grip that she had on his arm. She understood, she knew that he was worried about the portal, but what was worse was that it was obvious he felt guilt over it. She knew the way his mind worked, and it didn't matter that he had no choice in fetching the items Zelena had required, he'd done it. He blamed himself for this, for not understanding it, for not knowing the answers. But it wasn't his fault, not to her, and she was going to inform him of this just as soon as she could calm him down and get him to stop yelling at the people who were just trying to help. Fortunately her touch seemed to have that effect on him and after a moment she felt him sigh and ease against her slightly as if he was trying to please her. It wasn't exactly what she wanted, but given the situation, she'd take it.

"It all depends upon what the individual was focused on at the time. Their thoughts. Their emotions. Their desires. In many ways, the intent of the individual using the portal is the final requirement."

David didn't look reassured, he didn't look comforted. But until they heard back from Emma, in all honesty, she didn't think he would have peace of mind. She didn't know where Emma had gone, what decision she was making, why she and Hook had stormed off into the woods before they'd seen the portals light, but for his sake, for her father, she hoped that she'd at least contact them soon...of course then they'd have to worry about who else might have fallen through. Emma or a stranger, which was worse? "Please," David begged, with more gentility and less desperation. "Is there anything that we can do?"

"I'm sorry, but it can't be done," he answered right away with sympathy. He could relate to a father's pain, to the unknown, to a child going through a portal and not coming back. If he could fix it, he would.

"Alright," Regina conceded. "There's nothing that can be done, we know the worst of what could happen, what's the best case scenario?"

"They come back," he breathed, as if it was obvious. Maybe it was. "If they could figure out how to recreate the portal and open it wherever they are, with the intention to return home, then they'd return only moments after they left because that was as far as they knew their future existed."

"It flashed!" she exclaimed suddenly, her jaw dropping as she realized exactly what she'd seen in the sky. "It flashed, when I point it out to you! It was there and then it wasn't, I pointed and by the time you turned around it was back again before it disappeared completely."

"Belle," David asked stepping forward and staring at her with intensity. "Are you sure?"

She swallowed nervously, but nodded. She might not have known what it was but she'd seen it and now that she had an explanation, she was positive. "I saw it."

"Could that have been it?" David asked Rumple. "A return?"

"Yes," he answered. He glanced at her and she nearly broke just at the sight of the look he gave her. It was the look he'd given her last night, a look that didn't contain even a sliver uncertainty. Trust. He hadn't seen it, but he believed she had.

"Then we don't have anything to worry about," Robin Hood concluded. "If anything too drastic had been changed we'd know, wouldn't we? We'd have two sets of memories."

"Oh, quite the opposite," he corrected with a chuckle. "You'd have no memory of anything being changed at all because the past you had before no longer existed, and that is if there was any interaction." It was eerie. It was strange. That meant that there could be a memory in her head, that hadn't been there only a second ago, a past that someone had influenced in some way and altered how she'd ended up here, with him, and she might not even know it! It was mind boggling. It was crazy even for the woman who had spent twenty-eight years in an asylum.

"Alright," David sighed, looking around before glancing at his phone. "Let's not panic. Someone went through, someone came back, and for now the portal is closed. I don't know how I don't know why, but so long as it's shut there is nothing to worry about, right? No reason to believe that Emma or anyone else for that matter is missing."

She could see the torment in his face. He wanted to answer honestly, to say that he was right, that everything was fine. But he couldn't. There were a million things to worry about, hundreds of threads that could have been unwoven, dire consequences they might not be aware of, whether Emma had gone through the portal or not!

"For now," he answered, choosing his words carefully, "there is no reason to believe that your daughter is missing."

"Great," he muttered, glancing at his phone. "I'll get Henry to call Emma. She'll answer for him," he concluded, then turned his back and bounded up the stairs leaving the rest of them behind. She could see through what he'd said, one glance and she was certain David could too. There was no reason to believe that Emma was missing, but at the moment there was also no reason to believe she wasn't missing. Ironically enough, only time would tell. But David, in his determined optimism, or maybe just blind desperation ignored what he'd just heard, and chose to believe in the more positive of the two statements. For now, he wanted to believe that Emma was safe.


	54. The Past Revisited

Emma was safe.

It was the first thing that she heard the second that the four of them followed David back into the diner. "She texted!" David told them, striding forward to talk to them with a smile of relief on his face. "She texted Mary Margaret to let her know that she was alright and coming back. We panicked for nothing!" He reported gleefully. But had they? The portal had closed then opened again, she'd seen it! If it wasn't Emma then someone had gone through the portal and they really needed to figure out who it was and what they'd done…or didn't do.

But then again, time was a tricky beast, that was what all the books she'd read over the last few days had told her. Whether Emma went through or someone else, it was done, over, in the past...literally. The portal was gone, things seemed in order, David and Mary Margaret had their child, Henry had his memories, Emma was safe, she had her Rumple, and even Regina seemed perfectly content when Robin asked if she wanted to go with him to pick Roland up for some ice cream! It was already dark, tomorrow would come, and if something had changed, then they couldn't do anything about it now even if they did realize something wasn't as it should have been.

There was a hand on her back as David led Mary Margaret away to discuss "the reason he'd looked so worried." Ruby. Just behind her, smiling before she motioned over her other shoulder. "Your boyfriend is brooding," she muttered with a friendly smile.

She followed Ruby's eyes to the corner of the diner where he was sitting alone, staring out the window and even though she couldn't see his eyes she could see the tension in his hunched shoulders clear enough. Ruby was right, he was brooding, though what about she couldn't even begin to guess. In all honesty she hadn't even been aware that he'd wandered away from her! But it didn't matter in the end, not anymore. He wouldn't "brood" for long...and he wouldn't be just her "boyfriend" much longer either, a title she was excited to shed. She gave Ruby a small smile and squeezed her hand in a "thank you", promising herself that she'd tell her what had passed between them later before the night was over so she wasn't too surprised to see the announcement in the paper tomorrow, then pulled a chair up close beside him.

He gave her a gentle smile and adjusted to accommodate her before him, so they could sit close together, but she could still see the distance in his eyes! She didn't like it. "Something is wrong," she muttered, glancing at him.

His smile only grew. "Not any more than usual," he answered gently. The statement only saddened her. That suggested that there was always something wrong, always something in the back of his mind, always something itching there even if it was small.

"Are you worried?" she questioned. "About, about Emma? Because David said she was fine…" but that wasn't it. He was already shaking his head by the time she'd suggested it.

"No," he whispered quietly. "I trust what you saw. And even if she did go through I can't think of a more suitable candidate, though that still leaves me with little guarantee that everything will turn out as it should…that it already has." Cryptic. She hated when he was cryptic, when he didn't give her direct answers. It made her feel like he was keeping something from her, trying to cover something up. She hated that feeling.

"What aren't you telling me?" she asked desperately, hoping that he'd give her something more than random phrases that made little sense to anyone let alone her.

He sighed and shook his head at the question. "I don't like being afraid that we might lose each other again," he admitted almost shyly. "I didn't like thinking that at any second Emma or anyone could have changed one thing in the slightest and we might never-"

"We'd have found each other," she assured him confidently. "One way or another, we'd rescue each other just like we always do."

"And without the cold of the mountains to keep you with me, without a deal…"

"We'd still end up here," she insisted. She didn't know why she felt so confident about that, she'd often found herself thinking that she would have been doomed to another life if he'd never come for her, but even if it hadn't happened that day she knew that one way or another she would have ended up with him. They were bound together, tied in a way that not even the worst of curses could break. Even if he'd never come for her that day, she'd still be sitting with him one day…she'd still want to be married to him.

Something caught her eye out of the corner of her eye, something moving outside the diner that made her smile. "You don't have to worry about Emma…she's back!" She meant to stand and greet her but when she saw that he didn't move at all, not even to look at the girl with interest like he would have she stayed put.

"I never was," he muttered confidently. She nodded and made herself comfortable in the chair again, ignoring Emma's entrance and feeling just as confused as ever. If he never was worried about Emma, then what was it that had him concerned, that had put tension in his shoulders, what exactly had he been "brooding" over?

"Then what-"

"You," he answered, leaning forward and reaching for her hand, whispering in that tone that suggested he didn't want the rest of the world to hear him, to see him, even catch a glimpse, of who he really was even by accident. "The only one I will constantly and eternally worry about, is you."

That talk, the discussion that she'd wanted to have with him ever since they'd realized that Pan was on the loose...this was it! It looked different than she'd expected it to, no wonder she hadn't recognized it at first! She'd expected they'd be alone and that there would be screaming involved in that "discussion". Yet here they were exchanging whispers and concerns in the middle of Granny's as Emma hugged her son to her side and spoke to her parents! How remarkable!

"You can't save me from everything," she whispered leaning in toward him and gazing down at their interlocked fingers. "You can't keep me from rushing off and wanting to help people."

She expected a quick rebuttal, maybe even a motion to go back to the store or home now that they'd officially crossed into this discussion. But instead he smiled and rubbed a thumb over the back of her hand. "You won't stop me from trying to keep you safe," he answered in a whisper. "No more than I could stop you from being the beautiful soul you are." And with that he released her hand and leaned back into his chair. That was it?! Their big, long awaited discussion on his overprotective nature and her willingness to always run into danger?! It was over?!

It had consisted of all of thirty seconds, but...strangely enough, she fine with it...maybe even happy about it. No, maybe it wasn't over like she'd thought, maybe it was just over for now! They'd come back to it, eventually, no doubt when trouble was back and tension was high again, but for now they could exist on the easy compromise that they'd made.

He understood that her desire to run off and help people in times of trouble was part of who she was and she wouldn't stop.

She understood that he would forever be protective and want her to think of herself first.

It wasn't a great compromise...but it was enough for now.

He muttered something else, something about wanting to know what she'd learned while he'd been "away" as he put it, about knowing just how much she'd absorbed from his books. But his eyes wandered as she began to talk and as she turned her body to listen she couldn't exactly say that she blamed him. Emma was sitting in a booth with her parents, her new brother, and Henry. She was telling a story, a new story

She'd gone through the portal after all.

And worse…she'd run into them.

Nearly all of them from the sound of it.

Hook had gone with her, they'd landed right in the time that her parents had met each other and according to her it was something as simple as a snap of a branch that had interrupted and changed the course of events. It was strange though. Rumple was right it wasn't like having two memories in their head, the story Emma had to tell first was how her parents originally met, before she'd disturbed them. Mary Margaret and David baulked at each other as if it was the simplest thing in the world…too simple compared to the tale they knew, the tale Emma was telling. She'd been part of it, in their memories, though not as Emma or Hook, under aliases and false looks. A spell! One of the many things they'd given when they encountered Rumpelstiltskin.

She glanced over at him after Emma began detailing a ball that she'd gone too. He looked shocked, like all of this was new and he was hearing it for the first time, but he'd said himself that if they had any interaction he'd have those memories...why did he look like he didn't. "Do you remember?" she asked quietly, turning back to him as Emma went on talking to her parents. "Does any of what they're saying sound familiar?"

"No," he hissed, irritated. She could relate to that, not remembering something that should sound familiar, with memories not being where they should be. And if she knew him, he wouldn't take it nearly as well as she did. "Though memory potions are a particular specialty of mine. If they'd told me where they were from that would have been my first instinct…to preserve the future. Even if it was Hook's..." She smiled. All things considered he was taking it better than she thought he would.

"What about you?" he asked. "She said you were there, too."

She felt herself blush, just as she had in her memory of the day in question. "What I remember about it probably isn't what you'd expect." She meant for the comment to dismiss the conversation, so she could turn back and finish listening to Emma's tale but her comment seemed to have the opposite effect on him. Instead of looking back to Emma he watched her, his look intensely curious as he reclined against the back of his chair. Her blush deepened when she realized that he wouldn't let her forget about it without explaining further...she supposed it wouldn't be telling him anything he didn't already know.

"I remember the two strangers, because the girl, Emma apparently knew my name. It was the first time in months that anyone besides you or Robin Hood knew my name. But even then it wasn't them that I remember most about that day, in fact I barely remember Hook being there or Emma's face because the person I remember most was you. The conversation we had when they arrived. They knew my name and I thought that meant they knew me, but they only said you told them about me, which of course you denied fervently. Knowing what I know now it was probably true, it would have explained your shock of course but I couldn't stop thinking…" that he might like her? That they were becoming friends? That maybe she crossed his mind as often as he crossed hers?

"I told you," she went on finally, thinking back to the day they'd remembered their past just after the curse had broken and they'd had a discussion similar to this. "I was taken with you long before I ever knew I was, just the thought that you'd been talking about me made me feel..." Amazing? Nervous? Happy? Sad? Scared? All of it all at once?! She shook her head and swallowed the feelings back down along with the tears that had stirred in her eyes because of that day.

"Their arrival and departure was quick Rumple, but you were the one I remember then. I was excited you'd come back early, that we'd have our tea together like always, and dinner, and even if I didn't want to admit it when you moved into our room soon after and began working on a potion, maybe the memory potion as you predicted…I was happy when you were around, even if I didn't know it."

Yes, Emma's face had long since faded from her memory, Hook was nearly gone completely just a black blur in the corner of her vision, but the feeling she'd had when she thought he'd been talking about her to others, the way she'd felt lighter because he'd been home, and the feel of her stomach fluttering when she'd been reading downstairs and he'd appeared there on the table, saying that one of his potions had backfired and he couldn't work in his tower that day…those feelings were still there, clear as day in her head. And they were telling.

"I wouldn't have had any reason to be working in that room, other than to be close to you," he whispered with a smirk. "Even if I can't remember it I know that whatever excuse I would have come up with for doing it would have been a lie. You weren't the only one to feel it and not understand it, I have always liked being close to you. It's soothing."

She smiled. That was what she'd always suspected. Of course then she hadn't expected that it was because he loved her, she just figured he'd been lonely. Sometimes it was nice to know what had really been happening, what thoughts had been in his head. She wanted to do more than smile, even if they were in Granny's even if they were surrounded by people. She wanted to reach over and grab his hand, tangle their fingers together again. She wanted to kiss him and take the opportunity to tell everyone that this wasn't just a passing flirtation or temporary attraction the two of them shared. It was more, and she wanted them, her friends, to know that without doubt, before they read the paper tomorrow. But before she could do anything David stepped into the center of the room shouting above the hum of conversation "Excuse me! If I could have everyone's attention just for a moment!"

She smiled and turned herself in her seat, paying attention to David, instead of the strange memory she now held in her head that she knew hadn't been there when she woke up this morning, and yet could never remember being without. _Later, _she promised herself. They'd tell the town about their engagement later, after the Charmings had their moment. Right now wasn't about them, it was for the Charmings baby, it was about his name.

"Uh, this Coronation Ceremony is something we've looked forward to for a long time. The arrival of our new son has been the cause of great joy for our family," David announced, walking back and standing beside his family, every bit the proud father that she'd only glimpsed in the past. "And we hope you can share in it as we name him for a hero, someone who saved every one of us, who we loved, and he loved back." David glanced down at Mary Margaret, looking as though he was about to burst into tears at any moment. His father perhaps? Mary Margaret's? An Uncle maybe who'd died in some war?

"People of Storybrooke," Mary Margaret proclaimed grinning happily, her own eyes shining with tears that she suspected were happy and sad all at once, "it is our great joy to introduce you to our son: Prince Neal."


	55. Then and Now

Prince Neal.

She felt her own eyes flood with tears as her heart sped up in excitement and sorrow. But no matter what she was feeling, she imagined that it was nothing like what was going through his mind right now! Mary Margaret had looked right at him when she announced it, and he'd immediately closed his eyes, trying to contain the flood of emotions that she knew he'd been feeling but tried desperately to hide from the world. And for good reason. Others had stared and looked at him for a moment after the announcement, looking like they were expecting him to break into tears. But as much as she knew he wanted to, he wouldn't. He was always going to be her Rumpelstiltskin, always going to put on a good face and pretend he was emotionless to the world around him, to everyone in the diner…except for her.

By the time she slipped forward and slipped her hand into his the stares and looks had passed as applause built around them. She didn't think he heard it, didn't really think he could see what was in front of him, or even feel her next to him. He was too worked up for something like that, and as great an honor as they'd just bestowed upon his son, on her best friend, she knew that this was the last place he needed to be in the wake of the announcement. So once the applause faded, once people went back to their drinks, and after Emma picked herself up and left to meet Hook out front, she rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand gently and gave a small encouraging squeeze. "Take a walk with me?" she requested.

But it wasn't a request for either of them. He needed to get away from here and now that Emma was back and everything was the way it should be, now that the baby had been named, there was no reason for them to be there anymore. So he let her tug on his hand and pulled him to his feet. Hook and Emma were out front, having a conversation she didn't think they needed to interrupt so she chose to lead him to the side door, to go through the ally, but found Davids hand on her arm pulling her to a stop and Rumple as well, seeing as how his hand felt welded to her own at the moment.

"Um," David sighed and looked at her, glanced over her shoulder at Rumpelstiltskin, then quickly looked back at her with uncomfortable guilty eyes. "Things in the Enchanted Forest got a little...tense," he finally admitted. "But I want you to know that what we did, we thought it was for the best, but we...I probably could've handled it better and I want you to know that I am grateful, for you and especially for Neal. I...we," he amended again quickly, making a motion over his shoulder to Mary Margaret talking with a few others as she held her son close. "We wouldn't be here, in Storybrooke, safe again with Emma and Henry again if it wasn't for Neal so, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry...if I was...less than princely, during the last year."

_If _he'd been less than princely. There was no _if _in her mind. Put simply David, even Snow at certain times, had seemed so against the two of them they felt like the were at war. They'd fought, Neal and David had screamed at each other over their differences of opinion...but it didn't matter anymore. The warm hand holding tightly to hers told her that. It was in the past, it had happened, friends didn't always have to get along perfectly, and the desperation she felt from Rumple to leave this place as soon as possible pushed her to do what she believed was the right thing. They loved Neal. Whether he'd always seen eye to eye with the royals or not Neal had loved them, she was certain of that. He would have loved to hear these words, to be the one to respond to them...but now he couldn't. And if her words could put this entire saga to rest, close this chapter on their lives, and get Rumple out of here sooner, then so be it.

"We understood," she muttered, swallowing her own pride, a thick lump in her throat with the words. "We understood why you felt the way you felt, we just hoped that you understood our side of it too."

"We didn't, probably not like we thought we did at least," David admitted, which nearly made her smile because she thought that truth took more courage to admit than giving his apologizing. "But..." David turned his back and glanced around the diner, Ruby, Mary Margaret, the dwarves, Henry, even Emma outside, she couldn't see his eyes but she felt as though he was glancing at each one and when he finally turned back to her his eyes shined with something like gratitude. "I think I do now...thank you for that."

She knew there were tears in her eyes. But she also knew that if there were tears in her eyes then he would be at a breaking point, the pressure on her hand told her that much. So while she wanted desperately to reach forward and hug David, to right all the wrongs they'd committed in the past year, she knew she didn't have the time-he didn't have the time. Who said it all needed to be rewritten now, anyway? With any luck there would be plenty of time for that...in the future.

So instead she reached out, took his hand and offered an assuring squeeze and a gentle smile, then with a nod released David and turned back to the man she knew was barely keeping it together after that conversation, after hearing them name their prince after his son. Quickly she resumed her task again, thread her arm through his elbow, and led him out the side door, through the ally, and down the street to the pawn shop...but David had used up too much time and as they came closer she could see the tears swimming in his eyes and knew he'd never make it across the street in time. So she pulled out the keys to the library and let them into her closer building.

He released her hand immediately and ventured off into one of the reading rooms while she turned on the lights. He'd cried in front of her before, so she knew that if he'd wanted her around he would have stayed by her side or grabbed for her instead of releasing her. The fact that he'd left told her he just needed a bit of time alone, to process what he'd heard, to take it in and not feel so overwhelmed. So she took her time, unnecessarily lighting the entire floor instead of just the room he'd disappeared into in order to give him a moment to collect himself before going after him.

When she found him he was in the back room, his shoulders were slumped as he supported himself against the back of a chair, and his knuckles were white, just barely keeping a grip on this reality, the one without his son. She leaned against the door jam as she watched him for a minute. He was still, perfectly silent, but looked defeated, small, and tired. He looked every bit the three hundred years that Neal had once told her he was. After all he'd been through, all that had happened to him, who would have thought it would be that name that broke him?

"Are you alright?" she asked after a moment, breaking his silent vigil.

He nodded, but it wasn't confident, it was like he was trying to convince himself that he was alright. But he didn't have to be, she didn't expect him to be "alright" after he'd lost his son! This reaction, these feelings, she'd known they were there, known that he was covering them up this morning, last night even, but honored his desire to deal with them in his own time. It wasn't on his own time, not after what had happened at the diner, but this moment had been inevitable.

After another moment of silence he shook his head and she watched the fingers on the chairs back tighten impossibly again. "I didn't expect…"

She swallowed and nodded, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "Neither did I," she sighed. She understood the purpose of a naming ceremony, and she was happy about what had happened, really she was, it was an amazing honor, something Neal would have been immensely proud of! But she did wish that they'd thought to warn him, to let him know that it was coming when they'd invited him so it didn't feel like a punch to his gut. She wished she'd known so she could have prepared to handle this when it came. She knew he didn't want to talk about it, to think about it, but he was going to have to whether he wanted to or not. It was better he talk about it with her than anyone else. He'd be more comfortable that way.

"But they're right," she began gently, pushing away from the wall and moving over toward him slowly, hoping he wouldn't spook and push her away like he would have in the past. "He is a hero. It's an honor. I think he'd realize that, I think he'd be happy about it."

He nodded, then finally glanced up at her. The look in his eyes; it was shocking! It nearly made her stumble, fall over, want to leave the room! Jealousy. He'd never looked at her like that before, not once! Why on earth would that be the emotion on his face at a time like this? But the emotion faded fast, giving way to the soft gaze that she knew better than any other...sadness. "I think you spent more time with him since I found him than I did," he explained finally, looking away from her. She didn't know what prompted it. Her eyes? The small misstep she'd made? Or maybe it was the tears in her eyes.

She was crying. _She _was the one crying! For him? Yes…maybe…partially. It was tragic, it was, because she knew that it was the truth. But she was also crying for Neal, for herself. She could remember now, she knew everything that had happened in the Enchanted Forest, what they'd gone through, what he'd done for her, the strange relationship that had developed between them in the few months they'd been together. He was right, she had spent more time with him than he had. They'd had the chance to bond in a way that father and son never would. And it was terribly unfair! But, maybe, because of that she'd been wrong this morning, in thinking he needed to talk about it. Maybe it was her that needed to talk, needed him to listen to the stories she'd tell of his son, because really, at the end of the day...she missed her best friend.

She moved around him and sat on the end of the table, trying to swallow her tears so he couldn't see or hear them. He'd understand, but at the moment there was no need to rub salt into his wounds, she needed to soothe them on her own, knowing that what she was about to say would be painful enough. But she wanted him to know, to understand his son, the man that he was. Just as she'd once wanted his son to understand his father.

"He was a good man, Rumple," she admitted, unable to keep her tears from rolling off her cheeks. "He wasn't perfect, he had his flaws, but he was loyal to those that gained his respect. Your son was good and I don't know what I would have done without him. He took care of me when there was no one else to do it, when I couldn't even bring myself to do it. He gave me hope when I had nothing to believe in. He gave me you. And that is a debt that I will never be able to repay. And he did love you. He loved you so much more than he wanted to admit sometimes. But it was good and pure and layered. He was one of the best people I've ever known and I will always miss him, but I'll also always be thankful for him. Always."

She sniffed and wished that she hadn't as she quickly made a motion to wipe her tears away before they could do more harm than good. She felt like she should apologize, say that she was sorry for getting to know him better than he had, but she just couldn't. It would dishonor everything that Neal had done for her and it wouldn't be right. Someday she'd tell him the entire story, someday he'd be ready to hear it and visit his son's grave, but until then they would just have to accept what had happened in all its unfairness.

She heard him move from behind her and for a second she held her breath, wondering if it had been too much, if he hadn't been ready for it and he'd leave her there. But he didn't. Of course he didn't. He moved in front of her and took the hands that she had set in her lap. He held them tightly in his own. For the longest time he didn't look at her, just held her hands, rubbed the backs of them, played with her fingers, and finally kissed her palms. There was something on his mind, something holding his concentration, but she didn't ask what it was, didn't dare impose any more on him than she already had. She just waited. Waited until his grip softened, until he finally raised his eyes and she could see the tears pooled there, until he reached forward, pushed her hair back, and kissed her forehead and she felt guilt flare in her chest. It was unfair enough as it was, the fact that he was comforting her nearly made her want to break down into tears again. How had this happened?! How had the world turned upside-down so fast without her noticing?!

"Belle," he whispered softly after a moment, his voice raw and harsh in her ears, his forehead resting against her own. No. She was wrong. The world wasn't upside-down, it was just balanced for once. He wasn't holding her up, they were holding each other up in the wake of their mutual loss. "Marry me?" he asked softly.

She smiled finally, his remark chasing her despair away. "You already asked me that-"

"No, no," he interrupted, shaking his head a bit. "Marry me…now!"

She pulled away from him a bit, looking him dead in the eye. "Now?" she questioned. Had she heard him right? Yes. She had. Her clarification wasn't necessary, she could see the request in his eyes. She'd heard right.

"Now," he confirmed with desperate eyes, "tonight."

It took her breath away, surprised her, and confused her! Now? Now?! He'd said soon this afternoon but this was…soon! "But, but why? Why now? Why so suddenly-"

"I don't want to wait," he explained quickly. "Every time we're together something happens that threatens to tear us apart and my son…Baelfire didn't sacrifice his life, didn't give us this opportunity so we could squander it by waiting longer than necessary." Suddenly he tangled their fingers together, held her hands secure in his own again, a ball of flesh and bone so tightly knit together she couldn't tell where she ended and he began. "I love you. I want to marry you. I'm ready now," he muttered a second later, "if you are too then-"

"Yes!" she burst out, the word leaving her body on an excited amazed sigh. She nodded when he looked her over with something like excitement and disbelief. It was hard for her to believe too, but he was right! Neal would want this, they'd talked about it enough for her to know, if it made her happy then he'd want it. "Yes," she whispered again then leaned forward and kissed him again. It wasn't something she needed to think about or question for herself, she'd been ready to marry him for longer than either of them knew. She'd marry him tonight, now, in this very room, if only….

She pulled away, her eyes glancing out the windows into the darkness and catching the time on a wall clock. "There are details," she reminded him. They'd promised to love each other for the rest of their lives already, and she'd happily do it again now, but if he wanted a real marriage, a legal one, then they'd need more than just each other. "There are things that need done," she went on. "People, announcements, at this hour-"

"I'll take care of all that…" he assured her, shaking his head as if the details she'd mentioned were nothing. After what they'd been through in this relationship, maybe they were. "Marry me," he insisted again, as if worried she'd changed her mind. She hadn't. Not at all.

"What do you need me to do?" she asked happily.

"Prepare your vows?" he suggested. "Meet me in an hour? I'll do the rest."

"Where?"

"The well," he responded without a moment of hesitation, as if he'd planned or hoped for it all along. "The place we first kissed after the curse broke, after you came back to me. Give me a chance to make a promise to you there that I'll keep for the rest of our lives."

She smiled, because she liked when he referred to them in the plural, as if they were an inseparable pair, connected. It would be their life, from here on out. Or rather from there and onward. "In an hour then," she confirmed.

He smiled, beamed really, then gave her a swift kiss and left before she could even really wrap her mind around what had just happened. Married. Married! Tonight. Now…in one hour. The realization made her hop off the table she'd been sitting on as nervous energy urged her to move. An hour didn't give her a lot of time to do much of anything. Prepare vows. That was all he'd told her to do, but it wasn't enough. She didn't know what he had in mind and she didn't really care, but she wanted something traditional, something familiar about a wedding. Maybe it was her or maybe it was Lacey's fashion sense but she didn't want to marry him in a black skirt and green sweater. She wanted something a bit more formal. It was one of the rare occasions that Lacey came in handy. The girl could make an outfit out of anything, sewing machine or not for any occasion…even for a wedding.

She didn't have a lot of clothes left in the apartment, but she had just enough. She fumbled quickly through her closet looking for anything that would be appropriate to wear to a wedding, or rather for her own. Originally she'd been looking for white but expanded her search to cream and off white as she went reminding herself that she couldn't be fussy. She found one skirt that was solid white as well as one clean shirt…well, mostly a shirt. It was mesh, meant to be worn over something colored. She searched drawer after drawer but didn't find anything that she liked to put under it. Nothing appropriate that would satisfy Lacey. She was about to give up when suddenly a thought dawned on her. She didn't need to wear something under it, just over it. And she knew exactly what that was…or Lacey did at least. Before she left she grabbed her only pair of white shoes, or rather the only pair that had white on them. They weren't completely white, they had a deep navy blue, nearly black on them but she didn't particularly care. He wouldn't be looking at her feet, he wouldn't notice, no one besides Lacey would.

She placed the clothes she had gathered together in a bag and practically ran across the street to the pawn shop, half expecting to find him inside. But he wasn't and she was perfectly alright with not running into him until he was ready to meet her. She had to find Ruby but there was something she wanted first, something she had glanced at while working there over the past week or so. She unlocked one of the jewelry cases, reached in, and pulled out a strand of pearls that she'd been admiring, or would have admired if he hadn't been gone. They were beautiful, she'd known that even when he was gone, and she would have stared at them all night if she wasn't in such a hurry. But she was, and she could admire them later.

Remembering her time she locked the case, grabbed her bag with the dagger in it, and double checked to make sure the door was secure, before practically running into Granny's. "Ruby!" she called racing up to her.

"Hey!" Ruby smiled, looking her over happily, "you just missed your boyfriend, he came in here and left with-"

She shook her head, trying to find words, to hurry them along, trying to tell her too much at once. "He's not my boyfriend, not anymore. That white coat you have, the one in your closet, can I borrow it?!"

The girl looked her over suspiciously, shocked even as she tried to sort through what she'd just said. "Yeah, why?"

She glanced around her, knowing that people were looking at her, knowing what they would think if they found out, knowing more than a few of them would like to join them if they knew and yanked on Ruby's arm, dragging her through the diner to the inn. "I'll tell you on the way to your room." It wasn't that she didn't want people there…but at the same time it was. She didn't want people there. It wasn't anything against them, the wonderful people she now called friends, but the truth of the matter was that what was happening had nothing to do with them and everything to do with her and Rumpelstiltskin. She wanted it to be just as private as their life had turned out

Ruby was surprised when she found out and she couldn't really blame her. She was still trying to put it all together! "You got engaged yesterday, less than twenty-four hours ago, and now you're getting married in an hour?!"

"Forty-two minutes," she corrected, conscious of the time. Ruby was shocked and stunned, but silently fulfilled her request as she walked over to her closet and pulled out the white coat she owned.

"It'll be a little long on you," she warned, "but if you roll the sleeves a bit it shouldn't be a problem. It's a bit chilly tonight anyway." She nodded as she took it from her, smiling at the girls unique non-judgmental understanding, and promising to return the borrowed item later. She wished she could stay, wished there was time to talk to her more to explain what happened with him yesterday and tonight! But she'd have to wait until later-

"Belle!" Ruby called before she could dash out of the room. "Wait," she watched as Ruby went back to her closet and dug around a bit more before finally pulling out a box and setting it on her bed. She fumbled through a drawer before tossing something wrapped in plastic at her. "White hose," she explained, "to keep you warm. They're new, just keep them and call it a wedding gift. And whether you've got forty-two minutes or forty-two hours every bride needs a veil. This is supposed to go with the jacket and I imagine it should do fine for such short notice," she added opening up the box and handing her a beautiful white hat with a cream colored ribbon. "It's not exactly traditional, but-"

"Neither are we," she smiled, tears coming to her eyes as she looked the items over. She was right, more than right! Lacey had already put everything together for her in her mind and it would be perfect. Beautiful. She reached up and hugged Ruby tight. "I'd ask you to come but-"

"I get it," she squeezed back. "Just promise you'll tell me all about it later?"

She nodded before pulling away. "I will," she promised her friend as they shared excited smiles. This was good. Really good.

"Go!" Ruby yelled after a moment. "Hurry up, you don't want to be late!" she was racing down the stairs before she heard the last words. She couldn't invite Ruby, she wouldn't invite anyone else, but there was already one person that she'd promised a spot to, one person she did want there.

"Father!" she yelled crashing once more into the beautiful smelling flower shop, happy to find it unlocked. "Papa!"

"Belle?" he called, walking out of the back in a gesture that reminded her so much of Rumpelstiltskin it almost made her laugh. But she couldn't, there wasn't enough time to laugh.

"It's tonight," she informed him. "We decided. It's tonight!"

"Tonight?" he asked looking her over, noting the white garments in her hands. "Now?"

She nodded, beaming. "Now."


	56. A Happy Ending

She dressed in the small bathroom her father had in the back, pleased and proud with what she'd come up with in such a short amount of time. She'd thank Ruby for the coat and hat later, she'd have to because they were her favorite part of what she was wearing. No one would notice that her shirt was practically see through or that she'd hastily tied her hair up with pins and a small hair brush to the best of her ability. No, she knew it wouldn't matter to him, but she was happy that she looked appropriate. Maybe even more than appropriate if her father's tears were any indication.

"You are beautiful, my girl," he stated. She beamed, maybe even blushed a bit. She'd long since gotten past wondering what Rumpelstiltskin thought of her, since he reminded her so often, nearly every morning. But tonight she found herself hoping he'd agree once more, that she'd surprise him in some small way. "It's all I could do on short notice," her father said suddenly motioning to the darker jacket he'd put on over his shirt and trousers. "And if I'd had time I would have made something half as elegant as you are," he said before presenting her with a white bouquet of flowers that he'd had hidden behind his back. Tears gathered in her eyes at the sight. It was perfect. Small. White. Beautiful. It was spectacular, the best gift he could have given her…though second best next to the approval he'd given them.

She stepped forward and plucked one of the roses from the side. "Thank you, Papa," she whispered placing the flower in his breast pocket. He smiled and though she thought she couldn't be any happier today suddenly found herself over the moon at the fact that she had her father back, that he was being so supportive of all this. That he'd changed too. He reached out, hugged her tight to his chest, the kind of hug he used to give her when she was a small girl, the kind that she'd missed for so long. Tonight felt perfect already…but she knew it was going to get better.

He didn't know where to go. Apparently "the well" was not a common knowledge place in the town, but she was able to give him instructions. She'd only been there once, just after the curse broke, but remembered it perfectly, taking his truck up into the forest and explaining where he'd parked the last time. "You know your way around this town better than I do after twenty-eight years," her father joked with her.

She only shook her head. She'd like for it to be because she had so many adventures here but in the end there was something much more sinister to that. "Remind me to tell you about Lacey sometime," she muttered, realizing just how much her father had missed, suddenly thankful for what he wasn't going to miss. "There," she pointed out, her heart giving a sudden anxious, happy flutter, "that's his car!" And the other one, the one parked next to his, she could have sworn she'd seen it before somewhere. As she moved over to unlock his car and stick her bag inside, under protection of lock and key, something moved inside of it. A dog. Pongo. Archie. Perfect. She smiled as she realized what he'd done, who Ruby had tried to tell her Rumple had gotten out of the diner before she'd arrived. And it was no wonder she'd recognized the vehicle, she'd been in it yesterday, what felt like an eternity ago! Everything had all happened so fast since yesterday, but in a way she was glad that it had. Rumple was right, they shouldn't waste anymore time, Neal wouldn't have wanted them to.

She looked up the hill, toward her destination. She couldn't see anyone, but there was a warm glow coming through the trees. That was it. That was where they were going. And she was so excited that her mouth was suddenly dry, that she wondered if her legs would support her the entire walk. "Ready?" her father asked looking between her and the lighted area. She nodded without hesitation.

She'd been ready for longer than even she knew.

Walking through the forest in high heels wasn't the best decision she'd ever made, but her father helped her, placing a steadying arm on her back and offering a hand to catch her before she stumbled several times. But suddenly it all came into view as the hill leveled out and she grasped her fathers arm to keep from stumbling for another reason. It was breathtakingly perfect. And she had to fight to hold in her tears, to cover her gasp so that she didn't disturb the beautiful simplicity of it. Archie was there, waiting patiently and shuffling around the small clearing. He'd placed candles out on the well, which was where the light, the glow she'd seen, was coming from.

And he was there. Looking stunning as he always did, mysterious and gentle all at the same time. Her knees had been shaking the entire way up the hill, they'd felt like strands of cooked spaghetti, but it all faded the moment she saw him, the moment he turned and noticed she was there. And notice he did. She'd seen that look in his eyes before, the one he wore now. It was the one he got that made her think she'd surprised him, stunned him, and taken the air right out of his lungs. It was the look that automatically made her smile and blush with happiness. He calmed her, stilled her anxiety with just that one look, and made the short walk to get to him almost unbearable. He'd changed too. Exchanging the red shirt and tie for shades of gray a more formal beautiful black scarf with a light pattern that she'd never seen before. There was a white flower on his lapel, and it was more perfection! He was perfect. Everything she'd always wanted and more!

He waited for her, his hands fidgeting nervously and reassuringly at the same time in front of him. It was a good sign in her mind, he understood all too well the step they were taking, the commitment it was. And she knew how nerve-wracking it had to be for him, after what had happened in his past, how he'd been burned. It wouldn't happen this time, she'd make sure of that. They were different, they were made for each other, perfect in every way! And as her father stopped in his tracks, casting her a happy glance she realized that she would have the rest of her life to prove it to him…and she couldn't wait to start.

Archie stepped up as her father fell away, as they exchanged smiles and knowing glances. Did he know how perfect this was? How wonderful? "It is my great honor," Archie said happily next to her making her stomach roll over happily, "to officiate this most lovely union." He glanced over at the cricket for a moment, his smile disappearing as if he'd completely forgotten they weren't alone and was surprised to find someone had intruded on them. But when he looked back at her she could see the smile in his eyes, the smallest hint of a blush that someone had just referred to something he was doing as "lovely". It was good. He'd see it this time. She'd marry him every day for the rest of their lives if that was what it took. "If you'd like to begin, your vows…" Archie prompted glancing at her.

"Rumpelstiltskin…" She didn't have anything written down, she didn't need it, she'd had the vows written on her heart for years, thought of them time and time again, now she just needed to put them to words. His happy smile made it all too easy. "This thing we have it's, it's never been easy," she admitted, fighting uselessly to hold her emotions in until the end. She wouldn't be successful, not where she was going, but he wouldn't mind. He'd understand if she used the right words. "I've…I've lost you so many times. I've lost you to…to darkness, to weakness, and, and finally…to death."

She had to pause for a moment, to chase away the painful memories, to focus on his face and remind herself that it wouldn't happen again, that it was over, that every time she'd lost him he'd never truly been gone! Tonight was proof of that. This wasn't about how they'd lost each other it was about how they came back to one another...always! There was more trouble ahead, without doubt, they'd never lead a quiet life, but with trouble came brief bouts of happiness and they could survive on that. They could survive loss after loss as long as they always looked forward to what they'd gain instead!

"But now I realize," she sighed as the lump in her throat finally vanished and she could speak again. "I realize that I have not spent my life losing you…I've spent my life finding you!" His smile was bright, and he shook his head as if amazed at her words, the small traces of guilt she could see in it disappeared with her final words. Yes, it had happened quickly, suddenly, but that didn't change that this was right where they needed to be!

"Belle," he went on with a sigh, "when we met, I wasn't just unloved and unloving. I was an enemy of love. Love had only brought me pain. My walls were up, but you brought them down. You brought me home."

She was already crying when memories of their past assaulted her, making it even worse. Every look, every touch, every night and morning, every word and glance he'd ever given her in all their time spent together they all played at once in her minds eye! But her tears didn't matter, any amount of fighting she was doing to contain it wasn't going to last much longer. She wanted to be closer to him, to reach out and touch him, to comfort him as she knew only she could and thank him for all the wonderful things that she'd always known but never actually heard him acknowledge. He was her home as well, and she hoped he knew that above all else.

"You brought light into my life," he went on after a moment, "and chased away all the darkness. And I vow to you, I will never forget the distance between what I was and what I am." She wanted to correct him, to remind him he wasn't a "what", he wasn't a beast, he was a man, a beautiful wonderful man, and she would never forget how he had changed her for the better too.

But before she could open her mouth to say something he reached into his pocket and glanced over at Archie. The cricket nodded and he finally stepped closer to her revealing what he'd had hidden away in his pocket. A ring. A gorgeous, stunning ring! One for her and her alone, a sign and seal of the promise he was making. She should have remembered one for him! Why hadn't she thought to get him one? Taken one of the dozens she'd seen in the shop for him?! Taken two minutes to do something special?! But when he held out his hand for her own she completely forgot the blunder and let her hand be enveloped in his warm one. They could correct that later.

"I owe more to you than I can ever say," he muttered, slipping it on. The vows were over, satisfying the requirements of marriage and he was talking to her again, just as himself, just as he always had, as if they were alone in their bedroom instead of in the middle of a forest with Archie and her father bearing witness to his confession. "How you can see the man behind the monster," he went on and shaking his head in confusion, "I will never know."

She forgot what was happening herself. Her instincts had taken over, her responses automatic as she shook her own head in denial. She still hated that word, she would always hate that word, especially when it was in reference to him. The monster wasn't here…not now. It wouldn't remain so, she knew that. The beast lived in his skin and reared its head at the most inconvenient of times, but for now, so long as he stayed with her, so long as he was always willing to let her help him through times of trouble, the two of them could overcome it! They'd tamed the beast together! They were strong together, they were both flawed, but they corrected each other. And if he could love her even when she was insisted on helping people against her own personal safety, then she could love him through his own flaws.

"But that monster's gone," she insisted. "And the man beneath him may be flawed, but we all are. And I love you for it." She squeezed his hands tighter. She loved the light and the dark, just as she'd told Neal. And just as she'd promised Neal she was going to take care of those thoughts, of the negative feelings and condescending remarks, she'd uphold that promise for the rest of her life just like she would the one they were making today. Someday she'd get him to understand. For Neal.

"Sometimes," she informed him swallowing back her emotions, "the best book has the dustiest jacket. And sometimes," she corrected, choosing a metaphor he could relate too much more easily, one that made them both smile, "the best tea cup is chipped!"

In the end he broke first at the words. Tears were swelling in his eyes as a grateful smile spread across his face and he couldn't seem to stand it anymore, neither of them could. It was only a few steps, but they were too far away. So he released her hand and stepped forward to touch her, to place a hand on her neck and rub his thumb over her cheek as the other rested against her waist, pulling her closer.

She didn't try to hold back her happy tears any more, she welcomed them as she realized it was done, over. Archie had stepped away sentences ago to leave them in peace, her father's presence over her shoulder had faded away. Vows were said, a ring exchanged, and there was only one thing left to do. Only one thing that would ease the overwhelming wave of emotion crashing through her. So she returned motion. She reached forward, fit her free hand around his back to pull him closer, and finally kissed her husband.

* * *

**Well, welcome to the end. I really hope that you enjoyed this story! The next story in the Moments series that I'll be publishing will be Moments Exchanged. technically it'll be the fifth in the series, though it'll be the sixth published, starting in December. It will deal with everything that happened in the Enchanted forest during the missing year BEFORE Moments Revealed takes place. It will begin with everyone arriving in the Enchanted Forest in "New York Serenade" and end with everyone leaving for Storybrooke in "A Curious Thing". Look for it in December and I am sorry that I've had to publish out of order. I don't like doing it but I found that it was necessary for the plot. The next true installment in the Moments Series, the seventh publication, everything for season 4A & 4B, will of course be out next summer.**

**Of course if you liked what you read please review! I love getting those wonderful little gems in my inbox and communicating with the people reading on a personal level. And if you want to read more (and review more) please check out any of the other fictions in the Moments Series. For more information on the Moments Series, upcoming fictions, posting and publishing dates, or a reading order check out the authors note at the end of any of the Moments fictions. And to keep up on any editions on the Moments Series throughout the year follow Montreat11 on Twitter!** **Peace**** and Happy Reading!**


	57. Authors Note

Hey ya'll! Since the series is still running and I'm doing my best to keep it as accurate as possible there is always the chance that I will have to add another chapter or two to this story to do that (course that also means I might have to delete or edit some but it hasn't happened yet and if it does I'll cross that bridge when I come to it). Therefore, this story will continued to be labeled as "complete" but be aware that until the series ends it's only "completeish". So, be sure to favorite or follow this story so you'll get notification of any updates. Should I need to create new chapters I will post a chapter after this note called "Chapter Updates" to let you know what is new. I will post those chapters at the beginning of every hiatus and summer, before I begin posting the other stories. But if it's just a matter of editing posts I won't bother making notifications, they are usually pretty small adjustments and you can discover that for yourself.

This is how all of the fictions in the Moments Series work. So, just for the record, here's the reading order for the Moments Series, just in case you need it.

**Moments Known and Unknown**-Belle's perspective of everything that happened in the Enchanted Forrest. Begins with the moment Belle meets Rumple in her fathers castle and ends the moment the curse hits. Currently updated through season 3.

**Moments Seen and Unseen**-Belle's perspective of events starting with her in the asylum in "Skin Deep" and continuing on through the moment Regina gives her Lacey in "Lacey".

**Moments Missed**-Contains all of Lacey's memories. Begins with Regina giving Belle Lacey in "Lacey" and ends with Rumple bringing Belle back in "...And Straight on till Morning".

**Moments Shared and Unshared**-Belle's perspective of the events from the moment Rumple give's Belle back her memories in "...And Straight on till Morning" through the events at the town line in "Going Home".

**Moments Revealed and Unrevealed**-Belle's perspective of the events in Storybrooke during the second half of season three. It begins with Belle waking up back in Storybrooke a bit before the events in "New York Serenade" and ends with the wedding in "There's No Place Like Home".

Finally, I know what you are thinking: "Where is the Enchanted Forest storyline from season 3B going to go? Well, I am pleased to announce:

**Moments Exchanged**-This fiction will be everything that happens in that year in the Enchanted Forest no one is able to remember in season 3B and it will be begin to be published during season four's winter hiatus. It will start with their arrival in the Enchanted Forest and will end with the moment the curse is cast to send everyone back to Storybrooke. For the most part it will focus on Belle's relationships with characters besides Rumple, but especially Neal. Look for it in December!

Thanks for reading ya'll! If you enjoyed fiction I hope you'll check out some of the other stories in the series and favorite or follow them to receive their updates as well, and I hope that you'll review a chapter or two for me so that I know how I'm doing and have the opportunity to thank you personally for reading. Stay tuned for posting dates OR I check out **Montreat11** on twitter for updates on the series throughout the year!

Peace and Happy Reading!


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